Writing for Digital Feb 2016 compiled by Tom Ahern

1/31/16

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 1
Writing for Digital
Web, Mobile, Facebook, Email
compiled by Tom Ahern for
THERE’S NO
EASY MONEY
There’s got to be a
magic bullet around here
someplace!
1439:
Gutenberg
invents
modern
prin8ng

1995:
the
age
of
the
modern
Internet
begins

2003:
MySpace
drives
1st
social
media
surge

2007:
Apple
introduces
the
iPhone

2015:
1.2
billion
ac8ve
Facebook
users
monthly

1/31/16

2

PRINT

Words

Pictures

Asks,
other
offers

Headlines
rule

Easy
to
fail

Frequency
is
expensive

Targe8ng
varies

ROI
will
vary

DIGITAL

Words

Pictures
(+
sound,
movement)

Asks,
other
offers

Headlines
&
subject
lines
rule

Easy
to
fail

Frequency
is
less
expensive

Targe8ng
can
be
ultra-‐precise

ROI
will
vary

Denise
Cohn,
DOGS
DESERVE
BETTER
(remember
Michael
Vick?)

“Our
last
big
Facebook
post
brought
in
$15K
in
6
days.”

1)
Every
Facebook
page
should
have
a
DONATE
NOW
bugon.
It's
easy
to
do,
takes
two

minutes.
If
they
don't
have
a
Paypal
account
(or
something
similar),
open
one!

2)
Every
Facebook
post
should
have
a
line
on
the
bogom
which
states
something
like:
"if
you

would
like
to
help
more
dogs/kids/whatever
like
[name],
click
here
to
donate
now.”

3)
Every
Paypal
donate
link
should
be
set
up
to
include
the
ability
to
make
it
a
recurring

dona8on
(monthly).
Again,
it
takes
two
minutes
to
set
up.

4)
Post
o&en.
Every
two
hours.
If
you
have
a
large
following
(we
have
over
a
million),
posts

only
reach
7-‐11%
of
the
audience.
The
majority
of
people
who
are
on
Facebook
don't
go
to

individual
pages:
less
than
6%
do.
They
watch
their
newsfeed.
Duplicates
are
irrelevant
in

newsfeeds.

5)
All
posts
should
be
simple,
easy
to
read,
and
not
a
lot
of
text.
No
one
reads
them.
A
good

photo,
3
lines
of
text
-‐
that's
it.

ROI

•  For
a
major
gins
officer,
first
year
on
the
job:
“the

organiza8on
[should]
receive
$3
or
$4
for
every

dollar
the
organiza8on
spends
on
you
and
your

work.”
Richard
Perry
and
Jeff
Schreifels,
Veritus

Group.
“For
programs
in
their
second
and
third

year,”
the
ROI
should
be
four
or
five
to
one,
“and

up
to
six
and
higher
for
older
major
gin
pro-‐
grams....
We
have
clients
with
returns
of
from
1:6

to
as
high
as
1:20.”

•  So...what’s
the
ROI
for
a
social
media
specialist?

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Core books
Free subscription
TRUE!
$300-400K donated monthly
to a small animal welfare
charity in Bangkok ...
through Facebook alone!!!
From whom? Goodbye, privacy. Hello, global fundraising.
If you’re a frequent user,
Facebook knows more
about you & yr interests
& yr vulnerabilities than
your oldest, safest, best
friend.

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 10
Source: Pareto, 2015
Tom Ahern | © 2016 11
BUT!
Costs $50K monthly in paid
FB posts and ads to raise
that $300-400K monthly at
Soi Dog. ROI: 1:6 to 1:8.
Tom Ahern | © 2016 12
How you make money from Facebook...
It’s complicated.
It’s not cheap.
It isn’t for every cause.
And you need to know
how to write an ad.

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 13
Source: Sean Triner, Pareto, 2015
SECRET #1 REQUIRES A
SPECIAL KIND OF
WRITING
Tom Ahern | © 2016 14
4 elements of a good offer
The problem is easy to understand.
The solution is easy to understand.
The cost is a good deal.
There’s urgency to solve the problem now.
The story is not the offer. The story supports the offer.
Steven Screen, Nonprofit Storytelling Conference, November 2015
Tom Ahern | © 2016 15

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 16
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19
2. You then make
frequent offers to these
people (your “base”) via
email, mail, phone and
Facebook posts. You
give people lots of
opportunities to do all
sorts of things, some of
which cost them
nothing. Some offers,
though, are asks.
3. From the base you’ve cultivated,
a rare, cherished, few people
become repeat financial donors,
committed to the cause. Fewer than
1% do this commonly, but results
vary widely.
1. You attract new folks onto your database, via petitions, invitations, Facebook
and other social media ... plus an easy sign-up mechanism for your e-newsletter.
Image source: Merriam-Webster
Tom Ahern | © 2016
Tom Ahern | © 2016 20
How Soi Dog makes money from Facebook...
Tom Ahern | © 2016 21
How Soi Dog makes money from Facebook...
NON-MONEY OFFER
A$K
NON-MONEY OFFER
A$K A$K

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Elements of charity ad success, including Facebook
Tom Ahern | © 2016 22
Give me an
important job to do.
Supporters are key members of the team, the
mission, the vision, the delivery of service....
23Tom Ahern | © 2016
Tom Ahern | © 2016 24
Source: Pareto, Sept. 2015

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 25
Tom Ahern | © 2016 26
Be lushly grateful.

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 28
Give me something
easy to do next.
Tom Ahern | © 2016 30

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Expectations
Tom Ahern | © 2016 31
2%Online giving in 2013, as a percentage of the whole.
Tom Ahern | © 2016 32
Source: Chronicle of Philanthropy, 2014
Tom Ahern | © 2016 33
“For every 1,000
fundraising messages
delivered to
supporters, groups in
our study raised $40.”
New metrics for a new channel.

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 34
“...every 1,000 advocacy
messages delivered to
supporters...generated 29
actions. That number skews
higher if you happen to be an
Environmental
organization...”
Tom Ahern | © 2016 35
“...groups in our study raised
$612 for every 1,000 website
visitors they welcomed. On
average, 7.6 [below 1%] of
those thousand visitors
became donors.”
Tom Ahern | © 2016 36
Writing in a digital age?
Write way MORE often.

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The first gift you ask
for is my attention.
The average attention span
of an adult human in 2013
was 8 seconds.
We’re #1!
You’re
a
hero.
Here’s
why.

One charity’s “best” subject line

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•  Subject lines the last week of December 2015
Three Days Left to Give! [Midwest High Speed Rail Assoc.]
Got New Year's Resolutions? [The Life You Can Save]
It's the end of the year, but a new beginning for . . . [Shearim High School for Girls, Phoenix, AZ]
Double Your Gift for Justice and Equality [National Center for Lesbian Rights]
There's Still Time for Year-End Giving [Fairfield County's Community Foundation]
Strengthen your community with your year-end gift! [RI Council on the Humanities]
Did this ever happen to you? [me]
Thursday's the deadline [Urban Ministries of Durham]
The inseparable twin of racial injustice [United for a Fair Economy]
Have you seen this, Tom? [Heifer International]
Your gifts make magic [Puente de la Costa Sur, rural San Mateo County South Coast; fosters "economic
prosperity...local leaders...creating solutions for our diverse communities."]
Tom, watch for the City of Hope float at this year's Rose Parade! [City of Hope]
ARL's Top 7 Animal Rescues of 2015! [Animal Rescue League of Boston]
I need you to stand with me, Tom [Elizabeth Warren for the DSCC]
There's Still Time to Make a Difference [Literacy Action of Central Arkansas]
Dear Friend, how will you spend the last few hours of the year? [Children's Hospital Foundation of Manitoba]
Less than 48 Hours to Go [The Wilderness Society]
Give clean water one last time this year [charity: water]
We can't bear the suspense ... [National Parks Conservation Association]
48 Hours Left to Help Animals in 2016! [Animal Rescue League of Boston]
12 grapes of luck and a Happy New Year [PUENTE]
If you read one e-mail today, make it this one [PETA]
Tom Ahern | © 2016 40
President Obama’s Top 15 Moneymaking Subject Lines
($690 million raised)
1. I am just so happy
2. I want to do this again
3. My uncle Teddy
4. This isn’t already illegal?
5. My place, June 14th
6. Karl Rove sent you a message
7. Hey
8. Me again
9. Saturday night
10. Up late
11. I love you back
12. Hell yeah, I like Obamacare
13. I tried.
14. Wow
15. Clutch
Tom Ahern | © 2016 41
Tom Ahern | © 2016 42
It’s not about reading. It’s
about getting people to act.

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 43
The purpose of email is
to drive people to your
website. Brief emails are
just fine, thank you.
44
One interesting
photo...
Micro-story: the
conflict....
Micro-story: the
happy ending....
Something to click
on....
Tom Ahern | © 2016
45
“...the minimal email
copy resulted in a 6.5%
click through rate.
Average is 2-4% so
definitely had a positive
effect.” Andrew G, 3/5/15
Tom Ahern | © 2016

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“Normal”
click-‐through
rates
(CTRs)

Silverpop
(IBM),
in
a
2013
Email
Marke8ng
Metrics

Benchmark
Study,
reported
a
nonproﬁt
industry
CTR

median
of
1.7%,
with
top
performers
achieving
a
CTR

median
near
5%.

Source: Pareto 2015
Source: Pareto 2015

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 49
DO THEY READ ON A WEBSITE?
“What [web visitors] actually do
… is glance at each new page,
scan some of the text, and click
on the first link that catches
their interest or vaguely
resembles the thing they’re
looking for. [The] user’s reality
is much closer to ‘billboard
going by at 60 miles an hour.’”
CLICK CLICK CLICK
CLICK
CLICK CLICK CLICKCLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK
CLICK
CLICK CLICKCLICK
CLICK CLICK
Tom Ahern | © 2016 51
Six “focusing” guidelines
• Give people only what they need.
• Cut! Cut! Cut! And cut again!
• Start with the key point. Write in inverted
pyramid style. (See Wikipedia.)
• Break down walls of words.
• Give useful information. What did they
come to the site looking for?
• Layer information. Give them a little on
the home page, then link to a page where
they can “read more.”

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 52
Put the important stuff first.
Anchoring.Leah Eustace told us about it
Source: Leah Eustace
Tom Ahern | © 2016 53
Source: Leah Eustace
Tom Ahern | © 2016 54

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 55
The important stuff will NOT be
details about your programs.
That’s crap.
Anchoring.Leah Eustace told us about it
Can you spell happy with
four letters?
Tom Ahern | © 2016 56
Donor goes first
Tom Ahern | © 2016 57

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 58
Tom Ahern | © 2016 59
Countless children’s lives across the globe have been positively impacted via the
work of The Harms Study Group and Setting Scoliosis Straight, and none of the
work we do would be possible without the support of like-minded and like-hearted
individuals who want to give every child the chance to grow up happy and healthy.
grade: 12 / reading ease: 19
None of the work we do would be possible without people like you ... people who
want every child to grow up happy and healthy. Thank you! Countless children’s
lives across the globe have been positively impacted because you helped support
The Harms Study Group and Setting Scoliosis Straight.
grade: 8 / reading ease: 64
Tom Ahern | © 2016 60

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“Did we deliver
the Gift of Joy
within seconds?”
Tom Ahern | © 2016 61
Tom Ahern | © 2016 62
The gift of joy
The gift of joy

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64
Someday I’ll
thank you, too.
Tom Ahern | © 2016
Thank you, beloved
donors, for saving my
baby! It’s going to be
all right now.
I pay attention to what
interests me.
And what interests me
most is me. Ask anyone.
Tom Ahern | © 2016 65
Social media?
Helps create a
“family of purpose”
Tom Ahern | © 2016 66

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Tom Ahern | © 2016 68
Don’t ask people to “donate”.
Instead, ask them to “join”,
“build”, etc. Appeal to identity
and emotion, not wallets.
Tom Ahern | © 2016 69
Source: John Haydon

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“Synthe8c
family”

70
Source:
Russell
James
III,
2014

Tom Ahern | © 2016
Tom Ahern | © 2016 71
“Create an enemy.”
Us [the tribe] vs. them [the enemy]. Seth
Godin: “...build a tribe, [people] who want
to hear from [you] because it helps them
connect, it helps them find each other, it
gives them a story to tell and something to
talk about....”
Orbis | © 2016 Tom Ahern 72

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vision
enemy
hero
served
Source: Stephen Pidgeon and Tangible
73
“Me?”
Orbis | © 2016 Tom Ahern
Every 15 minutes someone in the
UK begins to lose their sight.
Today, with your help, we can
give them the practical support
needed to rebuild their shattered
lives.
Source: Stephen Pidgeon and Tangible
Vision
Hero
EnemyServed
hero defeats enemy
75Orbis | © 2016 Tom Ahern

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76
donors make sad
happy
“What’s our good
fight?”

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The Donor Journey:
“They feel the impact.”
SOAZ AFP © 2016 Tom Ahern 79
Tom Ahern | © 2016 80
THE DONOR’S
JOURNEY BEGINS HERE
TENSION SELLS
Source:
Instagram

AFTER
BEFORE

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THIS IS IMPACT: THE STORY TOLD HERE
THIS IS THE FACE
OF IMPACT
Tom Ahern | © 2016 83
“...our online donations
doubled this year!”
WHY do you think?
84
You’re in my home and head:
“Why are you here?”
Are you a bad guest or good?
Tom Ahern | © 2016

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To make ME
feel good!!!
Important!
Wanted!
Needed!
Proud of myself!
Happy!
Pleased!
Entertained!Surprised!
Tom Ahern | © 2016 86
You don’t “deserve” my
money. I anoint you with
my gift. Now anoint me
back.
Source: Newbie Fundraising for Dummies, 2016
87
Donor-NEGLIGENT:
“We did this. We did
that. We were amazing.
Oh, by the way, thanks.”
Orbis
|
©
2016
Tom
Ahern

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30

89
Donor-CENTRIC:
“With your help, all
these amazing things
happened. And without
your help, they won’t.”
Orbis
|
©
2016
Tom
Ahern

From you....
They want to feel good.
They want to feel loved.
They want to feel smart.
They want to feel needed.
They want to feel important.
They want to belong.
They want to see their values in action.
They want to win!
90

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Corporate communications are about
how great the organization is. Favorite
pronoun:
we
Donor communications are about how
great the donor is. Favorite pronoun:
you

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“Show the problem. Don’t
show the solution. Make
the donor the solution.”
~ Steven Screen, Nov. 2015
Thanks to you
and other generous donors like you,
we were able to turn...

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Cool Hand Luke (1967) | #11 of AFI’s Top 100 Movie Quotes
Greenpeace,
founded
in
the
US,
1971.
Current
US
“members”:

250,000;
2.8
million
worldwide.
“Members”
=
money.

John Haydon’s
ULTIMATE
donation page
checklist
Tom Ahern | © 2016 102

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Features a compelling story
Clear call to action
Sense of urgency
Images show the impact
No jargon
Offers suggested amounts
No distracting sidebar
No competing calls to action
Donate button in contrasting color
Includes phone number
John Haydon
Tom Ahern | © 2016 103
104Tom
Ahern
|
©
2016

105Tom
Ahern
|
©
2016

Writing for Digital Feb 2016 compiled by Tom Ahern

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