Mothers - The silent architects of society, When mothers are not supported society falters.

Tahera Mohammed H Chaudhary Tel/Fax: 02 9648 0586
20 Asquith Street, Silverwater. NSW-2128 Mobile: 0402 336 074
Page 1
Mothers:
Architects
of
Society
Mother:
The first
Mentor
for a child.
When
Mothers are
not supported
society falters

Page 2
When circumstances compel Mothers into performing the
duties of both a father and a mother, the franchise of
Motherhood is in crisis.
Mothers are forced into sacrificing their important role –
their role as an architect of human society.
While society is ready to acknowledge that an
imbalance in the environment leads to climate change
catastrophes, it is rarely acknowledged that an
imbalance in the role of parenting is the cause of much
chaos in the family unit which ultimately affects
societies.
In all human cultures and civilisations, the significance and
importance of the family unit has constantly been emphasised.
Quite often, the family unit is described as the glue which binds
society together. When the family unit breaks down, the negative
implications for society are many.
When children are unable to look to positive parental role models,
aimlessness, insularity, and depression are some of the
psychological symptoms which may be exhibited.
The danger of these symptoms in young children and teenagers is
that they may manifest themselves in substance abuse and anti-
social behaviour. The cost to society is not only emotional and
psychological, but also financial, including:

Page 3
Social chaos and Australian Government spending: (figures from various
sources*).
Alcohol abuse - $54 billion p.a.
Victim Compensation(domestic violence only)
-65 to 80 Billions
already spend
Incest
( Increasing at an
epidemic rate)
Child Protection and out of home care - $2.2 billion 2008-09
AIDS, HIV, STI and other sexual dieses.
e.g Just take Chlamydia(15 year and over  
-79,833 new
notifications in 2011
Depression (worse slow poison killing many-a big
crime) Other psychological and social problems in
children and
Government Grants
- $54 Billions spend
Teenage drug and alcohol abuse
- $85.094 Million
2004-05
3.2% of total ACT
budget
Teenage single mothers, welfare and Social
Security
- $1 Trillion spend
Obesity direct cost - $21 billion spend
Teenage violence and alcohol abuse on the
streets
- Millions spend
Arsenous - Billions spend
Graffiti - $100 Millions p.a.
SUICIDES -more than 2200
suicides per year
Pressure on health system and hospital facilities. - Billions spend
Policemen leaving their jobs because of job
pressure
(Source:Google, ABC, The Australian, SMH, ABS )
The concerning aspect of the financial cost to society is that
Governments are prepared to spend large amounts of money on ad-
hoc solutions to the manifestations of the symptoms, but fail to

Page 4
address the fundamental cause of the problem – the breakdown of
the family unit.
The fact that the importance of maintaining the family unit is
sometimes lost on Governments, and more broadly, society in
general, can lead to some irresponsible fathers believing that they
can break the family unit without any concern for their children and
without ever being questioned about the job they are leaving behind
as fathers.
Some in society expect mothers to take complete responsibility for the
upbringing of their children, while fathers who have decided to leave
the family unit are not faced with any social stigmatisation.
Mothers with little children need the support of the children’s father so
that her children can be raised properly and qualitatively.
*Mothers are the silent architects of society. They are the indispensable
builders of society, who lay the foundation of confidence, faith, and
moral values in our youth. Women are bestowed with a distinct
psychological chemistry that is needed for motherhood and the healthy
development of a family.
When motherhood is removed from the social equation of societies, it
results in catastrophic consequences. In April, former United States
President, Bill Clinton, gathered an army of former presidents, state
governors, and city mayors from all fifty states of America. Their brief
was to address the most perilous problems facing American society - 15
Million young Americans who are considered at –risk youth. Colin
Powell, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff states: " They are
at risk of growing up unskilled, or, even worse, unloved."
Fifteen million youth - all products of dysfunctional families. Every
year 3.4 million kids try drugs, and half a million attempt suicide in the
United States. In 1994, 1.2 million divorces took place in the U.S. and
experts predict that half of all new marriages would end in divorce.

Page 5
Thirty-eight percent of children now live without a biological father.
6.6 million Children live with divorced single parents, mostly mothers
whose ex-husbands tend to fade away from their children. Twenty
percent of children in the United States ages 6-12 have not had a 10-
minute conversation with a parent in a month. Their conversation is
with TV, which acts as their mother, father, baby-sitter, and teacher.
By the time they are teenagers, children have seen an estimated 18,000
violent murders on TV. This is family life in USA. "Something is wrong
with the entire American family," writes Martin Marry, professor at
the University of Chicago. "One has the weird sense that America is a
country with many children but without adults."(*By Adil Naved-USA)
Former Australian of the Yearand ARACY Board Chair, Professor Fiona Stanley,
AC states that "WhileAustralia'seconomicand technological progress has been
strong over recent decades, these benefits have not resulted in significant
improvementsto the health and wellbeingof the nation'syoung people"
AUSTRALIA'S prosperity is masking an unpalatable truth - the health and wellbeing
of our children lag unacceptablybehind those of manydeveloped countries.
21/10 11:45,Australian IT
MENTAL health services for young people with psychosis are in a 'state of
emergency' and deliver poor and inappropriate care, causing delays and
even costing lives.
16/10 05:28,SydneyMorning Herald
There could be an 'epidemic of stillbirths' in Australia in the next few
years if the nation'sobesity rate continues to soar and more women aged
over 35 have children, researchers havefound.
The gap between rich and poor hasgrown in most developed countries
over the past 20 years, leading to an increase in child poverty, an
organisation of 30 leading economies says.

Page 6
Mothers with committed and caring husbands can solve many problems related
to depression, anxiety, and anti-social behaviour in young children and teenagers.
Many single Mothers around the world have to struggle between commitments to
work and family. Rather than being acknowledged for their great contribution to
the human race as Mothers, women, especially single Mothers, need to work both
as a father and as a mother and a bread winner which is worse than working as a
bonded labourer. This constant juggling act, with little or no support from a
husband who has abandoned the family leads to chaos in the family unit and
human society.
Being a Mother is one of the noblest contributions that a woman can make to
civilisation. The importance of nurturing young children at home has
unfortunately turned into a commodity with single Mothers being forced to go to
work and send their children to child care facilities. Having Mothers stay at home
has many societal benefits (at least until they finish their primary schooling):
Mothers can solve bullying, depression, and many other complexes in
children.
The Mother’s lap is the first school for a child. She prepares her child to
face the world and its reality. If a Mother is able to stay at home to look
after her young children, without the added stress of part-time or full-time
employment, she can teach her children in a great deal that how to respect
others and be a good citizens. Mothers pass all the emotions and care and
soft part of the human nature through her presence, cuddles and attention.
Through her talk, through her explanations, she becomes the best teacher, a
counsellor and a psychologist for her child. This guidance prepares her
child to understand other human beings, prepares their mind and uplifts
their sprit. The child practically learns what care is all about. If this is
missing you are raising a hard hearted human being. And definitely in a
child care you will not get the kind of attention what mother can give.
Happy Mothers at home solves the problem of unemployment:
Being at home she is creating more job opportunities for the men so they can
have stable jobs and be responsible for their role as a husband and as a father.

Page 7
Happy Mothers at home reduces carbon pollution and traffic jams:
Mothers can grow their own veggie gardens which can produce
oxygen and less consumption of canned food. (See the video of : story of
stuff by Anne Leonard, on YouTube link:http://youtu.be/gLBE5QAYXp8. or visit
www.storyofstuff.com)
It proves that how we are running out of our natural resources, and polluting our
environment. And on top of everything we are living a life of stress and
frustration. We are playing a role of a consumer rather than a mother, a father, a
farmer or a teacher.
Happy Mothers at home reduces the burden on hospitals crisis:
Healthy children from happy families don’t need hospitals, saving millions or
billions of dollars.
Happy Mothers at home lifts the burden from various and many
counselling organization run by the government:
Happy Mothers at home can assist with solving problems related to
teenage girls and boys: It reduces or solve the cases of incest by the close
family members and other sexual abuse. If children can get good care and
attention and loving upbringing at home they will not wandered around on the
streets or destroying public properties.
The former Coalition Government, led by John Howard, changed the
law for work participation of single mothers. The law was amended so
that once the youngest child of a single mother turned 6, the single
mother was compelled to look for employment. The law previously
allowed mothers to stay at home until the youngest child turned 14.
When single Mothers, who are already working hard, are forced to go to
work and neglect looking after their children, the financial cost to
society will be greater in terms of health spending on children who are
not being cared for properly.

Page 8
Politician/one man’s decision can affect the whole nation especially
its impact on children and its future.
Children and mothers from violent breakups/divorces are suffering. No proper
practical laws of care and safety for these single mothers and children, and life
gets closer to death. Children grow up with low self esteem and as disheartened
and confused as one can be.
There are no limits on relationships in western societies. In Islam God says “If
you can’t do JUSTICE, then MARRY only once”. Here JUSTICE means that if
you have respect for women, you have sense of commitment, if you can provide,
and support, respect and care equally, then you are allowed to marry two or up to
four. And there is a limit but in relationships no limits, no commitment. In Islam
rights always comes with limits.
“ Respect the womb that bore you.” – Al Quran
In Islâm, motherhood is a sacred and sacrosanct vocation,
"Paradise lies under the feet of your mother"- Prophet of
Islam Mohammed(MayAllah’s peace and mercy be upon him)
are the glowing terms with which Prophet described a mother's status.
Motherhood is not a thankless mundane activity, rather it is a spiritual
journey, wherein every bit of sacrifice will be acknowledged and
rewarded. The Holy Qur'ân states: "If any do deeds of righteousness,
be it male or female - and have faith, they will enter paradise and not
the least injustice will be done to them.”
By – Mr. ADIL NAVEED (USA)
Ms. TAHERA CHAUDHARY (AUSTRALIA)
Recommendations:
1. Policies and actions for reducing the divorce rate.

Page 9
a. No sexual relationships, only committed marriages,
safety for women and good future for our children.
b. If Australian government is against four marriages in
Islam, then they must not allow one man having
unlimited relationships? Leaving several women as
single mothers and many children without father,
without support, no care not even fundamental right
to have proper peaceful upbringing as a human child.
Children growing up in different foster cares with no
stability. Worst killed abused and molested by step
parents.
c. If man can support, he should be allowed to marry
more than one wife. Only if he can be JUST,
RESPECTFUL, RESPONSIBLE for his wives and
children (they can follow the available guidance in
Islamic Laws, on having more than one wife). E.g. if
he buys something for his wife #1 and children then
he has to buy similar things for wife #2 and her
children.
d. Strict check on relationship history on a person when
someone wants to marry the person he/she interested
in. Checks like how many relationship person already
have and number of children per relationship. Child
support payment status, violence history.
e. Single sex schools and colleges. So girls can get
properly educated without becoming teenage single

Page 10
mums and complete their education. And boys can
also get proper education and skills so they can have
family and able to take care of their family with
stability.
f. Complete ban on alcohol. As said, “Culture which
destroys the culture and its people to extinction then
it is not a good culture”.
2. In case if divorce happens.
a. Immediately after divorce mother should be
supported financially and emotionally so in
return she can resettle and restart her life with
her children.
b. Instead of first handling kid’s custody issue, court
must give the priority to check that mothers with
children are properly sheltered and have basic
needs available. Minimum or no disturbance to
children relocation and sudden change and
several difficulties at once can have long lasting
impact on child’s mind and life. This way
government don’t have to spend on child’s future
counselling and rehabilitation costs.
c. Children stays with the mother as only mother
can provide emotional, psychological and

Page 11
physical care to the child. After certain age,
children should have ongoing relationships with
the father as well.
d. If parent or fathers have violence/drug/sexual
abuse history, extreme care should be taken
while handling the custody issues for the
children. Children should be only allowed when
it is safe and when they can protect themselves,
or understand clearly what is bad or harmful for
them (when they become teenage etc).
e. Child development related issues will minimise
when children are getting proper attention and
care from their mother. Problems like ADHD and
other psychological disorders in children can be
avoided.
f. Single mothers with young children should not
be forced to report every fortnight for work
participation. Instead mothers should be
submitting their kid’s health and education
records quarterly, like child’s weight and height,
IBM, school reports and progress etc. Until child
reaches the age of 14years, mother should be not
force to work.
(One theory that supports environmental causes of developmental disorders
is one that involves stress in early childhood. Researcher and child
psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D, theorizes that developmental
disorders can be caused by early childhood traumatisation.[11] In his works

Page 12
he compares developmental disorders in traumatized children to adults
with post-traumatic stress disorder, linking extreme environmental stress to
the cause of developmental difficulties.[11] Other stress theories suggest that
even small stresses can accumulate to result in emotional, behavioral, or
social disorders in children.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Developmental_disorder).
g. Father if alive to provide staying and proper
maintenance of the mother and children until
children become independent.
h. Father should avoid getting married if he can’t
support two families or another set of
children.
g. Woman can understand other woman better, if she gets
married to a man who already got children, she must
see and make sure that man as a father must support
his previous family/children.
h.Mother should avoid getting married again
immediately, especially if she got very young children
to take care of. New marriage might divert her
attention towards these children or she might get
aggressive or unloving new husband, worse aggressive
step father for her children. History check on person
can help her find the right husband. These
precautions can avoid trauma to children’s life, who
are already struggling to understand life with no
stability.

Page 13
3. Help families to be self sufficient and stable:
a. Interest free housing loans, so people can have roof over their
heads for their family and can have some peaceful time with
family and children. So only father have to work and mother can
take care of her young children and her house and can prepare
healthy meals and raise healthy happy family.
-Workplace stress is causing Australia around $43billion per year. And
one holiday per week per worker.
Working mothers can never give 100% both to her family and work.
And most importantly to her mental and physical health and that can
even affect the mental and physical health of her children. Putting
pressure on health system of Australia. This is again costing trillions of
dollars to economy.
b. Removal of extra overheads like registration of cars should be
after every five or ten years instead of every year, one simple
refundable insurance policy for everything.
c. Removing of unnecessary overheads, so people can be self
sufficient and can support their families with peace of mind.
d. Hoarders of wealth should be taxed heavily. Like people who
have got many properties, should share with others.
e. Rents for leasing should be set by the government as per
present financial situation of the economy. So landlords can’t
take advantage of the crisis.
f. Free funeral land, so at least we can say that this was our
country where we rest in peace without any loan or worse
funeral loan.
(Recommendation based on Islamic Juresdprection, values and
principles– Islamic law which are designed by God Almighty creator
of the universe and of Mankind. For more details read Islamic laws

Page 14
refer to Al- Quran and authentic narrations of Prophet Mohammed
(peace be upon him).
75 Years In The Making: Harvard Just Released Its
Epic Study On What Men Need To Live A Happy
Life
In Triumphs of Experience, Vaillant raises a number of factors more often than others, but the one he refers
to most often is the powerful correlation between the warmth of your relationships and your health and
happiness in your later years. In 2009, Vaillant’s insistance on the importance of this part of the data was
challenged, so Vaillant returned to the data to be sure the finding merited such important focus. Not only
did Vaillant discover that his focus on warm relationships was warranted, he placed even more importance
on this factor than he had previously. Vallant notes that the 58 men who scored highest on the
measurements of “warm relationships” (WR) earned an average of $141,000 a year more during their peak
salaries (between ages 55-60) than the 31 men who scored the lowest in WR. The high WR scorers were
also 3-times more likely to have professional success worthy of inclusion in Who’s Who.
One of the most intriguing discoveries of the Grant Study was how significant men’s relationships with their
mothers are in determining their well-being in life. For instance, Business Insider writes: “Men who had
‘warm’ childhood relationships with their mothers took home $87,000 more per year than men whose
mothers were uncaring. Men who had poor childhood relationships with their mothers were much more
likely to develop dementia when old. Late in their professional lives, the men’s boyhood relationships with
their mothers — but not their fathers — were associated with effectiveness at work. On the other hand,
warm childhood relations with fathers correlated with lower rates of adult anxiety, greater enjoyment on
vacations, and increased ‘life satisfaction’ at age 75 — whereas the warmth of childhood relationships with
mothers had no significant bearing on life satisfaction at 75.”
In Vallant’s own words, the #1 most important finding from the Grant Study is this: “The seventy-five years
and twenty million dollars expended on the Grant Study points to a straightforward five-word conclusion:
Happiness is love. Full stop.” You can purchase your own copy of Triumphs of Experience by visiting
Amazon.
Full Article:
75 Years In The Making: Harvard Just Released Its
Epic Study On What Men Need To Live A Happy
Life
by FEELguide • April 29, 2013 • Books, Health, Psychology, Science, Spirituality • Comments (0) • 624523
In 1938 Harvard University began following 268 male undergraduate students and kicked off the longest-
running longitudinal studies of human development in history. The study’s goal was to determine as best as
possible what factors contribute most strongly to human flourishing. The astonishing range of
psychological, anthropological, and physical traits — ranging from personality type to IQ to drinking habits
to family relationships to “hanging length of his scrotum” — indicates just how exhaustive and quantifiable
the research data has become. Recently, George Vaillant, who directed the study for more than three
decades, published the study’s findings in the 2012 book Triumphs of Experience (Amazon) and the
following is the book’s synopsis:

Page 15
“At a time when many people around the world are living into their tenth decade, the longest longitudinal
study of human development ever undertaken offers some welcome news for the new old age: our lives
continue to evolve in our later years, and often become more fulfilling than before. Begun in 1938, the
Grant Study of Adult Development charted the physical and emotional health of over 200 men, starting with
their undergraduate days. The now-classic ‘Adaptation to Life’ reported on the men’s lives up to age 55
and helped us understand adult maturation. Now George Vaillant follows the men into their nineties,
documenting for the first time what it is like to flourish far beyond conventional retirement. Reporting on all
aspects of male life, including relationships, politics and religion, coping strategies, and alcohol use (its
abuse being by far the greatest disruptor of health and happiness for the study’s subjects), ‘Triumphs of
Experience’ shares a number of surprising findings. For example, the people who do well in old age did not
necessarily do so well in midlife, and vice versa. While the study confirms that recovery from a lousy
childhood is possible, memories of a happy childhood are a lifelong source of strength. Marriages bring
much more contentment after age 70, and physical aging after 80 is determined less by heredity than by
habits formed prior to age 50. The credit for growing old with grace and vitality, it seems, goes more to
ourselves than to our stellar genetic makeup.”
As you can imagine, the study’s discoveries are bountiful, but the most significant finding of all is that
“Alcoholism is a disorder of great destructive power.” In fact, alcoholism is the single strongest cause of
divorce between the Grant Study men and their wives. Alcoholism was also found to be strongly coupled
with neurosis and depression (which most often follows alcohol abuse, rather than preceding it). Together
with cigarette smoking, alcoholism proves to be the #1 greatest cause of morbidity and death. And above a
certain level, intelligence doesn’t prevent the damage.
With regards to income, there was no noticeable difference in maximum income earned by men with IQs in
the 110-115 range vs. men with IQs above 150. With regards to sex lives, one of the most fascinating
discoveries is that aging liberals have way more sex. Political ideology had no bearing on overall life
satisfaction, but the most conservative men on average shut down their sex lives around age 68, while the
most liberal men had healthy sex lives well into their 80s. Vaillant writes, “I have consulted urologists
about this, they have no idea why it might be so.”
In Triumphs of Experience, Vaillant raises a number of factors more often than others, but the one he refers
to most often is the powerful correlation between the warmth of your relationships and your health and
happiness in your later years. In 2009, Vaillant’s insistance on the importance of this part of the data was
challenged, so Vaillant returned to the data to be sure the finding merited such important focus. Not only
did Vaillant discover that his focus on warm relationships was warranted, he placed even more importance
on this factor than he had previously. Vallant notes that the 58 men who scored highest on the
measurements of “warm relationships” (WR) earned an average of $141,000 a year more during their peak
salaries (between ages 55-60) than the 31 men who scored the lowest in WR. The high WR scorers were
also 3-times more likely to have professional success worthy of inclusion in Who’s Who.
One of the most intriguing discoveries of the Grant Study was how significant men’s relationships with their
mothers are in determining their well-being in life. For instance, Business Insider writes: “Men who had
‘warm’ childhood relationships with their mothers took home $87,000 more per year than men whose
mothers were uncaring. Men who had poor childhood relationships with their mothers were much more
likely to develop dementia when old. Late in their professional lives, the men’s boyhood relationships with
their mothers — but not their fathers — were associated with effectiveness at work. On the other hand,
warm childhood relations with fathers correlated with lower rates of adult anxiety, greater enjoyment on
vacations, and increased ‘life satisfaction’ at age 75 — whereas the warmth of childhood relationships with
mothers had no significant bearing on life satisfaction at 75.”
In Vallant’s own words, the #1 most important finding from the Grant Study is this: “The seventy-five years
and twenty million dollars expended on the Grant Study points to a straightforward five-word conclusion:
Happiness is love. Full stop.” You can purchase your own copy of Triumphs of Experience by visiting
Amazon.

Page 16
Recommendations:
a. Policies and actions for reducing the divorce rate.
a. If Australian government is against four marriages in Islam, they
must not allow one man having unlimited relationships? Leaving
several women as single mothers and many children without
father, without support, no care not even fundamental right to
have proper peaceful upbringing as a human child. Children
growing up in different foster cares with no stability. Worst killed
abused and molested by step parents.
b. Strict check on relationship history on a person when someone
wants to marry the person he/she is interested in. Checks like
how many relationship person already have and number of
children per relationship. Child support payment status, violence
history.
b. In case if divorce happens.
a. Proper support should be provided to the mother and
children in case divorce happens.
b. Instead of first handling the kid’s custody issue, court must
give the priority to check that mothers with children are
properly sheltered and have basic needs available. Minimum
or no disturbance to children relocation and sudden change
and several difficulties at once can have long lasting impact
on child’s mind and life. This way government don’t have to
spend on child’s future counselling and rehabilitation costs.
c. Children stays with the mother as only mother can provide
emotional, psychological and physical care to the child. After
certain age, children should have ongoing relationships with
the father as well.

Page 17
d. If parent or fathers have violence/drug/sexual abuse history,
extreme care should be taken while handling the custody
issues for the children. Children should be only allowed when
it is safe and when they can protect themselves, or
understand clearly what is bad or harmful for them (when
they become teenage etc).
e. Child development related issues will minimise when children
are getting proper attention and care from their mother.
Problems like ADHD and other psychological disorders in
children can be avoided.
f. Single mothers with young children should not be forced to
report every fortnight for work participation. Instead mothers
should be submitting their kid’s health and education records
quarterly, like child’s weight and height, IBM, school report
and progress etc. Until child reaches the age of 14years,
mother should be not force to work.
(One theory that supports environmental causes of developmental disorders
is one that involves stress in early childhood. Researcher and child
psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D, theorizes that developmental
disorders can be caused by early childhood traumatisation.[11] In his works
he compares developmental disorders in traumatized children to adults
with post-traumatic stress disorder, linking extreme environmental stress to
the cause of developmental difficulties.[11] Other stress theories suggest that
even small stresses can accumulate to result in emotional, behavioral, or
social disorders in children.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Developmental_disorder).
g. Father, if alive, is to provide staying and proper maintenance
of the mother and children until children become independent.
h. Father, should avoid getting married/relationship if he can’t
support two families or another set of children.
i. Woman can understand other woman better, if she gets
married to a man who already got children, she must see and

Page 18
make sure that man as a father must support his previous
family/children.
j. Mother should avoid getting married again immediately,
especially if she got very young children to take care of. New
marriage might disturb her attention towards these children
or she might get aggressive or unloving new husband and
worse aggressive step father for her children. She can later
when children are well taught to protect themselves and
understand what step father or mother is? Or can understand
how to interoperate things and can complain when they have
problem. This way we can avoid complexity in kids’ life and
relationships.
3. Financial Stability, Self sufficiency for all:
a. Interest free housing loans, so people can have roof over their
heads for their family and can have some peaceful time with family
and children. So only father have to work and mother can take care
of her young children and her house and can prepare healthy
meals and raise healthy happy family.
b. Removal of extra overheads like registration of cars should be after
every five years instead of every year, one simple refundable
insurance policy.
c. Policies like reduction in tax so people can be self sufficient and
can support their families with peace of mind.
d. Free funeral land, so atleast we can say that this was our country
where we rest in peace without any loan or worse funeral loan.
Sincerely,
Tahera Chaudhary
Mothers with supportive husbands can solve bullying, depression,
and many other complexes in children.

Page 19
The Mother’s lap is the first school for a child. She prepares a child
to go into the world. If a Mother is able to stay at home to look
after her young children, without the added stress of part-time or
full-time employment, she can teach her children in a great deal
that how to respect others and be good citizens. Mothers pass all
the emotions and care and soft part of the human nature through
her presence, cuddles and attention. Through her talk, through her
explanations, she becomes the best counsellor and psychologist for
a child. This guidance prepares her child to understand other
human beings, prepares their mind and uplifts their sprit. The child
truly learns what care is all about. If this is missing you are raising
a hard hearted child. And definitely in child care you will not get
the kind of attention what your mother can give.
While society is ready to acknowledge that an
imbalance in the environment leads to climate change
catastrophes, it is rarely acknowledged that an
imbalance in the role of parenting is the cause of much
chaos in the family unit which ultimately affects
societies.

Page 20
In all human cultures and civilisations, the significance and
importance of the family unit has constantly been emphasised.
Quite often, the family unit is described as the glue which binds
society together. When the family unit breaks down, the negative
implications for society are many.
When children are unable to look to positive parental role models,
aimlessness, insularity, and depression are some of the
psychological symptoms which may be exhibited.
The danger of these symptoms in young children and teenagers is
that they may manifest themselves in substance abuse and anti-
social behaviour. The cost to society is not only emotional and
psychological, but also financial, including:
Social chaos and Australian Government spending: (figures from various
sources*).
Alcohol abuse - $54 billion p.a.
Victim Compensation(domestic violence only)
-65 to 80 Billions
already spend
Incest
( Increasing at an
epidemic rate)
Child Protection and out of home care
- $2.2 billion 2008-
09
AIDS, HIV, STI and other sexual dieses.
e.g Just take Chlamydia(15 year and over 

-79,833 new
notifications in 2011
Depression (worse slow poison killing many-a
big crime) Other psychological and social
problems in children and
Government Grants
- $54 Billions
spend
Teenage drug and alcohol abuse
- $85.094 Million
2004-05
3.2% of total ACT
budget
Teenage single mothers, welfare and Social
Security
- $1 Trillion spend
Obesity direct cost - $21 billion spend

Page 21
Teenage violence and alcohol abuse on the
streets
- Millions spend
Arsenous - Billions spend
Graffiti - $100 Millions p.a.
SUICIDES
-more than 2200
suicides per year
Pressure on health system and hospital
facilities.
- Billions spend
Policemen leaving their jobs because of job
pressure
(Source:Google, ABC, The Australian, SMH, ABS )
The concerning aspect of the financial cost to society is that
Governments are prepared to spend large amounts of money on ad-
hoc solutions to the manifestations of the symptoms, but fail to
address the fundamental cause of the problem – the breakdown of
the family unit.
The fact that the importance of maintaining the family unit is
sometimes lost on Governments, and more broadly, society in
general, can lead to some irresponsible fathers believing that they
can break the family unit without any concern for their children and
without ever being questioned about the job they are leaving behind
as fathers.
Some in society expect mothers to take complete responsibility for
the upbringing of their children, while fathers who have decided to
leave the family unit are not faced with any social stigmatisation.
Mothers with little children need the support of the children’s
father so that her children can be raised properly and qualitatively.
*Mothers are the silent architects of society. They are the
indispensable builders of society, who lay the foundation of
confidence, faith, and moral values in our youth. Women are
bestowed with a distinct psychological chemistry that is needed
for motherhood and the healthy development of a family.

Page 22
When motherhood is removed from the social equation of
societies, it results in catastrophic consequences. Former
United States President, Bill Clinton, gathered an army of
former presidents, state governors, and city mayors from all
fifty states of America. Their brief was to address the most
perilous problems facing American society - 15 Million young
Americans who are considered at –risk youth. Colin Powell,
former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff states: " They are
at risk of growing up unskilled, or, even worse, unloved."
Fifteen million youth - all products of dysfunctional families.
Every year 3.4 million kids try drugs, and half a million
attempt suicide in the United States. In 1994, 1.2 million
divorces took place in the U.S. and experts predict that half of
all new marriages would end in divorce.
Thirty-eight percent of children now live without a biological
father. 6.6 million Children live with divorced single parents,
mostly mothers whose ex-husbands tend to fade away from
their children. Twenty percent of children in the United States
ages 6-12 have not had a 10-minute conversation with a parent
in a month. Their conversation is with TV, which acts as their
mother, father, baby-sitter, and teacher. By the time they are
teenagers, children have seen an estimated 18,000 violent
murders on TV. This is family life in USA. "Something is
wrong with the entire American family," writes Martin Marry,
professor at the University of Chicago. "One has the weird
sense that America is a country with many children but without
adults."(*By Adil Naved-USA)
Former Australian of the Yearand ARACY Board Chair, Professor Fiona Stanley,
AC states that "WhileAustralia'seconomicand technological progress has been
strong over recent decades, these benefits have not resulted in significant
improvementsto the health and wellbeingof the nation'syoung people"
AUSTRALIA'S prosperity is masking an unpalatabletruth - the health and wellbeing
of our children lag unacceptablybehind those of manydeveloped countries.

Page 23
MENTAL health services for young people with psychosis are in a 'state
of emergency' and deliver poor and inappropriatecare, causing delays
and even costing lives.
16/10 05:28,SydneyMorning Herald
There could be an 'epidemic of stillbirths' in Australia in the next few
years if the nation'sobesity rate continues to soar and more women
aged over 35 have children, researchers havefound.
The gap between rich and poor hasgrown in most developed
countries over the past20 years, leading to an increase in child
poverty, an organisation of 30 leading economies says.
While society is ready to acknowledge that an imbalance in the
environment leads to climate change catastrophes, it is rarely
acknowledged that an imbalance in the role of parenting is the
cause of much chaos in the family unit which ultimately affects
societies.
Mothers with committed and caring husbands can solve many
problems related to depression, anxiety, and anti-social behaviour
in young children and teenagers.
Many single Mothers around the world have to struggle between
commitments to work and family. Rather than being acknowledged
for their great contribution to the human race as Mothers, women,
especially single Mothers, need to work both as a father and as a
mother and a bread winner which is worse than working as a
bonded labourer. This constant juggling act, with little or no
support from a husband who has abandoned the family leads to
chaos in the family unit and human society.

Page 24
Being a Mother is one of the noblest contributions that a woman
can make to civilisation. The importance of nurturing young
children at home has unfortunately turned into a commodity with
single Mothers being forced to go to work and send their children to
child care facilities. Having Mothers stay at home has many societal
benefits (at least until they finish their primary schooling):
Mothers at home solves the problem of unemployment:
Being at home she is creating more job opportunities for the men so
they can have stable jobs and be responsible for their role as a husband
and as a father.
Mothers at home reduces carbon pollution and traffic jams:
Mothers can grow their own veggie gardens which can produce
oxygen and less consumption of canned food. (See the video of : story of
stuff by Anne Leonard, on YouTube link:http://youtu.be/gLBE5QAYXp8. or visit
www.storyofstuff.com)
It proves that how we are running out of our natural resources, and
polluting our environment. And on top of everything we are living a life
of stress and frustration. We are playing a role of a consumer rather than
a mother, a father, a farmer or a teacher.
Mothers at home reduces the burden on hospitals crisis: Healthy
children from happy families don’t need hospitals, saving millions or
billions of dollars.
Mothers at home lifts the burden from various and many
counselling organization run by the government:
Mothers at home can assist with solving problems related to teenage
girls and boys: It reduces or solve the cases of incest by the close
family members and other sexual abuse. If children can get good care
and attention and loving upbringing at home they will not wandered
around on the streets or destroying public properties.

Page 25
The former Coalition Government, led by John Howard, changed
the law for work participation of single mothers. The law was
amended so that once the youngest child of a single mother turned
6, the single mother was compelled to look for employment. The law
previously allowed mothers to stay at home until the youngest child
turned 14. When single Mothers, who are already working hard,
are forced to go to work and neglect looking after their children, the
financial cost to society will be greater in terms of health spending
on children who are not being cared for properly.
Politician/one man’s decision can affect the whole nation especially
its impact on children and future.
When divorce happens and these
mothers become single mothers
then many social and psychological
problems take hold.
Children and ladies from these relationships are suffering. No
proper practical laws of safety for these single mothers and
children. And life gets closer to death and you are not even out of
your daily problems and children grow up with low self esteem and
as disheartened and confused as one can be. As a result mothers
and children are suffering.
In Islam if you can’t do JUSTICE you can marry only once and if
you can do justice, JUSTICE which means that if you have respect
for women, you have sense of commitment, if you can provide, and
support, and care equally, then you are allowed to marry two or up

Page 26
to four. And there is a limit but in relationships no limits, no
commitment. In Islam rights always comes with limits.
“ Respect the womb that bore you for nine months and ……..
In Islâm, motherhood is a sacred and sacrosanct vocation,
"Paradise lies under the feet of your mother"- Prophet of
Islam Mohammed(MayAllah’s peace and mercy be upon
him)
are the glowing terms with which Prophet
Mohammed, described a mother's status. Motherhood is not a
thankless mundane activity, rather it is a spiritual journey,
wherein every bit of sacrifice will be acknowledged and
rewarded. The Holy Qur'ân states: "If any do deeds of
righteousness, be it male or female - and have faith, they will
enter paradise and not the least injustice will be done to
them.”
By – Mr. ADIL NAVEED (USA)
Ms. TAHERA CHAUDHARY (AUSTRALIA)

Mothers - The silent architects of society, When mothers are not supported society falters.

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