1. THE EXAM – SCRIPT
(Camera moves closer slowly on hall, with clock ticking in background for opening shot.
Angled close up of clock, showing hands move and increasing tension. Front on close up
of clock, showing clock striking the hour – cut to a medium side on of students and
teacher sitting at desks, complete with contrasting music and title on-screen.)
Mr Jones: Right! I’m stuck here with you two goons for this afternoon, so let’s make this
quick shall we? This was a short general knowledge quiz and somehow you goons still
managed to fail. I want to be out of here as soon as possible, so no slacking this time, got
it?
(Mr Jones snatches phone from Tiffany’s hand, and slams exam sheets on both students
desks)
Tim: (Groans) Sir, are you serious? I was one mark off a pass!
Mr Jones: Well, Tim, sadly I couldn’t give a toss. In this class, a fail is a fail. Now sit
down, and be quiet.
Tiffany: (chews gum) Ugh like, why am I even here anyway? I have a pedicure at the spa
in like, 10 minutes.
Tim: (Rolls eyes) (Under breath) Arrogant bitch.
(shot-reverse-shot)
Tiffany: (chews gum) God, like, shut-up Tim. Unlike you, I have a life.
Tim: (Mumbling) Unlike you I have decent grades.
Tiffany: (Retaliating)
Tim: (Even more confused). (Proceeds to open the paper, - close up of Question 1)
“What is the common informal term for members of the Irish Traveller community?”
Tim: (Looks up in thought)
*FLASHBACK*
(Back to the first day of the week, Monday. In a Gymnasium. Class dodge ball session )
Mr Jones: Right! The aim of the game is to eliminate your opponent, with these balls.
(Kids smirk, Mr Jones rolls eyes)
Headshots are allowed, so I wanna see a bloodbath. Winner gets a free A* on me. Ready,
set, go.
(Immediately balls start flying. Shot of student picking up ball and yelling ‘Hey Tim,
catch these nuts!’ before launching it into Tim’s face. Tim goes down hard. POV shot of
Tim on the ground, bully comes into frame)
2. Bully: Hahaha, lads look at this little scrub. Get up, ya *pikey*.
*FLASHES OUT*
(Back in exam hall. Total silence, except for continuous ticking of clock. Tim visibly
sweating. Both Tiffany and Mr Jones give Tim an odd look)
Mr Jones:: What was that? That like, bright light just then? Was that a flashback? How
dare you have a flashback in my exam hall? That’s cheating young lad.
Tiffany: God Tim, you’re such a like, creep. It’s like, 2018, who even flashbacks without
Snapchat anymore?
Tim ignores them both, quickly scribbles down the word ‘Pikey” on exam)
Mr Jones: Timothy! If I see you trying to have another flashback in my exam hall there
will be severe consequences young man!
(Tim continues to ignore Mr Jones warning, proceeds to next question)
“What phenomenon was recently discovered after being discussed 100 years prior in
Einstein’s ‘Theory of Relativity?”
(Tim closes eyes and starts sweating again,)
Mr Jones – Timothy, what are you doing? If you dare attempt to cheat one more time
I’ll have you - Tim, no, don’t do it, Tim listen to-
*FLASHBACK*
(Tuesday – Sunny day. Tim walking round with his friends, Jamie and Joe.)
Tim: Anyway, did you guys watch Love Island last night? I’m surprised nobody’s gone
full raunchy.
Jamie: Well done Einstein, they’ve only known each other for like a week.
Joe: Speaking of Einstein did anybody see the news? There’s been like some fat
discovery.
Tim: What does that have to do with Love Island? Focus on the important stuff Joe.
Jamie: Actually Joe I’m quite interested, ignore this buffoon right here and continue
what you were saying.
Joe: Like some waves were discovered and apparently Einstein predicted them like 100
years ago. Forgot the name though...
Jamie: (Looking at phone) Gravitational waves?
Joe: That’s the one.
3. Tim: Enough of the chit chat, who do you guys think is gonna go home tonight?
Jamie: Hmmm....
*FLASHES OUT*
(Clock still ticking. Tim visibly sweating again.)
Tiffany: (chews gum, en route to mental breakdown) Oh my God, Sir, is Tim, like,
cheating? That’s like, totally unfair. You’re like, just gonna let him do that? That’s like,
sexism right there, like, where’s the equal pay? Like, wow, men really are, like, trash. I
don’t know how us women get by, surrounded by you Nazis all the time. God you’re all,
like, racists. Like, God. (Chews gum).
(Tim and Mr Jones stare at Tiffany in silence. Only noise is clock ticking,)
Mr Jones: Did I just get called a Nazi?
Tim: Never mind that; did I just get called a racist?
Mr Jones: (clears throat and turns to Tiffany) Tiffany, just because we possess male parts
does not make us racist.
Tim: Yeah! Plus I’m Asian anyway? Why would I –
Mr Jones: Shut it Jackie Chan. Get back to work.
(Tim kisses teeth)
Tiffany: (chews gum) Ugh, like whatever.
(Tim flips page to reveal next question)
“Describe the menstrual cycle”
Tim: Oh great.
Tiffany:(in background) Shut up Tim!
Tim: I mean, I’m not exactly an expert on this topic. Tiffany, if you would please?
Tiffany: (shows Tim the middle finger) in background.
(Light gets brighter. Mr Jones looks at Tim)
Mr Jones: (in background) Dammit Timothy you get out of that flashback right now!
*FLASHBACK*
(Wednesday. Tim’s playing videogames at home, when his mum comes downstairs)
Mum –Timothy! Getcho ass down here right now or imma woop your butt.
4. Tim- (still mashing controller buttons) Mum, What is it now?
Mum: (in background) Don’t make me say it twice.
Tim: Ugh, (rolls eyes, and whispers under breath) always so menstrual, jesus.
Mum: What did you just say? Oh hell nah, mmm mmmm.
(shot reverse shot cuts back to Jim startled)
Mum: Menstrual? Menstrual?? I’ll show yo’ ass menstrual.
(Tim tries to make a run but mum blocks the doorway)
Tim: Mum I didn’t mean it, I was talking about… me.
Mum You? Hell you know bout being menstrual? You on your period?
Tim: Maybe
Mom: God-damn! I always knew you were one weird child
Tim: (Looks at mum offended)
Mum: What? You said it, don’t look at me.
Tim: Yeah, about that. What is it anyway?
Mum: You used the word without even knowing what it means? I should beat yo ass for
that alone. (sighs) Imma keep short for you – we get angry on our periods. Any last
words before I deliver this frail butt a hand-whoopin?
Tim: (stays silent for 4 seconds) (Runs)
Mum: Hmph...Serves you right.
*FLASHES OUT*
Tim: (Scribbles down answer quickly)
Mr Jones: Dammit Tim! You keep doing this and I’m gonna need a bloody guide dog
soon Jesus.
Tiffany: Yeah Tim, like, Oh, my God. Anyway Sir, can I have my phone back please?
Mr Jones: Absolutely not! Did you forget you’re in the middle of an exam?
Tiffany: Well I don’t care!
(Tiffany and Mr Jones start arguing in the background while the camera slowly zooms
in on Tim)
(Shows Tim looking at the question)
5. ‘What does the term ‘wet blanket’ mean?’
*FLASHBACK*
(Thursday. Tim’s house – his father is sitting on the sofa)
Dad: Tim, can you come down please, there’s something very important I’d like to talk
about
Tim: Sure thing (Tim comes down the stairs, and into the room.)
Dad: (Serious tone) Do you know why the computer was late to work?
Tim: Wait what?
Dad: Because he had a slow, hard drive! (Begins laughing hysterically)
(Tim looks confused)
Dad: (Still laughing) W-w-w wait! Ok, ok, listen to this one. Why can’t bicycles stand up
on their own?
Tim: (tired) Why.
Dad: They’re ‘two tired’! (Begins laughing maniacally again)
Tim: (No reaction)
Dad: Wait wait wait, did you ever see the movie con-
Tim: Dad, stop. Please.
Dad: Fine then, you wet blanket. Suck out the rest of the fun in this room won’t you.
(Walks out)
Tim: (sighs).
*FLASHES OUT*
(Bright light fades. Tim scribbles down answers as Mr Jones and Tiffany are still
arguing. Tim quickly flips the page to see the last question, and a smirk appears on his
face when he sees it. He writes down the answer, and closes the exam paper.)
Tim: (Hands paper to Mr Jones, interrupting the argument) Here, sir, I’m done.
Mr Jones: What? That was quick. Let me see…
(begins flipping through exam as Tim walks away. Flips to the final question, and goes
wide-eyed. Tiffany startled. Tim walks away from exam, as a smile creeps up on face).
