2. 1 Tell her that you have a good feeling because your first date is on the luckiest day ever. Tell her that you feel like you're going to get lucky tonight.

3. 2 Go to your favorite casino and get really lucky playing roulette. Sell your house, car, clothes and all other earthly possessions, go to a casino and put it all on Black.

4. 3 Quote Dirty Harry by saying "Do you feel lucky, punk?" to the slot machine you're playing, hoping it will bring you money. Quote Dirty Harry while pointing a gun at the bank cashier, hoping he will bring you money.

5. 4 Tell the cop who pulled you over that if he gives you a break on this special day he'll be a lucky guy. On second thought… don't.

6. 5 Tell your girlfriend you like playing slots once in a while. Tell your girlfriend you like playing with sluts once in a while.

7. 6 Tell your date that you want to get to know her from top to bottom. Ask her as you walk her home: "So do you prefer top or bottom?"

8. 7 Get married. Get married.

9. (c) 2007