Presented by Tami DeCoteau
I’ve entitled my presentation “Relationships Matter” because I am going to talk to you about the important bond between a child and his caregiver, and how that bond occurs and how it impacts the child at all level of development.
2. Office of Indian Education
MN Dept. of Education
Unique features of relationships of American Indians
parenting
3. American Indian Parenting
Traditions
“A woman may give birth to
many children. To all she gives
food, care, and a place near her.
To each she gives a portion of
herself; to each she assigns a
place in the household….A
mother gives equally to all of
her children, from first to last,
from strong to weak. All are
entitled to a place near her...
Her gift does not diminish but
increases and renews itself.”
- Basil Johnston
4. What is attachment?
Interactive; Nonverbal communication
Attachment is a system in the brain that that develops to ensure
infant safety and survival
The comfort, pleasure, and calm and balanced attuned interaction
between the infant and caregiver creates a sense of safety within the
infant
Secure attachment refers to the mutually attuned bond of trust
between the primary caretaker and the child
Forms the basis for all future relationships; sense of self-worth;
resilience to stress; ability to regulate own emotions; make sense of
life; create meaningful connections with others
5. How does attachment form?
Primary Intersubjectivity – Infant and parents discovery of
each other
Person-to-Person relationship
Secondary Intersubjectivity – Infant’s discovery of the
world (people, objects, and events) through experiencing
the impact of the world on his parents
Person-to-Person-to-Object
Intersubjectivity – Awareness of shared perceptions and
understandings that provide the foundation for social
interaction
6. Intersubjectivity & Attunement
Shared Emotion
Infant feels receptive to and
connected to his parent
He co-regulates his affective
state with his parent’s
affective state
He learns to regulate his own
affective state
7. Intersubjectivity & Attunement
Shared Attention & Shared Intention
Infant begins to reflect on his
inner life of thought, affect
and intention
Infant begins to reflect on
the inner lives of his parents
He is able to co-create the
meaning of the people,
objects, and events in his life
Joint Attention
Joint Intention
8. How is attachment related to
development?
Interactions with others (positive and negative) stimulates
regions of the brain responsible for attachment
Communication patterns (verbal and nonverbal) influence the
child’s mental process
Safe and secure communication is necessary to establish secure
attachment
Establishes the basis on which the child will form relationships
with others; his sense of security about exploring the world; his
resilience to stress; his ability to balance his emotions, make sense
of his life, and create meaningful interpersonal relationships in the
future.
9. How does trauma and neglect
affect the brain?
If the attachment region
of the brain is not
properly stimulated at
the critical period of
development, then that
region and all other
regions below and above
it are affected 2005 Bruce Perry
11. Activity Across Brain Regions
Brain Region Functions Critical
Period
Experiences
needed
Functional
Maturity
Cortex Thinking,
Planning,
Reasoning,
Creativity, &
Sensory
Integration
3 - 6 years Complex
conversations,
social
interactions,
exploration, safe,
fed, secure
Adult
Limbic Emotion,
Attachment
Memory, &
Sensory
Integration
1 - 4 years Complex
movement, social
experience,
narrative
Puberty
Diencephalon Sensory Motor &
Sensory
Processing :
6 months - 2
years
Complex
rhythmic
movement,
simple narrative,
affection
Childhood
Brain Stem State Regulation &
Sensory
Processing
In utero – 9
months
Rhythmic,
patterned input,
engaged
caregiving
Infancy
12. Brain Development
Bottom Up – from primitive to most complex
Brain development is sequential. More complex
systems are dependent on development of less
complex systems.
For normal brain development to occur there must
be specific patterns of activity at specific times
during development = sensitive periods
Experiences (positive or negative) during sensitive
periods organizes brain systems.
Therefore, trauma during early childhood can effect
all future functional capabilities!
13. How does trauma and neglect
affect attachment?
Insecure attachments arise
from repeated experiences of
failed emotional connection
Abuse; neglect; trauma;
prolonged separation; multiple
caregivers; maternal
depression and/or substance
addiction; lack of harmony
between child and parent;
inexperience mother with poor
parenting skills
Insecure attachment is
passed on from one
generation to the next unless
repair occurs
14. Insecure Attachment
Avoidant – Parent is unavailable or rejecting. Child adapts
by avoiding closeness and emotional connection
Ambivalent – Parents’ communication is inconsistent.
The child cannot depend on the parent for attunement.
He develops anxiety and feelings of insecurity
Disorganized – Child’s needs are ignored and parents
behavior is a source of terror and disorientation. Child
feels overwhelmed, frightened, and traumatized and
attachment becomes disorganized and chaotic.
Problems with regulation of emotions, social
communication, academic abilities, and severe emotional
problems
15. How does attachment affect
neurological state and vice versa?
Dysregulated Mother Dysregulated Infant
Depressed
Anxious
Stressed
Avoids direct eye contact
Tunes out
Frustration or anger
Up & down/unpredictable
emotions
Cries
Clench fist
Rigid body or arches back
Eyes shut
Shuts down
Acceleration of the nervous
system
Mixed withdrawn, clingy,
fearful
16. What is Reactive Attachment
Disorder?Mental Health Disorder; Severe Insecure Attachment
defiance; manipulative or controlling patterns; little or no
conscience; frequent and intense anger outbursts;
destructive to self, others, and property; gorging or hoarding
food; and preoccupation with fire, blood, or violence
The child cannot form positive, lasting relationships
Often incorrectly diagnosed as several behavioral
disturbance and ADHD
DSM 5
“The prevalence of reactive attachment disorder is unknown, but the
disorder is seen relatively rarely n clinical settings. The disorder has
been found in young children exposed to severe neglect before being
placed in foster care or raised in institutions. However, even in
populations of severely neglected children, the disorder is uncommon,
occurring in less than 10% of such children.”
17. How can attachment problems be
repaired?
Help the child & parent regulate their affect
Create safety
Focus on intersubjective experiences – shared emotion, shared
attention, shared intention.
Provide empathy and curiosity
Respond to the child’s emotional needs
Provide structure and supervision
Restore harmony and order
20. Citations
Karen, R. 1998. Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They
Shape Our Capacity to Love. Oxford Press, New York, NY.
Perry, B. 2009. Examining Child Maltreatment Through a
Neurodevelopmental Lens: Clinical Applications of the
Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics. Journal of Loss and Trauma,
14:240-255.
Trevarthen, Colwyn, & Kenneth J. Aitken. 2001. Infant
Intersubjectivity: Research, Theory, and Clinical Applications. Journal
of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 42, 3 – 48.
Editor's Notes
I’ve entitled my presentation “Relationships Matter” because I am going to talk to you about the important bond between a child and his caregiver, and how that bond occurs and how it impacts the child at all level’s of development.
Office of Indian Education/MN dept. of Education
Diagram shows the unique features of American Indian family structures and relationships
It illustrates that the family is the center of American Indian culture. And closely tied to the family are the roles played by family members, the functions of the family, the customs surrounding family life and the spiritual dimension of family
The American Indian family includes a wide circle of relatives who share responsibilities. Family, therefore, includes more than parents and children.
American Indian parenting traditions demonstrate the belief that children should be loved and cherished. Love is shown by parents and other family members who provide for the child’s needs.
American Indian Parenting traditions also include the belief that children should not be disciplined too harshly because to do so would destroy the spirit of the child. Instead, through encouragement and gentle discipline, children learned to be responsible.
In the old ways, gender and family roles and responsibilities were clear. Women were traditionally been responsible for the home and men have been the providers and protectors. But the concept of equality was paramount. There was no distinction in sex; no notion of inferiority or superiority. It was not unheard of for role reversal to occur and when it did occur the community did not condemn such behavior.
Basil Johnston, author of many books about Ojibwe life and culture, In describing the role of mother, he says, ---
This quote refers to food and physical care-taking, but I also believe it refers to the attachment bond between the mother and her child – a place near; a portion of herself; - her gift does nto diminish but increases – a reference to unconditional love
Attachment is an interactive process involving non-verbal communication.
It is an evolutionary fact that our brains are structured to connect to one another.
Attachment is a system….
The comfort…..
Secure attachment…..
Attuned – make receptive or aware
Mutually attuned – receptive or aware of one another
Attachment forms the basis for all future relationships…..
Attachment forms through intersubjective experiences - Intersubjectivity – psychological relation between people; experiences between people (rather than individual experience)
eye contact
Primary Subjectivity refers to the face-to-face exchanges in a person-to-person relationship• facial expression • tone of voice • speech rhythm and rate • posture • gesture • body movement • timing, intensity and voice modulation
Primary – begins at about 2 months.
Secondary Intersubjectivity – which begins around 9 mos. Intentional communication with others about object – joint attention. Co-experience.
These experienced develops in a child the understanding what the other person sees, knows, thinks, and feels – and provides her foundation for all other relationships!
Intersubjectivity has 3 important components.
The first is Shared Emotion…
When a baby cries what does an attuned parent do?
Intersubjectivity also involves shared attention and shared intention.
Shared attention is focusing on the same thing.
Shared intention is doing something together.
Through these intersubjective experiences the infant begins to reflect on his
inner thought; emotions and intentions,
As well as those of his parents
Through this experience he is able to apply meaning to his world.
Interactions with others stimulates….
Without those interactions the brain is not properly stimulated and cannot properly develop.
Communication patterns…(actions and words)
Safe and secure….
A securely attached child will have the ability to form he will feel safe in his world; he will be resilient to stress; he will be able to balance his emotions; he will be able to make sense of his life; and he will be able to establish and maintain healthy relationships with others
Without such secure attachment the child will impaired in his ability to do any of these.
Insecure attachment arises from repeated experiences of failed emotional connection between the child and his caregiver.
Insecure attachment is….
The assimilation policies of the federal government, particularly the one that involved sending young Indian children to boarding schools, continues to have a tremendous detrimental effect on Indian views and practices about parenting
This history has led to a generational pattern of insecure attachment – the trauma perpetuates itself.
We all learn to parent from our experience of being parented ourselves
If either parent or child is unable to maintain a calm and balanced nervous state, the attachment bond will be compromised. Both infant and caretaker must feel calm and be focused for positive attachment to occur. When an infant is so dis-regulated that all they do is clench their fists, and scream with their eyes tightly closed or the mother is so depressed or caught up in her own needs that she misses her child's cues for engagement and comfort, opportunities for attachment will be missed.
example – disorganized attachment in 6 month old infant.
1/3 attuned interaction is necessary for secure attachment to occur.
The first step in healing poor attachment is to bring about a calm and focused state in both parties.
Attachment is akin to falling in love, but can't begin until both parties feel safe in their bodies and safe with one another. When adults are anxious, mad, tuned out or overwhelmed, they will not be able to make an attuned connection with a child.
Focus on intersubjective experiences - The shared positive emotional experiences of joy are as important to the attachment bond as the shared negative emotional experiences of fear, sadness, anger and shame. A strong attachment bond includes the full range of shared emotional experience. In fact, it is usually more important to share a negative state with a child than to problem solve. Sharing enables children to learn to solve problems for themselves.
Provide empathy and curiosity – examples….”This is really scary for you”; ”I notice that you don’t look me in the eye very often. I wondering if your having trouble trusting me.”
Respond to the child’s emotional needs – rather than their behavior. Rather than – “your not doing your chores!” “I see that your having trouble doing your chores today. Something must be upsetting you.”
Structure and supervision. – provides safety and security. Children need routines and limits. Children love repetition.
Rupture and repair is a crucial part of secure attachment. No matter how much we love our children, there comes a point where we are not in agreement with them, a point when we have to set limits, and say "no." This is usually a point of conflict in the relationship. Conflict is normal but the rupture in the relationship must be repaired right away.
Developed by Daniel Hughes –
PACE – unconditional love is expressed through playfulness, acceptance, curiosity, and empathy
PACE parenting still provides appropriate boundaries and limits, together with warmth and nurture. The connection that PACE creates with our children however means that this parenting is received as fully unconditional.
If children feel loved and trusted. They in turn can love and trust others.