This document discusses strategies for effectively reaching boys and young men with STI prevention messages. It argues that current approaches are often ineffective because they are based on negative attitudes about males. It suggests reframing efforts by assuming males are interested, concerned, responsible and trustworthy. The document also stresses the importance of addressing males' actual concerns like normalcy, attractiveness, and sexual performance rather than only focusing on protecting female partners. Specific strategies proposed include being knowledgeable about and addressing issues like condom fit and sensation to improve education. The document concludes by suggesting incorporating themes of sex, muscles and abs commonly found in men's magazines could help engage boys and young men.

1. REACHING BOYS AND
YOUNG MEN
WITH
STI PREVENTION
MESSAGES
Wayne V. Pawlowski , LICSW,
AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator
National Chlamydia Coalition
February 20, 2013

2. BE AWARE:
I Am Going To Be
Speaking In Generalities!
► So, when I say “WE,” I do NOT mean
every one of us individually…
► I do mean “OUR FIELD” in general :
reproductive health, family planning, and
STI prevention.
► So, don’t take my comments “personally”
(individually)…but,
► DO take them as a view…a perception…
of our field/our work world.

3. And remember,
It is the perception that
informs/influences how guys
view/see us.
And how they will respond to our
outreach/messages.

4. Fools Rush In
Where Wise Men Fear To Go!!!

5. Five Incredible
Sources Of Information/Insight
About Boys and Young Men:
► MARS Program, Benton County, OR
 M ale A dvocates for R esponsible S exuality
 Brian Dekker and Andy Chuinard
► And,
► William Pollock: Author of Real Boys and Real
Boys Voices
► And, ABC’s 20-20 : The Secret Life of Boys
(video),
► And,
► Michael Gurian: Author of the Wonder of Boys
► And,
► Michael Thompson: Author of the book and
video Raising Cain

6. Plus #6: My own 30 years of
experience in
reproductive health/
family planning/
STI-HIV prevention/
sexuality education
working with both
men and women/boys and girls.

7. Typically The Question ,
“How Can We More Effectively
Reach Boys and Young Men?”
Means:
► What do we need to know about them…
► So we can get them into our
clinics/health centers/programs…
► So we can get them tested (and treated)
…
So we can get them to stop infecting their
partners and behaving badly.

8. I Suggest To You What That
Means Is:
► We really don’t like guys very much.
► We see them as irresponsible
“foreigners” with whom we and our
female patients/clients cannot
communicate.
► We really only want to “serve” them as a
way of protecting their female partners.
► We really aren’t all that interested in
THEM and THEIR concerns, needs
and/or issues.
► And, at some level, boys/young men
know and/or feel all of this.

9. Lets start with what I mean
when I say:
“ We don’t like guys very much.”
Or,
To put it another way:
Lets look at how we REALLY feel
about males?
What are our real attitudes about
them?

10. When I “Listen To” Our Field,
What I Hear Is That We Believe
Men Are:
► Uninterested in STI prevention and
family planning,
► Unconcerned about the things they
“should” be concerned about,
► Uninvolved,
► Irresponsible,
► Unwilling and uninterested in
communicating about relationships,
► UNTRUSTWORTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11. If we are going to have any
success in reaching out to
boys and young men,
we will HAVE TO deal with
these attitudes and beliefs.
We are going to have to reframe our thinking
and begin to see boys and young men in
new/different ways.

12. We Are Going To Have To Go
With The Premise (Assume) That
Most Of Them Really Are:
► Interested !
► Concerned !!
► Responsible !!!
► And, if they appear not to be, they really
do want to be !!!!
► Involved…even if not in the way(s) we
think they should be !!!!!
► And,
► TRUSTWORTHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13. And, We Need To Recognize
That Boys And Young Men:
► Are curious.
► Want to know about STIs (and contraception).
► Do not want to infect their partners.
► Want to be good/better partners.
► Want to know how to talk with their partners.
► Want to communicate caring and honest
concerns.
► Do not want to be insensitive.
► Want to be good lovers.
► Want to be partners/allies in STI prevention.

14. BUT…
► They simply may not know how.
► American male enculturation (how to “be a
man”) gets in the way of their being in touch
with feelings and/or being able to express
feelings.
► They are likely nervous about what they do not
know…in part because they are supposed to
know everything.
► They fear that if they try to do/be all of these
things that they will be judged… and not kindly.

15. This Cathy Cartoon Sums It All
Up!

16. Our Negative Attitudes/Beliefs
About Males Show Up In:
► Jokes,
► Our expectations of them (what we expect
is what we see/get),
► Men and EC,
► Posters that we hang in our clinics, and
► Ad images/messages that target women.

17. POSTERS
and
Advertising
Messages

18. What do I mean when I say:
We only want to “serve” males so we
can protect their partners;
and,
We aren’t really interested in them
and/or their concerns, needs and
issues.

19. In reproductive health
settings, women have
traditionally been our primary
clients and our primary
concern. Therefore, it is not
unusual for male concerns to
be responded to through our
concerns for women rather
than directly through the
concerns of men.

20. According To Michael Gurian
The Top 5 Concerns Of
Adolescent Males Are:
1. Am I normal?
2. Am I attractive?
3. Homophobia
1. Fear being gay
2. Fear appearing to be gay
4. Sexual Prowess
5. Penis size

21. According To The MARS
Program
The most common question male
college freshmen asked the MARS
staff was…
How many guys are having sex?
What’s behind that question?
Am I normal?
Am I like other guys?
Am I a “real man?”

22. How Many Of These Concerns
Are We Prepared To Address…Or
WANT To Address?
► If these are the top concerns of young men, why
are we not asking our male clients about them?
► The young men who talked with MARS staff,
asked about sexual prowess and being normal
when they asked how many guys are having
sex.
► Why did they ask the MARS staff and why don’t
we hear these questions (and generally we
don’t)?
► What are we communicating that suggests we
are not approachable about these concerns?

23. So let’s look at some of these
questions/issues/concerns
and see how
we tend to respond
as a field.
Let’s start with Gurian’s
5 th male concern:
penis size .

24. Regarding Penis Size:
Do You Know The Average
Size Of An Erect Male
Penis?
The average erect male penis is
about the same size (length) as a
Starbucks Grande Coffee!!!
BUT, not as thick.

25. … a Starbucks Grande Coffee!!!!!
(…but not as thick)

26. And that size is
5.877 inches.
The average “range”
seems to be between
5.1 and 6.2 inches

27. And Penis Size Relates To
Condom Use And
Condom Use Education
► Which are DIRECTLY related to STI
prevention.
► The Two Most Common Complains We
Hear From Men About Condoms Are:
► Too tight/too small/I’m too big;
► Loss of feeling/don’t feel as much/like
showering with a raincoat.
► There Are Others But These Are The
Most Common.

28. So How Do We Tend To
Respond To These
Complaints?
► We blow up condoms like balloons.
► We pull them over our arms.
► And we say, “No one is THAT big!!!” or,
“So, is size really a problem??!!”
► We assume an “ego problem.”
► Withloss of feeling, we respond with
some version of “Well, if she’s smart,
you won’t be feeling anything if you don’t
wear one!”

29. By Assuming “I’m Too Big” Is
An Ego Problem We
Completely Miss The Point For
Most Men
► And, thereby we give them the message
that we really are not interested in them
or in their problems.
► The best response/reply to “They don’t
fit” is,
“ Tell me when you have a problem.”

30. ► In
the absence of an ego problem,
what we are most likely to hear is
some versions of:
► Can’tget the ring of the condom over
the head of the penis.
► The pressure of the ring at the base
inhibits ejaculation.

31. If Either Of These Are A Man’s
Concern…
► Ourflip, “ego problem” response is a
quick way to shut men down.
► And to make them believe (rightly?)
that we really are not interested in
knowing what is going on with them.

32. With Loss Of Feeling…
► It IS like showering with a raincoat!
► You DON’T feel as much!
But, that doesn’t mean men can’t or
won’t use them.
► We have to explore the extent of the
problem they are having and then help
them problem solve.
► It is one thing if he loses sensation and
takes a long time to cum.
► It is another thing if he loses so much
sensation that he can’t ejaculate at all.

33. To Improve Condom Education
and Condom Use, We Need to:
► Behonest, direct, clear,
knowledgeable , and HELPFUL.
► Know how to help a man “size” his
penis for condoms.
► Knowabout and recommend thinner
condoms.

34. And remember…
► Condoms come in a WIDE variety of
colors, textures, sizes and flavors…..
► Ifyou are shopping for them yourself
for the first time, the selection
can be (IS!!!) overwhelming….

36. Remember, Appropriate Humor
Can Go A Long Way In Helping
To Talk With Men About
Difficult Subjects
► Condom manufacturers have been
GREAT at using humor in their
advertising.
► I have NO investments in any condom
manufacturers!!!!!!! So, I am NOT
pushing any brand of condom!!!!!!
► I am just sharing creative and fun
condom ads!!!!!! I can recommend the
ads not necessarily the condoms!!!!!!

37. Durex Television Ad

38. Condom Poster Ads
and
Print Media Ads

39. LASTLY:
► Letstake a look at the cover of one of the
best selling men’s magazines that deals
directly with men’s heath:
► MEN’S HEALTH
► Notethe three themes you see on each
and every cover…the themes that get
guys’ attention and that sell the magazine.
► And,that show up on the covers of MOST
men’ magazines…not just Men’s Health .

44. THE THREE THEMES?
SEX,
MUSCLES, and
ABS !!!
NOT STIs!!!!!!!!

45. SOMETHING TO THINK
ABOUT:
► If we could find a way to incorporate these
three themes into our outreach to boys and
young men;
► and then actually address their real
concerns;
► my bet is they would be beating our doors
down to get in!!!!!!

46. WHEW!!!!