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The Foibles of English
     By Dan Wilcox
Spelling Madders
“The English language has the worst system of
spelling of any major language.”
                       —Robert C. Pinckert, Ph.D.
Spelling Madders
“Denise” means “goddess of wine.”
Spelling Madders
“Denise” means “goddess of whine.”
Spelling Madders
“Denise” means “goddess of whine.”

      He took her for granite.
Spelling Madders
“Denise” means “goddess of whine.”

      He took her for granite.

 Let’s have a mouthful for desert.
Spelling Madders
   Should Tom Wright decide
       to write right rite,
then Wright would write right rite,
   which Wright has the right
          to copyright.
Spelling (Almost Always) Madders
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy,
        it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr
            the ltteers in a wrod are,
       olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres
             are at the rghit pcleas.
           Tihs is bcuseae we do not
           raed ervey lteter by ilstef,
            but the wrod as a wlohe.
Regional Differences
• Utahnics

• Pennsylvania Dutch

• “Suthern”
Regional Differences
• Utahnics

             LaVerl: quot;Djeet yet?“

             LaVell: quot;No, djew?“

             LaVerl: “LSqueet!quot;
Regional Differences
• Pennsylvania Dutch

  Lost: A watch by a lady with a cracked face.

    Throw the baby out the window a kiss.

       Toss Papa down the stairs his hat.
Regional Differences
• “Suthern”

                 Rufus: M R Ducks.

                  Cletus: M R Not.

          Rufus: O S A R. C M Wangs?

              Cletus: L I B. M R Ducks!
Context in Headlines
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
Context in Headlines
    Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing

Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Context in Headlines
    Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing

Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

     Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

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The Foibles Of English