This document tells the story of Shanaya through various points in her life from ages 9 to 23. As a child, she experienced sexual abuse that has continued to haunt her. In the present, she is in a relationship with Varun, but struggles with intimacy due to past trauma. During an intimate moment with Varun, flashbacks to her abuse resurface, highlighting how the past continues to impact her.

1. STORY + FRAMES | by Sharvari Shah
1995, Shanaya, Age 9
It was the middle of a hot summer afternoon when I decided to go
cycling while the other kids of my block were glued to their
video games and television. I always parked my cycle in the far
end of the parking lot, a dark but cooler spot. I dusted the seat
and noticed that the rear wheel had less air so I went away to
look for an air pump. At the back of the parking lot there is a
dark room enclosed with a door, grilled and locked. None of the
kids were allowed to go in there. I tried peeping inside once,
but all I could see was glowing red lights on the walls and
multiple beeping sounds. (Exaggerated scene, frames more lucid,
wild, spiral, scary) At night it looked like a black hole,
sucking helpless red bugs while they scream in fear. Even right
now it was dark inside, the summer afternoon illuminating only
what's lying near the door. I could see the air pump lying close
by. I slid my hand through the grill and tried to reach for the
pump. The heat took toll on the struggle and I was sweating
profusely. After a few attempts and stretching I caught hold of
the pipe and slowly dragged it out of the room. I went back to my
cycle and fixed the air pump. I held the handle bar of the pump
and started thrusting it with all my force. After few sweaty
attempts the rear side of the cycle lifted up a few millimeters
higher due to air pressure in the wheel. It still looked flat and
I knew I required more power in my arms to push the air through
the pump into the wheel. Just when I was about to give up a pair
of arms slid from behind me and held my hands firm over the
handle. With every long and slow breath the hands pushed both our
weights on the air pump. The cycle began to rise. The left hand
left me loose while the other held my hand firm on the handle.
While I kept pumping the air the left hand grabbed my left thigh
and squeezed it softly. The new strange and uncomfortable touch
made me shut my eyes tight. I tried not to open my eyes and
waited for the moment to pass. The hand slowly started shaking my
body, tapping rhythmically.
"Get up Shanaya, you are getting late for work" the hand said.
2009, Age 23, Present
I opened my eyes in shock and found it confusing to link the
unfamiliar touch to the familiar voice, my father.
(Camera zooms out slowly, frame by frame showing the girl curled
in her bed like a baby and slowly revealing the identity of the
hand that woke her up.)
I woke up startled with my father's expression reflecting my own.
"Are you alright?"
At first I feared he could see what I just saw. But I just
nodded.
"Stop dreaming and go get ready".

2. My father often woke me up as he left for office. I sat still on
my bed, recovering from the nightmare that he awoke me from. The
strange touch was replaced by a warm assurance of safety from my
father. He got up and left my room, leaving me with bits and
pieces of my past. That summer afternoon wasn't over yet. But I
was getting late for work.
I stood under the shower, allowing the cold water to slide on my
bare body, teasing me. I wished the water could wash away the
hands that grabbed me, cleansing the dirt off my mind and body.
While changing into my clothes, I felt like my own reflection in
the mirror was glaring at me. My toes curled up and I dared not
to look at my reflection, fearing I will catch it red handed. I
felt my own eyes on myself and a few remains of the past flashed
into my head. I have to end this. I am getting late.
On my way to the office, I felt claustrophobic in the elevator;
cramped with co-workers who were unaware of the nightmare I see
everyday before coming to the office. I work at a construction
company, handling their local minor finances. I am not the
finance manager here hence my cubicle doesn't get any fancier
than the 40 others that share the same floor. (Frame shows zoom-
out of the space to show the number of cubicles, making her
presence insignificant.) Whenever my workload is less I make
plans with Varun after office. Today is one such day. (Frame
zooms in on a framed photograph of Shanaya and Varun). Varun and
I have been going around since three months now. (Frame showing
Shanaya messaging Varun from her phone "Don't forget our date at
5:30, Cafe G. Love") Varun is a fun loving guy. He is a good
listener and well organized but lacks time management (frame
shows girl looking at the wall clock) and that's why I have given
him 30 minutes to be on time. (Frame showing crowd in the
elevator, going down. One man holds the lift door for her) “I
will take the next one”. 60% of my coworkers here have a long
distance relationship. Majority of their dates happen over phone.
They are talking either on their way home, on the bus, while
taking a quick bite or like many, in the elevator. (Frame shows
her inside the elevator with people talking on phone. Few lines
of conversations) I have to get used to this soon. (Frame shows
her getting out of the elevator, towards the parking) Varun will
be leaving for Mumbai. (Frame shows Shanaya walking towards her
two-wheeler. Expression: thoughtful) He has already started
complaining. (Frame shows her wearing a scarf to cover her face,
like bandit queen) He wants more of me, emotionally and
physically. Long distance doesn't work for him. (Frame shows her
on the road, two-wheeler making noise) Our views on relationship
vary immensely.
1996, Shanaya, Age 10
(Frame zoom-in on her hand over the steering handle, brakes kept
loose)
When I was 10, I secretly used to play on my mother’s scooter. I

3. used it as my ship, preparing to sail across the sea and fly into
the clouds. (Frames show young Shanaya playing on the scooter,
active frames) Lying on my stomach, I held the steering bar and
maneuvered it through the clouds. I was so lost in my own game
that I failed to notice the hand sliding under my skirt. I
pretend to not notice and carried on my act. Mr.Hand took this
opportunity to explore me under my skirt, uninvited. His rough
beard brushed against my temple. Hot air blew out from his mouth
while he panted. I thought I was still flying through the clouds
as a tear rolled down on my cheek like a raindrop. My heart was
throbbing at the place his hands lay. He grabbed it and pressed
it so hard that I let out a cry. The clouds thundered and it
rained. I sobbed. He hushed me and straddled with me on the
scooter. The scooter made rattling sounds on its stand.
Just then I heard my mother’s voice ordering someone, “Take care
of her will you, I’m heading out.”
“Yes madam.” I stretched out my hand to call her out, my voice
caught in my throat. But she had already disappeared, leaving me
with someone she trusted. Mr.Hand had his hands on my non-
existent breast, cupping for one last time. My hands mimicked his
hands on the brakes and I pressed them tightly.
2009 Present, Age 23
I leaned forward due to the jerk and jumped form my seat with the
horns blaring loud behind me. The green light was glowing above
my head and a line of commuters stood still because of me. My
eyes were blazing with frustration and a single teardrop fought
its way out. The blast from my past brought an uneasy silence to
the rest of my ride to Café-G.
(Frame: Shanaya enters the café)
(The following random conversation suggests her issues in her
relationship with Varun)
Varun is still not on time! I gave him more time than his excuses
could cover. I need some stability in life. (Order’s over the
counter) “One espresso please. With extra sugar.” if long
distance relationship doesn’t cover that then some strong
espresso will. (Takes a sip from the cup held with both hands and
sits on a chair) I want an emotional stability; long distance
doesn’t matter if you trust each other. (Frame shows her emptying
a sachet of sugar into the coffee) How can he ask for a physical
relationship without being emotionally involved? (Frame shows her
absentmindedly stirring the coffee) All men are the same; they
just have one thing in mind.
But he is different. (Frame: camera behind her shoulders looking
at a silhouette approaching towards her) Just what I needed,
Espresso and boyfriend’s cologne. (Varun leaned forward to hug
Shanaya) “Sorry I’m late. But I have some news”
“What is it Varun?” (Please tell me you’ve decided to stay back)
(Frame: Shanaya bites her lips in anticipation)
“I have decided to stay here and complete my internship”

4. (Frame by frame: Shanaya smiles brightly, Leans forward and
kisses Varun on his cheek)
(Whispers in his ears)
“We have something to celebrate now.”
“We do?” (Varun holds her hands) “Then come over to my house
tomorrow. My parents are going out of town. We can hang out and
celebrate.” (Smirks)
“Umm…okay.” (Shanaya looks down at her empty cup)
(Outside the café)
“So I will see you tomorrow.” Varun leaned forward. We waited
till one of us gave in. Varun leaned in and kissed me softly. I
opened my eyes just as slightly to see him. I got a fright when I
saw Mr. Hand’s face instead of Varun’s. Disgusted with my own
hallucination, I turned around abruptly and murmured, “see you”.
I left him behind and walked towards my scooter. I knew my
behavior had left him unsatisfied and confused. At least there
was something to discuss when we meet next time. Tomorrow there
would be some celebration.
Back at home, my father and I often sat in the balcony and talked
about our day. He usually smoked while I sniffed in the smoke and
tried to get intoxicated. (Frames show silhouettes of her father
and her sitting out in the balcony)
“Are you getting a promotion soon at your office?”
“No dad. There is still time and more work to put in.”
The sky was clear and I tried joining some stars to form
imaginary artwork.
“Then you should work hard and be focused.”
“Yes dad, that’s what I am doing.” Yeah, right now I’m focusing
to form a bow and an arrow in the sky.
(Both stare above in the sky)
“Well, good night then. Sleep well dear.”
“I will dad.” I lied.
(Goes to sleep, goes into dream sequence)
1996, Shanaya Age 10
My family and I had just returned from a vacation. I went to the
parking lot to ride my cycle but I couldn’t find it at its usual
place. I searched around near the usual cycle stand but none went
missing except mine. I shouted out to my dad while I stood near
the stairs, “Daddy, I can’t find my cycle.”
“Watchman! Bhaiyaji help her find it please.”
A hand stroked my hair. “Yes Saaheb.”
I recognized the touch and immediately shouted at my dad, “No
daddy, please you come and help me.”
“Sweetie he knows where your cycle is. Go with him to get it.”
He had his arms around me, pulling me towards him.
“Don’t disturb Saaheb. I know where your cycle is.”
I didn’t struggle under his grip as he took me near the grilled
room. The sound of the red lighting glowing on the walls grew

5. louder as we came closer.
“Daddy!” I shouted one last time. (Stretches her arm to reach
out)
2009, Present Age 23,
(She is dreaming in her sleep, her arms stretching out in air.
She opens her eyes and camera zooms out to show her lying on her
bed. Her phone beeps and she checks her message. It is from
Varun: Stop dreaming sleepy head, I called you twice, come soon
love you. She smiles and gets off her bed)
(She brushes her teeth) Varun can be so persistent at times.
(While she puts on her clothes) Today I have to dress to undress.
(Stands in front of the mirror, skeptical about her clothes, Pant
and shirt) This might look too formal and misfit.
(top and harem pants) Too casual and it might just end up in a
coffee date.
(Skirt with spaghetti top, pleased with herself) Now this will
help me take our relationship further.
(Frame shows her ringing the bell outside Varun’s house)
(Varun opens the door)
“Hi babe, I’m…”
“I’m so glad to see you Varun.” (Shanaya hugs him tight, leaving
him a bit surprised.)
“Wow, same here babe. I’m surprised with your reaction, after the
way you left yesterday.”
“Yeah, umm…sorry about that.” (Shanaya kisses him)
(FRAMES FROM HERE ONWARDS SHOW PARALLEL SCENES OF THE PRESENT AND
THE DREAM)
(Varun takes her to his room; frames show them at the door, the
interior is darker)
(Flashes of the dream)
He opened the door for me and instructed me to go in first.
“Don’t worry. Look your cycle is kept safely inside.”
I looked in to double check if he was telling the truth. There my
pink basket could be seen peeping out of the darkness. I hurried
inside, not noticing the grills being locked behind me.
(Frame/s show Varun closing the door behind him with one hand,
while the other is around Shanaya. Shanaya begins undressing)
(Flashes of the dreams; frames showing each actions)
I tried lifting; dragging and pulling the cycle out but it
wouldn’t budge.
(Frames show the discarded clothes on the floor, noises heard in
the background, sounds like moving, breaking, giggling. “Shhhh…
my neighbors will hear us” Varun’s voice. None of them are seen
in the frames)
(Frames of the dream)
“Be quiet girl, you will disturb the monster sleeping in the

6. dark.”
I froze at that moment fearing I was trapped for good. I started
shivering and wanted to get out of that place, with or without
the cycle. “I should go now.” I turned back to face him.
(Frames of Shanaya facing Varun. Varun lifts up Shanaya, Intimate
scene, both against the wall)
(Frames of the dreams)
“Hush now, why in such a hurry?” He had his strong hands under my
shoulders. He lifted me up and locked my legs around his waist. I
felt like a lifeless puppet, mute and vulnerable.
“Let me go.” I cried.
“Now, shouldn’t I be getting something for helping you find your
cycle?”
“What do you want? Take it and let me go.”
“That’s what I’m doing dear.” (Frame showing his back blocking
Shanaya)
(Frame shows close up of Shanaya’s face- eyes closed in pain.
Suddenly she opens her eyes, frame zooms out to show Varun on top
of her, kissing her neck. She holds him away from her.)
“Varun”
“Is anything wrong Shanaya?”
(Shanaya is lying on her back, Varun on his stomach supported on
his elbows. He plays with her hair)
“Hey are you okay with the pace our relationship is going?”
“Yes, why do u ask?”
(Varun strokes Shanaya’s cheek, Shanaya fidgeting with her
fingers)
“Cause every time I try to get close to you, you become so
guarded, As if I am about to take something off you.”
“Oh no, nothing like that.”
(Silence. Empty frame. Just both of them together)(show
expression of guilt and expression of uncertainty/ suspicion)
(Shanaya strokes his cheeks)
“This really means a lot to me.”
(Varun stroke her hair)
“Me too. Then why do I sense some hesitation?”
(Shanaya leans forward to kiss his neck)
“I want to do this, with you… And do it right.”
(Varun withdraws back, holding her hand to stop her from kissing)
“I sense you have had some similar troubled encounter in the
past.”
“Hey, Lets not dig up the past and become a mood kill here”
(Thought bubble: I am such an hypocrite.)
“Don’t you think that your past may be the reason that we are
drifting apart?”
“We are? I don’t see it…” (Shanaya climbs on top of him)
(Frame shows intimate scenes between the couple.)
Varun assures that he is there for me, he understands. At least
he tries to. We make love. It feels right. He is worried about
me, repeatedly asking me if this is fine with me. Yes it is,
love.
(The next frame morphs into a scene from her past. With Mr.Hand

7. holding her arms)
It was happening again. He was back, all over me. I was getting
suffocated but couldn’t scream.
(Frame shows Mr.Hand’s back towards the entrance of the
electricity room, with a silhouette entering from the grill door)
We had company this time. He was caught off guard with his back
against the entrance and me in his grip.
(Frame shows Shanaya, Age 10, surprised to see the new comer)
(Frame Shows Varun standing behind Mr.Hand, with vengeful eyes)
(Fight sequence between Mr.Hand and Varun. A scene with the
electric wires- Varun stuffs the wires inside the guy’s pants.
The guy screams and winces in pain.
He falls down on the ground with the electric shocks from
the wires.)
(Each expression of the molesters is morphed into the expressions
of pleasure in the present scenes where the couple making love)
I want to do this, for us. For me, as I make it right for myself,
by doing it in the right way, with the right guy.
(The fight sequence and the sex sequence go parallel to bring out
the synchronization in both the acts)
(Frames show both sequences coming to a climax)
We lay in each other’s arms, securing what’s left of us. I felt
safe now. Varun has returned me the security and trust that one
deserves.
(Varun wrapped his arms around Shanaya) He just whisper calmly
into my ears, “ I will come in your dreams sweetie, and kill that
bastard you made you wait for this day.”
I giggled and slept in his arms.
(Frames: Mr.Hand curls up like a baby, shivering from the shock,
morphs into Shanaya, sleeping with Varun)
Present, Shanaya Age 23
That was the end of a cause, an urge that he fulfilled with the
help of my company. As I watched him crumpled on the ground, his
hands quivering, I thought of that summer afternoon.
While the other kids played their video games, I decided to go
out cycling in the hot afternoon. I set out from my parking lot,
passed by an old iron chair. It toppled over by the summer
breeze. I looked behind and smiled over. That was the seat the
old man took, who once took me to the dark grilled room, where
none of the other kids dared to look.