The document criticizes common business clichés and provides explanations for why they are disliked. It lists the top 10 most annoying clichés, providing examples of their overuse and suggesting better alternatives. The #1 cliché is identified as "passionate" due to its overuse by almost everyone in business to describe their work or products. In conclusion, the author encourages choosing words more carefully to be taken seriously.

1. Do you hate
business
clichés
as much
as I do?

2. Here are my
top ten
favorites in
reverse
puke-
making
order, and
why.

3. #10 - Model
No, not a glued-up plastic
toy airplane model or even
a catwalking strutting
zombie-lookalike, but a way
of doing or structuring
business. It's not a bad
analogy, really, because it
provides a reasonable description
of what it means without being a fannying
euphemism for something a lot more evil.
Predecessors include: blueprint, method, structure,
setup. Also "model" as a verb - means to copy. Why?
See "channel."

4. #9 - Google Me
Anyone over 40 or so probably
remembers teachers and parents
responding to "what does X mean?" with
the words "look it up in the dictionary."
Not only was this patronizing and boring but also it
got teachers and parents off the hook when they
didn't actually know the answer. "Google Me" is
today's equivalent from people who are, equally,
either patronizing, boring, or ignorant. And here's a
particular sneer at the pretentious twerps who say
"Google Me" rather than tell someone what they do
or even have "Google Me" with their name printed
on an otherwise blank business card.

5. #8 - Challenge
The pussyfooter's way of
suggesting something
presents potential
difficulties. If you've fallen
down a cliff face and broken
a leg, you don't have a
"challenge" - you have a
problem. And how.
If you're facing a project or job which promises you
a 99 percent risk of utter failure, let's not kid
ourselves. "Challenge" just doesn't cut it: you have
one hell of a problem. Why be shy of saying so? Why
do we need to revert to weedy words rather than
accept that sh*t happens?

6. #7 – Channel
Living in the UK the mention of
"channel" reminds me of years of
gut-wrenching sea sickness in pre-
Euro Tunnel days on the car ferry
from Dover, England to Oostend in
Belgium, when as I child I would
accompany my parents to visit my
mother's family over there. I still
don't get why "to channel" means
to copy, unless we are to assume
that copying someone or
something is likely to make us
puke up everything we have ever
eaten since our youth.

7. #6 - Share
I'm guilty of using this touchy
-feely word because it's, well, a
nice way of saying "here – get
this." But it becomes a bit weak
when people use it to replace
words/phrases like "point out,"
"bring to your notice," "shove
your ignorant little nose in," etc.
Less weedy alternatives might
be words/phrases like
"communicate," "explain,"
"point out," "emphasize," etc. "I'm sharing this health
and safety condemnation notice with you due to your
restaurant's cockroach infestation?" I don't think so.

8. #5 - Issues
To an extent "issues" belongs in the
same can of worms as "challenge,"
because it's a woolly euphemism for
"problem." With "issues," however,
you cover an even wider spectrum of
atrocities including "disasters,"
"lunacy," "severe mental disabilities,"
"global-scale catastrophes" and even
"utter meltdown."
I have heard health professionals say
someone "has issues" when the
person concerned is a diagnosed
paranoid schizophrenic.

9. #4 - Engage
"Engage" currently means
something like "pay attention
rather than fiddle with your
smartphone." It's a nice way of
saying you didn't send your
audience to sleep, or your
potential customer finally
bought something from you.
Earlier incarnations of the
word refer pre-matrimony,
usually involving an expensive
piece of jewelry, and the act of
putting a vehicle into gear
preferably without burning out
the clutch.

10. #3 - Reach out
Whenever I hear this term I think of
its homophone, retch, and usually do
so. A few seconds later I get a picture
of a sickly Dickensian orphan dressed
in rags stretching one arm out to grab
a morsel of food.
Then I realize it's someone trying to
sell me cheaper car insurance.
It means "contact" or "get in touch." Variants include
"outreach" (the act of getting in touch) and "making
outreach" (performing the act of getting in touch). Pass
the vom bucket, someone.

11. #2 - Awesome
Things you should consider as awesome: The
Palace of Versailles, the Taj Mahal, the Grand Canyon,
the Tower of London. Things you should not consider as
awesome: your friend's new ballpoint pen, the loan of a
pair of socks, being given half a sandwich, receiving
someone's business card. When tempted to misuse
"awesome," try replacing it with a word like
"overwhelming" or "wondrous." E.g. - "you'll meet me at
10:30 for coffee? Overwhelming!" ...doesn't really work,
does it?

12. #1 - Passionate
"Passionate" replaced
"committed" which replaced
"dedicated" which replaced
"enthusiastic." I have
actually seen a website
recently which described
the company's principal as
being "passionate" about
household plumbing.
Let's not fool around here: if you want to get taken
seriously, leave the "passionate" out of your business and
save it for your love life. How anyone can take this
"passionate" cr*p seriously when everyone, but everyone,
says they're "passionate" about whatever it is they do?

13. I love writing, I do it every day
both for my clients and for
myself, and it matters to me
personally - a lot.
But to say I'm "passionate"
about it - although true, if I'm
honest - gets hugely devalued by
the silly little nerds who jump
on the passionwagon and claim
they're "passionate" about
electrical wiring or truck tires.
So, "passionate" is my vote for the number one slot
here. What would your choice be?

14. Check out Suzan St Maur’s skills and more on
http://HowToWriteBetter.net
And get her latest book
“How To Write Brilliant Business Blogs,”
here … (print or Kindle)
Amazon UK
Amazon USA
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