Emotions operate on many levels, physical and mental, and they bridge thought, feeling, and action ; they affect many aspects of a person our lives. Emotions round us out, as we are more than our thoughts, perception, reason, or memories. Understanding and identifying emotions so we can express them effectively is key to a healthy life.
1. Effectively Manage Emotions
Dr Brandy A Marks
Biblical & Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA
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2. Emotions
• According to Webster's dictionary, the
term ‘emotion’ is the Latin ex-movere,
meaning to move away.
• When we are carnal, in our emotions, we
move away from the will of God and do not
walk in the Spirit.
Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 2
3. Emotions
• How do you use your emotions as a means to move
away from people?
– Does your anger keep you apart from others?
• When did your emotions cause you move away
from the will of God and not walk in the Spirit?
• What was God asking you to do?
– What did you feel that created the separation?
• How could you use your emotions to move toward
closeness with God and/or others?
– Talk about my feelings of ….
– Let other people know I am anxious or afraid, etc.
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4. Emotional Responses
• Emotions are "a complex, usually a strong subjective
response that involves physiologic changes preparing
us for action“ (to fight or flee or even be at peace)
• Due to their complexity, emotions are not easy to
explain, which can make dealing with them very
difficult, however
• Clear thinking means we will more likely be led by the
Spirit, not our emotions.
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5. Your Emotions
• What Emotions do you typically experience and
respond to frequently?
• What action do they prepare you for?
– When angry, I prepare to …
• What do emotions mean to you?
– Is it okay to be angry, sad, fearful, joyful, other?
– I’m embarrassed to cry; I must be happy not angry.
• How could you use your mind to overcome angry,
fearful or anxious emotions?
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6. Holy Spirit Leading
• Joyce Meyer says the Holy Spirit may be leading
us to do one thing but our emotions, especially we
get all excited about doing something, we may see
the emotion as a confirmation of God's will.
– Especially if it’s something we strongly desire
• This is not necessarily an accurate perception
• That physiologic response may be nothing more
than a rush of adrenalin (that brings excitement)
or norepinephrine (bringing a pleasant feeling).
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7. Holy Spirit Leading
• Have you gotten excited about something,
thinking it was a confirmation of God's will?
– You met someone at church and he or she was your
ideal so you assumed God brought that person into
your life so he or she must be meant for you.
• What was the event?
• How did you feel then?
• What did you do about it?
• How did that situation work out?
Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA
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8. Satan and Emotions
• Other times, the Spirit may lead us to do a
certain thing, and our emotions will not want
anything to do with what God has revealed for us.
• Fear or anxiety—tools of Satan--can keep us
from moving with the will of God.
• At times it is harder to obey God. Satan uses our
emotions - or lack - to keep us out of God's will.
• What situation comes to mind?
• How did it work out and what did you learn?
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9. To serve - Emotions or?
• Choose this day whom you will serve [your
emotions or God] –Joshua 24:15.
• What’s it like being a slave to your emotion?
• Can you imagine be freed of that enslavement?
• The wise will hear and increase in learning, and the
person of understanding acquires skill and sound
counsel [so you follow Gods will]--Pro 1:5
• What learning or skills do you need to increase?
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10. Enjoy Emotions
• We can and should enjoy our emotions, however,
there are times when they work against us, such as
when we listen to the emotion rather than to God.
• So, do not set aside and invalidate, frustrate
and/or nullify the grace of God - Galatians 2:21
[by not listening and instead going your own way.]
• Consider a situation where you did your own thing
and how it turned out.
Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA
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11. Walled Emotions
• People who have been badly hurt, they may develop
a hard heart and build walls to protect themselves.
– Pride can also lead us to a hardness of heart as was seen
with the Pharisees of Jesus’ day.
• Everyone has feelings, but some people choose not
to reveal theirs and become callous -not feeling
anything.
• Breaking down the walls by the Word is needed and
having a spiritual mind, one that is focused on God.
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12. Broken Walls
• When have you been badly hurt?
– Failed relationship, gossipy friends who hurt you…
• Have you ever had a hardness of heart and built
walls to protect yourself? Describe.
• Have you chosen not to reveal your feelings and
kept silent when someone was hurting?
• How could you strengthen your spiritual mind and
break down your hard hearted walls?
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13. A Spiritual Mind
• “Stop those who do evil. Support those who do good.
God, you are fair. ...” Psalm 7:9
• If your thinking is controlled by your sinful self,
there is spiritual death. But if your thinking is of
the Spirit, there is life and peace. -Ro 8:6.
• If we pursue the material and live only for our self,
we'll never be satisfied. If we live for the Spirit,
we'll live in peace now and forever. --Romans 8:7
• What price have you paid for being carnal and
hostile [rebellious] to God’s will?
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14. Carnal Impulses
• … as long as there is envy, jealousy and arguing and
division among you, you are unspiritual and of the
flesh, behaving like mere humans--1 Cor 3:3.
• The unspiritual are so, because they lived by human
nature, controlled by their "impulses" [emotions]
and not the Spirit of God.
• They needed to change their habits [their mind]
and respond with fruit of the Spirit [in love, joy,
peace, patience, kind, generous, faithful].
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15. Impulses
• Where is envy and jealousy in your life?
• Who do you argue with creating division?
• What is your attitude and behavior like?
• How do your impulses control you?
• Are you generally led by the Spirit?
• Do you tend to be led by impulses?
• What habits do you need to change?
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16. Breaking Habits
• Breaking any habit is a struggle; it’s a fight within that
requires God, "Lord, help me";
• And knowing the Holy Spirit is always with us to help at
all times.
• However, we must make the choice to do whatever is
right in God’s sight.
• What choices do you need to make?
• Change your way of thinking and you will change.
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17. Choices
• Ask and it will be given; seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened (Luke 11.9)
• God expects us to do our part too, while asking
Him for what we need, seeking, and looking for
the doors he will open.
• But then, we must take action and walk through,
following in His ways.
• God gives us the ability to do whatever is
needed, but we must choose wisely.
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18. Wisdom
• The beginning of Wisdom is: get Wisdom! With
all you have gotten, get understanding (Pro 4:7.)
• Thus we see through the lies Satan speaks and
past the feelings he stirs within us.
• We keep our eyes on the Word of God and do
what it says, not what we feel like doing.
• Therefore, we have become wise.
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19. Commit Your Way
• As such, commit your way to the Lord and be led
by the Spirit - not by your emotions.
• When an emotion rises, test it to see if it is of
God. If it is not, resist it.
– Emotions are appropriate depending on a situation
• Thus we struggle against our emotions - by using
our free will to make a decision.
• We turn to Jesus who understood, having been
tempted and overcame.
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20. Committed
• As such, commit your way to the Lord and be
led by the Spirit - not by your emotions.
• What emotions often rise to tempt you?
• How do you experience them?
– Your attitude toward others or situations?
• How can your free will help you to do what is
right in God’s sight?
– What different choices do you need to make?
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21. Jesus and Emotions
• Jesus was touched with the feelings of our
infirmities, and was in all ways tempted just as
we are, yet without sin.
• Do you feel hope, knowing that, as a human, if
Jesus managed, you can too?
• How was Jesus tempted just as you are?
• Imagine coming boldly to the throne and finding
mercy and grace to help in your time of need?
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22. Rely and Refuse
• Jesus experienced every emotion you and I do,
yet He did not give in to His feelings.
• He relied on the Word of God and refused to be
tempted to act sinfully. It is not a matter of
simply thinking, "I shouldn't feel this way";
• But a matter of knowing you have a choice;
• Recognize the emotion/feeling, then let it go
• Cry out to God and let the fruit of the Holy Spirit
lend discipline and control to your emotions.
(Galatians 5:23.)
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23. Gifts of the Spirit
• We are to use the gifts of the Holy Spirit:
• according to the grace that is given us,
– if prophecy, according to the level of our faith;
– If in a ministry, then we minister
– Those who teach, do so in teaching;
– S/he who exhorts, be encouraging
– Those who share, keep it super simple
– If a leader, be diligent to lead well; or
– Those who show mercy, do so joyfully.
• What gifts have you received?
• How could you put them to better use?
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24. Brotherly Love
• Let love be without hypocrisy, avoid evil, do good;
in brotherly love to one another, loving fervently,
having led one another in honor.
• Be diligent, not slothful, fervent in spirit, serving
the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in affliction,
steadfast in prayer, give to the needs of the
saints, pursue hospitality.
• Bless those who persecute you; bless, and do not
curse. Love as you love yourself and everyone
does love themselves; it’s why we do what we do.
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25. Rejoice I Say
• Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with
those who weep; mind the same thing toward one
another, not minding high things [being full of
yourself], but yielding to the lowly [be humble].
• Do not be wise in yourselves, nor repay evil for
evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA
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26. Now we Rejoice
How can you apply each of these in your life?
• Rejoice with those who rejoice
• Weep with those who weep or grieve;
• mind the same thing toward one another,
• not being prideful, but humble.
• Do not be wise within yourselves.
• Repay no one evil for evil.
• Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
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27. If it is possible,
• as far as you are able, be at peace with
everyone; do not avenge yourselves; let go your
anger; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I
will repay, says the Lord."
• So, if your enemy hungers, feed him. If he
thirsts, give him something to drink. For in so
doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.
– By doing good to your enemy, their inner guilt will
burn within them and may ultimately change them.
• Do not be overcome by evil; overcome evil with
good.
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28. Make it Happen
• How could you be more at peace?
• How can you avoid revenge?
• As a metaphor … consider
– What do you feed your enemy? Fruit of the Spirit
(love, joy, peace, etc.)
– What can you give him drink? (kindness, compassion)
• How does this heap coals of fire on him?
– Not done in a mean-spirited manner either
• How can you overcome evil with good?
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29. Get Understanding
• All wisdom comes from the Lord, as does …
understanding. Proverbs 2:6
• Jesus showed understanding,
• How can you give this message to others, no
matter your past or present feelings?
• Satan wants us to be hard and callous so we
cannot feel or be sensitive to others.
• Imagine you are being sensitive to even your
enemies and showing them love.
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30. Sensitivity
• God wants us to be sensitive to the feelings
and needs of others and less so to our own.
• Acknowledge and accept your emotions but
• Do not to be led by your feelings, instead be
moved in compassion and understanding,
• so we may be able to comfort those who are in
every kind of trouble, through the comfort
with which we ourselves are comforted by
God. (2 Corinthians 1:4).
• How does or has God comforted you?
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31. Not Your Feelings
• Jesus did not feel like going to the cross [in
an agony He prayed more earnestly], yet
subjected Him self to the will of God.
• He knelt down and prayed, “Father, if You are
willing, remove this cup from Me.”
Dr Brandy A Marks
www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA
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32. Blood, Sweat & Tears
• Yet not My will, but Yours be done.
An angel appeared, strengthening
Him. …
• His sweat was as it were great
drops of blood falling down to the
ground. (Luke 22:41-44)
• Jesus knew about emotions!
Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA
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33. Fires of Affliction
• “Establish the righteous; for You, Who try the
hearts and minds” Psalm 7:9
• In this Psalm and in Revelation 2:23 God searches
minds (thoughts and purposes) and the [emotions]
heart, and tries or tests us until purified.
• If God searched your mind and emotions, what
would he find?
• How have you been tried and tested?
• How were you more purified?
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34. Discipline and Control
• How will you to learn to discipline your thoughts or
emotions unless God allows you trying times?
• God never allows more than we can bear.
(1Corinthians 10:13.)
• If the Lord does not allow such testing times then
we will never learn to deal with the devil’s when he
brings them upon us.
• What trying times have you learned from?
• How were you made stronger?
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35. Trying Times
• Trying times are learning times.
• Much like athletes endurance trials train them
for the big race, so God train us to fulfill His
purpose for our lives.
• Looking back, can you see how God has trained
you for some purpose? What?
• Certain emotional conditions also provide trying
times to manage.
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36. Bi-Polar Disorder
• “Manic depressive,” also Bi-Polar disorder, is
disordered emotions that fluctuate from one
polar extreme to the next.
• Anyone can learn to resist the depressed and
the high emotions.
• There will always be days when a person is up
and days when they are down.
• The key is to balance the emotions, not accept
the highs and reject the lows.
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37. Stability is Important
• Being honest with our self and with others is
crucial to our stability.
• People close to us can sense our struggles and if
we are honest with them about what is going and
can offer assistance.
• Whether anger, depression, or any emotion, our
family or friends have the opportunity to
encourage and support us in our need.
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38. Stability is Important
• Are there people with whom you can be honest
about your emotions and your struggles?
• If no, why not?
• When you have been honest with others have
they been there to offer support?
• Which of your family or friends have been there
to encourage and support you?
• If no one, how do you manage?
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39. I’ve Got the Power
• Whatever we hide has power over us, so we must
bring everything out of darkness into the light
of honesty and openness, then they lose their
grip on us immediately.
• John 8:32 says the truth will set us free and
James 5:16 says to confess our faults to one
another so we may be healed and restored to
spiritual health.
– Anger, bitterness, and resentment has many serious
consequences on the body mind and spirit
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40. Where’s your Power?
• What is hidden that has power over you?
• Could you bring it out of darkness into the light
of honesty and openness?
• If you have already done this, how did it feel to
have that grip on you loosened?
• How has the truth set you free?
• Have you confessed faults to another?
• In what way were you healed/ restored?
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41. Respect: Give to Receive
• We respect people who are open and honest
or straightforward just as they respect us if
we are honest with them.
• The trick is not to cater to our emotions,
giving into fear and doubt.
• God helps if we continually trust Him and
follow the lead of the Holy Spirit.
Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA
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42. Catering to Emotions
• In catering to our emotions, the price we pay is
not living the Spirit-filled life God wants for us.
• In what way do you cater to your desires?
• Everyone who is ruled by the Holy Spirit thinks
about spiritual things--Romans 8:5.
– If you are ruled by your emotions then they have
control of you and your actions
• How different does this feel from catering to
your desires, yourself or emotions?
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43. Vice Versa
• We sigh and look within; Jesus sighed and
looked without.
• We sigh and look down; Jesus sighed and
looked up.
• We sigh and look to earth. Jesus sighed
and looked to heaven.
• We sigh and look to man. Jesus sighed, and
looked to God! --Octavius Winslow
• He who says he abides in Him ought
himself also to walk as He walked. -- 1 John
2:6
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44. I Will Never Leave You
• "He who sent Me is with Me. … I always do what
pleases Him” -- John 8:29
– What blessings are ours when we do what pleases
Father God.
• "..be content with such things as you have. For
He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor
forsake you." -- Heb 13:5 (VW)
• How does it feel, knowing God will always be
there with you to help not hinder you?
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45. A Weakness
• Some people see emotions as a weakness, and feel
guilty when experiencing emotions of anger or
sorrow. Many Christians believe Jesus was
detached from his emotions, and so should we be.
• Yet the gospels reveal that Jesus was very
emotional. He wept. He felt anger; in the Garden
of Gethsemane shortly before His arrest . . . Mark
14:32-42
• He experienced some troublesome emotions
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46. A Man of Sorrows
Really consider this next scene and what it must
have been like for Jesus …
• 32. Then they came to a place which was named
Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, "Sit
here while I pray."
• 33. And He took Peter, James and John with
Him, and He began to be troubled and deeply
distressed.
• 34. He said, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful,
even to death. Stay and watch.“
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47. Fearful and Frustrated
• 35. He fell on the ground, … And He said, "Abba,
Father, all things are possible for You. Take this
cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will,
but what You will."
• 37. Then He came and found them sleeping, and
said to Peter, "Simon, are you sleeping? Could you
not watch one hour?
• 38. Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation.
The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.“
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48. Time and Again
• 39. Again He went away and prayed, and spoke
the same words. 40. And when He returned, He
found them asleep again, for their eyes were
heavy; and they did not know what to answer Him.
• 41. He came the third time and said, "Are you
still sleeping and resting? It is enough! The hour
has come; behold, the Son of Man is being
betrayed into the hands of sinners.
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49. The Betrayal
• 42. Rise. Let us be going. My betrayer is at hand.“
see Luke 22:44
• No matter what emotions we feel, Jesus knew
everyone and understood what we are going
through.
• However, He chose to respond different from the
way many of us do.
• While frustrated that they slept on, he did not
berate them but endured with patience.
Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA
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50. Doctrine of the Cross
Anyone who desires to come after me, must
deny themselves, pick up their cross daily, and
come follow me—Luke 9:23
• To express emotion as Jesus did means to deny
our desire for emotional displays or denial of
emotion, and
• Instead respond thoughtfully and with love and
honesty toward others.
• How hard or easy would that be for you?
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51. Thank you for watching
I hope this was a blessing for you and helps you
to make the changes you desire in your life.
Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA
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