Online Social Shopping Motivation: A Preliminary Study
Spandane letters
1. S
Sp
pa
an
nd
da
an
ne
e –
– T
Th
he
e L
La
as
st
t L
Le
ec
ct
tu
ur
re
e
S
Sp
pa
an
nd
da
an
ne
e -
- M
My
y L
Le
et
tt
te
er
rs
s
M
Mr
r.
. S
Su
ud
dh
hi
ir
r V
Va
ai
id
dy
ya
a.
.
2. Spandane – The Last Lecture
Index – Spandane - My Letters
Sr.
No.
Letter addressed to Category Letter dated Pages
00 Preface 2
01 Aayush - Birthday wishes Counselling 10-06-2010 1
02 Aayush - Birthday wishes Counselling 10-06-2011 3
03 Aayush - Birthday wishes Counselling 10-06-2014 4
04 Abhay Pandit Condolence 14-10-2016 1
05 Arjanbhai Retirement wishes 24-10-2015 1
06 Aryan – Birthday wishes Counselling 07-09-2014 4
07 Ashutosh Joshi Condolence 07-01-2009 1
08 Assistants Counselling 15-05-1999 1
09 Bhushan Condolence 14-12-2001 1
10 Carvello Condolence &
Counselling
03-02-2000 2
11 Dada – My Father (expired) Personal 19-06-2016 1
12 Dada - My Father (expired) Personal 21-08-2019 3
13 Dada - My Father (expired) Personal 31-12-2009 1
14 GM -DGM Good bye 28-04-2011 3
15 God Personal 07-06-2017 2
16 God Personal 31-12-2010 2
17 Harshada Condolence 26-01-2019 1
18 Jayant Vaidya Condolence 27-10-2010 3
19 K B Jorapur Condolence 04-04-2015 1
20 Kelkar Personal 22-11-2016 2
21 Keshav Paranjape Condolence 05-07-2008 1
22 Kirti Counselling 05-06-2007 3
23 Kokane brothers Condolence 26-05-2011 1
24 Mahendra Vaze Condolence 11-10-2020 1
4. Preface to Spandane - My Letters
I have already mentioned in the chapter ‘My Family’ that I do not intent to include elaborate
account of my Family Life in the Autobiography. Readers would get information about my
family members such as spouse, son, daughter-in-law, daughter, son-in-law etc. in various
letters included in this book and some of the Articles written in autobiography.
Letter writing is my favourite hobby / topic since school days. Not because it was a scoring
topic, but I really enjoyed it. During college, once again I enjoyed the topic titled
’Commercial Correspondence’.
Eventually I became a Chartered Accountant. I served in the Industry for 10 years and
ventured into Practice. I became the leading Insurance Surveyor. Thus I had the ample
opportunity to shoot out letters of different varieties. However you may be surprised to note
that I had cultivated the habit of sending personal letters to friends, family members and
even to my spouse inspite of my busy schedule and at times to GOD, my father (after his
death) I have also written letters to my grand sons in their very young age, describing their
traits, for the perusal and action by their parents.
Letter writing is a powerful medium of expression of your thoughts. Now communication is
bit easy with SMS, Email, Internet, WA chat etc. I must have sent hundreds of personal letters
and thousands of official letters in my Life.
I had developed official correspondence on various topics for ready reference during my
occupational career. I still remember one phrase included in one of the Recovery Letter
namely ‘our patience is wearing thin.’ It actually created a wave with our customers. It is
needless to say that overdue amount was recovered from customers and their payment
pattern showed marked improvement.
It was a tough time to select few letters for inclusion in this book. With a great difficulty, I
could lay hands on few letters which are though personal would enable readers to get insight
in to My Family Life, My ideologies, display of Managerial Skills in sorting family problems,
counselling skill etc. I have added the notes below most of the letters for better
5. 2
understanding and insight of the contents.
These letters can be classified in various categories such as medical counselling, Thanks
giving, condolence letters, family life, marriage counselling, and dialogue with GOD & Father,
dialogue with grandsons, letter to client etc.
I am sure that readers will not only enjoy the letters but it will also assist them to widen their
Life horizon.
Sudhir Vaidya
15-05-2011
6. “Shree”
Chi. Aayush la aneka ashirwad.
Happy Birthday. Many Happy returns of the day. Mottha Ho!!!
Today is your 1st birthday and I doubt as to whether any Aajoba might have thought of writing a
letter to his grandson on 1st birthday. I have told your Papa to preserve all these letters and hand
it over to you when you become ‘BIG’.
You may not aware that few months prior to your birth; we were in tension. But your birth
provided the great sigh of relief to all of us. My birth way back in 1951 had created tensions in
my family but our tension got vanished after your birth.
Aayush, you are indeed lucky to get Deepak as your Dad. You would get every opportunity in
LIFE to prosper. I am sure that under the able guidance from your Dad, you would complete
higher education but please remember that you should also become a ‘good citizen of the
country’ in the process.
Today I am happy for one more reason that I had completed the draft of my new book on M I S.
(12th booklet). I had set the target of completing the same by your 1st birthday and I have
achieved it. In a way I have been playing childhood game of ‘Tikkar –Billa’ (Toss a coin and get it
- Setting targets in all spheres of Life and achieving it) all through my life. I have virtually
become the ‘Human Robot’ in the process.
By the time you read & understand my 1st letter, I may not be around and it is quite likely that
you ‘may’ be interested in knowing me as a ‘person.’ Hence I have decided to write my
‘Last Lecture’ which would enable you to understand me and my ‘generation’. It is an attempt to
bridge the ‘generation gap’. You may also get the glimpse of me in my website
www.spandane.com.
Instead of giving cash present to you on the occasion of your 1st birthday, I donated Rs.2,500/- to
one of the Educational Trust and prayed to GOD for your well being.
You may be surprised that I have taken 375 photographs of you and recorded 71 videos in last
one year. All your snaps and videos have been saved in my computer and I am sure that you
may also be interested to see your childhood photographs when you grow up. I have created this
treasure for you.
God bless you.
Aajoba !!!!!????
10-06-2010
7. “Shree”
Chi. Aayush la aneka ashirwad.
Happy Birthday. Many Happy Returns of the day. Mottha Ho!!!
Today is your 2nd birthday. Last year also, I had written you a letter. I am once again
requesting your Papa to preserve all these letters and hand it over to you when you
become ‘BIG’.
Last few days, I have been telling you to speak atleast five words namely Papa,
Mummy, Aaba, Aaji & dada. Jokingly I have threatened you that unless you learn to
speck these five words, we will not celebrate your birthday.
I would like to share one thought on your birthday. I would quote two thoughts, one
for your 1st birthday & one for your 2 nd birthday. I am aware that it is difficult to
digest, understand and implement these thoughts but you should always try.
1) Silence & Smile are two powerful tools. Smile is the way to solve many problems &
Silence is the way to avoid many problems.
2) It takes around two years to learn to speak…but it takes LIFE Time to learn “what
not to speak, how & when to speak etc. etc.
Last year i.e. 10-06-2010 to 10-06-2011 vanished very fast. You have grown big by one
year. Now let me share with some of the highlights of the last year.
1.0) We celebrated your 1st birthday at Dahisar residence. Your Aatya (Devyani) had
come with her kids namely Aryan & Neil. She had brought nice birthday cake. Aaji was
also present. I do not attend any functions but your mom desperately requested me to
attend the birthday party. Your Mom & Papa had fought (as usual) on some trifle issue.
I attended the function mainly to bring about reconciliation between them. (I have been
doing this on a regular basis over last few years.) I took few photographs on the said
occasion.
2.0) Your Kush Dada was sent to Raigad Military School soon after your birthday.
3.0) I wrote in last letter that by the time you read & understand, I may not be around
8. 2
and it is quite likely that you ‘may’ be interested in knowing me as a ‘person.’ Hence
I decided to write my ‘Last Lecture’ which would enable you to understand me and my
‘Generation’. I am happy that as promised, I have written my Autobiography titled
Spandane – The Last Lecture. It runs into approx. 400 pages. I can not visualize /
imagine your reaction. By the time you read & understand it, I may not / should not
be around. Let me share some thoughts on my exit from this world. I have been
requesting GOD for over 25 years to lift me on the occasion of my 60th birthday.
(i.e. 15-05-2011) but God has not obliged me with the request. But I will continue with
my prayer because I know that in the confrontation between the Stream & the Rock,
The Stream always wins …. Not through Strength, but through Persistence. I have
already written Open Letter to God to share thoughts on my exit.
4.0) Your health never posed any major threat during the year. However you sustained
head injury due to your Papa on Saturday, 13-11-2011. Your papa was upset with your
naughtiness and literally threw you on back seat of the car. You sustained head injury
and required few stitches on your forehead. It caused panic situation for all of us. Aaji
and I rushed to Dahisar. The reason behind the entire episode was once again rift
between your Mom & Papa. I have taken few snaps to record the event. I scolded your
Papa & Mummy for such ongoing rifts time & again. The main reason of accident was
irrational action by your Papa in his angry mood. You will have to control your Anger.
5.0) Now let me say few words on your personal traits discovered during the year:
5.1) You easily get angry on any matter happening against your mood. The Anger trait
has been inherited by you from your Papa & Mom.
5.2) Acting talent (slightly bending the head while talking, sparkle in eyes etc.) has been
inherited from your Mom.
5.3) Stubbornness, hyper activity match with your Kush Dada. Again inherited from
parents.
5.4) You are good at making observations of things happening around you. In other
words, you are good at ‘copying’ but unless you know where & when to ‘paste’, you
will become a laughing stock.
9. 3
5.5) You have innocent smile on your face. SMILE: - ‘S’ets u free, ‘M’akes u special,
‘I’ncreases your energy, ‘L’ifts your spirit, ‘E’rases all your tensions. So keep Smiling.
Preserve that smile.
6.0) On Wednesday, 01-06-2011, your Papa had serious road accident while going to
Office. He was badly injured. The other person was more seriously injured and was
hospitalized. After completing all formalities he was released on bail at 2100 hrs.
We hope that now atleast he will learn out of mistake. (He has already made many
mistakes and yet to learn. But nothing wrong in expecting.)
From June 2011, admission has been secured in Play group for you.
I have taken over 250 photographs of you and recorded over 75 videos in last one year.
All your snaps and videos have been saved in my computer and I am sure that you may
also be interested to see your childhood photographs when you grow up. I have created
this treasure for you.
God bless you.
Aajoba !!!!!????
10-06-2011
10. िच. आयुषला अनेक आशीवाद आ ण वाढ दवसा या खूप खूप शुभे छा.
तुला आठवत असेल क तु या प ह या (१०-०६-२०१०) व दसढया
ु (१०-०६-२०११) वाढ दवसाला मी तुला पऽ िल हले
होते. ती पऽे तू वाचली असशीलच. पुढ ल तीन वष मी पऽ िल हले नाह . तू थोडा मोठा हो याची मी वाट बघत होतो.
गे या तीन वषातील तुझी वाटचाल व य म व वकास बघून ावष मी पऽ िल ह याचे ठर वले.
दसढया
ु वाढ दवसाला (१०-०६-२०११) िल हले या पऽात तु या ःवभावातील गुण दोष मी श दां कत क
े ले होते. तसेच
एक quotation दले होते . (It takes around 2 years 2 learn 2 speak…but it takes LIFE Time 2 learn
“what not 2 speak, how & when 2 speak etc. etc.)
२१ मे २०१४ रोजी क त या पाठ वर श बया कर यात आली. यावेळ ८ दवस तू आम याकडे योगानंदम ये
आनंदाने रहायला आला होतास. यामुळेच तुझा य म व वकास नेमका कसा झाला आहे ावर मी आता
ठामपणे सांगू शकतो. लहान असताना बरेच वेळा तू योगानंद म ये रा हला होतास, पण मोठा झा यानंतर तु या
पपाला सोडन
ू तू दसर कडे
ु रहायचे धाडस क
े ले न हतेस.
ूथम तु या चांग या गुणांब ल बोलतो.
१) तुझी ःमरण श चांगली आहे.
२) आवड या खेळात तू खूप रमतोस, पण तुला ूो साहन दे यास कोणीतर लागतो. काह वेळ तो खेळ
खेळ यानंतर तुला या खेळाचा क
ं टाळा येतो.
३) तु या चेहढयावर ल हसू, मोठे मोठे डोळे आ ण गालावर ल खळ बघून तू चटकन कोणालाह आपलेसे करतोस .
पण ÉÉÉÉ
४) तु या मनाचा एक कोपरा हळवा आहे, याचे दशन मला नुकतेच घडले.
५) ःवत: या सामानाची bag carry करायला तुला फार आवडते. चांगली सवय आहे. आपण श यतो कोणावर
आपले ओझे टाक
ू नये.
दोन श द तु या हळवेपणाब ल आ ण मा या बालपणाब ल:
तुला क त या श बयेची मा हती होती. क त बरेच दवस हॉ ःपटलम ये राहणार आहे यामुळे तू योगानंदला
रहायला आलास. एक दवस अचानक तू गंभीर झालास आ ण आजीला वचारलेस क माझी म मी मेलेय का?
आजीने तुला म मीचा फोटो दाख व यानंतर तुझे समाधान झाले. दोन दवसांनी सकाळ ८ वाजता उठताना तू
उशी म ये त ड खुपसून रडत होतास. तुझे डोळे बंद होते. मी तुला उठवला आ ण वचारले क तू का रडत होतास ? तू
काह च सांगू शकला नाह स.
ा ूसंगानंतर माझे मन भूतकाळात गेले आ ण माझे बालपण आठवले. यावेळ मी तु याहन
ू ६-८ म ह यांनी
मोठा असेन. (१९५७) आ ह सव भावंडे पु याला काकांकडे राहत होतो. कारण मा या दादांना TB झाला होता आ ण
यामुळे ते तळेगाव या हॉ ःपटल म ये उपचार घेत होते. एक दवस मो या माणसां या दब या आवाजातील
बोलणे मला ऐक
ू आले . माझे दादा जर बरे झाले तर फार वष जगणार नाह त. हे ऐक यानंतर मा या पायाखालची
11. जमीनच सरकली. मा या चेहढयावर ल हसू मावळले.
मी एकलक डा झालो, मला नेमक
े काय होते आहे हे मी सांगू शकत न हतो आ ण लोकांना ते समजत न हते. मला
अंधार आवडू लागला. मी अंधाढया जागी लपून बसू लागलो. मला आजह अंधार खूप आवडतो. अंधारात मी
ःवत:शी संवाद साधतो, माझा भूतकाळ आठवतो, दादांबरोबराचे सोनेर दवस मनात गोळा करतो, मला यांनी
ऽास दला यांचे ःमरण करतो ( यां या मुळे माझी जग याची उम कायम राहते) कालांतराने दादा बरे झाले. मी
यांची खूप सेवा क
े ली. पण शेवट यां या वया या ५८ या वष १९६९ साली ते देवाघर गेले. (हे िल हताना माझे
डोळे कधी पाणावले हे मला कळलेच नाह .) आजह ४५ वषानंतर यांची आठवण मा या मनात ताजी आहे. असो .
आता तु या न आवडणाढया - वाईट पैलू संदभात िल हतो. कदािचत काळा या ओघात (हे पऽ तू वाचत असताना )
हे दगुण
ु मावळेल असतील तर मला आनंदच होईल. अथात तो आनंद य कर यास मी न क हयात नसेन.
१) तुझे जेवणात ल नसते. जेवताना पाणी खूप पतोस व यामुळे तुला जेवण जात नाह . तसेच जेवताना तू खूप
बोलतोस आ ण यामुळे तुझे जेवणात ल नसते. यामुळे तुला सारखा 'खाऊ ' हवा असतो. योगानंद म ये तुला
समजावून सांिगत यानंतर तुझी ह सवय बदलली होती.
२) कतीह वेळ TV बघूनह तुझे पोट भरत नाह . यामुळे २ तासांनी TV बंद क
े ला तर तुझी ब बाब ब चालू होते.
मनाचे समाधान आ ण कोठे थांबावे ाचे ान हे सुखी हो यासाठ आवँयक असते, ाची जाणीव तुला हे पऽ
वाचताना झाली असेल तर मला आनंदच होईल.
३) तू मनःवी आहेत. ू येक गो ी तुला िमळालीच पा हजे असा तुझा ह ट असतो. खरेतर इतर मुलांपे ा तुला खूप
काह जाःत िमळते, पण लहान वयामुळे तुला ा गो ीचे भान नसते.
४) तू इतर मुलां या मानाने थोडा उिशरा बोलायला लागलास. पण आता तू ए हड बडबड करतोस क दसढयाला
ु
क
ं टाळा येतो. अथात हा गुण तू कत कडन
ू घेतला आहेस ात शंका नाह . कारण तुझा पपा खूप अबोल आहे.
५) मु य समःया ह आहे क आपण नेमक
े काय बोलतोय, कोणाशी बोलतोय ाचे तुला भान नसते. तु मला
दले या िश या आ ण आजीशी बोलताना तोडलेले अकलेच अस य तारे, ा पऽात नमूद कर यास माझी लेखणी
तयार नाह . हा वारसासु ा तुला क त कडन
ू िमळाला आहे. गेली ७ वष मी क त ला हेच समजावत असतो क
बोलताना कती मोजूनमापून बोलले पा हजे, जेणेक न दसढयाचा
ु उपमद होणार नाह . आ ह सवानी ितला
आजपयत सांभाळून घेतले आहे. तुलाह िशकव याचा व सांभाळून घे याचा ूय क .
६) तुझे नुसते त ड चालत नाह तर तुझे हात- पायसु ा चालतात. तुझा मूड कधी बदलेल हे कळत नाह आ ण मग
राग अनावर होऊन तू समोर याला बु क
े व लाथा मारायला सुरवात करतोस. हा दगुणपण
ु अनुवांिशक आहे. तु या
क
ु शदादाला लाथा मार याची सवय लहानपणापासून आहे. योगानंदला असताना तू मला तर मारलेसच पण
आजी या पोटात लाथ मारलीस. दोन वषापूव सग यां या देखत तू क त या थोबाड त मारलेस. असे असूनसु ा
पपा तुला कक boxing चे धडे िशकवीत असतो.
12. ७) तुझे रागावर अ जबात िनयंऽण नाह . अँयावेळ तु या जभेला धार चढते. हाता - पायाला ःफ
ु रण येते.
समोर ल वःतूंची फ
े काफ
े क सु होते. क त ने मला सांिगतले क घरातील सव जण राग आला क अशीच फ
े काफ
े क
करतात. मी यासंदभात एक video सु ा बिघतला आहे. तु या शाळेतील ट चरची सु ा ह च तबार असते क तू
शेजार ल मुलाला - मुलीला मारतोस. तुला मारायचा घाक जर दाख वला तर तो क
ं चाळायला लागतोस क मार
मार, माझे र काढ. हे श द तू घरातच ऐकले आहेस हे न क .
८) क
ु शदादा तुला अघोर खेळ िशकवत असतो व तेच खेळ तू मो या माणसांबरोबर खेळायचा ूय करतोस. ( अंग
चाटणे, अंगाचा चावा घेणे, क
े स उपटणे वगैरे)
९) लाडात आलास क तू एखा ा मवा यासारखा चालतोस. अथात तुझा क
ु शदादा बरेच वेळा असाच चालतो आ ण
काह वेळा तुझा पपासु ा.
१०) तुझी समज वयापे ा कमी आहे. सांिगतलेले तुला कळते पण ते काळजीपूवक तू ल ात ठेवत नाह स. कळते
पण वळत नाह .
११) थोड यात हणजे तुझे वाईट वतन हे काह अंशी अनुवांिशक असले तर बरेचसे दोष घरातील वातावरणामुळे
िनमाण झाले आहेत. यात तुझी बु बर अस यामुळे तू फ कॉपी - पेःट करतोस आ ण यामुळे सगळा घोटाळा
होतो. तुला पेःट बरोबर करता येते पण कॉपी काय करायचे आ ण काय नाह ाची समज अजून आली नाह .
यामुळेच घरातील वातावरण सुधारणे गरजेचे आहे.
गेली तीन वष तुझी ह ूगती क अधोगती मी बघत आहे. पण जे हा तू ८ दवस (२४ x ७) योगानंदला रा हलास
ते हा तु याबरोबर सामंजःयाने राहणे कती मु ँकल आहे ाची जाणीव झाली. तु या ब ल मी क त व देवेन
बरोबर अनेकदा चचा क
े ली. तुला िशःत लावणे गरजेचे आहे हे यां या मनावर कोर याचा ूय क
े ला.
तुझी ह वागणूक बघून मी क त आ ण देवेनला खालील स ला दला आहे.
क त आ ण देवेन (माझा पपा ) तुला ओरडतात, ूसंगी मारतात. परंतु याचा उपयोग फारसा झाला नाह ये. तुला
ओरडले क तू जोरानी रडायला लागतोस. हे रडणे क त - देवेनला सहन होत नाह . यामुळे तुला लहानपणापासून
अशी सवय लावली आहे क याने ओरडले यानेच तुझे लाड करायचे. पपा तुला 'हाय फाय' देणार व तुझा मूड
माग लावणार. यामुळे आपण चूक क
े ली आहे व याब ल िश ा भोगली पा हजे हे तु या मनावर बंबतच नाह .
यामुळे परत चूक करायला - वाईट वागायला तू मोकळा.
तू रडलास तर चालेल पण तू क
े लेली चूक आ ण याची िश ा तु या डो यात िशरली पा हजे असा ूय करणे
आवँयक आहे. तसेच सारखे तुला motivate कर यासाठ 'हाय फाय' देणे बंद क
े ले पा हजे . सं याकाळ १५ िमिनटे
घरातील सवानी न बोलता , TV बंद क न ूाथना क
े ली पा हजे. office मधून देवेन घर आप यानंतर तू याचा
पूण वेळ ताबा घेतोस, यामुळे कोणाचाह जीव उबेल. पपा आ ण आयुषची सोिलड pair २४ तास आवँयक नाह .
जेवताना कमी पाणी पणे, न बोलणे हे आवजून क
े ले पा हजे. दर वेळ तू जंकणार आ ण इतर हरणार अँया ूकारे
13. तुझे मन र झ व याचा ूय तु या मनावर वपर त प रणाम करत आहे.
आयुष तू कती नशीबवान आहेस ाची तुला क पना नाह ये. तुला देवेन सारखा पपा िमळाला. असे भा य फार
कमी लोकांना लाभते. याची ःव ने तु या तफ पूण कर यासाठ तो जीवाचे रान करतो आहे. हे पऽ वाचताना जर
ती ःव ने पूण झाली असतील तर या यासारखा आनंद माणूस ा पृ वीवर नसेल. ह ःव ने पूण होऊ देत असा
माझा आशीवाद आहे.
गे या ३ वषात काढलेले अनेक फोटो व video मी संगणकावर save क
े ले आहेत.
तू खूप मोठा हो. पापाचे नाव उ वल कर. खूप िशक. पण É. चांगला नाग रक हो. म मी - पापाची सेवा कर.
यांची काळजी घे.
The sign of Maturity is not when U start saying Big things but actually it is when U start
Understanding Small Things.
Life is all about d little decisions u make everyday. U can’t change d decisions of the past, but
every new day offers opportunity 2 make ‘Right’ decisions.
Life itself can’t give U anything unless U really work 4it. Life gives U Time & Space, It’s up to U
2 fill it as much as possible.
सुधीर वै उफ तुझा आबा
१०-०६-२०१४
15. Dear Friends,
My friend Arjanbhai is retiring on Friday 30-10-2015.
I know Arjanbhai since 19-09-1997. I met him on that day in the afternoon. I instantly
recognized him & he too recognized me. Thanks to our Builder for a nice introduction given to
both of us. From that day, our relationship grew from neighbour to friend and even as brother.
Good relationships are like Trees. They demand attention & care in the beginning but once
they blossom, they provide you shade in all situations of life. I have experienced this
statement in my long association with Arjanbhai.
I always found Arjanbhai in a very cheerful mood. He is a man of active habits, always eager
to help others, in case of need and that too without any expectations.
His retirement is special because he shifted to Nargol as student of this college and after
serving in the same college as Professor, he is retiring now. (But he is not tired) He enjoys
good relations with his students. His students also respect him a lot. He used to participate
actively in the yearly Arts exhibition organized by the college.
Many times we discuss about the changing trends in adverting and marketing.
He is a good Artist. The partial credit for his good occupational career should also be given to
his wife Madhuben.
On behalf of all his friends and well wishers, I wish him good health, peace of mind and
happiness in his life. I have suggested him to write autobiography / memories of his life. He
has witnessed the development of Nargol village over 35-40 years. It will be the interesting
compilation for all of us. I have also requested him to do some painting for his enjoyment.
I must admit that I enjoy my stay at Nargol mainly because of his company as neighbour.
Sudhir Vaidya
24-10-2015
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS: I will be happy if any one of you can translate this letter in Gujarati and repost it on Face
book.
16. - 1 –
Dear Aryan, Happy Birthday.
Don’t keep your dreams in eyes. They may fall as tears. Keep them in your heart so that every
heart beat will remind you to fulfill your dreams. Fill your heart with new dreams & your mind
with passion to realize those dreams. Have a nice time in the year to follow.
I am sure that you will be surprised to receive my letter. This is the novel idea developed by me
to write letters to Grandsons. I had sent similar letter to Aayush on his 5th birthday. (10-06-2014)
However he is too small to read and understand the contents. But now you are big enough to
read and understand the contents. If you seriously think & decide to act on my analysis,
I would feel that my efforts are rewarded.
In fact, there is nothing extra-ordinary about this letter. All the observations have been told to
you time and again and also to Devyani & Romin. But I thought that if you read it all over again
peacefully, you may try to improve. Any person, who loves, has the guts and willingness to
go out of the way to express even harsh opinion about his near & dear ones, because he
genuinely wants that person to improve.
In this world no body is perfect and everyone needs feedback to become a good person.
This is my feedback about you.
Let me list down the good Points about you:
1) Prima facie your face is innocent and lovable.
2) Your first impression is very good.
3) You have sympathy for the old people. You are kind hearted and willing to assist old people.
4) You are very kind to girl friends of your age.
5) You love your young bro Neil. But there is no guarantee as to when you will beat him on
flimsy ground.
6) Your general knowledge is good. You have a good habit of asking questions. But many
questions are irrelevant for your age.
7) You have interests in many things like acting, cricket, kabaddi, swimming, badminton,
tennis, chess, skating etc. But it is high time for you to consolidate on one or two of these
activities in addition to your studying.
17. - 2 –
8) You love your family.
9) Your handwriting is good. It suggests that you have an extrovert personality and enjoy the
company people around you. The problem is whether they like your company wholeheartedly.
Now, I would highlight your behaviour traits which need improvement:
1) Your first impression is very good but as you come in contact with any person, he is forced to
dilute his first opinion about you. In a way, your first impression is misguiding due to
various factors listed below.
2) You are short tempered and hence can’t tolerate any criticism from any one. When you are
angry, you tend to back answer the elder person– Aaba – Aaji –Aai - Mummy. You should get
angry with your behaviour and not with the person doing a candid analysis of you.
It takes around two years to learn to speak…but it takes LIFE Time to learn “how & when to
speak, what not to speak etc. etc.”
3) You are hyperactive. No doubt, a kid is supposed to be hyperactive initially but this tendency
should taper off over the advancing age. Unfortunately, this has not happened in your case.
4) You need to improve concentration. You are always eager to give reaction to every thing and
any thing happening around you, although you are carrying out some activity. e.g. giving reply
to a question asked to Neil, jumping in the conversation of other persons around you etc.
5) You are always eager to listen to the conversation of elders. (bad habit) You do not allow
elders to have chat even in a separate room. You will find out some excuse to enter the room
and take part in the conversation without knowing the subject. You will repeat the conversation
heard again for no reason.
6) Your decision power is fairly weak. Even when you take a decision, you can not follow the
same for a long time and wish to change the decision soon. e.g. You decide to play a particular
game alone, but find that Neil is either playing another game – watching TV, you become
restless and want to follow the suit. I had told you on number of occasions that once you decide
on something, then follow that activity for at least some time to gain the Mind Control. This
problem continues with your studies as well.
7) You are not concentrating while studying. Moreover you have no confidence in studies.
Every 10 seconds, you need confirmation from Mummy about the process. You prefer Mummy
to sit next to you when you are studying. You will look at her face and seek help, which she
would offer immediately by scolding. Mummy and Aai advocate that you know the subject
but due to lack of concentration, you are making silly mistakes since KG. Many times I have
18. - 3 –
told them that separate certificate is not issued for understanding the subject. Only one
composite mark list is issued to show the understanding of the subject & execution of same in
solving the question paper. Due to this bad habit, you do not know your real worth as a
student.
8) You are very talkative. You can’t keep mum for even few minutes. You get suffocated if you
are asked to keep your big mouth shut. Hence you keep offering reactions to the talk of other
persons without knowing reference to context of their talk.
Moreover you talk very fast and finally start stammering. You speech Therapist has suggested
some breathing exercises, but to my knowledge you are not doing those exercises. Aryan,
spare sometime for breathing exercises to overcome this defect, before it is too late.
9) You have the habit of making fun of others in respect of activities not done by you.
Recently during your visit to Yoganand, you and Neil were making fun of devotees visiting the
Ganesh Temple in front of our building. You were raising objection as to how long he is
standing in front of Ganesh with folded hands. I stopped you from passing comments loudly
saying that let him pray. Is he asking you to pray? What right you have got to make fun of him?
Such arrogant behaviour is highly objectionable.
10) You love to bite nails. This activity goes on simultaneously with other activities being
carried by you like watching TV, studying etc. Kids with some inferiority complex develop this
habit. I can’t figure out any complex in your personality. In my opinion, you have a
superiority complex as evident from glow on your face.
11) You like to throw any object (Pen, pencil, eraser, Remote control, compass equipment,
Mobile etc.) available to you in the air and catching the same. Why can’t you keep quiet and
concentrate on the activity being carried out? You don’t realize that at times, you may get
injured.
12) Some unusual trait displayed by you previously, has melted in time giving relief to
Mummy. I hope you remember this.
13) Recently your Mummy was telling Aai (Sumitra) that on & off you are not eating tiffin in
the school. It’s ok if you have no appetite but you should inform Mummy about it. But instead
you are disposing of the food in the garbage or hiding food packed in silver foil in the
cupboard. This is highly objectionable. Are you aware that many students of your age do not
get even one meal a day? Many times they have to earn for their livelihood. Why are you
wasting food? In fact you are wasting money earned by your beloved Dad and Mummy’s
energy in cooking. It is a classic example of National waste. Are you eating in school canteen
19. - 4 –
with your piggy bank money without telling Mummy?
14) Your habit of hugging the Mummy on & off for so called expressing your Love is not in
good taste for your age. There are better ways to express the LOVE. On many occasions, I had
explained you the importance of Geographic zones (distance to be kept) to be observed when
you meet people including family members.
15) Aryan, you better carry handkerchief in your pocket (for better hygiene) instead of mobile
and wallet.
16) Aryan, one phrase can explain your personality namely ‘Palathya ghadyavar pani ‘or
‘empty vessel makes more noise’.
Aryan, kindly read the letter again and again. It is high time that you need to improve.
Otherwise these habits will continue beyond recovery point. I pray to God that good counsel
will prevail and you will improve your personality. You have to be a good & obedient student
in the first instance; everything else (fame - money) will follow the suit.
In case you fail to improve, people will blame your Dad and Mom but I will be the first
person to get upset by such remarks.
I am not looking forward to your comments, reactions but expecting your Response to the
various points mentioned in the letter.
Dear Aryan, Age advances automatically but Growing is optional. Kindly make it compulsory.
The sign of Maturity is not when you start saying Big things but actually it is when you start
understanding Small Things.
Life is all about the little decisions you make everyday. You can’t change the decisions of the
past, but every new day offers opportunity to make ‘Right’ decisions.
Life itself can’t give you anything unless you really work for it. Life gives you Time & Space; It’s
up to you to fill it as much as possible.
May God Bless You.
Aaba (Sudhir Vaidya)
07-09-2014
20. 07-01-2009.
Dear Ashutosh
I was shocked when I heard the news of sad demise of your father. Your loss I can realize
some what as I know how empty my world seemed when I lost my father when I was
studying in college.
It will be hard for all of you to carry on without him but all of us are helpless. We have to
accept this as God’s wish.
Please accept my sincere sympathy in your sorrow. I am confident that you will take care of
Kunda Tai.
May his soul rest in peace.
Sudhir Vaidya
21. Dear Sachin, Anand, Revati & Raj
I acknowledge with thanks receipt of your Birthday Greeting Card today which
incidentally raised few issues in my mind & I intend to share the same with you.
Personally I do not think that I am entitled to get the compliments mentioned in the
Greeting Card. To my knowledge, I have not done anything extraordinary for you. This is
my style of behavior which you must have observed over the period. Each one of us
inherits good and bad qualities with birth and every one gives shape to those qualities
depending upon own nature and taste. It is more like selecting a TV channel among the
100 Channels provided by cable operator. It is possible that I might have provided
one/two good channels for you to watch. It is likely that from my talk about Profession,
Life philosophy, Life experience, Human psychology etc. you might have got few points to
ponder and think further in that direction.
Secondly, three year period is too short to mould anybody. Well, I do not wish to doubt
your sentiments about my contribution for your career development but only wish to put
forth my perspective/ point of view.
You are aware that I am trying to develop a detached attitude towards life in general and I
am afraid that your love & affection for me may act as a speed breaker in my uphill
journey on the said detached path.
At this juncture, I wish to share one secret with you. You will recall that our association
began in August 1996 soon after my accident when I was going through the bad patch of
Life. My will power, mental peace etc. was probably at its lowest. At that point, it was my
good fortune that I came in contact with young, sincere and energetic persons like you
which to a very large extent contributed towards my recovery from the accident. I could tie
over my personal problems and my mind jumped back with a desire to do something for
you. I will always be grateful to you all for the love and affection given to me during our
association.
I wish you and your family happiness, prosperity, good health and peace of mind.
With regards.
Vaidya Sir / 15-05-1999
Note: The reply was sent to thank my Assistants for sending birthday greeting..
All the above assistants are now well settled in Life.
22. 14-12-2001.
Dear Bhushan
I was shocked when I heard the news of sad demise of your father. Your loss I can
realize some what as I know how empty my world seemed when I lost my father
when I was studying in college.
It will be hard for all of you to carry on without him but we are all helpless.
We have to accept this as God’s wish.
I am sure that you will realize that your father was indeed fortunate & lucky if you
refer ‘Bhagwat Gita’. Unless a person gets blessings of 4 Gods namely Fire (Agni
which represents work) Chandra (Moon which represents kind, good qualities of
mind) Surya (Sun which represents sharpening & use of knowledge) and Avakash
(Space which represents detached attitude), such peaceful exit from this world
/Life is not possible.
Please accept my sincere sympathy in your sorrow.
May his soul rest in peace.
Sudhir Vaidya
Note: This letter was sent to my friend on sad demise of his father.
23. Dear Mr. Carvello & Family
I was shocked when I heard the sad news of untimely demise of your younger son Amrish.
It is a loss not only to you & your family but also of society in general as he was pursing
Medical career.
LIFE is a game of uncertainty. In fact it is a Live Episode of Increase & Fall. Death of near
& dear one is always shocking but more so when death catches a young energetic &
talented person marching towards predetermined goal. But all of us are helpless. Every
thing happens with a will of GOD. Probably Amrish was too good to live in this world &
GOD has called him in his kingdom for bestowing more challenging job.
You must be aware of saying in ‘Bhagwat Gita’ that body is perishable & soul leaves the
body & enters another body. Soul does not die. Soul has a perpetual existence.
At this juncture, I take the liberty to suggest few ways to overcome your shock & sorrow.
i) Each one of you should brush up your memories of your association with
Amrish right from his birth and try to capture those memories in a register.
Attempt should be made to analyze his nature, ambitions, goals, qualities,
limitations, behaviour etc. Who knows you could end up writing a good article
which can find place in Reader’s Digest. (The Art of Living). This can be the
source of power for many to overcome the similar shock.
ii) You can donate suitable amount every year on his birthday to his school for
extending aid to poor & needy students.
I take this opportunity to congratulate you for your decision of not postponing marriage of
your daughter Anurupa. To take such as bold decision & to execute the same really needs
‘Lions Heart’ and your have proved that your mental capabilities are really of
extraordinary nature. You have displayed a true sprit of ‘Show must go on’
I pray to Almighty God to give courage to bear the loss.
May his soul rest in peace.
Sudhir Vaidya & Family
03-02-2000
24. 2
Note:
This letter was sent to my friend on sad and untimely demise of his son. Amrish was a
brilliant boy with active habits. He was studying in 1st MBBS at the time of his death. His
death was shocking because previous night he attended family function and slept.
Morning he was found dead.
His sister was to get married shortly. Marriage function was still conducted as all
arrangements were done and it was not possible to postpone the marriage.
25. आज . , १९ -०६-२०१६ ( २१-०८-१९६९)
? आज ज जगभ आ आ .
. ण (भ ) ज
ज . आ ण ज आ भ ग . ज आ ण
ण ?
,
४७ ग ज .
ज ज आ ण . ण भ .
आज ग ण आ . भ ओढ ग आ .
ग आ . ग ग आ . ज
ज आ . . ज .
ग
१९-०६-२०१६
29. Dear Dad
I am sending this open letter since I don’t know your exact address ever since you left this
world way back when I was very young studying in a college.
I am writing this letter specifically to thank you for the few GIFTS given by you.
First Gift was of the good qualities such as sincerity, honesty, involvement, dedication, high
moral values etc. I have not only preserved these qualities against all odds but sharpened them
further.
Second Gift was of providing accommodation. Initially I tried to purchase new flat but
considering the economic situation that time I left the thought of purchasing new flat. I decided
to keep the flat and enjoyed my stay with wife & kids. Instead I purchased a second home.
I knew about your third Gift but did not open it. However over the years the wrapper was
damaged and I had no alternative but to accept it as a part of my fate. In a way it is good.
At least ‘Count down’ has begun. Well I am not blaming you for this Gift but I personally feel
that no body would like to receive such a Gift. I tried my level best to reject this Gift but was
helpless and today I am accepting it under protest. For recording any victory, you need efforts,
desire (ability & willingness) but ultimately the ‘Luck factor’ has the final say in the matter.
Any way I take this as one more opportunity to fight against odds. (Although I am tired of
fighting)
What else? How are you?
Relationship means to HELP without HESITATION, to GIVE without EXPECTATION,
to LOVE without LIMITATION & to REMEMBER even without COMMUNICATION.
You may not believe but I have saved all your memories in my mind. Your Life Philosophy still
inspires & offers solution to me in case of need.
Take care. Bye!!!
Sudhir
31-12-2009
30. Respected Sir,
I have completed the Internal Audit for the year ended 31-03-2011 in respect of the branches
allotted to me and submitted reports after discussion to HO.
I acted as Internal Auditor of Apna Bank since accounting year ended 30-06-1988. In other
words, I was associated with Apna Bank for last 24 years. However, this was my last
assignment and I have decided to retire from my Professional career with immediate effect.
This is not my sudden decision but I had planned my retirement when I was in the midst of
my occupational career.
Let me share my thoughts behind this decision.
I had set Life Time Table in my mind since young age. I was born in a middle class family.
I lost my father when I was studying in College. My father expired at the age of 58 years,
few months prior to his retirement. His post retirement dreams vanished with him. I spent
my childhood in the backdrop of my father’s ill health. His life span was quantified by
destiny. Hence, this was the first factor which governed my decision of retiring at 60 years.
I assumed life span of 60 years and decided to accommodate all my dreams, education,
career, social service, hobbies, relaxation, relations etc in this period. Secondly my eye sight
was poor since school days. I was half blind at the age of 10 years. Against the advice of
doctor I selected commerce faculty. It was expected that my eyes will support me till that
age. i.e. 60 years.
My childhood circumstances made me stronger, go getter, having absolute faith on efforts
(Karma) and a disciplined person. It also made me outspoken.
Having served in the Industry from 1975 to 1985 (of which last 5 years as Financial
controller), I joined CA profession from June 1985.
31. 2
Last two years, I was only doing the work of Apna Bank. My retirement plan was activated
way back from 1995 in a phased manner as it is difficult for a Professional to retire in one
go. I did variety of jobs in my career such as Company Audits, Nationalized Bank Audits,
Audit of Insurance companies, Audit of number of co-operative banks, Insurance survey,
GIC & LIC Agency, Examiner of Professional bodies such ICAI, ICSI, ICWA, IIB, Paper
setter of IBPS, Faculty member of BOI staff Training college / Apna Bank Training centre /
MSBL Training centre, Unit inspection & Monitoring of sick advances of Nationalized
Banks, incorporation of companies, Management consultancy etc. Many times I looked after
the business of the clients in the absence of director, Proprietor. I was partner of two firms.
All these activities I closed down in a phased manner from 1995.
The saved time was utilized to learn Astrology, Medical. I have spent handsome amount
in pursuing these hobbies. I learned Alternate Medical Therapies under the guidance of a
well known doctor in South Mumbai. Since 1998, I am using my medical knowledge for the
benefit of Senior Citizens of my society on an honorary basis. I have reserved one day in a
week for checking BP & medical counseling. I spent time with senior citizens. I do
counseling of young and old people. My study on Medical Astrology is in advanced stage.
I wrote / compiled Medical Referencer. I also wrote Referencer on Astrology.
I also devoted time for writing many Professional Books on Audit & other subjects such as
Marriage Event Management.
I have also written book on Life Philosophy. New articles are included in the book
regularly.
Photography was my passion since young age. I spent time for this activity. I have over
13000 photos & hundreds of Videos saved on my computer.
I hosted website www.spandane.com on 23-05-2008 to share my professional experience,
hobbies etc. Till date, it has recorded over 6,50,000 hits and is viewed from over 50
countries.
Last year, I devoted time to write Autobiography. It has been just completed and ran into
about 400 pages. However final editing is pending and I wish to upload it by end June 2011.
32. 3
As feared earlier, my eye sight (left eye) developed first major problem in 2002 of black
floaters. There is no cure for this degenerative disease. While I was finalizing Internal Audit
Reports of this year, my right eye developed similar problem on 23-04-2011. With a great
difficulty I managed to complete the Reports and handed over to HO on 25-04-2011. I called
on Eye surgeon for investigation. The condition was confirmed. Further complications (of
retina damage) can not be predicted. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
Your Life should be like square meal. Your destination of ‘Happiness’ in Life will be your
mind it self if you can manage to keep balance between your educational/occupational
career, family, health and friendship.
I enjoyed my association with Apna Bank. It was a refreshing experience. I am thankful to
you & other top level executives for the giving co-operation in discharging my function.
I followed pro-active & ‘Shreya’ approach in my career without forgetting the human
face.
I wish you and your Apna Family, a good luck, prosperity and peace of mind. I am
confident that Apna Bank will make new records of progress with your able guidance &
leadership. I am proud that I got a chance to play a small role for the success of the
organization.
We must realize that ‘Change’ is part of Life and also inevitable. Change should be
anticipated and we should mould ourselves for the change and there after change should be
accepted whole heartedly. Then again get ready to ‘Change’.
I am happy that my relationship with Apna Bank will continue as your customer.
(SB & FDR)
I take your leave with a heavy heart.
CA. Sudhir Vaidya
28-04-2011
35. Open Letter to GOD
Dear God,
Death is only the certainty in LIFE but as the departure time is not known, I have decided to
share my feelings and expectations with you now before it is too late.
At the outset, I express my sincere thanks for the ‘typical birth’ given to me and enabled me
to learn the hard realities of Life. I accepted your verdict as your blessings. I worshiped you
wholeheartedly. I also fought with you at times but still finally accepted your ‘verdict’ and
expected that now it is your turn to give me mental strength to fight out the situation and to
give me success on the track chosen by me for survival.
You are aware that once I was in a hurry to meet you but eleventh hour, you made me to
change my plans. I must admit that as usual your decision was correct because best of my Life
really came after that incident. I was in a hurry to Leave but my wife taught me as to how to
Live. Thanks for giving me such a spouse.
I have always advocated the principle that every one should do his ‘Swa –dharma’ or his
‘Karma’ sincerely and honestly and the God will respond with fruits, which should be
offered to him to express our gratitude. The moment you expect something from God means
you don’t have it. I have a strong belief that God knows what is best for you. He does not
offer anything just because you requested him. At the same time, he offers something to you
even if not specifically requested.
Now, let me turn to some of my expectations from you. ~~~~~~
1) Why don’t you call me immediately to your kingdom to offer my Professional services?
Just think seriously on my expectations. I have nothing more to achieve in this Life. I have
achieved my little dreams and few more years may not help in real sense. However as long as
I am physically and mentally active, I will devote my time and energy for some constructive
work for the benefit of the society.
36. 2
2) If it is not possible to call me immediately, then you call me ahead of my spouse. You are
aware that she is my ‘best friend’ and it will be hard for me to continue the Life journey
without her. I am fully aware of the secret energy given to me to fight out with any situation.
But let me confess that I am tired of fighting. You only offered this ‘best friend’ after that
incident.
3) My Exit from this world should be peaceful and without causing any inconvenience to my
near and dear ones.
4) I should be kept physically and mentally fit and active till last moment in the light of my
fears known to you. People should wonder about my sudden exit from this world. I am
trying my level best to worship four Gods namely Fire (Agni which represents work) Chandra
(Moon which represents kind, good qualities of mind) Surya (Sun which represents
sharpening & use of knowledge) and Avakash (Space which represents detached attitude)
responsible for exit from this world.
5) Kindly do not give sorrows, pains or difficulties to any one which can not be shared
openly.
6) I am not interested in rebirth. Please exclude me from your birth-death cycle.
I look forward to regular dose of your blessings. !!! ~~~~~
How are my Parents? I wish you happy New Year. !!!~~~~
Your follower ~~~~
Sudhir
31-12-2010
38. Dear Bal dada
The news about sad demise of your Mother was given to me by Suresh on 25th, when I was out
of station. I lost my mother 6 years back. (26-10-2004) The news about sudden death of
Sulochana Kaku was indeed shocking. No doubt that she was not keeping good health for last
few years but your loss I can realize some what, as I know how empty my world seemed
when I lost my mother.
We literally become orphan on loosing our Mother and that loss can never gets compensated
in Life. It will be hard for all of you to carry on without her but we are all helpless. We have to
accept this as God’s wish. Please accept our sincere sympathy in your sorrow.
I can understand & visualize the trouble taken by your family during last few years of her
poor health. Death is always uncertain. When, How and under what circumstances death will
come depends on the fate of that person. Family members are duty bound to render service to
such senior member of the family.
I must praise Mrs. Vahini for taking care of Kaku. To stay peacefully with Mother –in-law for
38 years is not a joke. This should act as an illustration to the young couples. I salute her for
her service. Last few years, she was acting in dual capacity as daughter-in-law and mother-in-
law. I am sure that God would definitely reward for her untiring service. I would run short of
words of praise for her efforts. She has done a commendable job. Hats off to her.
Your daughter-in-law also needs to be complimented as she also played the due role.
My mind was filled with memories of Kaku on getting the sad news about her demise.
1st memory was of the year 1958. My father was admitted to Talegaon Hospital for treatment.
All of us were staying at Poona. We were nine children in the house. Kaku took my personal
care in particular as I was youngest and my mother was also at Talegaon with my father.
She organised thread ceremony of Suresh and Shridhar at Poona. The function was well
organized and I still remember the same.
Our generation should learn her sense of family responsibility. She personally attended
39. 2
Shrikant’s marriage in June 1972 inspite of her ill health. She had an asthma attack but she
came to Mumbai with her bagful of medicines to give moral support to my mother.
She has seen number of ups and downs in Life. Due to collapsing of Pashed Dam, Poona
experienced massive Flood. Entire house was flooded. She took care of the family and Kaka.
Once again like a ‘Phoenix bird’, she rose to the occasion. Gave moral support to Kaka and
re-established her ‘Sansar’. Hats off to her. She swallowed the bitter events in Life such sad
demise of her daughter after delivery.
You are aware that I used to visit Poona every year for my official work from 1984. I have
invariably met her for chat. I met her for the last time in July 1996 when I met with an
accident.
Previous day of my return to Mumbai, Myself and Kaku were sitting on a compound wall of
the bungalow. Mrs. Tai and Mrs. Vahini also joined us after some time. Cool breeze was
flowing. The waves in the adjoining river were making soothing noise. I have frozen those
moments in my mind.
Kaku was practically illiterate and hence personal chit chat of family matters was her
favourite time pass. However over the years, it becomes difficult for the near family members
to spend so much time due to preoccupation and the old person rarely understands/digests
the situation. She could not contribute to house hold day to day chores and feeling that she
has been confined to bed troubled her more than her physical problems.
She enjoyed the company of Guests and took personal interest to entertain them.
I have witnessed her mental frame when Ravindra purchased a plot for constructing a
separate bungalow for his family. At the time when a trend of son shifting to a separate flat
after marriage was getting established, her expectation of two brothers should stay together
suggest about her concern and love.
I must admit that you and Vahini are literally following the foot steps of Kaku in entertaining
the guests and looking after family responsibilities. I still remember the trouble taken by you
and vahini after our accident on 24-07-1996. Both of you took our care whole heartedly.
40. 3
I remember your weekly visits to Mumbai in July /August 1969 for giving moral support to
us when dada’s health was deteriorating fast.
You are my ‘Role Model’ since childhood. I am also trying to imitate you but my ways may
be different.
Memory is like a scent bottle. When it gets opened, you can’t control the same and hence the
letter became lengthy. I hope that you will excuse me for this.
Convey my regards to Vahini. I once again salute her. Best wishes to Harshad and your
daughter-in-law. Lots of love to your grand daughter Anandi.
Take care of your health and look after the family. I am sure that God will give you strength
to bear the loss.
I wish to assure you that even if we have not met for last few years but still I carry the golden
moments spent in your company in my Mind.
Rest is fine.
Bye for now.
Your brother
Sudhir
27-10-2010
Note: This letter was sent to my cousin after sad demise of his mother (my Kaku) on
25-10-2010.
43. 2
.
. . Beauty is not what you see in the mirror.
.
.
.
.
५५
.
.
/ २२-११-२०१६
44. Dear Keshav,
Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the death of your beloved mother today
morning. Your loss I can realize some what as I know how empty my world
seemed when I lost my mother few years back.
Though, your mother was very old and was ailing for a long time, death of mother
is always painful. Though you might be mentally prepared for this event, still the
death will bring many memories / events on the screen of your mind, which have
been imprinted over the whole span of your life. This flashback may disturb your
mind for some time to come. But the time is the only healing factor. It will be hard
for all of you to carry on without her but we are all helpless. We have to accept this
as God’s wish.
I pray to Almighty super power to bless the departed soul and give you enough
courage to bear the loss of your mother.
May her soul rest in peace.
In grief,
Yours sincerely,
Sudhir & Sumitra
05-07-2008
45. Hi Kirti
How are you? I am sure that you will be surprised to receive such a long letter. But just
keep patience and read the letter peacefully.
Our acquaintance is now just few days old. We met you for the first time on 24-05-2007.
Deven narrated your family background and about your personality, qualities etc. on 21-05-
2007. We immediately accorded our approval to his choice without even meeting you as we
were confident about his choice. There after we met your parents on 27-05-2007 without
wasting further time. Till date we have almost finished the shopping and other necessary
arrangements for your marriage with my son.
In cricket terminology it can be said that first 15 overs have been bowled. According to your
famous dialogue, trailer is now almost over and the main movie is about to start. Now time
will tell as to whether the main movie was as interesting as trailer?
Hence at this point I have decided to share few of my views, thoughts etc. for your
perusal.
At the outset we formally welcome you & ‘Kush’ to our family and hope that your entry
will further strengthen our family ties. You had the advantage of knowing me a bit through
my book ‘Spanadane’ before we formally met on 24-05-2007. It is quite likely that you might
not have expected our fast response. You will appreciate that although you had friendship
with Deepak for few years, you were unable to take decision after he proposed you. After
meeting you, our confidence in deven’s choice was automatically confirmed. We definitely
liked your personality, manners, outlook towards LIFE, your decision making power etc.
We always like people who overcome their difficulties and face the life realities with a
smiling face.
So far so good. Now our informal relationship will be formalized on your marriage with my
son on 22-06-2007. New name will be assigned to our relationship namely daughter- in- law
and father- in- law/ mother-in-law.
Kindly let me know as to how I should call you? Shall I call you as ‘Kirti’ or ‘Sunbai’ Choice
is yours? Let me share one secret that we have already accepted you as our daughter and
you will get the same love and blessing which we gave to our son and daughter.
I am confident that your relationship with me and my wife will be fine and I don’t see any
difficulty. But one never knows. After all Conflict is a part of LIFE and every one should
gear up to face the same. Well Kirti, do not get frightened with this remark. This letter itself
is the outcome of my deep thinking habit about human mind.
You will appreciate that during our initial meetings, I talked quite frankly about myself, my
wife and my son. The main purpose behind doing this was to make you tension free. I was
of the opinion that our family inputs will help you to quickly gain ground after your entry in
our family. I have the experience of counseling number of
patients about their behaviour with their daughter-in-law. However there is always the
difference between net practice and playing a formal game.
46. 2
2
Now let me touch upon Conflict Management. I have already said earlier that conflict is part
of our LIFE. We may not be fortunate to avoid all conflicts but we can certainly try to
manage them well in time. Understanding reasons of conflict & acceptance of conflict etc.
are most essential for its management.
We must first understand the main reasons for conflict.
i) Unmet needs and wants.
ii) Values. Our values drive our behavior. Our values may differ about time, work,
health, relationship, spending habits etc.
iii) Perceptions. There are always three sides to any matter/ problem.
iv) Knowledge. The information or knowledge given or not given may cause
conflict.
v) Assumptions. We make assumptions on what we know. Conflict may take place
when assumptions are not checked for accuracy or are not updated periodically.
vi) Expectations. Conflict may occur when we do not know each other’s
expectations. Expectations should be made known in clear terms to each other.
vii) Growing up differently. Each generation views life and work differently.
viii) Willing ness and ability to deal with conflicts.
ix) Three personalities are hidden in every individual, namely Parent, Adult and
Child. These personalities keep changing from time to time and from situation to
situation. When two persons happen to be in similar personalities say adult while
dealing then the chances of conflict are remote.
Now let me share with you some of our perceptions, views about life.
i) You may not get what you want in life but you can certainly love what you get in
life.
ii) We do not carry any complex either inferior or superior.
iii) You should ‘mean’ what you say but you may not ‘say’ what you mean unless
called for.
iv) We believe in individuality.
v) We honour every person’s ideas and skills.
vi) We always try to do what is right.
vii) We constantly exchange information and knowledge and keep optimum amount
of transparency in our dealings.
viii) We constantly look for every opportunity to learn.
ix) I look at every thing first from brain and subsequently from heart.
x) We consider saving as first charge on income.
xi) We don’t ignore signals. (Take macro meaning)
xii) Happiness lies in MIND.
xiii) We constantly practice that our mind should rule our body and intelligence
should rule our mind.
xiv) We try to break outdated barriers in life.
xv) We exercise control over ‘Hurry’ ‘Worry’ and ‘Curry’
xvi) We take pride in doing household chores.
xvii) We try to do Right thing at a Right time and in Right proportion.
xviii) We do retrospection at periodic intervals.
xix) We try to balance cost and benefits in every matter.
47. 3
3
xx) We believe that we owe some obligations to society. We have already given
donation of Rs.5000/- after the said marriage was fixed.
xxi) We either don’t carry EGO or we try to keep the EGO under control.
xxii) We always do PLANNING before taking any action, decision etc. (Take macro
meaning)
Well Kirti, I have tried to outline few of the views for your ready reference and I am sure
that you will try and recapitulate them in your dealing with us. No doubt that you could
have gathered this information over a long period of time. But I earnestly felt that it is
always better to take lead in expressing oneself when such an important relationship is
about to commence.
I have made few observations about your perspective and definitely would like to give my
suggestions on few issues whenever we meet in person.
Before I close the letter let me make one more request. Whenever you happen to disagree
with us, please feel free to discuss the issue directly and politely with us without any
reservation and without involving third party. You have already started calling us ‘BABA’
and ‘Aai’ hence you must also try and consider our advice in the same capacity.
We are sure that your marriage with our son will be highly successful. Our blessing and
support will be always with both of you.
We take this opportunity to wish a grand success in life. We also wish best of luck in all your
future endeavors. We also wish that Deven-Kirti marriage will be as successful as ours and
would set an example in the society.
I am sure that you will take this letter /advice in right perspective & in true spirit. Good
Bye. With Lots of Love & Blessing.
BABA & Aai.
05-06-2007/08.50 AM
PS: Please delete the letter after reading it peacefully. Do not download & do not forward to
anyone. I will be highly grateful if you confirm that you have read the letter.
48. 26-05-2011
Dear Ashok, Vinay & Mohan
I was shocked when I heard the news of sad demise of your father. Your loss I can realize
some what as I know how empty my world seemed when I lost my father when I was
studying in college.
It will be hard for all of you to carry on without him but we are all helpless. We have to
accept this as God’s wish.
I am sure that you will realize that your father was indeed fortunate & lucky if you refer
‘Bhagwat Gita’. Unless a person gets blessings of 4 Gods namely Fire (Agni which
represents work) Chandra (Moon which represents kind, good qualities of mind) Surya
(Sun which represents sharpening & use of knowledge) and Avakash (Space which
represents detached attitude), such fairly peaceful exit from this world /Life is not possible.
Please accept my sincere sympathy in your sorrow. Take care of your Mother.
May his soul rest in peace.
Sudhir Vaidya
50. 1
From: Mohan Dadhekar
Date: Thu, May 21, 2015 at 2:03 AM
Subject: Re: Hello
To: Sudhir Vaidya
Dear Sudhirji,
Thank you very much for your email of May 17 which is blessing for both of us.
Yeah ! We are enjoying our stay with Kaustubh and Darshana in Seattle.
But first we came to New York, visited few places here and attended his Graduation
Ceremony at his NY State University of Binghamton. Then visited Niagara Falls before
heading for Seattle.
Hence it took me more days to respond to your email.
We read it twice and felt that you are not just the mentor for Neel but the parental Guru.
Your words and sentences are not just reportage but we closely experienced how
thoughtfully and compassionately you are taking care of Neel by devoting your valuable
time.
This is the first time for Neel to stay alone and for such a long period. We do talk to him
daily but as you pointed out don't talk about daily schedule but confine our talk to "his
health and joy" aspects and make sure to listen more to his enthusiastic "new experiences".
Though "marked improvement in English" and "being in the company of good friends" are
still concern for us, we are confident than ever before that Neel is now in safe and good
hands.
We are also sure that he will greatly surprise us on our return back home, again thank God
for your extra-ordinary mentoring.
And last but not the list, there is going to be a huge learning for both of us in the process.
Once again we are Grateful to you !
With warm regards,
Chandramohan Dadhekar
51. 2
On Sunday, May 17, 2015, Sudhir Vaidya wrote:
Dear Chandramohan Sir,
HRU? I am sure that you must be enjoying USA Trip and you will be in best of your spirit.
I am in regular touch with Neil either on phone or personal meeting. Today morning I met
him for about 15 minutes and had heart to heart talk & gave him the book of 'TIPS' given by
you without disclosing your name. Many points referred in the book were already referred
in my previous talk.
I also tried my level best to impress upon him the importance of choosing good friends in
the society.
He is feeling fresh with deep breathing exercise & meditation. He is regular in taking
medicine prescribed by Dr. Prabhu and me. I also enquired about the arrangement made by
him about food.
I understand that you telephone him every day. I personally feel that you should not make
roving inquiries about his daily schedule etc.
He is confident. I do not know as too whether he had stayed alone previously. But he is
enjoying his space. He is enthusiastic in talk about computer class (MS-CIT)
I have told him to contact me in case of any difficulty. Above all, he likes to talk with me.
Lets us hope that our association will reach further to a fruitful destination.
Enjoy & TC. Convey my regards to your wife and best wishes to your son & daughter-in-
law.
Good day.
With kind regards.
Sudhir Vaidya
17-05-2015
53. 2
from: Mohan Panse <advmspmah99@gmail.com>
to: Sudhir Vaidya <smv2004@gmail.com>
date: Sep 8, 2020, 6:52 PM
subject: Re: .
Respected Shri Vaidya saheb,
We are very grateful to you for your kind words .
We have just come home after creamation at Babhai.
He was very active till his end.
He always remained grateful to you for your contribution in our society's management work.
Thanks and Regards.
Mohan
from: Sudhir Vaidya <smv2004@gmail.com>
to: Mohan Panse <advmspmah99@gmail.com>
bcc: Sudhir Vaidya <spanadane@gmail.com>
Good Morning Mohanji
I am sure that today morning will be different than yesterday morning. but this is the beauty of
life. Life throws new challenges for every person, every day and enjoys taking their test.
It will be hard for all of you to carry on without him but we are all helpless. We have to accept
this as God’s wish.
I am sure that you will realize that your father was indeed fortunate & lucky if you
refer ‘Bhagwat Gita’. Unless a person gets blessings of 4 Gods namely Fire (Agni which
represents work) Chandra (Moon which represents kind, good qualities of mind) Surya (Sun
which represents sharpening & use of knowledge) and Avakash (Space which represents
detached attitude), such peaceful exit from this world /Life is not possible.
Please accept my sincere sympathy in your sorrow.
May his soul rest in peace.
Sudhir Vaidya
09-09-2020
54. 3
from: Mohan Panse <advmspmah99@gmail.com>
to: Sudhir Vaidya <smv2004@gmail.com>
date: Sep 9, 2020, 9:51 AM
subject: Re: .
Respected Shri Vaidya saheb,
We are very grateful to you for your kind words which, indeed, have great healing effect on us.
Please do write to us when time permits.
Regards.
Mohan S.Panse
55. www.spandane.com
26-06-2012
Dear Shri Patwardhan
I was shocked when I heard the news of sad demise of your father. Your loss I can
realize some what as I know how empty my world seemed when I lost my father
when I was studying in college.
It will be hard for all of you to carry on without him but we are all helpless.
We have to accept this as God’s wish.
Please accept my sincere sympathy in your sorrow.
May his soul rest in peace.
(Sudhir Vaidya)
56. 1
PROBLEM SOLVING – 25-02-2020
No Suggestions / Comments / Views
1 I appreciate your problem and respect your thinking on same.
2 However there is very little I can do to solve the problem. I don’t know any Advocate.
3 Basically to my mind Legal battle is not the solution to your problem.
4 But if you wish, I can share my Thought process on your problem.
5.0 Problems – Back ground.
5.1 Problems are mainly of two types. (1) Manmade (2) Created by Destiny
5.2 Solution to any problem can be found only by logical & practical approach.
5.3 Person who is facing problem has a better chance of solving the problem/
5.4 Solution to problem lies in problem itself.
5.5 How to search this hidden solution? By applying certain criteria.
5.6 Criteria: 1) Right time 2) Right Reason 3) Right Proportion 4) Priority at that stage in
particular
6 I understand your sentiments about the home, wherein you stayed for many years and
spend best part of your Life.
7 It is rented accommodation and building is owned by Trust. Neither Trust nor your
neighbours are bothered for building maintenance.
8 Last few years, you were spending handsome amount for repairing the terrace etc.
Driving force for this: (1) your inconvenience, if you do not repair (2) You had no other
separate accommodation (3) You have not made up your mind for surrendering the flat
to Trust because you will not get any money from Trust.
9 Now you have shifted to Kandivali and hence driving force no 1 & 2 are not relevant.
10 But still you have not made up your mind for surrendering the flat to Trust because
you will not get any money from Trust.
11 At this point, you have come out of idea of fighting a legal battle which in my opinion
is waste of energy, money at the cost of peace of mind. No justice will immerge from
legal battle except both Advocates’s earning handsome fees.
57. 2
12 Now, even if you spent money on Repairs, Is there any guarantee that you would get
money on sale from this Trust? If yes, how much?
Even if you don’t spend, Is there any guarantee that you would get money on sale from
this Trust? If yes, how much?
Under such conditions, why you bother with repairs and picking up legal battle?
You are deciding to fight legal battle at a wrong time and against your priority as on
date.
13 Coming back to Money, Do you really need money so badly, disregard to your health?
In my understanding, No. Money is means to an end and not an end in itself.
14.0 Coming back to solution: select one path
14.1 Carry repairs as usual without expecting contribution from neighbours and Trust.
Advantage: Your flat will remain in good condition.
14.2 Do not carry out any repairs as you are not going to stay again in that flat.
14.3 Take a decision to surrender the flat as per your priority as on date.
15.0 What should be your priority today?
1) Maintain Health 2) peace of Mind
60. www.spandane.com
05-05-2011
Dear Sachin
I was shocked when I heard the news of sad demise of your father. Your loss I can
realize some what as I know how empty my world seemed when I lost my father
when I was studying in college.
It will be hard for all of you to carry on without him but we are all helpless.
We have to accept this as God’s wish.
I am sure that you will realize that your father was indeed fortunate & lucky if you
refer ‘Bhagwat Gita’. Unless a person gets blessings of 4 Gods namely Fire (Agni
which represents work) Chandra (Moon which represents kind, good qualities of
mind) Surya (Sun which represents sharpening & use of knowledge) and Avakash
(Space which represents detached attitude), such peaceful exit from this world
/Life is not possible.
Please accept my sincere sympathy in your sorrow.
May his soul rest in peace.
(Sudhir Vaidya)
64. 1
. -
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67. 14-05-2012
Dear Suresh
I was shocked when I heard the news of sad demise of your mother. Your loss I can
realize some what as I know how empty my world seemed when I lost my mother
few years back.
We literally become orphan on loosing our Mother and that loss can never gets
compensated in Life. It will be hard for all of you to carry on without her but we are all
helpless. We have to accept this as God’s wish.
Please accept my sincere sympathy in your sorrow.
May her soul rest in peace.
Sudhir Vaidya
70. Dear …….
A year has rolled by ~~~~~
Monsoon has set in ~~~~
and Memories of July last flooded my mind, prompting me to express sincere
thanks once again for the help rendered by you after my accident.
Accident has made me wealthier not in terms of money but in terms of experience,
which enabled me to have fresh look at life and the Path, I should follow.
I do agree that we must forget the past and look at the future but a person like me
looks at the future from window of the past and doors of the present.
I will remember the trouble taken by you for years to come and such kind gesture
will strength the foundation of life in general.
LIFE today as I see is nothing but Loss of Individual Faith and Enemity arising
out of ego.
I pray to Almighty God that happiness, good health, prosperity and peace of mind
be showered on your family and all your wishes and desires be fulfilled forthwith.
With kind regards.
24-07-1997
Note: I met with a deadly accident on 24-07-1996 at Poona. This letter was sent
one year after the said accident to all those who helped me to recover from the
accident, both physically and mentally.
