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RunningHead:EFFECTS OFEXTENDING ROMANTICRELATIONSHIPSTOSNS 1
I am “In a Relationship:”
The Effects of Extending Romantic Relationships to Social Networking Sites
Heidi Metzler
Youngstown State University
April 6, 2015

EFFECTS OF EXTENDINGROMANTICRELATIONSHIPSTOSNS 2
Abstract
This article is a review of what romantic partners experience and the ramifications that
occur when they decide to put their relationship on social networking sites by disclosing
information, feelings, pictures, having interactions with one another and others, etc.
Surveillance, intimacy, jealousy, and relationship turbulence within social networking sites are
discussed within this article as possible variables that will affect the function and outcome of the
romantic relationships. All of these variables may work together to influence relationship
dissatisfaction to the point of dissolution, thus the use of social networking sites may be
detrimental to the survival of romantic relationships.
Keywords: Uncertainty Reduction Theory, Communication Privacy Management
Theory, SNS surveillance, jealousy, relationship turbulence, intimacy

Introduction
It’s the moment for which you have been waiting for days, months, or even years.
Today is the day. You are ready. Wait for it… “Click.” You are officially “In a relationship;”
now you wait for comments and “likes” to occur on your Facebook status. Exposing a romantic
relationship to the internet world may look appealing and wonderful now, but in a few weeks, a
month, or a year, is it likely that you will be changing your status to “It’s complicated” or even
“Single?”
Beginning a new romantic relationship is a very exciting but delicate time. It involves
constant communication in order to maintain and grow the relationship. Just looking back 10
years from now, starting a new relationship involved communicating over the phone, and face-
to-face (FtF). However, in today’s society, people have moved a vast amount of their
communication to online platforms, or computer-mediated communication (CMC). Specifically,
social networking sites (SNS), defined as online platforms that require profiles to establish
interaction and connection, are a major resource for meeting other people, maintaining
relationships, and dissolving relationships (Utz & Beukeboom, 2011). Therefore, in a romantic
relationship, it is imperative that partners communicate and engage in activities with one another.
However, involving one another in their social networking site life may cause more harm than
good.
The importance of this article is to explain how the use of social networking sites can
be detrimental to relationships, encouraging couples to keep the majority, if not all, of the
relationship off SNS. Numerous studies have looked into the effects of couples utilizing SNS
within their romantic relationships. Researchers of these studies have examined these effects in
the context of two theories that will lay the foundation of this literature review. The theories to

consider are Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT), individuals use information seeking tactics in
order to reduce uncertainty about a partner, another person, or a particular relationship (Fox,
Osborn, & Warber, 2014), and the Communication Privacy Management Theory (CPMT), a
sender and receiver co-create rules of appropriateness of sharing the sender’s disclosures with
others outside of the relationship (Bazarova, 2012). The fundamentals of the URT aid in
explaining why people feel the need to disclose intimate information on SNS and monitor others’
behaviors to gain stability and security in knowledge. At the same time, CPMT contributes to
explaining that potential problems can occur if one partner or person violates the co-created rules
and discloses too much intimate information. These violations could lead to relationship
jealousy into relationship turbulence. Therefore, this literature review examines the effects of
social networking sites on romantic relationships, indicating that couples are likely to experience
relationship dissolution as a result of SNS use. Multiple variables, which include surveillance,
intimacy, jealousy, and relationship turbulence, help explain why infiltration of romantic
relationships into social networking sites may affect partners negatively.
Variables of Partner Communication
SNS Surveillance
Surveillance behaviors are common on social networking sites within romantic
relationships. SNS surveillance is defined as the act of monitoring online behaviors to
specifically gain knowledge of any infidelity of a romantic partner without his/her knowledge of
such behavior (Helsper & Whitty, 2010). Trying to find out if a partner is cheating in the
relationship has been a well-established goal throughout many generations. People have
attempted to hire private investigators, go through partner’s trash, answer a partner’s phone, and
tail a partner’s car to find out where he/she is going after work to name a few tactics. However,

as social networking sites have become a prominent aspect to everyday life, many couples
transfer such behavior to an online activity. In fact, people’s perceptions are more accepting
toward social networking site surveillance than traditional surveillance (reading emails, text
messages, mail, etc.) (Utz & Beukeboom, 2011). This new acceptable schema toward
surveillance enables more people to shamelessly engage in the activity as soon as a relationship
begins until it ends. For example, in the beginning stages of a romantic relationship, Couch,
Liamputtong, and Pitts (2011), looked at the importance people placed on using online
surveillance to determine the partner’s authenticity and compatibility. Surveillance is done as a
precautionary behavior that protects a person from being deceived (2011). This is a perfect
example of utilizing URT (Bazarova, 2012) as people work to decrease their uncertainty of a
potential partner’s credibility, so there can be an increase in trust between the individuals.
Although this particular motivator provokes people to seek information in new found
relationships, the need to decrease deception and maintain surveillance behaviors remain
throughout the development in relationships.
Examining couples that are in developed, romantic relationships, Darvell, Walsh, and
White (2011) used questionnaires to conclude that people’s attitudes toward surveillance
behaviors and subjective norms, or peer pressure, will directly affect their intentions of engaging
in those behaviors. In fact, there is a positive correlation between intentions and the behaviors
(2011). If people intend to participate in surveillance behaviors with a positive attitude towards
that action, they will more than likely monitor their partner’s behavior online (2011). Another
factor that could affect a person’s attitude towards online surveillance may be the amount of
dependence power a partner feels. Looking at levels of dependence power partners have within a
relationship, Samp and Palevitz (2014) discovered that there is a negative correlation between

the level of dependence power and engaging in monitoring behaviors. To better understand this
finding, dependence power is defined as the amount of independence and control one has over
the relationship (2014). Therefore, people who have less control over the relationship and are
more dependent on one’s partner will be more likely to engage in SNS surveillance. This way,
the partner participating in the behavior gains some control over the relationship by reducing
uncertainty and increasing knowledge of his/her partner’s feeling or behaviors that have been
disclosed on SNS.
When a couple enters into marriage, they experience a similar amount of commitment
and dependence to one another; therefore, the levels of dependence power have leveled out
between the couple. Helsper and Whitty (2010) look at how couples behave in a committed
relationship such as marriage and confirmed through online surveys that there is a high level of
surveillance use amongst married couples. Specifically, both partners were likely to engage in
the monitoring behaviors verses only one of the partners (2011). Combining results from the two
previous studies, they work together to suggest that couples, who move to a legally committed
stage, experience a decreases in dependence power which increases the need for surveillance
behaviors.
Therefore, no matter if couples begin a relationship or move the relationship to the final
stages, it is evident that individuals incorporate surveillance behaviors as a part of their
interdependent, romantic relationships. It is a main tool for reducing uncertainty between
partners. Overall, these studies suggest that people are more open, accepting, and likely to using
SNS surveillance regardless of the current romantic relationship stage.
Intimacy

Aside from surveillance behaviors, intimacy between partners influence the way they
interact on social networking sites. To accurately display intimacy, it is vital to understand how
couples communicate in online platforms. Intimacy is considered a certain level of closeness
between two people that possess an amount of trust to disclose information to one another
(Bazarova, 2012). While some people love to display personal information to their online
network, individuals reading that intimate material may deem it inappropriate, especially, if it is
intimate information involving that individual and his or her partner. For example, Bazarova
(2012) concluded when communicating to a partner, it is more acceptable to show intimacy and
disclose intimate information in the private messages of SNS. If disclosures are made in public
messages like wall posts and status updates, the information is viewed as less intimate than it
would have been in a private message (2012). The findings of this study imply that strategically
placing information on social networking sites is essential when in a romantic relationship.
Furthermore, disclosing intimate information for the public’s view can lessen the feeling of
intimacy and level of closeness between couples.
In order to prevent hurt feelings, couples work to create a similar SNS presence.
According to Papp, Danielewicz, & Cayemburg (2012), it is a natural desire for couples to mirror
one another’s relationship presentation and Facebook intensity, so both partners will work
toward expressing the same level of intimacy on SNS. Therefore, individuals will adjust the way
they use, emotionally connect, and involve themselves in SNS such as Facebook (2012). In
addition, partners replicate actions on Facebook to show a level of connectedness and exclusivity
(2012). This is an attempt to maintain the relationship, while avoiding any inconsistencies of
showing intimacy and commitment. In fact, partners work together to create norms as guidelines
to what is and is not acceptable behavior in SNS. Looking at particularly advanced, romantic

relationships, Helsper and Whitty (2010) determined that married couples co-establish what is
considered etiquette online when participating in intimate disclosures. For example, married
couples agree that cybersex, disclosing sexual fantasies which lead to sexual arousal, and falling
in love are the most unaccepted intimate behaviors that a partner could participate in online
(2011). These are just two of many behaviors such as: flirting, emotional infidelity,
pornography, etc., which partners could intimately engage in on SNS. With these findings, it is
apparent that romantic couples develop norms of online intimacy that aid in maintaining an
acceptable balance of displaying intimate disclosures from each partner.
Jealousy
When the balance of intimate disclosures goes awry, it results in jealousy. Social
networking sites have the perfect atmosphere to create jealousy within a relationship.
Specifically, SNS jealousy is a negative emotion that can damage a relationship simply by using
SNS (Utz & Beukeboom, 2011). Although many people can state that they lack jealous
tendencies or feelings, couples who expose themselves in an online public forum cannot escape
jealousy because there are many factors that can contribute to feelings of jealousy. According to
Elphinston and Noller (2011), there is a positive correlation between Facebook use and jealousy,
specifically in romantic relationships. Just by using SNS like Facebook, individuals are
witnessing the content and behaviors of other people that could provoke jealous feelings whether
the content and behaviors stem from their partners or third parties such as ex-partners or
potential partners. Either way, individuals are programed to see potential threats offline and
online. Unfortunately, hundreds if not thousands of people are present within one person’s social
network that can be perceived as potential threats in a concentrated space, a person’s SNS page.

Because of the overabundance of potential threats to the relationship, it is only logical
that partners feel the need to engage in monitoring behaviors whether it is small actions like
posting something small on a partner’s wall or more substantial like, updating statuses that are
full of romantic disclosures. However, trying to fulfill this need creates a cyclical event as Utz
and Beukebom (2011) uncovered, indicating that grooming and monitoring behaviors are a
major cause of jealousy. Numerous partners fall victim to this cycle due to the uncertainty
reduction theory that provides positive and negative feelings. This theory suggests that people
will seek out information to reduce uncertainty about his or her partner or another person (Fox et
al. 2014). Therefore, partners on SNS will monitor one another’s behaviors and content to
reduce uncertainty they feel within the relationship regarding fidelity. In the same token, couples
who reduce their uncertainty and find some type of infidelity or perhaps a threatening third party
can experience jealousy that results into relationship dissatisfaction. Specifically, jealousy that
was cultivated on Facebook stemmed from individuals uncovering their partner’s new attractive
friends, flirtatious comments, comments from outside friends, and photos of the partner and
another person (2014). As participants in this study noted that these findings were judged as
unacceptable in the romantic relationship, Fox et al. (2014) indicated that jealousy has a
substantial influence on relational struggles. Examining the work of Utz and Beukebom (2011),
Elphinston and Noller (2011), and Fox et al. (2014), it is evident that people in romantic
relationships who actively use Facebook are prone to experience jealousy.
Relationship Turbulence
As jealousy festers in a relationship, it is evident that relational turbulence follows shortly
after. Due to the use of social networking sites, partners are prone to experience relationship
turbulence. There is something addictive about SNS that people can become attached to the sites

to the point of causing negative repercussions. Elphinston & Noller (2011) have found within
their research via online questionnaires to university students that there is a positive correlation
between Facebook intrusion and relationship dissatisfaction. Facebook intrusion is defined as a
certain level of dependency on Facebook that affects and disrupts daily functioning within a
relationship; therefore, being dependent on a SNS, like Facebook, can create difficulties in
maintaining a relationship (2011).
When couples decide to pursue a relationship and work to maintain it, there are certain
turning points, or milestones throughout that are shared between the couple. SNS, specifically
Facebook, has catered to people who want to disclose milestones by offering timelines, events,
and status updates. For individuals in romantic relationships, Facebook has provided options to
describe relationship status which include: single, in a relationship, it’s complicated, engaged,
and married. Choosing an option to reveal the romantic status to one’s social network for all to
see in known as going “Facebook official” (Fox et al. 2014). However, Facebook statuses can
cause relational conflict (Papp et al. 2012) specifically when there is a lack of congruence
towards partners becoming “Facebook official” and changing the relationship status (Fox et al.
2014). In our SNS dependent society today, changing a relationship status is a monumental step
in a relationship, and partners as well as social networks will measure the relationships
seriousness, commitment, and stability. Unfortunately, this study showed when only one of the
partners in the relationship made it “Facebook official,” it would cause instability and
uncertainty, thus revisiting and completing the cyclical event. Therefore, couples who are
divided on the subject of making their relationship Facebook official could provoke monitoring
behaviors, jealousy, and ultimately increase relational turbulence exponentially.

There is a definite presence of relational turbulence that can arise solely from behaviors
that occur between partners on SNS. However, a new dimension occurs as a third party begins
to interact with one or both partners. When an individual views conversations between a rival
and romantic partner, one is more likely to experience negative emotions toward the relationship
if a rival has an attractive profile picture, uses emoticons or nonverbal cues such as “liking”
photos, statuses, wall posts, etc. (Fleuriet, Cole, & Guerrero, 2014). Rivals are not as threatening
if they communicate in text-based only; in contrast, rivals who use wink-face emoticons are
perceived as especially threatening to a romantic partner (2014). Therefore, viewing
communication between a rival and romantic partner causes negative emotions between the
couple which propels them toward relational turbulence and relationship dissatisfaction. In
general, all of these studies suggest that relationship turbulence is a likely occurrence when
romantic partners are active on social networking sites.
Research Question and Hypothesis
As couples experience relationship turbulence due to online activity, partners must
determine the next step to solve the conflict or tension. It is evident that SNS is a factor to
consider when involved in a romantic relationship because it will have an impact on the
relationship functions. Encapsulating all of the articles discussed in this paper, findings suggest
that when romantic partners are active on social networking sites, the increased desire to utilize
surveillance behaviors (Couch et al. 2011) and violations of established etiquette of disclosing
intimate information (Helsper & Whitty, 2010) provoke jealousy that result into conflict and
relational turbulence (Fox et al. 2014); however, no studies examine long-term effects or
outcomes of these variables on romantic relationships. Viewing these studies, there appears to be

a cyclical event that happens when couples put their relationship on SNS which leads me to
propose a research question and hypothesis for future researchers to consider:
RQ1: As romantic couples use online social networking sites, is there a positive
correlation between increased monitoring behaviors and the probability of dissolution?
H1: Couples who use social networking sites are more likely to dissolve the relationship
than those who do not use social networking sites.
Limitations and Future Research
Although these studies provide stimulating results, there are some limitations to consider.
Firstly, the majority of the studies were unable to get an accurate representative sample of
participants. The majority of researchers recruited young, female, college students. However,
people from all stages of life, both sexes, and all ages are avid SNS users, especially considering
Facebook. Furthermore, Fleureit et al. (2014) and Bazarova (2012) required participants to look
at hypothetical scenarios rather than participating in real-life scenarios. Participants gave
emotional responses to questionnaires and interviewers regarding hypothetical situations which
could be drastically different when they experience it in real life, thus results could be skewed.
And finally, Darvell et al. (2011) and Helsper and Whitty (2010) failed to define or clarify
certain concepts to participants which left those concepts for individual interpretation making
results unclear and possibly inaccurate. Overall, future research should be sure to clearly define
all concepts for participants, choose a better representative sample including older people of all
ages and ethnicities, and finally, conducting real life scenarios for participants to explore.
Conclusion
In conclusion, SNS inevitably affects the way romantic partners communicate and
maintain the relationship. Moreover, incorporating communication via SNS is more costly to the

relationship eventually leading to dissolution rather than improving closeness and stability. This
research paper examined variables of surveillance behaviors, intimate disclosures, jealousy, and
relationship turbulence that could increase the probability of relationship dissolution. All of
these variables contribute gain better understanding of how social networking sites can influence
romantic relationships in a negative manner. With the understanding of how social media can
take a toll on relationships, couples should caution each other to never be friends, followers or
endorsers online, so that they have more of a chance to grow as romantic partners.

References
Bazarova, N. N. (2012). Public intimacy: Disclosure interpretation and social judgments on
Facebook. Journal of Communication, 62(5), 815-832. doi:10.1111/j.1460-
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Couch, D., Liamputtong, P., & Pitts, M. (2011). Online daters and the use of technology for
surveillance and risk management. International Journal of Emerging Technologies &
Society, 9(2), 116-134.
Darvell, M. J., Walsh, S. P., & White, K. M. (2011). Facebook tells me so: Applying the theory
of planned behavior to understand partner-monitoring behavior on Facebook.
Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking, 14(12), 717-722.
doi:10.1089/cyber.2011.0035
Elphinston, R. A., & Noller, P. (2011). Time to face it! Facebook intrusion and the implications
for romantic jealousy and relationship satisfaction. Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social
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Fleuriet, C., Cole, M., & Guerrero, L. (2014). Exploring Facebook: attachment style and
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Facebook postings. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 38(4), 429-450. doi:10.1007/s10919-
014-0189-x
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The role of Facebook in romantic relationship escalation, maintenance, conflict, and
dissolution. Computers in Human Behavior, 35, 527-534. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2014.02.031

Helsper, E. J., & Whitty, M. T. (2010). Netiquette within married couples: Agreement about
acceptable online behavior and surveillance between partners. Computers in Human
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Papp, L. M., Danielewicz, J., & Cayemberg, C. (2012). 'Are we Facebook official?' Implications
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Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking, 15(2), 85-90.
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The influence of dependence power on verbal versus nonverbal responses. Journal of
Nonverbal Behavior, 38(4), 477-493. doi:10.1007/s10919-014-0197-x
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