This chapter discusses managing conflict in relationships. It identifies factors that can lead to productive or unproductive conflict, such as inaccurate perceptions, incompatible goals, or provocation. Conflict triggers include aggression, identity threats, or lack of fairness. How people handle conflict is influenced by power dynamics, culture, gender differences, communication channels, and anonymity online. Strategies for managing conflict include escapist, challenging, or cooperative approaches. Outcomes can include compromise, win-win resolutions where both sides' goals are met, lose-lose where neither side wins, separation, or allocating decision-making power.

1. Chapter 8
Managing Conflict
in Relationships

2. • Describe the factors that lead to
productive conflict
• Identify conflict triggers in yourself
and others
• Explain the forces that influence how
people handle conflict
Chapter Outcomes

3. • Evaluate and employ strategies for
managing conflict in different
situations
• Compare levels of resolution in
conflict outcomes
Chapter Outcomes
(cont.)

4. A negative interaction
between two or
more interdependent
people, rooted in
some actual or
perceived
disagreement
Conflict

5. The way we engage
in conflict and address
disagreements with
our relational
partners
Conflict
Management

6. Unproductive Conflict
• Conflict that is managed poorly
• Has a negative impact on the
individuals and the relationship
• Can lead to health problems
• Leads to aggression in the
relationship

7. Productive Conflict
• Conflict that is managed effectively
• Fosters healthy debate when people
are actively engaged
• Leads to better decision making
• Spurs relationship growth

8. • Inaccurate perceptions
• Incompatible goals
• Unbalanced costs and
rewards
• Provocation, or the
intentional instigation
of conflict
Conflict Triggers

9. Conflict Triggers (cont.)
• Events that spark conflict:
– Aggression
– Identity management
– Lack of fairness
– Incompetence
– Relationship threats

10. • Power Dynamics
– Differences in power
related to:
• Resources
• Feelings
• Anything the
other values
Factors Affecting
Conflict

11. • Culture and Conflict
– Individualistic cultures:
• Emphasize personal needs,
rights, and identity
• “I” attitude
– Collectivistic cultures:
• Emphasize group identity and needs
• “We” attitude
Factors Affecting
Conflict (cont.)

12. • Attitudes toward conflict:
– Affect how willing you are to discuss
disagreements
– Affect how productively you handle
conflict
– Affect willingness to discuss certain
topics (communication boundary
management)
Factors Affecting
Conflict (cont.)

13. • Communication Climate
Factors Affecting
Conflict (cont.)

14. • Culture and Conflict (cont.)
– Gender differences:
• Criticism and complaints
• Contempt
• Defensiveness
• Stonewalling
Factors Affecting
Conflict (cont.)

15. • Communication Channel
– Poor channel choices can lead to
conflict.
– Channel choice affects
conflict management.
Factors Affecting
Conflict (cont.)

16. Factors Affecting
Conflict (cont.)
• Online Anonymity and Conflict
– Electronic media has created new
sources of unproductive conflict.
• Flaming
• Trolling
• Cyberbullying

17. • Escapist strategies:
– Try to prevent or avoid direct conflict
– Used for various reasons,
such as personal
safety, practicality,
strategy
Strategies for
Managing Conflict

18. • Challenging strategies:
– Promote the objectives of the
individual who uses them
(assertiveness)
– Get what you want without
letting anxiety, guilt, or
embarrassment get in the
way
– Create a winner and a loser
Strategies for
Managing Conflict (cont.)

19. • Cooperative strategies:
– Focus on issues instead of verbal
aggressiveness
– Debate and argue using probing
questions or playing devil’s advocate
– Consider options and alternatives
– Consider the importance of the outcome
– Reassure your partner
Strategies for
Managing Conflict (cont.)

20. • Compromise
– Both sides give up a little to get a
little
– Can be arrived at through trading or
random selection
– Has disadvantages for long-term
important relationships
Conflict Outcomes

21. • Win-Win
– Both parties meet their
own goals.
– Each party helps the
other party with his/her
goals.
– The relationship is
improved.
Conflict Outcomes
(cont.)

22. • Lose-Lose
– Neither party gets what he/she wants.
• Separation
– Remove yourself from the situation to
end the conflict.
• Allocation of Power
– Take responsibility for some decisions.
Conflict Outcomes
(cont.)