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Professional and Employability Development Series
The Seven Skills of Dialogue




    Presented by Gary Ryan 
    Organisations That Matter®



1                                www.orgsthatmatter.com   © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Conversation continuum




                                                Dialogue
                  Skilful discussion
         Polite discussion
     Raw debate

2                     www.orgsthatmatter.com   © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Debate




                                         Dialogue
                  Skilful discussion
         Polite discussion
     Raw debate

3              www.orgsthatmatter.com   © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Polite discussion




                                                  Dialogue
                  Skilful discussion
         Polite discussion
     Raw debate

4                       www.orgsthatmatter.com   © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Skilful discussion




                                                   Dialogue
                  Skilful discussion
         Polite discussion
     Raw debate

5                        www.orgsthatmatter.com   © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Dialogue




                                         Dialogue
                  Skilful discussion
         Polite discussion
     Raw debate

6              www.orgsthatmatter.com   © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
The benefits of dialogue


A new understanding of 
challenges, problems and                                  Better decision making
issues can emerge




Individual and team                                   The seven skills of dialogue 
communication is enhanced                             can be practiced at any time

     7                       www.orgsthatmatter.com    © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
The seven skills of dialogue

                                         Deep 
                                       listening

                                                         Respecting 
                   Reflecting
                                                           others




               Balancing 
              advocacy  &                                      Inquiry
                inquiry



                           Suspending 
                                                   Voicing 
                         assumptions & 
                                                   openly
                          judgements


8                               www.orgsthatmatter.com         © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Deep listening

 Conscious choice to listen                     Deep            Quietening the voice in our heads
                                              listening

                                                                Respecting 
                          Reflecting
                                                                  others


Listen to understand                                                          Focus on understanding 
   the whole story                                                            the speaker
                     Balancing 
                    advocacy  &                                       Inquiry
                      inquiry



It can occur anywhere,            Suspending 
                                                          Voicing 
                                                                        Listen both for what is said, 
        anytime                 assumptions &                                   and what is 
                                                          openly
                                 judgements
                                                                             ‘between the lines’
       9                               www.orgsthatmatter.com         © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Respecting others

                                                   Deep                            You do not have to 
"I disapprove of                                 listening
                                                                                       agree with 
what you say, 
                             Reflecting
                                                                   Respecting        different views
but I will defend to                                                 others
the death your
right to say it.“ Voltaire

                         Balancing 
                        advocacy  &                                      Inquiry
                          inquiry

                                                                           Recognises that different 
You will allow the time and
                                                                             views are valid and 
 space for different views,          Suspending 
                                   assumptions & 
                                                             Voicing          contribute to our 
  and seek to understand            judgements
                                                             openly
                                                                          understanding of the whole
            them
         10                               www.orgsthatmatter.com         © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Inquiry

                                                  Deep                            Focuses upon open 
The capacity to ask                             listening
                                                                                      questions
genuine questions
                                                                  Respecting 
                            Reflecting
                                                                    others




                        Balancing 
                       advocacy  &                                      Inquiry
                         inquiry

                                                                           See “The Art of Skilful 
Allows our mental models                                                  Questions” episode of this 
                                    Suspending 
 to ‘come to the surface’         assumptions & 
                                                            Voicing                series
                                                            openly
                                   judgements


        11                               www.orgsthatmatter.com         © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Voicing openly

                                               Deep                             The capacity to say
Also known as “Advocacy”                     listening
                                                                               what you think AND
                         Reflecting
                                                               Respecting       to explain why you 
                                                                 others
                                                                               think what you think



                     Balancing 
                    advocacy  &                                      Inquiry
                      inquiry

                                                                        Generally, employers do 
All views need to be heard
                                 Suspending 
                                                         Voicing 
                                                                        expect you to share what 
                               assumptions & 
                                judgements
                                                         openly         your view is and why you 
                                                                                 have it
       12                             www.orgsthatmatter.com         © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Suspending assumptions & judgements

                                                   Deep                             It’s like hanging our 
Voicing lies at the heart of this skill          listening
                                                                                    clothes out to dry –
                             Reflecting
                                                                   Respecting         everyone can see 
                                                                     others
                                                                                              them
Through allowing 
others to question 
our perspective, a                                                                           Displays a 
     deeper              Balancing                                                       willingness to be 
                        advocacy  &                                      Inquiry
understanding of          inquiry                                                           vulnerable
   our view can 
     emerge                                                                         ‘True’ learning 
                                     Suspending 
                                                             Voicing 
                                                                                   can occur when 
                                   assumptions & 
                                    judgements
                                                             openly                we enhance our 
                                                                                      perspective
         13                               www.orgsthatmatter.com         © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Balancing advocacy & inquiry

                                                  Deep                             ...asking genuine 
Balances sharing our                            listening
    view with...                                                                  questions to better 
                            Reflecting
                                                                  Respecting      understand another 
                                                                    others
                                                                                      person’s view



                        Balancing 
                       advocacy  &                                      Inquiry
                         inquiry

Enhances a team’s 
                                                                                       Creates high 
    collective 
                                    Suspending                                            quality 
understanding of a                assumptions & 
                                                            Voicing 
                                   judgements
                                                            openly                    conversations
      topic
       14                                www.orgsthatmatter.com         © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Reflecting

                                                 Deep 
  Enables us to                                listening
                                                                                 Refer to ‘the Rocks 
consciously assess 
                                                                 Respecting       and the Jar” blog
 our performance           Reflecting
                                                                   others




                       Balancing 
                      advocacy  &                                      Inquiry
                        inquiry

                                                                                See the “Conducting 
 Can be conducted as               Suspending                                    an end of meeting 
                                                           Voicing 
  a ‘team reflection’            assumptions & 
                                                           openly              reflection” episode of 
                                  judgements
                                                                                     this series
      15                                www.orgsthatmatter.com         © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Summary

                                                   Deep 
 These skills can be                             listening
                                                                                     You do not ‘have’ 
      practiced 
                                                                   Respecting       to be in a dialogue 
individually and/or          Reflecting
                                                                     others          to practice these 
 collectively at any 
                                                                                            skills
        time

       Your              Balancing 
 communication          advocacy  &                                      Inquiry
                          inquiry
will become more 
 effective even if                                                                When teams learn to 
   only you are                      Suspending                                    dialogue together, 
                                                             Voicing 
practicing these                   assumptions & 
                                                             openly              their effectiveness can 
                                    judgements
       skills                                                                    improve exponentially
       16                                 www.orgsthatmatter.com         © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
Contact details




 Gary Ryan
 Gary.Ryan@orgsthatmatter.com

 www.orgsthatmatter.com
 www.studentsthatmatter.ning.com

 Melbourne, Victoria 3000
 AUSTRALIA

17                     www.orgsthatmatter.com   © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009

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Gary Ryan Professional & Employability Development Series - The Seven Skills Of Dialogue

  • 1. Professional and Employability Development Series The Seven Skills of Dialogue Presented by Gary Ryan  Organisations That Matter® 1 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 2. Conversation continuum Dialogue Skilful discussion Polite discussion Raw debate 2 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 3. Debate Dialogue Skilful discussion Polite discussion Raw debate 3 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 4. Polite discussion Dialogue Skilful discussion Polite discussion Raw debate 4 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 5. Skilful discussion Dialogue Skilful discussion Polite discussion Raw debate 5 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 6. Dialogue Dialogue Skilful discussion Polite discussion Raw debate 6 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 7. The benefits of dialogue A new understanding of  challenges, problems and  Better decision making issues can emerge Individual and team  The seven skills of dialogue  communication is enhanced can be practiced at any time 7 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 8. The seven skills of dialogue Deep  listening Respecting  Reflecting others Balancing  advocacy  &  Inquiry inquiry Suspending  Voicing  assumptions &  openly judgements 8 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 9. Deep listening Conscious choice to listen Deep  Quietening the voice in our heads listening Respecting  Reflecting others Listen to understand  Focus on understanding  the whole story the speaker Balancing  advocacy  &  Inquiry inquiry It can occur anywhere,  Suspending  Voicing  Listen both for what is said,  anytime assumptions &  and what is  openly judgements ‘between the lines’ 9 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 10. Respecting others Deep  You do not have to  "I disapprove of  listening agree with  what you say,  Reflecting Respecting  different views but I will defend to  others the death your right to say it.“ Voltaire Balancing  advocacy  &  Inquiry inquiry Recognises that different  You will allow the time and views are valid and  space for different views,  Suspending  assumptions &  Voicing  contribute to our  and seek to understand  judgements openly understanding of the whole them 10 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 11. Inquiry Deep  Focuses upon open  The capacity to ask  listening questions genuine questions Respecting  Reflecting others Balancing  advocacy  &  Inquiry inquiry See “The Art of Skilful  Allows our mental models  Questions” episode of this  Suspending  to ‘come to the surface’ assumptions &  Voicing  series openly judgements 11 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 12. Voicing openly Deep  The capacity to say Also known as “Advocacy” listening what you think AND Reflecting Respecting  to explain why you  others think what you think Balancing  advocacy  &  Inquiry inquiry Generally, employers do  All views need to be heard Suspending  Voicing  expect you to share what  assumptions &  judgements openly your view is and why you  have it 12 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 13. Suspending assumptions & judgements Deep  It’s like hanging our  Voicing lies at the heart of this skill listening clothes out to dry – Reflecting Respecting  everyone can see  others them Through allowing  others to question  our perspective, a  Displays a  deeper  Balancing  willingness to be  advocacy  &  Inquiry understanding of  inquiry vulnerable our view can  emerge ‘True’ learning  Suspending  Voicing  can occur when  assumptions &  judgements openly we enhance our  perspective 13 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 14. Balancing advocacy & inquiry Deep  ...asking genuine  Balances sharing our listening view with... questions to better  Reflecting Respecting  understand another  others person’s view Balancing  advocacy  &  Inquiry inquiry Enhances a team’s  Creates high  collective  Suspending  quality  understanding of a  assumptions &  Voicing  judgements openly conversations topic 14 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 15. Reflecting Deep  Enables us to  listening Refer to ‘the Rocks  consciously assess  Respecting  and the Jar” blog our performance Reflecting others Balancing  advocacy  &  Inquiry inquiry See the “Conducting  Can be conducted as  Suspending  an end of meeting  Voicing  a ‘team reflection’ assumptions &  openly reflection” episode of  judgements this series 15 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 16. Summary Deep  These skills can be  listening You do not ‘have’  practiced  Respecting  to be in a dialogue  individually and/or  Reflecting others to practice these  collectively at any  skills time Your  Balancing  communication  advocacy  &  Inquiry inquiry will become more  effective even if  When teams learn to  only you are  Suspending  dialogue together,  Voicing  practicing these  assumptions &  openly their effectiveness can  judgements skills improve exponentially 16 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009
  • 17. Contact details Gary Ryan Gary.Ryan@orgsthatmatter.com www.orgsthatmatter.com www.studentsthatmatter.ning.com Melbourne, Victoria 3000 AUSTRALIA 17 www.orgsthatmatter.com © Organisations That Matter® 2007 - 2009