1. The Transience of Urban Attachment
Inhabitingametropole instilsone withacharacteristicfeelingof involvementandvitality,andthisis
amplifiedwhenthe metropoleinquestionisnew tothe subject.Itisthisfeelingthat luresmanyof
us awayfrom our nestsandinsearch of pasturesnew,andis undoubtedlypositiveforbroadening
the mindand forthe novel experienceswhichitcanprovide.Similarly,if youhappentoland
somewhere thatprovidesasmuchcomfortas it doesexcitement,the possibilityof anew home
opensinnumerable doorsof opportunity,andcan be the start of somethingtrulylife-changing.
Inevitably, immersingyourself inanewculture andsurroundingyourself withnew peopleentails
that newrelationshipswill be forgedand,byextension,new commitmentswill be made.Inthe
relative blinkof aneye,yournexttenyearsmay have beendeterminedbyajourneylastingamere
couple of hours. The unfortunate upshotof sucha processis that those precedingyears,probably
the most formative of yourlife,tendtobe allowedtofade intomemory,nolongersufficiently
presenttodemandprolongedconsideration.Of course,the nostalgicamongstyoumaydisagree
withme,butthere is a stark difference betweenactive considerationandfondremembrance. As
soonas we allowourselvestothinkof what wasas opposedtowhat is, we effectivelyturnthe page
and beginanewchapter inour lives.Thisisnecessaryattimes,obviously:no-onecanexpecttokeep
pace witha newurbanenvironmentif theyare overlyinvestedinthe past,andthistransience isa
natural and unavoidable partof one’sdevelopmentasa person. Butit isimportantalsoto remind
oneself thatwhatwe leave behindisnotjusta collectionof stagnantmemories,butinmanycases
people justlike us,walkingaparallel pathtowardstheirownuniquefuture.
It isalso importanttorememberthatwhereaswe mayhave concludedthe periodof ourlivesin
whichthese people were mostprominent,suchseismicshiftsare veryrarelysynchronised.Assuch,
those whohave movedonmay still be viewedasa verypresentplayerin the livesof those who
remain, insignificance if notdistance. Therefore,naturally,anyindicationthattheythemselveshave
beenmovedon fromwill mostlikelybe takenwithafeelingof indignation,atleastuntil the time
comesfor themto replicate the process.Situationslike these canof course be difficulttoresolve;on
the one hand there isa strong desire tocontinue focusingonestablishingoneself inwhicheverfresh
environmentone hasfound,yetforthe majority,alingeringguiltisfeltuponencounteringthe
occasional signthattheyare beingmissed bythose backhome.A further fateful consequence of
such shiftingcommitmentsis thatresponsibilitiesthatare felttobelongtothe now distantparties
may alsobe viewedasbeingneglected,somethingthatisverymuchmore immediate toandeasily
recognised bythose whomayhave to deal withthe falloutof suchneglect.A change of scenerydoes
not automaticallyentail afull departure fromwhatwe once consideredworthyof conscientious
attention.
I’mveryaware that mytone thus far couldbe construedasrather unforgivingandpotentiallyunfair
towardsthose whoare luckyenough toforge aheadand continue life elsewhere.However,asone
whohas beensubjecttosuchinnocentdesertion,I’mmerelytryingtoputintowordswhat I’msure
has beenfeltbycountlessothers.Nevertheless,thisisnottosay that those ‘leftathome’are not
leftwithnewresponsibilitiesof theirown.There will come timeswhen thatinimitablemetropolitan
guiltwill promptanattemptto reconnect,andthiskindeffortdeservesrecognition. Pridewillno
doubtbe a factor inthe reception theyreceive,anditcan alsobe one of the toughestobstaclesto
overcome whenit – oftenirrationally –pervadeseventhe mostintimateof relationships.But

2. despite itsinitial powertopoisonus,the half-life of pride isusuallymercifullyshort,allowinga
warmthto grow,fuelledbyfondmemoriesand asense of premature nostalgia. Understandingand
acceptance of the inevitabilityof theirdeparture will helpusto gain a new perspectiveonthe
situation,andone more formative experience ishadwhenwe endure the painandpleasure of a
friend’svoyage andreturn.
Advancingtowardsnewhorizonsisbestappreciatedatthe arm of a friendortwo,for withoutthis
anchoringlinktoour previous home itiseasyto cut adriftfromfamiliarshores,andpotentiallyfind
ourselvesshipwrecked.The comfortof strangerswe encounter inanew and vibrantmetropole will
allowusto appreciate whatwe have leftbehind,anddrive ustoensure thatit remainsa stone’s
throwaway.