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  • Bullying always has been present in schools. It's important for children to know how to deal with bullies at school regardless of whether or not they are being bullied. The first and foremost thing you can do to help your child deal with bullying at school is to listen to him or her if he or she comes to you with a problem. You can't help your child to deal with a problem of which you are unaware. And if your child is having problems with school bullies, you listening will mean a lot to him or her. As a way of helping everyone especially the parents, who still find it quite hard to manage issues like this, I found this great application which featured safety app which gets me connected to a Safety Network or escalate my call to the nearest 911 when needed, it has other cool features that are helpful for your kids with just a press of a Panic Button. Check it here: http://www.SafeKidZone.com/
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  2. 2. Did you know? <ul><li>In the average elementary classroom, 2 to 3 students feel afraid on a regular basis. </li></ul><ul><li>On the playground there are on average 4.5-6.5 bullying incidences per hour. </li></ul><ul><li>Six out of 10 teens witness bullying and harassment at least once per day. </li></ul><ul><li>36% of elementary students and 5% of high school students who are bullied report it to adults. </li></ul><ul><li>Bullying peaks in middle school. </li></ul>
  3. 3. Cyber Bullying <ul><li>42% of kids have been bullied while online. One in 4 have had it happen more than once. </li></ul><ul><li>35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once. </li></ul><ul><li>58% admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 has happened more than once. </li></ul>
  4. 4. Definition of Bullying: <ul><li>A person is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more persons. </li></ul>
  5. 5. Normal Conflict Vs. Bullying <ul><li>Equal power or friends </li></ul><ul><li>Happens occasionally </li></ul><ul><li>Accidental </li></ul><ul><li>Not serious </li></ul><ul><li>Equal emotional reaction </li></ul><ul><li>Not seeking power or attention </li></ul><ul><li>Not trying to get something </li></ul><ul><li>Remorse-takes responsibility </li></ul><ul><li>Effort to solve the problem </li></ul><ul><li>Imbalance of power, not friends </li></ul><ul><li>Repeated negative actions </li></ul><ul><li>Purposeful </li></ul><ul><li>Serious with threat of physical or emotional harm </li></ul><ul><li>Strong emotional reaction from victim; little or no reaction from bully </li></ul><ul><li>Seeking power, control </li></ul><ul><li>Attempts to gain power </li></ul><ul><li>No remorse-blames victims </li></ul><ul><li>No effort to solve problems </li></ul>
  6. 6. Forms of Bullying & Harassment <ul><li>Physical aggression </li></ul><ul><li>Verbal aggression </li></ul><ul><li>Non-verbal aggression </li></ul><ul><li>Intimidation </li></ul><ul><li>Racial, religious, and ethnic harassment </li></ul><ul><li>Sexual harassment </li></ul><ul><li>Sexual orientation harassment </li></ul><ul><li>Electronic/cyber bullying </li></ul><ul><li>Hazing </li></ul><ul><li>Dating violence </li></ul>
  7. 7. The Players <ul><li>Bullies </li></ul><ul><li>Victims/Targets </li></ul><ul><li>Bystanders </li></ul>
  8. 8. Characteristics of bullies <ul><li>Value the rewards that aggression can bring </li></ul><ul><li>Lack empathy and compassion </li></ul><ul><li>Lack guilt and blame the victim </li></ul><ul><li>Like to be in charge and to dominate </li></ul><ul><li>Aggressive role models </li></ul><ul><li>Think in unrealistic ways: have thinking errors </li></ul>
  9. 9. Common thinking errors <ul><li>Everyone should always go my way </li></ul><ul><li>I don’t care if I hurt other people </li></ul><ul><li>I shouldn’t have to follow rules or do boring things </li></ul><ul><li>Lying can keep you out of trouble </li></ul><ul><li>I never make mistakes and things are never my fault </li></ul><ul><li>Irrational thinking… </li></ul>
  10. 10. Consequences of bullies?
  11. 11. Types of victims <ul><li>Most typical & recognizable type of victim </li></ul><ul><li>Non-assertive and submissive </li></ul><ul><li>Provokes others: is argumentative & aggressive </li></ul><ul><li>Instigates conflict to gain negative attention </li></ul><ul><li>Easily emotionally aroused </li></ul><ul><li>Poor impulse control </li></ul><ul><li>Passive Victims </li></ul><ul><li>Proactive Victims </li></ul>
  12. 12. The downward spiral of victimization <ul><li>Repeated bulling… </li></ul><ul><li>Lowered self-esteem… </li></ul><ul><li>More ineffective responses… </li></ul><ul><li>More bullying… </li></ul><ul><li>Increased disapproval/avoidance by peers… </li></ul><ul><li>Self-blaming, “I deserve it...” </li></ul><ul><li>Helplessness… </li></ul><ul><li>More bullying… </li></ul>
  13. 13. Consequences for victims?
  14. 14. Consequences for victims… <ul><li>Academic: lowered academic achievement, impaired concentration, dislike of school… </li></ul><ul><li>Physical: frequent illnesses, anxiety, stomachaches, sleep difficulties… </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional: lowered self-esteem, hypersensitivity, nervousness, worry, feelings of isolation… </li></ul>
  15. 15. Is there a group of students we are forgetting?
  16. 16. Bystanders <ul><li>Most ignored and underused resource in schools </li></ul><ul><li>The silent majority (the caring majority): approximately 85% of a school population </li></ul><ul><li>Become desensitized over time </li></ul><ul><li>Diminished empathy </li></ul>
  17. 17. Why don’t they get involved? <ul><li>Fear of retaliation </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t know what to do </li></ul><ul><li>Afraid they’ll make things worse </li></ul><ul><li>Worry about losing social status </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t believe that adults will help </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t believe it is their responsibility </li></ul>
  18. 18. Roles of bystanders <ul><li>Assistants: join in the bullying </li></ul><ul><li>Reinforcers: give positive feedback to the bully </li></ul><ul><li>Outsiders: stay away, do nothing </li></ul><ul><li>Defenders: do something to stop the bullying </li></ul>
  19. 19. Consequences of bystanders <ul><li>Feelings of anxiety and guilt </li></ul><ul><li>Lowered sense of self-respect/confidence </li></ul><ul><li>Development of a sense of personal powerlessness </li></ul><ul><li>Diminished sense of empathy </li></ul>
  20. 20. “ Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights, Get up, stand up: don’t give up the fight!” –Bob Marley <ul><li>Taking a stand… </li></ul><ul><li>Any positive behavior that supports the caring majority or caring community… </li></ul>
  21. 21. Strategies for bystanders… <ul><li>Normalize fears and worries </li></ul><ul><li>Emphasize strength in numbers </li></ul><ul><li>Learn skills and strategies to take a stand </li></ul><ul><li>Brainstorm all sources of help at school: teachers, social worker, a.p., principal… </li></ul><ul><li>Different ways to obtain help: anonymously, by yourself, in a group… </li></ul>
  22. 22. Self-talk <ul><li>Use positive self-talk to maintain a positive self-esteem during a bullying situation </li></ul><ul><li>Rehearse mental strategies to avoid getting hooked by the bully </li></ul><ul><li>Think positive statements about self and accomplishments </li></ul>
  23. 23. Additional Strategies…
  24. 24. Dilemmas <ul><li>Your walking down the hallway and you witness someone shoving a friend of yours. What do you do? </li></ul><ul><li>Before class begins you hear someone making fun of the person next to you. What do you do? </li></ul><ul><li>You are hanging out with your group of friends during the weekend and your friends begin teasing a member of the group. What do you do? </li></ul>
  25. 25. Social Story <ul><li>Most people have witnessed bullying during their schooling. When I see someone being made fun of I try to do something. Sometimes I tell an teacher, principal, or parent. When I feel bold, I immediately speak up and try to intervene. The more I stand up the easier it becomes. </li></ul>
  26. 26. In the future… <ul><li>Contact your parent, sibling, coach, teacher, Mr. Schwartz, Mrs. Weldon, Mr. Meyer, Ms. Motsenbocker… with questions and concerns. </li></ul>