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What Rules Your Family Life?
Posted on February 7, 2016 by Matt Newnham
“Baa” said the sheep to her lamb
“Baa” the lamb replied
This was the conversation heard throughout the ock and the sheep
followed each other, content but all doing the same.
The end.
It’s not a long story is it?
But the fact is way too
many of us have joined a
ock of human sheep. Our
conversation is limited to
“Baa” and our lives are
dictated by the same
things, eating the same grass, seeing the same eld and being with the same
people. We are humans for crying out loud not sheep, so why do we all act like
sheep?
What rules your family life?
It’s a tough question and one that few people truly answer. Yes, having a
family is awesome but if you spend all your time watching little Tommy play
little league, Sarah do her gymnastics and Mary play her violin you may not
always have time to be together as a family doing things together as the rules
are not your rules but the rules of the club or society your children are in.
Rules for the sports clubs hold parents to ransom, “if Tommy doesn’t come to
practice twice a week he won’t be allowed to play in the team” the rules say
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you sign it in blood. Yes, there is a need for kids to learn discipline but there
also has to be a time for kids to be kids and do things with Mom and Dad that
the family want to do. It’s crazy, today too many of us follow our soccer,
football, little league, gymnastics and musical ocks and we fail to make time
for our smaller, vitally important herd better known as the family.
Yes you want to see your child succeed, score the home run, perform in front
of dignitaries and give the impression they are making you proud. But have
you ever stopped to question what would happen if you stopped doing all this
and decided not to follow the ock but become a family and live by your rules?
Your schedules should be made by you. Look at how crazy life is, the soccer
mom syndrome is rife and whilst you may think it is leisure time you know full
well it’s actually more stressful than your job. Even crazier you or your spouse
work harder to ensure you can pay the fees for all the extra murals your
children do, not only are you working harder, working longer and building up
stress you are also in a loop of actually creating less time to be with those you
love to simply pay for something your child might only love because you have
told them they do.
201 is already upon us. Can you break the extra mural madness loop and do
things as a family and have more time doing less but gaining more as a family?
The answer is yes. You will give every excuse under the sun why you can’t but
when you step back and count to 10 you soon realise you are on a treadmill.
Your kids may give you the “oh but mom” look but you need to take control
and spend time making memories as a family at a time that suits you. Cut
down on the sports and music and increase the family time, you don’t have to
drop the sports and music but you mustn’t let those extra murals dictate your
life or let them make you spend more time at work to pay for them.
Stop.
Count to 10.
Breathe.
Now look at the madness of what you have put off because of the dictation of
others. Look what the ock is doing and listen to the lambs say “Baa” and the
mothers and fathers reply “Baa”.
Sit down with your family over a weekend and talk about the madness. Draw
up a list of things you would like to do, then draw up a list of reasons why the
activities of your life dictate why or if you can’t do these things. Read the list of
things you are prevented from doing – a visit to grandma, a weekend in the
mountains, movie night at home, going out to a theme park, just being a family
playing ball in the park. Imagine the memories created, imagine the reduction

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in stress and imagine how your family will bene t. You will soon see the value
or lack of value in all the activities that control your life and by seeing this you
can make a change.
Stress levels will drop. Expenditure may stay the same but the returns will be
higher. Free time will increase. Smiles will grow. The grass under your own
feet will grow greener as you break from the ock and nd your family unit
again. Madness becomes a happy feeling.
Don’t worry about your friends in the soccer school, the music hall or the
swimming arena. Your real friends will shine through when you slow down, do
less and gain more.
Can you make the change? I did!
Guest blogger – British-born, Matt Newnham is a single parent living in Cape
Town, South Africa. Matt made the change in his life to spend more time with
his son, get involved with things that mattered and to do things he and his son
wanted to do and do more of. Having quit his job, today, Matt writes for many
publications and speaks to numerous groups of people about nding and
following their passion and reaping an abundant reward.
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Posted in People Tagged family, home, homes, leisure, memories, regrets, time
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