1. Student Analysis
Aneesa Jones, a fourth grader enjoys writing narrative stories for her friends and family
to read. She enjoys reading a variety of books and enjoys reading and writing in school. Aneesa
lives with her mother and her father lives in a different city. Aneesa completes her school work
on time and does her best to do it correctly. When given the Garfield survey her raw score was
76 and the percentile rank was 44%.
6 + 1 Trait Writing:
• Sample 1:
Ideas and Content- Aneesa has a very strong idea that she develops into a full story. The work
contains a problem and a solution that gets solved at the end of the story. The problem is that
Jackson made a wish and it is not working out like he wants it to. To fix the problem Jackson
makes another wish to be taken care of without the neglect involved with his mother being rich.
The reader is easily engaged with the story, and can see themselves as the main character
Jackson. Her story also has a theme intertwined within it. The theme would be be careful what
you wish for.
Organization- The Wish has a beginning, middle, and end to it. The main character wishes they
could be rich then he realizes it's not all that great and decided to make another wish to return to
a similar life to what he had before. Aneesa gives the character a problem and provides the
means to solve it.

2. Voice- When reading the story I can see my student finding herself in a similar situation if wishes
did come true. I feel she made herself as the main character as she and Jackson have similar
home lives.
Word Choice- Aneesa does not use any exciting or colorful words, but she does get the message
of her story across. Using more advanced words effectively takes lots of practice. Students do not
get very much time to write in class so exploring new colorful words is difficult.
Sentence Fluency- Aneesa's sentences sometimes do not flow. Her sentences do get her ideas out
even though they do not flow well. This is understandable because it is not a published work that
has been edited for convections.
• Sample 2:
Ideas and content- The story is about a time Aneesa witnessed a hail storm. It had details about
who was there, where the story took place, what happened, and how she felt during the storm.
The idea is straight forward and seems like something everyone can relate to. There was no
guessing on what the author was trying to describe.
Organization- The story is sequential in the event of the hail storm. This writing was more like a
journal entry than a piece of writing to be publish into a book.
Voice- Aneesa can be really heard in the writing about the storms. Her writing reflects the way
she talks and tells stories in class.

3. Word Choice- Aneesa did not use very colorful or imaginative words in her writing. The words
she used got the point of the story across.This piece of writing was very informal in word usage
and could be made better with some small editing.
Sentence Fluency- The sentences are reflective of the author speaking aloud. They are sometimes
choppy and do not flow well together. With some editing the writing would be easy to read and
sentences would be better formatted to flow smoothly.
Spelling Analysis:
• Sample 1:
Apon/opon, were, your, there, beged , Manchine are all words that Aneesa misspelled in her
writing. Many mistakes could be based on the students lack of knowledge about similar words
like your, you're , there, their, they're, were, where, we're. Not knowing which words should be
used in the writing can hinder the meaning of the sentence. Apron/opon are both mistakened for
the word upon, this could be because of the students pronunciation of the first sound of the word.
Another word she misspelled is Manchine for mansion this could be a result of mispronunciation
of the word.
• Sample 2:
Augest, Haell, Ovel, Guass and storm are the words Aneesa misspelled in her writing. She was
very close in correctly spelling the words. Aneesa's pronunciation of the words may have

4. effected the way she has written them down. Sounding words out and writing them correctly
greatly depends on how the letters are pronounced and blended correctly.
Summary
Aneesa is a very strong writer and has a great imagination. When reading her story you can her
the students voice come out in the writing. Between the two samples her spelling was were she is
expected to be. Many students have similar errors that occur in their writing. Overall,
improvement was slim in her writing. I believe a bigger gap between writing samples would
show greater improvement with the student.