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1. SCHOOL OF ARCHITECTURE, BUILDING AND DESIGN
THE DESIGN SCHOOL
FOUNDATION IN NATURAL BUILD ENVIRONMENT
Name: Fong Wen Ying Cynthia
Student ID: 0320499
Group/Session: Monday (4-6pm)
Social Psychology (PSYC0103)
Assignment 1: Individual Journal
Lecturer: T. Shankar
Submission date: 27th
April 2015

2. Entry 1: Social Influence 13th
April 2015
I have not told anyone this and I have always said that I would
never open up to anyone about this, but that was before when I
was rather ‘anti-social’ and quite negative about almost everything.
Guess that opening up makes me a different person and for what I
am today. I am rather shy and it makes me feel regretful. As you
can see that I chose the concept, social influence, which basically
means, an action or thoughts that are affected by others.
I was in a local all-girls’ school back when I was in Primary 4 to
Secondary 3 and was transferred to a mixed gender international
school after my PMR. Being in an all-girls’ school for more than
three years, I was not really comfortable and always feel awkward
around boys. I get nervous every time a boy talks to me; they
would have thought that I was a weirdo.
I had this infatuation over this guy that is a year older than me,
named Chai when he first talked to me; we were both new
students in that school and because of his good looks, his strong
and lean body and fun personality, he became one of the school’s
hunks. We were really close that teachers often mistaken us as
couples, and that was when I was in trouble. I do not mean to
badmouth my high school or being racist but like what the school
disciplinary teacher says, my school is full with spoilt brats. A
group of Chinese girls, younger than me were jealous that Chai
and I were close friends and they actually hate me because of this.
They cyber bullied me on Twitter, threw dead lizards into my

3. locker, sprayed water into the cubicle I was in when I was
changing my PE clothes.
As girls, we are prone to be more sensitive to criticism about our
appearances. That group of girls made Chai call me fat and ugly, I
tried not to care so much but after my classmates heard him
calling me that, they started calling me fat and ugly. ‘Maybe I am
fat, maybe I am ugly, but do you have to shove it into my face like
that?’ was all I could say. I started forcing myself to vomit after
eating and run on the treadmill like as if a dog is chasing me, I eat
only salads and calculate the calories or fats in whatever I
consumed. This went on for about 4 months and I admit that I was
happy back then, because everyone stopped calling me fat after
they saw how scrawny I was.
My parents somehow came to school one day after my homeroom
teacher called them to ask about me. My parents are always busy
and I do not blame them for not being there for me when I was hurt
or bullied, they worked very hard to make sure my brother and I
can have a luxury life but my mom resigned after knowing that I
was a bulimic. I had to consult several psychiatrists and doctors to
make sure I put on weight again. I was really disappointed with
myself, seeing my mom resigning from her dream job and crying
out loud every night because of me, seeing my dad paying all
those medical fees with his sweat earned money and my brother
being so hateful against Chinese because of me. I was more
depressed, then.

4. I eventually gained weight and maybe too much weight but it does
not matter anymore, I have the confidence now. I learned and
understand that just because others call me fat or ugly, that does
not mean that I have to be affected by what they say. On a brighter
note though, Chai asked me to be his prom date and we danced in
front of them. My mom got her job as a well-known vocal trainer
back but in a different school; dad got promoted and my brother
learned to be strong and to not allow others affect whatever he
does like how it happened to me.
‘Chai and I at Gatsby Prom 2014 J’

5. Entry 2: Interdependent 16th
April 2015
Interdependent is caused
by cultural influences,
collective culture, to be
exact. This simply means a
state where factors rely on
or react with each other. A
change in one equals a
change in the other. Asians
are often known to possess this ‘interdependent’ way of thinking
and behaving.
I always thought that just because I am an Asian, it does not mean
I am interdependent. Well, there was this time where I joined a
camp and there was this part where we have to actually talk and
know what we wish to be in the future. I personally think that I am
a rather ambitious person and I really wish to accomplish one day,
from academic to non-academic.
I was about 15 and talked about being a volunteer, for the rest of
my life, after joining the World AIDS Day campaign back in 2014
and visiting the discriminated ones and their stories really brought
me to tears. Since then, I have always wanted to help the sick, the
poor and the less fortunate ones. I would want to help change the
world, every one counts! I find volunteering provides both physical
and mental rewards. It somehow reduces my stress and makes
me happier whenever I talk to them and make them feel

6. comfortable and seeing someone sad and broken smile definitely
brightens my day.
However, this made my dad rather disappointed and told me not to
take volunteering as my lifetime career. He said that this does not
determine my future and would bring problems to me, as a
volunteer would not have high pay and so on. I agree with him
without any doubts but this made me realize one thing. According
to psychology, independent is when an individual prioritize his or
her own happiness more than anything else and I am definitely not
an independent person no matter how much I think I am. I did
matter of how my dad thinks and even thought of my future kids, if
I am only a volunteer, I would not have time to take care and see
them grow up and obviously, I may not have enough money to
bring them up.
I am an Asian and as Asians, we have the interdependent thinking
and we are prone to think of what our family members or friends
think of the choices me make. People would see us as good
friends; obedient children while independent people would be
labeled adventurous and bold. Hence, my choice of choosing to be
quantity surveyor and only volunteer when I have the time, not as
a full time career but once in a while.

7. Entry 3: Self-Actualization 17th
April 2015
The self-actualization is the highest level of the Abraham Maslow
Hierarchy of Needs and is said that it is the most seldom level
reached but it is the result of the inner-directed drive of human to
grow, improve and use their potential to the fullest; the full
realization of one’s potential and of one’s true self.
Since young I have always looked for a place for comfort and
somewhere I can be myself. As the eldest in the family, I have to
the thought that I should make sure my younger brother does not
go through the pain I went through when I was younger or I am
going through now. My family is not broken and I am thankful with
all the small little things that made me happy but it is rather
depressing sometimes.
Life was hard and my parents even sent me to several
psychiatrists to ‘help’ me, I find it costly and useless. Most
psychiatrist only made me cry more and made me do things I do
not find help in doing, like writing a list of what makes me sad and
stuffs like that; but I stopped going for appointments eventually. I
read books about self-healing such as Chicken Soup for Teenage
Soul and even I learnt to be strong myself.
I know I sound dramatic but I have seen people getting hurt
mentally, those who got marginalized for reasons I do not know
and even got discriminated. I was bullied and I know how it hurts, I
know how it is like to be alone. I have seen my friend’s tears too
many times; I remembered when she told me how her other

8. friend’s ran away from her. Anthea asked them where they wanted
to have lunch and waited for them outside of the toilet but she saw
them walking out of the toilet from the other side, wanting to avoid
her. I mean if you do not like a person, you do not have to go to
the extent of hurt him or her. Well, that was before I knew Anthea. I
realized that Anthea was alone and decided to be friends with her
and we are close friends until now.
I may not be able to make myself better from sad things and I
know I may not be able to heal myself and everyone completely;
but it makes me happier and more at peace. Songs like ‘Titanium’,
‘The Broken Ones’ and so many other inspirational songs helped
me cope. In the previous entry, I mentioned that I would not take
volunteering as my lifetime career but I would still help out as
much as I can. I would want to heal as many people as I can. I
would want to change the world; I believe that every person
counts. Hence, this is who I believe I am.

9. Entry 4: Ingratiation 18th
April 2015
Ingratiation is a
psychological technique in
which an individual
attempts to be more
attractive or likeable to
others by controlling other’s
impressions of you through
flattery or praise. This
reminds me of my current landlady, Mrs. Wong. She is a retired
tutor and rents her old house in PJS 7 only to university students. I
got to know this house through the ibilik.com and decided to make
a visit. I obviously had a few other choices but ended up renting a
room is Mrs. Wong’s house. She is very particular with the house
cleanliness and one thing I like about her is that, she prepares duty
roster every year for every tenant in the house to clean but it is the
way she makes sure everyone does his or her job is what that is
annoying.
I moved in around August last year and the moment I signed the
one year contract with her, she taught me how to sweep, how to
mop, how to dust and how to everything. I already know how to do
all of those but she wants us to see how she do it no matter what.
Being new and wanting to have a good first impression of me to
her, I listened and nodded my head.
Now, my course, FNBE, is known for the ‘free sleepless night
package’ when you enroll into this course and of course I was as
dead as a zombie but still did my duties at home. I remembered

10. that there was this day when she called me during one of my class
and shouted at me for not doing my duty and one my housemates
complained that I did not do clean the house. God, I did my duties
and I swear I did because I cannot stand sandy and dusty floors as
well. She made me went home during my class and lectured me. I
know this is really unbelievable but actually said that I would not be
able to find a husband when I grow old because I do not know how
to do simple housework and even called me ugly indirectly.
Later that night, one of my housemates, Jaclyn, from upstairs
came down and knocked on my room door, telling me that she
heard everything when Mrs. Wong came over. Jaclyn told me that
stayed in this house for about two years now and she experienced
what I have had experienced and told me that no one complained
and that this is Mrs. Wong’s way of handling tenants. She said that
Mrs. Wong often said I complained to her that Jaclyn did not do
her duties as well and the more you answer her back, the more
she will haunt you in your daily life.
I was really annoyed by her and grew hatred for her, every time
she text or call me about me not doing my job, I would just hang up
or ignore her text. Around December last year, I was almost kicked
out of the house until one day, she called me again and I decided
to pick up.
I listened to her rants and complain once and for all and answered
her really politely. I would say, “so sorry, Mrs. Wong. I didn’t think
far enough like the way you think.” and “thank you for your advice,
it really did help me. You’re such a good mother material person!”

11. at almost everything she said. Maybe because I was in a good
mood and happened to not have any grudges against her that day.
Right before she wanted to hang up, I wished her, happy holiday
and boy! It was the first time I heard her laughing and she wished
me back.
From that day onwards, she treated me better and did not bug me
at all and even texted me a smiley face twice. Jaclyn told me that
Mrs. Wong claimed that I improved and is proud of me. Did not
know that ingratiation is such a powerful technic to control other’s
impressions of me through flattery.
Entry 5: Racism 21st
April 2015
Racism is the belief that all members of each race possess
characteristics or abilities specific to that race, espeicially so as to
distuinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races. This
reminds me of a story that happened not long ago, when I was
having my mid-semester break and decided to spend time with
one of my cousin, Gigi, in Cananda. Since she is studying mass
communication, she loves wearing make up and would visit make
up stores like M.A.C, Sephora and so on. I remembered that I
always say make up are for typical girly girls and I would never
want to use it, but as I grow up, I learned that make up is infact
very, very useful and I find it somehow interesting.
Back then, M.A.C had a Cinderella collection and trust me, it is
extremely fascinating. It launched in early March so Gigi and I
finaly decided to get a the Cinderella, Free as A Butterfly lipstick

12. after a long period of hesitation. We went to the nearest shopping
mall, Yorkdale Mall in Toronto.
Well, we have both heard a lot of horrible stories about the M.A.C
staffs and how they do not treat you right and only serve people
who they think are worthy of their time. I was actually nervous that
we would get treated like this but because of Gigi’s optimistic
opinion, we still insisted on going. So when we walked into the
M.A.C store that day, it was quite crowded but since we only
wanted the Butterfly lipstick, we decided to find it ourselves.
Unfortunately, Gigi was caught up with the concealer department.
A concealer has different shades and she knew that the NC20 or
the NC25 shade suits her, she still wanted to get second opinion or
someone to double check for her. That would obviously not be me
even though she asked me about my opinion but really, I know
really little about make up.
So Gigi and I were at the concealer counter, swatching different
tones. She was not sure which tone suits her best because, to me,
NC20 and NC25 look almost the same, so she decided to get help.
We scanned the place and found two staffs talking to each other
rather loudly instead of helping the other customers. As we got
near them, ‘excuse me,’ I said. And can you believe, the staff gave
me the dirtiest look ever. She frowned and rolled her eyes at me
and Gigi. We stood there blankly because, how are we supposed
to react to that? We somehow got her attention and asked if she
could help us with the concealer. She kissed her teeth and rolled
her eyes. Again.

13. Thinking that we did not want their help anymore, we walked back
to the concealer counter and continue swatching. At the corner of
my eye, I saw a different staff walking towards us and felt as if we
were saved! And one of the girls from earlier shouted, ‘Don’t help
her, she’s Asian, she’s not gonna buy anything.’, I was still looking
at the staff who was about to help us and she started backing off.
We looked around the store and realized that we were only the
Asian in the whole store. I know how people see Asians as cheap
and cannot seem to afford anything and tend to always bargain but
do you know that M.A.C’s motto is, ‘All ages, all races, all sexes.’
What I found interesting was that no one went up to her and say,
hey, that’s wrong, you should not say stuffs like that. Gigi was
brought up in Toronto and she swear this was her first time
experiencing things like that. As an Asian, our parents always
taught us manners and not to fight back. We were in the losing end
as most of the customers around us were whites.
At that time, I was holding the Free As A Butterfly lipstick and Gigi
was still holding on to her concealer. We decided to get as much
other products we can and put them in the small basket M.A.C.
and most shop would provide. Gigi was tall so she took most of
them from the higher shelves, hoping that the staffs would find it
difficult to place it back after; and yup, we were not going to buy
the products that we put in the basket. We went right up to the
cashier and the staff from before said, ‘so you’re ready to pay?’
Gigi placed the basket on the counter and said, ‘no thanks, I’m
worried all these products would make me a bitch like you’.

14. To be honest, I was dissapointed with Gigi and the staffs’ attitude.
If everyone behaves like this, how would the world be in total
peace at all? I do not see the difference with different races at all,
we are all human, earthlings. We have two eyes, a nose, two ears
and so on. Like that Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, ‘I refuse to
accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless
midnight of racism and war that the birght daybreak of peace and
brotherhood can never become a reality. I believe that unarmed
truth and unconditional love will have the final word.’ Only if the
world will have more love for one another………. Only if the world
listen to “Where’s The Love” by The Black Eye Peas and “Black
Tie White Noise” by David Bowie everyday and actually feel the
meaning of songs like this!

15. Entry 6: Self handicaping 22nd
April 2015
Self handicaping is
intentionally creating
obstacles to our own
success so that we
have an excuse if we
fail or not meeting
like blaming the
traffic jam for being
late for an exam. When it comes to not having satisfying results, it
would be me. Maybe because I aim too high? There I go again,
self handicaping.
Self handicaping is rather common and I find it unhealthy because,
well, it actually makes you less stress about your failure, causing
you to fail more. Let us get to the reason why I think so, shall we?
I remembered during my early years in high school, I was really
ignorant and somewhat overcondfident, thinking that just because I
scored straight A’s in my UPSR, I can do well in high school. I
skipped class a lot back when I was in my secondary 1 and 2, I
thought that I was smart enough to actually cope with the high
school syllabus, did not know that Geography and History was
such heavy subjects!
I failed my Geography and History and I still hesitated and did not
want to admit that I was in the wrong instead I lied to myself about
the teacher not being good enough and he did not give any notes.

16. Trust me, giving excuses for not being good enough feels so great!
It was feels like, nah, it isn’t your fault, you did your best, kind of
feeling!
I was failing almost every Geography and History exam until one
day, I overheard my dad telling my mom about how worried he
was about me. He was worried that the government school does
not suit me and that I could not cope with the syllabus in an all
Malay language. It hurts seeing my dad feeling hurt and decided to
turn into a new leaf and started pulling my socks and picking up
everything that I had lost and I was happy that my results improved
bit by bit and to be honest, having good results feel so much better
than feeling, nah it’s not my fault!
Entry 7: The Illusion of Control 24th
April 2015
Illusion of control simply means the tendency for people to
overestimate their ability to control events; for instance, it occurs
when someone feels a sense of control over outcomes that they
demonstrably do not influence. Like how I thought not going
through my Economic notes before my test earlier this semester, I
only redo the exercise Mr Joe gave would be enough for me to get
an A for my test.

17. Most of us would think that just doing the previous exercises would
be enough for a test, as it is all roughly about what the test would
be like. So with that, I only refered a few times to my notes and
feltso confident that I would score an A. Few days before the test, I
was really chilled and relaxed; and again thought that the more I
relax, I would do better but don’t think it is true anymore……
The test questions seemed really easy and straightforward and I
had high hopes for Economic test but in the end, I got an E
instead. Feeling rather frustrated and annoyed, I rechecked all the
exercises and back to the question paper. “WHY IS EVERYTHING
SO COMPLICATED!” Yeah, that was how frustrated I was then.
I asked around and realized that my exercises answers were
wrong the whole time and my understanding for the two most
important concept were wrong and inverted!
Too bad, Cynthia! I should have participated in the study group
actively before and discuss my answers with them! Having the
belief that only redoing the excerises would help me score my test
with flying results is definitely an example of the illusion of control!