1. Karl Sather
Reaction Paper #2
Family Violence
Fall 2014
Intimate Partner Violence, or IPV, is a global issue that has been largely ignored
throughout history and has been poorly addressed up to this day. IPV is an issue that
disproportionally affects women wherever one is to look. Crime databases, self-report
surveys, and data from community-based social service institutions all support this claim,
(Ferraro 2006:51-53). What is alarming is that situations of IPV, whether in the United
Kingdom or the United States, have similar causal effects and outcomes. It’s time for us as a
people to examine why this is and how IPV could exist as a global phenomenon and garner
relatively no attention from the media, public discourse, or legal policy.
In the following paragraphs, I seek to describe why IPV has become the issue that it
has. Furthermore, I will rely heavily on the examination of patriarchy in society and the
outcomes this ideology has on legal proceedings. Finally, I will conclude this paper by
reflecting on the concept of IPV while discussing some possible solutions aimed at
mitigating the prevalence of IPV in society.
The United States is defined as a patriarchal society, meaning that men hold power
in most institutions in society- whether it be government, family, medicine, or economics. If
we examine patriarchy only as a construction of society, we are missing a big piece of the
puzzle. Ferraro (2006) claims that patriarchy is most accurately viewed when it is being
looked at as an ideology. An ideology is a set of beliefs that has the power to silently make
its way into all facets of society and guide the practices of the institutions that govern and
police our behavior. Many people in the United States would argue that we live in a free and
equal democratic society that promotes egalitarianism, in that we all reserve the right to
have our voices be heard. This is true, but only to a point. Ferraro (2006) explains, “Women

2. Karl Sather
Reaction Paper #2
Family Violence
Fall 2014
are no longer excluded from political participation in the United States, but their
representation is far below their majority position in population,” (p. 79). Though women
are free to participate in political action, that does not mean that our society is egalitarian
by any means.
An ideology has the power to guide behavior and solidify a group’s position in
society without the individual having any idea this is happening. Gender roles are a great
example of this. Women are expected to take on a submissive, passive, supportive and
nurturing role. Men are expected to be tough and assertive leaders in society. Women are
all but trained to be “their natural, appropriate followers and helpmates,” (Ferraro
2006:79). Until one sits down and truly examines the structure of society, or lives through
oppression, the stratification of society has the tendency to be glossed over or easily lost on
most, thus perpetuating the construction of inequality itself.
The stratification of a group is best described by the subordinate’s position in
society. This is what Michael Foucault calls “subjugated knowledge” and what feminists call
“standpoint theory,” (Ferraro 2006). Standpoint theory, as discussed in class, can best be
described using the analogy of a forest. If one is to fly over the forest, they only see the
canopies of trees and the vegetation that blooms in the light of the sun. If one were to walk
through the forest, they would see the ground floor vegetation, the roots of the trees, and
the ecosystem that produces the canopy vegetation. Similarly, those who enjoy the
privilege of being on the top of the stratification ladder may only see society at a superficial
level, while those who are subjugated by oppression have a more accurate view of how
society is truly constructed and how oppression comes into play. This may be one of the

3. Karl Sather
Reaction Paper #2
Family Violence
Fall 2014
main reasons patriarchy has not been addressed and how women are continually treated
unfairly in virtually all facets of society.
The true consequences of patriarchy and its far-reaching effects can be best
described by the Power and Control Wheel developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention
Project in Duluth, Minnesota. The Power and Control wheel does an excellent job at
presenting how cultural forces can affect institutions, how institutions can affect personal
behavior, and vice versa. The ideology of patriarchy, as it creeps into institutional practices
and cultural norms, can offer insight as to how IPV disproportionally affects women, and
why it is poorly dealt with in the Criminal Justice System. When the issue of IPV is not
effectively dealt with and an abuser is not punished or rehabilitated, conditions are created
that allow IPV to reproduce itself and spread further and further throughout society.
When a police officer arrives on the scene of an IPV call, they are responding solely
to the event that occurred at the time, disregarding prior history that lead up to the event.
In this case, women’s expert knowledge is largely ignored (Ferraro 2006). The response to
an IPV incident is usually the recommendation of an order of protection or arrest. But, as
many women have found out, an order of protection is simply “a piece of paper that means
nothing to their abusers and is not enforced by police,” (Ferraro 2006:51).
Abusive partners will stop at nothing short of murder to remain in control within
the relationship. Men, living in a patriarchal society, have grown up with a sense of
entitlement that teaches them to expect to be in positions of control, with women being
their direct subordinates. This culture of entitlement makes its way into our courtrooms,

4. Karl Sather
Reaction Paper #2
Family Violence
Fall 2014
which I argue is one of the main issues that must be dealt with to mitigate the reproduction
of IPV.
Women who have fallen victim to chronic IPV have had plenty of experience in
dealing with the law in relation to IPV. Most would say that the law is an enemy, rather
than a friend to their pain. When women work up the courage to press charges and testify
against their partner, the defense will stop at nothing to devalue the woman’s testimony.
The most common way this is done is by attempting to mitigate the severity of the situation
by playing on personal characteristics of the affected woman.
Ferraro (2006) explains one of these situations in her work. Dianne was a working-
class woman who provided for herself, worked hard, and spent a lot of her time hanging
out in bars playing pool. The prosecuting attorney played on these characteristics and spun
them out of context, downplaying the historical factors that lead up to repeated cases of
physical and psychological abuse. The prosecutor painted Dianne as a “tough woman who
could defend herself physically, and as an ‘outrageous flirt,’” (p. 66). Even after testimony
by family and friends supporting the claim that Dianne’s partner was an extremely
possessive partner who brutally beat her on a common basis, this prosecution put forth by
a male attorney, heard by a male judge was enough to sentence Dianne to prison for 5 years
for a murder committed in self-defense, (Ferraro 2006).
This is where the true issue lies. At the end of all of the years of abuse, the countless
beatings, death threats, and sexual assaults, women have very little resources that aid them
in their efforts to escape and hold their partners responsible. The consequences of the lack
of prosecution and accountability are far reaching. Victim blaming, psychological,

5. Karl Sather
Reaction Paper #2
Family Violence
Fall 2014
economic, physical, and sexual control are all consequences of IPV and the lack of attention
paid to this serious issue. Women who are victims of IPV have no other option than to be
ashamed of their situation because they have been told symbolically and literally by the
Criminal Justice System that their situation is of little importance. Even the families of these
women felt that “they had made their own bed’s and now have nobody to blame but
themselves,” (Ferraro 2006:31).
In conclusion, it is clear to see that patriarchal ideologies have promoted a culture
that allows IPV to breed and thrive. Men are taught to devalue and stratify women at a
young age. For some men, this is enough justification to beat, entrap, and sexually abuse
their partners in order to establish control and property rights of their partners. When
women finally make an attempt to come together and fight IPV, their efforts are snuffed out
by ad-hominem arguments, lack of interest, and the unwillingness for men to change their
stance on legal policy pertaining to IPV. Kathleen J. Ferraro (2006) said it best when she
wrote, “Instead of asking women why they stay, we should be asking men why they hit.” It’s
time to stop blaming the victim and address the practices of the perpetrator. It makes more
sense to unload the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.
Here is where I shall begin my reflection. This course presented a lot of useful
information in explaining my past and my family, but it also presented me with quite a bit
of cognitive dissonance. IPV was one of those situations that I had not closely examined in
my life, nor my studies. I have witnessed many of my friends suffer from psychologically

6. Karl Sather
Reaction Paper #2
Family Violence
Fall 2014
abusive relationships and have asked the same question that most do- why doesn’t she just
leave? Now I realize the dependency an abusive partner creates.
When we speak to someone, especially someone we love, we trust him or her to tell
us the truth. Some use this trust as a manipulative effort to gain control over another
individual. Being in a relationship currently, I realize that it is the tendency to become very
close with our partner and, for better or worse, shut out the rest of the world. With the lack
of contradictory opinions and the occasional reality check, one is likely to continue their life
believing that the current states of things are normal. This causes a situation that can easily
allow for abuse to continue, without realizing that abuse in a relationship is in fact not
normal and is extremely damaging psychologically and physically.
As was demonstrated in class, it is easy to manipulate personal opinion when trust
is established. I am now a firm believer that we should rather address the accountability, or
the lack thereof, of the abuser. Why not teach boys that they do not have to be aggressive to
express themselves? Why not promote creativity rather than violence? Why not focus more
of our attention on updating our old and harmful techniques of socialization?
Whenever I see a news article that reports a domestic abuse situation, it always
focuses on the immediate context of the abuse that occurred. Most of the time, the context
is painted as ridiculous or even laughable. An example would be recent events of a woman
stabbing her partner because he threatened to kill her beloved pet turtle, or the man who
grabbed a chicken sandwich out of his pregnant wife’s hand and decided to beat her with it
because he didn’t like chicken sandwiches. On the surface, it seems as if only barbarians or
idiots would do something like that, when in fact there was probably a long history of prior

7. Karl Sather
Reaction Paper #2
Family Violence
Fall 2014
abuse that lead up to these situations. A follow up on the turtle news story found that the
woman is being charged with attempted murder, while her husband is being painted as the
victim.
Situations above and the media bias that ensues creates an apathetic stance on what
actually happened. Most are likely to read the headline, laugh, and shrug it off thinking that
it is anomaly that won’t affect them. Rather, it is likely that someone in his or her apartment
complex is going to be beaten that night for whatever reason, and somewhere in his or her
state a woman will be killed due to IPV.
It is clear to me that there is no sex, gender, ethnic group, leader, politician, judge, or
law enforcement officer that is exempt from addressing IPV in our society. The reason
being that this is a cultural issue- a patriarchal issue. I am an optimistic pessimist when it
comes to addressing and minimizing the issues of IPV. I believe that all men have the
capacity to be empathetic to the cause if it is framed right, but I also believe that, with men
being in power, they are more reluctant to promote equality because it is a threat to the
traditional power dynamics that men have become accustomed to. Those who have power
spend most of their time working to maintain the positions they hold. But, those who have
power also have a mother. If it was their mother who was being abused, I have faith that
they would step in and do something. If for their mother, than why not step in elsewhere?
While reading Neither Angels Nor Demons, I consistently felt guilty. I felt subhuman,
as I identified with how some of these men felt. Though I must make it clear I have and
never will strike a woman, I understand the feeling of control and power that was being
exercised over the women in the book. Possessiveness and jealousy is something I have

8. Karl Sather
Reaction Paper #2
Family Violence
Fall 2014
always struggled with in relationships that stem from personal issues such as self-esteem
and past experiences. The mechanisms I employ to cope with this fall right into that tiny
little circle at the center of the Power and Control Wheel. Psychological, physical, and
economic control practices employed throughout the book stemmed from the same
feelings I have felt in a relationship. I fear my partner leaving me sometimes, and so did
these men- they just dealt with it in the wrong way. For me, I deal with these feelings by
adjusting my expectations and reminding myself that my girlfriend is just as equal to me,
and that these feelings stem from a skewed view of reality I posses, not because of anything
she does. I had to get up and walk away from this book quite a bit while reading it to
remind myself I am not like these men and I must not fall in the trap of feeling the way they
did.
In conclusion, I will no longer blame the victim of anyone who has experienced IPV.
The web of control that ensnares a woman is too much to break from. Life is not a sitcom
where one can up and leave with little consequences. Rather, when a victim of IPV tries to
up and leave, they have nowhere to run to and a man who will most likely chase them
down. I see the importance of supportive, understanding networks of people and
institutions alike. If we as a society can provide the resources for women to escape an
abusive relationship and reestablish themselves, then I think real progress will follow. By
offering support and help, awareness is able to be raised, and that is the first step to coping
with an illness in a society that has not yet been coped with effectively.

9. Karl Sather
Reaction Paper #2
Family Violence
Fall 2014
Works Cited
Ferraro, Kathleen J. 2006. Neither Angels nor Demons: Women, Crime, and Victimization.
Lebanon, NH: Northeastern University Press