This document contains a creative non-fiction writing sample by Nancy Kanter about confronting her high school bullies at a reunion. The sample describes how Kanter was bullied for her looks from elementary through high school, often skipping school to avoid it. At her reunion, Kanter gathered the courage to confront four of her main bullies and ask them why they treated her poorly. Three apologized, with two admitting they took out their insecurities on others. The experience helped Kanter realize the bullying reflected the bullies' own insecurities rather than something wrong with her.

1. Writing Sample
Contact:
Nancy Kanter
nancylynne9@yahoo.com
LinkedIn Profile:
https://www.linkedin.com/pub/nancy-kanter/1a/811/711
Contents:
 Creative Non-Fiction

2. Revenge of the Nerd
http://beautyisinside.com/2011/08/revenge-of-the-nerd/
I often write about how women can reclaim our power against a culture that tells us that our
bodies are our most valuable attributes. My passion about this issue was partly due to years of being
bullied about my looks (among other things) as I grew up. I was one of the unpopular kids from
elementary through high school, and so being bullied was part of life. I had no idea why the other
kids didn’t like me, and I tried hard to figure it out. I would sit by myself outside of the library at
lunchtime in my rainbow-striped top, my tan corduroy knickers that buttoned right below the knee,
my burgundy knee socks, and my freshly-white-shoe-polished Payless tennis shoes, wondering why
no one liked me. You’d better call Nancy Drew, because we have a mystery! My grandma told me
the girls were just jealous because I was so much prettier than they were. I wish I were able to
believe her, but grandmas have to say things like that.
I used to talk my mom into calling in sick for me all the time during junior high. I kept getting
stomach aches right before the time we were supposed to leave for school. Concerned about my
illness, my parents took me to a doctor who decided that I suffered from lactose-intolerance from the
milk in my morning Cheerios. So my parents switched me to soy. No surprise – the stomach aches
continued, because I wasn’t allergic to milk. I was allergic to the little shits who teased me. I was
allergic to the dirty looks, the shunning, and the insults from the mean girls. I was allergic to being
called ugly, smelly, and Casper because I was so pale. I was allergic to the shaming sting of cootie
spray if I accidentally got too close to someone. I was allergic to being left out, to being picked last
for teams, to being treated as if I were sub-human. I was allergic to no one standing up for me and to
not having the tools to do it myself. Unfortunately, soy milk couldn’t fix any of that.
Fast forward to my recent high school reunion. I wanted to see old friends, but I was dreading
seeing the bullies who made my life hell. I was frustrated that they still had a hold on me, even as an
adult. I had given them too much power for too long … but now it was time to take it back.
As the night progressed, I finally got up the nerve to stand up for myself. I just knew I’d regret it if
I didn’t. So with the help of a few glasses of liquid courage, I confronted two of the mean girls and
two of the mean guys. I didn’t plan out exactly what I would say; I just ended up being real. I pulled
each of them aside and nicely asked if I could speak to them for a moment. And one by one, I told
them that they were pretty mean to me back in school, and I just wanted to know why. Was it
something about me? I had spent years believing that it was me — that I was bullied because I
wasn’t pretty enough, or thin enough, or simply just not enough.
And an amazing thing happened. Three out of the four bullies immediately apologized. The two
guys acknowledged that they were jerks, and they both admitted that they took out their insecurities
and family issues on other kids. That it had nothing to do with me. I wasn’t prepared for them to be
so introspective. One girl claimed that she didn’t remember being bitchy to me, but she still
apologized several times, hugged me, and seemed to feel guilty. The last girl just coldly stated that I
was asking about something that happened many years ago, insisted that she didn’t remember
anything, and then reminded me again that it was many years ago.
But her response really didn’t matter. None of their responses did. I confronted my bullies
because I needed to stand up for myself, regardless of their reactions. And this time, I was detached
enough to realize that their apologies or their denials had everything to do with them — and nothing
to do with me. When someone treats us poorly, often our first instinct is to wonder what it was about
us that deserved the crappy treatment. Due to our own insecurities, we absorb their insults without
considering that they actually reflect the insecurities of the other person. The worst part is when we
take over the bullying ourselves.
Our early years can profoundly affect us long after we graduate. We spend less than 20 years in
childhood, and another 20+ trying to undo the damage. If there’s a bright side for me, it’s made me
even more compassionate toward any group that’s oppressed, because I know how much it hurts to
be bullied and how much it sucks when no one defends you.
But the bullies aren’t just in high school. The grown-up bullies have just graduated on to being

3. mean in other ways — to being critical and abusive partners and parents, to opposing the
“homosexual lifestyle” and marriage equality, to treating other races as second-class citizens, to
being intolerant and judgmental of others’ religions or lack thereof, to supporting legislation that
prevents women from having control over our own bodies, to treating women as dehumanized
sexual objects. The media are a grown woman’s tormenters. They’re the mean girls and boys who
tell us we’re ugly and fat, and that no one will like us unless we adhere to superficial beauty
standards. I use my writing as a way of standing up to them.
We may have graduated from the playground, but we’re not immune to feeling bullied. The little
kids inside us still want to be popular and accepted, and we don’t want to be rejected. However, as
grown-ups, we have more strength and resources than we had as children. We’re not the same
powerless little kids. We no longer have to cry into our pillows at night. We’re old enough to fight
against the bullies — and to decide not to be bullies ourselves. We matter. We’ve always mattered,
even if others were too blind or immature or insecure or heartless to recognize it. This was true
when we were children, and it remains true as adults.
There will always be those who try to keep others down, but it’s up to us to decide if we want to
stand up to them or let them continue to victimize us. It’s up to us to take our power back. And it’s up
to us to have the courage and compassion to stand up for others who have less power than we do.
And let me tell you — it feels damn good to finally stand up.