1. The Marriage Foundation
„For the Sake of the Kids-Relationship Education- the problem,
policy & practice‟
How can we increase the up take of relationship support
& education
Penny Mansfield CBE
Director, OnePlusOne
pm@oneplusone.org.uk
Friday 6th December 2013

2. Agenda
i. About OnePlusOne
ii. Changing culture
iii. Universal Preventative support
iv. Targeted support
v. Changing behaviour
vi. Conclusions

3. About OnePlusOne
1971
2013
Research into what makes relationships work, or not work
Putting the research into practice: training for
family practitioners – Brief Encounters ®
Relationship support online:
thecoupleconnection.net &
theparentconnection.org.uk
Culture change
and early
intervention

4. Early intervention
PRIVATE
PUBLIC
Picking up problems
Picking up the pieces
Housing
officer
• Social services
• Court services
Heath
Visitor
GP
FSW
Relative
Clergy
• CAMHS
• Relationship Counsellor
• Police
Teacher
Early problems
Family breakdown
Communication breakdown

5. Seeking emotional support –who people
turn to
• Almost 6 out of 10 would feel comfortable talking to their
GP
• Webs of informal emotional support continue to play a
major role in the lives of the majority of the population.
(British Social Attitudes Survey, 2009)
• 43% of people in intact relationships and 30% who are
planning to separate have talked to their GP about their
relationship .
(Department for Education,2010)

6. Attitudes to relationship support
Investigation of relationship difficulties and help-seeking behaviour:
(Ramm et al, 2010)
Main difficulties:
Transition to parenthood; challenges of raising children; finance, health and
wellbeing influence of family and friends, infidelity
Relationship attitudes and beliefs
 Relationship problems should be dealt with by couple
 Most would not use a counselling service
 Two distinct groups – developmental and non-developmental perspective
 Most frequently used source of relationship support – informal
 Relationship support more acceptable if anonymous, there when needed,
preference for support from someone who could empathise with the
situation and not take sides

7. Barriers to Accessing Support
• Availability
•
Accessibility
•
Acceptability
•
Affordability

8. Enablers
•
Identify strengths
•
Building on strengths
•
Reinforcing achievements
•
Creating habits

9. starting point for thinking systematically
about barrier and enablers
COM-B Model
CAPABILITY
MOTIVATION
OPPORTUNITY
BEHAVIOUR

10. Culture Change
“encouraging couples to see accessing relationship
support as a normal thing to do to strengthen their
relationship, rather than something sought at crisis
point.”
(Department of Education, 2012)

11. Implementing culture change
Broadening
Domains
Showcasing
Behaviours
Nourishing
Beliefs

12. Principles of our approach
PRAGMATISM
starting where people are
PARTNERSHIP
trusted, expert partners
SUSTAINABILITY
building a legacy

13. Target audiences
Employers
-
new domain
high influence
we know the evidence and where we‟re starting from
high sustainability
New partners, new parents
- key transition
- focus of OnePlusOne‟s expertise and practice
- high interest
Young people
-
high need
high interest
forming their ideas about relationships
ultimate in sustainability

14. Universal Preventative Support
Vulnerability- Stress- Adaptation Model
(Karney & Bradbury, 1995; Bradbury & Karney, 2004)
 Theoretical model with a rigorous and robust research base.
 Developed from findings of 115 longitudinal studies, 45,000 marital
relationships.
 The quality and stability of relationships depend on 3 interrelated factors:
1. Personal traits and experiences partners bring (Enduring
Vulnerabilities).
2. Life events they encounter on the way (Stressful Events).
Op-eds
3. How they communicate and cope during difficult times (Adaptive
Processes).
Enduring
Vulnerabilities
Adaptive
Processes
Stressful
Events
Relationship
quality
Relationship
Stability

15. The side doors - partners

16. New Parents

17. HOOK
New Parent on forum
Me and my hubby have always had a good social life but
obviously since our new baby girl has arrived things have
changed. Well they have for me at least! He still goes out all
the time after work drinks and football at the weekend. While I
want us both to still have as normal a social life as possible I
wish he would recognise that things have changed and we
should do things as a family. Has anyone else had to deal with
this kind of thing? How did you resolve it?
Forum Moderator response
Of course a baby is going to turn your social life upside down. There's a little
person that needs constant care and attention. But sometimes one parent can
find it hard to put their pre-baby life behind them. You need to get back on track
and on the same path this article shows the importance of compromise
(insert link here)

18. KNOW HOW

19. SHOW HOW

20. Young People

21. HOOK
Young Person on forum
Me and my boyfriend have just moved in with each other and
while I'm loving it I do feel like he's leaving everything for me
to do. He does most of the cooking but I clean the flat, do all
the washing and ironing and set up all our household bills. We
both work full time and I don't think it's fair it's all left to me.
He even had the cheek to moan about the washing up being
left on the side the other night despite the fact he was home
and I didn't get in until late after a night out with friends!
Forum
Moderator
response
Moving in with one another can throw up challenges. You're
learning new things about each other but you do need to work on
communication and expressing how you feel before it boils up
inside you and explodes later down the line. Learn more about the
positive steps you should take to protect your relationship here
(insert link here)

24. Behaviour change
Children talking –
Attention
Motivation

25. Children in the middle of parental
conflict The evidence
“Observing conflict between non-resident parents appears to
be particularly harmful when children feel that they are
caught in the middle.”
•
•
•
One parent denigrates the other parent in front of the child,
Children asked to transmit critical or emotionally negative
messages.
One parent attempts to recruit the child as an ally against the
other.
“Inter-parental conflict is a direct stressor for children, and it can
also interfere with their attachments to parents, resulting in
feelings of emotional insecurity.”
Professor Paul Amato, 2005

26. Children in the middle
When and how children
are caught in the middle.
Attention icons

27. Behaviour Modelling Training (BMT)
BMT - one of the most widely used, well-researched and highly regarded
psychologically based training interventions.
Based on Bandura‟s (1977) social learning theory.
Key elements:
• Attention – “I get it”
• Retention - “It sticks”
• Rehearsal – “I‟m practising”
• Transfer –
“I am applying it…to new situations”
• Motivation – “I can change, things will improve”

28. Distinctive features of BMT design
• Describes a set of skills to be learned.
• Models displaying effective use of behaviours.
• Opportunities to practise those behaviours.
• Feedback and social reinforcement following practice.
• Transfer of behaviours.

29. • Common scenarios
• 5 different families
• Focus on child
• Progressive

30. What was useful?
over 1000 participants
(Percentage answering very useful or useful)
•
90%
clips of children talking about how they felt.
•
85%
clips of adults talking about how they felt.
•
86%
watching the videos (seeing exactly how
people can make a change, by learning a skill).

31. Conclusion- How to increase uptake of
relationship support & education
•
Think about the factors that interact to generate behaviour –
capability, opportunity and motivation.
•
Identify and understand barriers.
•
Identify and understand enablers.
•
Know your audience – their needs, what engages them, their
learning styles.
•
Identify „side doors‟ – where your target audience are already.
•
Partnership with „side doors‟.

32. Resources
https://oneplusone.org.uk
https://thecoupleconnection.net
https://theparentconnection.org.uk