The document discusses many different phobias, from graphophobia (fear of writing) to pteronophobia (fear of being tickled by feathers). It describes the author's experiences with various phobias like heliophobia (fear of the sun) and chionophobia (fear of snow). It also mentions phobias that other people struggle with such as arachnophobia (fear of spiders), haphephobia (fear of being touched), and gelotophobia (fear of being laughed at). The author jokes that with so many potential phobias, it would be acceptable to have panophobia (fear of everything).

1. Frivolous Phobias
Neville Case
Are you afraid of being tickled by feathers? If yes, then this read isn‟t for
you. This piece is for fickle phobics. I‟m sure you‟d like to know what is a
phobia, eh! You know those irrational, intense, pervasive fears of objects and
situations that pose little or no actual danger. Those fears are phobias.
Well I have graphophobia, a fear of writing, and don‟t know why I‟m even
writing this piece. Oh yes, I do know. My mind is full of fickle phobias. This
morning I looked in the mirror and, lo and behold, I realized the reason why I have
no hair. I have trichopathophobia, a fear of hair. In musing, I can‟t tell whether I
had this state of mind before or after losing my hair. Now, while I don‟t have a
fear of baldness, I wonder how many young men looking at my hairless head will
develop peladophobia, the fear of baldness. It seems that there is a phobia for
everything. That makes it okay for people who have panophobia or a fear of
everything.
I just returned from four weeks in Guyana where I was roasting in the sun. I
thoroughly enjoyed its brilliance and its intense heat. I‟m glad I didn‟t have
heliophobia, a fear of the sun. On the flip side, when I returned to Edmonton and
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2. had to brace the continuous snow storms in the spring, I realized that I had
chionophobia, a deep seated fear of snow.
This morning, I was talking to two women who were panicking about their
fear of spiders. I told them they have arachnophobia. One of them thanked me for
complimenting them for their good looks while the other one who only heard the
phobia part of the word swore at me.
Sometimes I think I have mnemophobia. I have the fear of remembering all
of my past. I remember as a child when Mother had to repeatedly tell my brother
Roy and me to wash. “Go, you dirty brats,” she would yell. “Have a shower.”
She tried desperately to correct our ablutophobia, our fear of washing or bathing.
Now I chuckle when I remember those times. I have mixed feelings about those
times. I can‟t believe I was like that.
Memories, memories, memories. Many years ago, when I had
anuptaphobia, the fear of staying single, it drove me nuts. You should have seen
me, obsessing and frantically searching until I found a wife. I looked in all the
good places like church, professional conferences, and symphony concerts.
Finally, I have to thank my brother Fred for introducing me to the lady of my life.
Enough of that for now. I wonder what phobias she finds in me. I could suggest
one or two, but I‟d leave it up to her.
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3. I have a friend who has haphephobia. You know, a person with the fear of
being touched. He doesn‟t drive and has to take the LRT to and from work. He‟s
in high anxiety all the way on the train. He has learned some self-trance
techniques and goes into a hypnotic trance on the train to avoid any awareness of
being touched. He ought to live in Toronto or New York or London where touché
perverts travel only at rush hour.
I remember the nerd at school who couldn‟t control his „nerdiness.‟ It was
so obvious that he had the fear of being laughed at. He had a clear case of
gelotophobia. I shouldn‟t really make jokes about him. I remember as a teenager
in Richmond, Yorkshire, being very different from any English teen. I was very
conscious of my gelotophobia. I still don‟t know if it was the fear-of-being-
laughed-at or actually-being-laughed-at that was the most anxiety provoking.
Umm, umm, I sense a departure from the fickle phobias to being serious in my
writing.
A sudden state of graphophobia or fear of writing is coming over me and I
must leave you with one further comment. I think I asked you in the beginning not
to read this piece if you fear being tickled by a feather. Let me give you a clue.
The fear of being tickled by a feather is pteronophobia. I warned you. Ha, ha!
You can‟t even pronounce pteronophobia.
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