2. 2
Spring 2016
Dear Peer Educator:
Congratulations! You have been invited to serve as a peer educator because of your
leadership efforts in the Herberger Business School. This handbook was designed
to support you in your role as a HBS 111 peer educator and to help you foster
meaningful relationships with the students in your assigned groups.
Research has shown that peer educators are successful when they share their
experience because it helps to create meaningful bonds with younger students.
Additionally, students who are encouraged to engage in activities beyond the
classroom have a more satisfying college experience. In addition to serving as a
student resource, we also ask that you invite your advisees to student club meetings
or socials and plan at least one on-campus activity for your group during the
semester.
There are many resources that you can draw on to help you be effective in your
role. In particular, please draw on the resources in the Career Services (CH215),
Pre Business Advising (CH229), course D2L site, Learning Resource reserves, and
PDP office (CH 213). Feel free to contact me at any time if you need assistance.
Sincerely,
Mary Soroko
Student Development Director
3. 3
PRE TEST
Very Strong Okay Weak Don't
Strong Have
1. Engage in active listening A B C D E
2. Knowledge about campus resources A B C D E
3. Knowledge about change strategies A B C D E
4. Recognizing and accepting my strengths and deficiencies A B C D E
5. Effectively presenting programs A B C D E
6. Effectively organizing my time A B C D E
7. Effectively managing my academic commitments A B C D E
8. Talking with a peer about a risky behavior or choice A B C D E
9. Referring someone to campus counseling A B C D E
10. Presenting ideas and information to others A B C D E
11. Having conversations with students who are different than me A B C D E
12. Developing an effective solution to a problem A B C D E
13. Responding to someone who wants your advice A B C D E
14. Comfortable presenting to students who are different than me A B C D E
15. Being a role model A B C D E
16. Understanding people's values that are different from mine A B C D E
17. Understanding my own values A B C D E
18. Utilizing ethical principles to make decisions A B C D E
19. Responding to someone who is resisting to change A B C D E
20. Effectively reaching out to those who are different from me A B C D E
21. Knowledge of three tools to manage my stress A B C D E
22. Key components of successful peer education groups A B C D E
Competence
5. 5
Section 1: Peer Education in the HBS
Who is a Peer Educator?
A peer educator is a student who has received training on how to help or influence other
students. Research has found that student peers often have a huge impact on student development
during college (Astin, 1993; Pascarella & Terenzini, 2005). Peer education has also been shown
to have a positive effect on student retention. As a result, the two impacts of peer education are
that it positively impacts the development of students who serve as peer educators and the
campuses and communities they serve.
What explains the impact of this type of program? Probably more than anything else peer
educators can talk to and relate to other students in a way that faculty and staff just can’t.
Peer Educators:
1. Cultivate a genuine desire to engage in college activities and acclimate to college life.
2. Respect individuals, their abilities and their right to make personal choices. They avoid
having a superior attitude or that other students need to be rescued.
3. Listen and accept different points of view, even when they disagree.
4. Empathize with others about their problems to help them identify solutions.
5. Stay flexible and open. Recognize that relationships take time.
Effective Peer Educators:
Share stories about their educational career and how they have overcome obstacles to
success. Show students how to use the library, Career Services, etc.
Help students overcome their fear of professors and encourage them to ask questions in
class or see a professor during their office hours.
Share time management tips and suggest University resources to help students work
through their issues. Help students understand University rules or procedures and
encourage a constructive response.
6. 6
Peer Educator Code of Ethics
1. Respect others and their freedom to decide (respect autonomy)
2. Accept responsibility, apologize and move forward when I make a mistake
3. Avoid taking advantage of another’s vulnerability (do no harm)
4. Commit to personal growth by seeking positive mentors and accepting feedback
5. Walk my talk—do what I suggest others do.
6. Help others to the extent that I am qualified or able*
Common Peer Educator Traps
1. Enabling—taking away another’s discomfort, taking responsibility for others
2. Trying to do too much—when you are too busy to give someone the time and attention
they deserve.
3. Taking on something too big—when you don’t have the skills to address an issue.
4. Internalizing the issue—making someone else’s problems your problems
5. Incurring liability—if you become aware of abuse, suicidal thoughts, depression or
other student issues that could result in self-harm or harm to others, report it to Professor
Soroko or someone at the campus Counseling Center. Avoid promising “not to tell
anyone” because once you know, you have a responsibility to report.
Benefits of Being a Peer Educator
Research has also found that peer educators accrue a number of benefits from serving in this role
including the development of communication, leadership and management skills. Employers
love the peer educator program because it gives students a new perspective on working with and
managing members of Generation Y!
7. 7
Section 2: Developmental Advising
In 1972, Burns Crookston and Terry O’Banion independently attempted to define academic advising.
Both individuals have been credited with the first accepted definitions for the discipline:
Taking a whole student perspective, Crookston (1972) declared that “developmental advising is
concerned not only with specific personal or vocational decisions but also with facilitating the student’s
rational processes, environmental and interpersonal interactions, behavioral awareness, and problem-
solving, decision-making and evaluation skills.”
O’Banion (1972) defined academic advising as “a process in which advisor and advisee enter a dynamic
relationship respectful of the students concerns. Ideally, the advisor serves as teacher and guide in an
interactive partnership aimed at enhancing the student’s self-awareness and fulfillment.”
Exercise
What commonalities do you see between the two definitions?
List what you think are the 3 most important concepts.
How do you think these important concepts may materialize in your interactions with students as
a Peer Educator?
Types of Counseling Methods
1. Solution-Focused Counseling—a type of coaching that focuses on building solutions rather
than solving problems. The coach focuses on the future (what do you desire) rather than the past
(how did you get to this point?) and builds on the clients strengths rather than weaknesses.
2. Co-Active Coaching—a relationship coaching technique based on the notion that people need to
be the architects of their own lives and are capable of finding answers for themselves. Through
active and reflective listening the coach helps the client articulate their values and provides
constructive feedback to help them achieve balance in their lives.
3. Motivational Interviewing—uses questioning techniques to help clients transition through a
change process by giving them a new perspective on their issues or concerns. What is most
important is asking open ended questions to get clients to assume responsibility for a desired
change, identify discrepancies between what the client says and does, affirm client progress and
utilize the “therapeutic paradox” when it appears the client is resisting change (it sounds like you
aren’t ready . . .)
4. Appreciative Inquiry—a coaching technique that inspires people to focus on the positive rather
than the negative. It involves 3 steps.
a. Discovery—who are you when you are at your best?
b. Dream –what sort of future do you want to create?
c. Design—investing energy into steps to create the dream
8. 8
What is appropriate advising for a Peer Educator?
As you begin to develop a relationship with your mentees, you may be asked questions related to
academic advising. It is not expected that you take on the role of an academic advisor, but there are
certain questions that are appropriate for you to answer as a Peer Educator. It will be helpful for you to
understand your area of expertise, and when you should refer the student to a Professional Advisor. The
chart below should help define what academic topics are appropriate for you to discuss as a Peer
Educator.
Questions for a Peer Educator Questions for an Academic Advisor
What was your experience like in a particular
class?
What is the preferred teaching method of a
particular instructor?
Would you recommend taking these two classes at
the same time?
I took some classes at a community college, what
will transfer?
Will I be on probation next semester?
If I receive all B’s in my classes, what will my
GPA be?
How many liberal education classes do I still need
to take?
As you can tell by the chart, questions about your experience as a student are very appropriate for you to
address. Your feedback will help your mentees in their decision-making process, but should not make the
decision for them. The key is to engage the student in a developmental conversation, not provide
them with the answer.
Exercise
How would you respond and engage your mentee in a developmental conversation if you were
asked, “Have you ever used RateMyProfessor.com?”
Herberger Business School Advising Structure
In the Herberger Business School, students encounter two forms of academic advising. Students work
with the Business Advising Office (CH 229) while they are working on completing their lower core
requirements. Students who have upper division business status are assigned a Faculty Advisor within
their major department. The diagram below illustrates the academic content that is discussed at each level.
Later in this section we will review the requirements for upper division business status.
As a Peer Educator, the majority of your mentees will be taking classes for the Liberal Education and
Lower Business Core. While you will not be an academic advisor it will be helpful for you to familiarize
yourself with current Liberal Education and Lower Business Core requirements. In the sections that
follow, we will be discussing these academic areas.
9. 9
Components of a Bachelor’s Degree
A Bachelor’s degree consists of 120 credits comprised of certain liberal education, major, and university
requirements. In addition, Business majors also have to complete the Business Core.
Liberal Education
The current general education program at St. Cloud State University is referred to at the Liberal
Education Program (LEP). The LEP provide students with a well-rounded experience and allows them to
explore disciplines different from their major. The Liberal Education is what makes a baccalaureate
degree different from a technical degree. To complete the LEP requirements students must earn a
minimum of 40 credits and complete all ten goal areas as indicated:
1. Communication (2 courses)
2. Critical Thinking (1 course)
3. Natural Sciences (2 courses)
4. Mathematical Thinking (1 course)
5. History, Social and Behavior Sciences (2 courses)
6. Arts and Humanities (2 courses)
7. Human Diversity (1 course)
8. Global Perspective (1 course)
9. Ethical and Civic Responsibility (1 course)
10. People and the Environment (1 course)
In addition to completing the liberal education, all students must complete three diversity courses (one of
which must be a racial issues course).
Business Core
The Business Core consists of lower-level and upper-level business classes. The lower-level business
classes provide students with an introduction to a career in business and foundational knowledge needed
in the advanced courses. A student’s performance in the lower core classes also determines eligibility for
HBS upper division status. The diagram below provides a list of the lower business core classes as well as
the criteria needed to earn HBS upper division status.
10. 10
Business Requirements
2.65 or higher cumulative GPA 45 earned credits
-Must be 100-level or higher
Classes must be completed
ACCT291 – Accounting Principles I*
HBS111 – Orientation to the Business School
ENGL191 - Composition
CMST192 – Intro to Communication Studies
MATH196 – Finite Math*
Classes must be completed or enrolled
ACCT292 – Accounting Principles II
IS/STAT 242 – Business Statistics*
BLAW235 – Legal Environment of Business
CSCI/CNA 169 – Computers in Society*
ECON205 – Macroeconomics
ECON206 – Microeconomics
HBS 211 – Career Essentials
*MATH196, ACCT291, IS/STAT242 and CSCI/CNA169 must be passed with a C- or better
The upper business core consists of eight classes that all business students must complete regardless of
their major. The upper business core provides students with an introduction to all areas of business so
they gain an understanding of the essential areas of business. The upper business core classes include
IS340 Management Information Systems
MGMT301 Introduction to Management
MKTG320 Introduction to Marketing
MGMT383 Operations Management
FIRE371 Managerial Finance
MKTG 333 Business Communication Strategies
MGMT497 Strategic Management
Majors
The Herberger Business School offers the following majors Accounting, Entrepreneurship, Finance,
General Business, Information Systems, International Business, Management, Marketing, and Real
Estate. You are probably familiar with your area of study; however, your mentees may be pursuing a
major that you know little about. As a Peer Educator, you should become acquainted with all of the major
programs offered in the Business School so you can answer basic questions and refer students to the
appropriate information sources. The following exercise will guide you through the information seeking
process.
11. 11
Degree Audit Report
The degree audit report is an individualized advising tool that each student has access to through their e-
services account. The report provides students with detailed information regarding their test scores, GPA,
academic progress, transfer information, completed courses, grades, needed courses, and graduation
requirements. The report is available 24/7.
What is academic success, and how do we get there?
The following exercise will help you to think back to your early years in college, so you can relate to
some of the obstacles facing your students.
Exercise
Think back and describe any point at which you had thoughts of leaving college. If you never
considered leaving college, think of a friend who did. What was happening that you could have
led you or your friend to leave? Why did you stay? Were there academic, personal or situational
reasons that influenced you?
Looking to the future, what do you believe are your chances of staying in college to reach the
goal initially charted for your academic career? Might there at any point be reasons that you
would choose a different direction? What would those be?
According to Newton and Ender, college success can mean different things to different people. Each of
your mentees will have a unique definition of success and as a Peer Educator you will play an active role
in helping your students explore, understand, plan and execute their goals related to academic success.
There is no recipe or equation that guarantees success. Some of your mentees may come in with very
clearly defined academic goals while others may not. Your role will be to meet students where they are
and walk them through the process.
12. 12
Section 3: HBS 111
Overarching Goals of HBS 111
1. To inform students of the learning opportunities provided by the HBS
2. To encourage students to engage in activities/assessments to help them choose a major
and possible career interest
Philosophy
Self-awareness is critical to academic and career success
Talents plus investments in those talents = Employable Strengths
How college affects a student is strongly correlated with their level of engagement
HBS Peer Educators
*Answer student questions about HBS 111 assignments and requirements. To do this, you will
need to understand the course, the assignments and the course policies. Review the syllabus,
course manual, orange booklet, course notebook, etc. Watch the movies (Wall Street, Devil
Wears Prada) from Professor Soroko. Take the quizzes on D2L.
*Take attendance at 12 class sessions starting on Day 3. When you communicate to the
Graduate Assistant who was marked absent, be sure to specify the reason i.e., more than 5
minutes late, sleeping, using electronics or absent.
*Respond to student inquiries in a respectful manner; ideally within 24 hours. Be careful with
the tone of your messages (don’t talk down to students or USE ALL CAPS).
*Role model the kinds of behaviors that support the brand and image of the HBS-- “Get Ready to
Work”. This means introducing yourself to members of your peer group, arriving 10 to 15
minutes before class begins to answer questions, paying attention in class (not using electronics),
asking questions in class, dressing appropriately etc. It would be great if each group could
identify one question to ask the presenters each week.
*Behave in a professional manner. At times, this can be challenging because students may not
listen, read emails etc. Look at this as an opportunity to improve your communication skills and
control your emotions. It will be frustrating at times but look at it as an opportunity to improve
your skills.
*Grading rubrics have been created for each assignment on D2L to promote consistent grading.
Students should be made aware of this so they know how you will be grading on their
assignments. You are not authorized to change the due dates for assignments, offer extra
credit or excuse absences.
13. 13
*Promptly grade assignments (within 2 weeks of submittal in the course D2L drop box) and
email attendance records to the Graduate Assistant no later than Thursday of each class week. If
you must delay grading for any reason, communicate with your student groups so they
understand when their scores will be posted.
*Avoid talking negatively about the HBS, HBS 111, our professors or staff. If you have
concerns, tell Professor Soroko. She is actively looking for ways to improve the course and
wants to create a supportive learning environment.
*During the semester, share three personal stories with your peer groups-- something that you
struggled with during the early years of your college education and how you resolved it; an on-
campus resource you found to be particularly helpful and would recommend; why you think
joining a club or organization is beneficial. Inform Professor Soroko what stories you plan to
share with your groups.
Course Policies:
1. Students are expected to check their attendance every week and report errors to their peer
educators within 2 weeks. Everyone starts the term with 120 points and loses 10 points
for each week they are absent.
2. All quizzes are due by noon of the stated day. Encourage students to put the dates on
their calendars.
3. The third class period missed means that the best grade students can get is a C. There are
no excused absences. If a student wants credit for classes they missed, they have to meet
with Professor Soroko. Students are marked absent for using their cell/computer in
class, showing up late, leaving early, or sleeping in class.
4. Encourage students to get organized. Have them create a career file and include their
MBTI results and anything else that is meaningful for them.
5. Only Professor Soroko can award extra credit or excuse an absence. She requires
students to make up absences by meeting with her in her office. Other than serious
illness, military or sports absences, students can make up only one absence during the
term.
6. In the event you catch students “cheating” be advised that the HBS has an academic
dishonesty policy. Please report cases to Professor Soroko.
Students are required to:
Attend class (attendance is taken by peer educators and submitted to the course GA each
week) and document their class notes (which will be graded) in their course notebooks
(due at the end of the semester)
14. 14
Take 3 on-line quizzes and an on-line final exam (all on D2L)
Complete 4 career development activities from a menu of options and the Career
Development Guide. Directions for the career development activities are reflected in the
red course manual on pages 11 to 14.
Complete a 50 point project (resume)
Complete the Ethical Lens Inventory and write a personal ethics code
Please note the changes in D2L terminology
Current Terminology New Terminology as of August 6, 2016
News Announcements
Dropbox Assignments
Edit Course Course Admin
Pager Instant Messages
New (in Content tool) Upload/Create
Add Existing Activities (in Content tool) Existing Activities
15. 15
Career Development Menu
All assignments are to be uploaded in the D2L drop-box. Exceptions are the career development guide and
course notebook. These can be scanned and uploaded to a drop box if you prefer, however.
Group A: Personal Management (Choose 2, 10 points each)—Due Week 6
Stress
Time
Money
Group B: Learning and Exploration (Choose 2, 15 points each)—Due Week 11 Except
for MBTI and Dining Etiquette Program (Student Research Colloquium in Spring)
Attend a Career Services Exploration Workshop or Appointment
Attend a Club Meeting or Professional Association Meeting
Conduct an informational interview
Attend a cultural café (calendar will be posted on the course D2L site)
Volunteer in the community
Meet with a Department Chair or faculty member to discuss careers for a specific major
Complete the Major Decision Workbook on the course D2L site
Meet with Professor Soroko or peer advisor to talk about Myers
Briggs/Careers (later due date)
Attend an HBS Speaker Program like the fall ethics program
Attend a career event (Career Day, Career Prep, Networking Program)
Attend the dining etiquette program (fall only, later due date)
The Career Development Guide (30 points) and ELI (30 points)—Due Day 14
Other Assignments
50 Point Project—Due Day 15
Students will have a choice of either creating a standard resume OR a developmental resume.
A developmental resume explains what a student plans to do to become qualified for a career,
while a standard resume is a reflection of their accomplishments to date. The latter is obviously
better suited for juniors and seniors in the course but needs to be based on ONET’s description of
required skills for their desired career interest.
Course Notebook—Due Day 15
16. 16
Group B
For many of the group B options, I encourage students to attend something and write a reflection piece.
Example Group B:
For this assignment, I attended a Career Services workshop on LinkedIn on November 10, 2016.
The presenter’s name was Andy Ditlevson. (What they did, when and where)
I learned that LinkedIn is being used by 94% of employers to learn more about job candidates. To have a
complete profile a person needs a professional looking photo, a summary that serves as an “elevator
speech” to introduce yourself to others on-line, a brief description of my education and RELEVANT
employment history. To build credibility, it’s important to have recommendations and join groups so my
network has at least 150 people contacts. To write an effective profile, you need to understand what an
employer seeks in terms of skills and qualifications and then speak to those qualifications and skills.
(They mention several actionable things that they learned)
I had only heard of LinkedIn before this seminar. Now I understand why it is so important and why I need
to write my profile from the employer’s perspective. As such, I will do more research on the positions I
would like to apply for after graduation and pursue opportunities in my part-time jobs or volunteer work
so that I have evidence that I have developed these skills and abilities. I will use keywords from job
postings. I will also join the SCSU Alumni Group and ask some of my professors to join my network.
(How they will use what they learned in their career development activities)
Example MBTI Appointment/Group B Assignment
I met with Professor Soroko to go over my Myers Briggs and discuss career fields that fit my personality
on October 8, 2015. My personality type is INFJ. I am an intuitive feeler or right brained person.
Business careers that would be a good fit for me include marketing, public relations and human
resource training and development. I would also be a good fit for humanitarian types of careers or
in certain communication or counseling fields (Question 1)
Organizationally, it is important for my values to match the employer’s values. Therefore, she
recommended that I consider working in the nonprofit sector or small organization that stresses teamwork
and collaboration (Question 2)
My innate strengths include my ability to communicate with others, my insight and empathy with
other people, my passion for helping others improve. Consequently, I will choose writing classes as
general electives and enroll in courses that develop my communication skills. I will also volunteer for
nonprofit organizations that value what I value because this may lead to job prospects with these
organizations. (Question 3)
17. 17
I am currently considering a career in human resources. I asked Professor Soroko for the MBTI profile
of individuals working in HR. My MBTI type was a good fit for HR assistants and training and
development specialists. (Question 4)
To Grade D2L Assignments
Go into your D2L page.
Select the Teacher Option
Select HBS Fall 2015
Select Assessments
Select Dropbox (From drop down menu)
Select the Assignment you want to grade
From the Assignment Tab, click on the drop down menu and:
Select “View by”
Pull down to “groups”
Select your Group number/name
18. 18
Your student’s assignments will appear here, along with the time you students submitted the assignment, and the
date at which you gave feedback and the date they read your feedback.
To grade an assignment click on the.doc link
The student’s paper will appear. There will be a rubric labeled with the assignment name. Click on this link
You can manually enter a grade here.
There is room for feedback on the paper that cannot be covered on the rubric
19. 19
Extra Credit Opportunities
All extra credit assignments need to be uploaded to the dropbox for extra credit. Please make
sure students are aware of these opportunities.
1. Write a critique of an article in Business Week or trade magazine article (see example in
the red manual’s appendix)—and email a summary of what they think by the end of the
semester—5 points.
2. Answer3 questions from The Devil Wears Prada (the questions are in the appendix)–10
points. I have copies of the movie in my office.
3. Watch the ethics tutorial, the original version of Wall Street and write a short essay
about what they learned (the questions are in the appendix)—10 points. I have copies
of the movie in my office.
4. Attend all classes --20 bonus points (awarded at the end of the semester when Professor
Soroko works on grades)
5. Take the course evaluation--5 points
6. Take the Map-Works survey or other HBS survey (5 points)
7. Other career development activity (maximum 10 points)
Note on the Devil Wears Prada
Most students fail to research the fashion industry as well as the movie itself. The purpose is to
get students to consider how entertainment diverges from reality. In real life, Andy would not be
granted an interview with Miranda. She would never make it past Human Resources. The movie
is an exaggeration of what it was like to work at Vogue magazine and not indicative of the entire
fashion magazine industry. In real life, Andy would not have received a positive evaluation from
Miranda because she walked off the job.
Many students base career decisions on what they see in the movies. However the reality of the
actual work people do in their careers is generally more demanding and less sexy than what
Hollywood portrays. This is why it is so important for students to not only research the career
fields that interest them, but also the culture of the organization they plan to work for.
What is Miranda described as a devil? Is it because she is so nasty? Actually it is because she
tempts her staff to act against their conscience.
20. 20
What is Realistic?
*Long hours
*The value of having a mentor
*Menial tasks of entry level hires
*The fact that getting along with the boss is more your responsibility than theirs
*The boss generally knows more than you think they do
*The importance of being a good “fit” with the company you work for values-wise
*Becoming unethical is a gradual process created by a series of compromises in decisions
contrary to what you know is right
What isn’t Realistic?
*Andy being granted an in-person interview with Miranda
*Andy getting the job despite not having any interest in the job, not being dressed appropriately,
or doing any research about the company prior to the interview
*Andy getting a good reference from Miranda
*Andy gaining access to very expensive designer clothes and accessories; being allowed to keep
them
21. 21
HBS 111 Important Notes
I have 2 weeks to report attendance errors to my peer educator.
More than 2 absences automatically lowers my maximum grade to a C, more than 4 will
lower my grade to an F.
Using a cell phone or lap top during class, and/or being more than 5 minutes late counts
as an absence
All of the quizzes are due at noon on the specified date
I am required to watch tutorials on Choosing a Major, Plagiarism. These are available on
D2L.
I am required to take notes at each class session. My notes will be graded by my peer
educator.
All written assignments will be handed into my peer educator. Work completed by a
friend or a peer in a prior semester will receive a zero
Assignments, Due Dates, Grading
Assignment Deadline Points
Attendance Weekly—Begin Week 3 120 Points
Course Requirement Quiz September 13 10 Points
Group A Project September 27 20 Points
Quiz 1 (17 questions) October 11 30 Points
Group B Projects October 25 30 Points
Group B MBTI/Dining
Etiquette
December 6 Part of Group B points
Quiz 2 (22 questions) November 8 30 Points
Career Development Guide and
ELI
November 29
Extra Credit November 15 Varies—See Red Course Manual
Quiz 3 (15 questions) December 6 35 Points
Notebook December 6 60 Points
50 Point Project December 6 50 Points
Course Evaluation + Bonus December 13 15 Points
Final Exam (29 questions) December 13 40 Points
22. 22
Ordering Refreshments
Your team will be allocated an on-campus budget of $100 to spend however you would like.
Past peer educators have ordered food from the food service for their meetings, went bowling in
the Underground or other fun activity.
If you decide to order food from Chartwell, please do at least 2 business days prior to avoid
late charges. Tell them to send the bill to me. My mailbox is in CH 229.
You will need to first create a customer account by following these 2 easy steps.
1. From the home page (www.stcloudstate.catertrax.com) in the Customer Login box in the
upper left corner, click the link next to “Need an Account?”
2. This will redirect you to a "Create an Account” page. Fill out the fields (required fields are
designated by asterisks) and create a password. Your password needs to be at least six characters
long and will need to be changed every 90 days for security reasons. Click “Continue” to create
your customer account.
23. 23
It's that simple! You are now setup to order from any internet accessed computer, smart phone,
or tablet device. If you have any further questions about setting up an account or placing an
order, please do not hesitate to contact us at 515-201-9485 or tess.walker@compass-usa.com.
24. 24
Section 4: Listening and Referral
Listening is not giving advice. . . Remember the speaker is always the
first to know… so you can’t rush them to a solution
Why do people want to talk to us?
Lonely
Confused
Need to vent
Need to talk it out
When will they talk to us?
What is your demeanor saying?
Will you understand?
Do you have time?
Will you maintain my confidence?
Will you judge me?
I was astounded. All I had to do was listen and Sally worked through her problem without my
giving a bit of advice. I realized how much I had been preventing others from build their self-
confidence by being too quick to tell them what to do.
Many communication problems result from a failure to listen. All of us get formal instruction on how to
read, write and speak, but very few get instruction on how to listen. Listening involves a more
sophisticated mental process that goes beyond hearing what another person has said. It demands energy
and discipline and is a learned skill. A failure to listen can create misunderstandings, hurt feelings,
confusion, missed information, embarrassment, and frustration. Effective listening involves not only
tuning into others, but listening to ourselves. Carefully listening to what we say and how we say it can
teach us a lot about ourselves.
The average person can think 4 times faster than they can talk—or hear what other people are saying.
This means we have roughly 45 seconds out of every minute to let our minds drift or think about our
response before the other person has finished talking. Small wonder that people retain only about 20% of
what they hear!
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Being a good listener is as important as being able to express yourself. Most of us think of listening as a
passive activity where we take in information from others—but good listeners are good at concentrating.
We need to teach ourselves to concentrate so we can be better listeners.
There are 3 levels of listening. Which one best describes you?
Level 1: Empathetic Listening. At this level, listeners refrain from judging the other person and place
themselves in the other person’s shoes. Empathetic listening involves listening with the heart.
Level 2: Literal Listening. At this level, people stay at the surface. They hear what the speaker is saying
but make little effort to understand their meaning or intent.
Level 3: Egocentric Listening. At this level, people passively listen and wait for the opportunity to talk.
They fake attention while thinking about other things.
The socialization process is a determining factor in people’s listening patterns. The socialization process
includes the development of an attitude of “OK’ness” in relation to self and others. According to Dr.
Berne’s theory, there are 4 attitudes. (1) I am OK—You are OK; (2) I am OK, You are not OK; (3) I am
not OK, You are OK and (4) I am not OK and you are Not OK.
If you subscribe to the notion that you are OK and others are not, you are quick to judge and criticize
what others have to say-- leaving others feeling frustrated and resentful. If you subscribe to the notion that
you are not OK, you tend to be preoccupied with how you are coming across and tend to miss what others
are saying.
To be an effective listener:
Clear your thoughts and judgments and create a quiet, distraction free environment. Sit across
from the person or right next to them.
Ask open ended questions rather than yes or no questions.
Identify words or behaviors that distract you or cause you to become defensive. These are known
as “hot button” issues. Be aware of your prejudice and bias. What words, ideas or beliefs shock
you or make you angry?
Listen for understanding rather than evaluation. We are all hardwired to evaluate the world in
terms of its capacity to threaten our survival--but most of the time we aren’t in life endangering
situations.
Watch the body language of the other person. Crossed arms could mean the other person is
getting defensive. Failure to make eye contact could mean the other person is angry, hurt or
uncomfortable.
Validate the other person. Repeat a phrase or key word to encourage them to keep talking.
Acknowledge thoughts and feelings. “I can see you are angry.”
Listen for feelings as well as words.
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Active listening means:
Validating—“This must be frustrating for you.”
Encouraging—“How did it make you feel?”
Questioning—“When did you first start having difficulties?”
Reflecting/Restating—“It sounds like you are worried that . . .”
Paraphrasing/Summarizing—“Let’s see if I got this right. . . Is this correct?”
Emphasizers—High-lighting words that the speaker uses to describe their emotions.
Bridges—what happened next?
If you are going to be there, be there. If not, plan for a better space or time.
Could You Just Listen?
When I ask you to listen and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked. When I
ask you to listen and you tell me why I shouldn’t feel a certain way, you are disrespecting me as
a person. When I ask you to listen and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem—
you have undermined by confidence and self-esteem.
When you do something for me that I can do for myself, you contribute to my fear and
inadequacy-- but when you accept how I feel no matter how irrational, I can quit trying to
convince you and get down to the business of understanding it.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them. Perhaps this is why God
is mute and doesn’t give advice on how to fix things. He just listens and lets you work it out for
yourself.
.
Body Language
One way to remember the techniques of nonverbal communication is to use the acronym
ROLES.
R—remain relaxed. If you are in a hurry or seem uninterested in what the person is saying, it will
show in your non-verbal’s.
O—adopt an open position. The way you stand or sit sends a message about your level of
attentiveness.
L—lean forward.
E—maintain eye contact
S—square up. The person should be sitting right in front of you. Sitting behind a desk may relay
the message that you are in some way superior.
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The Listening Assessment
HRDQ Second Edition
Staying Focused
When we attempt to listen to someone, there are many distractions that can cause our minds to wander.
Some of these distractions originate with the listener. We may have a personal problem that is troubling
us or may not be interested in the other person’s subject matter. Other distractions can be environmental
(loud noises, ringing phones) or the message itself (when we become mentally stuck on something
someone has said). Staying focused requires that you pull yourself back when necessary. Clearly a high
degree of self-awareness and the ability to exercise self-discipline are critical to staying focused.
Tips:
1. Mentally prepare to listen
2. Create an environment conducive to listening
3. Approach listening as an opportunity to learn
Capturing the Message—Seek First to Understand
Another aspect of listening is building a complete and accurate understanding of the speaker’s message.
To do so, you need to remain open to the speaker’s message while you are mentally interacting with their
ideas and information. The visible aspects are all the verbal interactions you initiate with the speaker to
make sure you have truly grasped their message. These include questions you ask to clarify the speaker’s
points and summaries you offer to confirm your understanding of the speaker’s central ideas.
Being open to any possible message requires that you maintain a state of mental neutrality. This means
putting aside your assumptions, prejudice, bias and over-sensitivity long enough to hear the speaker out.
It also means delaying judgment and not projecting your expectations for the conversation onto the
speaker’s message.
Mentally interacting with the speaker’s ideas and information means trying to make sense of what the
speaker is saying. This involves extracting the main ideas from his/her message, watching for nonverbal
cues and taking steps to remember the essence of the exchange.
Tips
1. Think of what you appreciate or admire about the speaker. This will help you feel more open to
his or her ideas.
2. Take strategic notes. Write down main points and notes under each heading.
3. Practice asking a variety of questions. Request more information, clarify or confirm
understanding.
4. Create comprehension check points. Paraphrase points immediately after the speaker has
completed making them.
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Helping the Speaker
As a listener, there are two ways that you can help the speaker. The first involves avoiding the kinds of
behaviors that suggest you are not really paying attention—gazing out the window, fidgeting,
interrupting, changing the subject and finishing the other person’s questions.
The second way you can actively help the speaker is by giving supportive feedback, whether verbal or
nonverbal. This kind of feedback is very encouraging because it confirms you are paying attention.
Leaning forward and maintaining eye contact tells the speaker you are interested in their message and
mentally tuned in. Verbal feedback can range from the simple, “Yes, I see” to reminding the speaker what
they were saying before an interruption or break in their train of thought.
Tips
1. Take a breath before you interrupt
2. Put your ego on hold—let the other person be the center of attention
3. Eliminate distractions
4. Prepare to be tested
Effective Responses:
“I” Statements
Specific, observable behaviors
Ask questions
Ineffective Responses:
Labeling
Giving advice
Judging
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How to Communicate Through Questions
To Clarify Performance, Career Goals, Intention and Purpose:
What do you think is most important?
If you had a magic wand, what would you wish for?
If you were positively living your values each day, what would you do differently?
When and how do you feel as though you’ve compromised your intentions?
When do you feel as though you are your most inspired self?
What do you consider to be your purpose?
What gets in the way of your purpose?
How can you more fully live your purpose?
To Improve Self-Awareness:
If you worked in a perfect world, how would you behave each day?
How is that different from reality?
How are you getting in your way?
How are others getting in your way?
What can you do about you?
What can you do about others?
What do you think happened in that situation?
How do you think others saw you?
What could you do to find out what your impact on others might be?
How could you gain an understanding of your impact on others?
When have you been right about your impact on others?
Making Mistakes:
What exactly is the worst thing that could happen if you make a mistake or do not know something?
How can you learn from making a mistake in this situation?
What is the cost of your fear of making a mistake or not knowing something?
What can you learn if you admit that you don’t know something?
To Assess Progress:
How would you know if you improved?
What would you consider a win?
What would you consider going backwards?
What do you consider to be the best times for you?
What do you consider to be the worst times for you?
Needing Approval:
Do you really need this person’s approval?
Who/what makes this person’s approval so important?
What would be the worst that could happen if you don’t get this person’s approval?
How has trying to gain this person’s approval hurt your relationships with others?
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Needing to be Right:
How do you know that you are right and they are wrong?
How is being right affecting your energy toward other things?
How is being right affecting your relationships with others?
To Promote Social Expertise:
What can you find that you appreciate about ______?
How can connecting with others improve your performance?
When have you benefited by knowing and working with others?
What might you gain by inviting participation?
What might it look like if you asked for participation?
What are your concerns about collaboration?
How would you feel if you were asked to participate?
How would you feel if you were left out?
When have you resolved a conflict in a way that you felt was positive for both parties?
What actions did you take?
How has an unresolved conflict interfered with your goals?
31. 31
11 Tips for Better Email
by Laura Stack
I remember opening my first e-mail account and thinking how much fun it was to send a message to a
friend. However, most people no longer find e-mail simple or fun. E-mail messaging now exceeds
telephone traffic and is the dominant form of business communication. Some workers tell me that
handling e-mail consumes half of their day. A recent Wall Street Journal report indicates that most
employees spend three to four hours a day on e-mail.
Don't you wish that every person who received a new e-mail account had to agree to follow certain rules?
Actually, there are certain professional standards expected for e-mail use. Here are some things to keep in
mind regarding professional e-mail conduct:
1. Be informal, not sloppy. Your colleagues may use commonly accepted abbreviations in e-mail, but
when communicating with external customers, everyone should follow standard writing protocol. Your e-
mail message reflects you and your company, so traditional spelling, grammar, and punctuation rules
apply.
2. Keep messages brief and to the point. Just because your writing is grammatically correct does not mean
that it has to be long. Nothing is more frustrating than wading through an e-mail message that is twice as
long as necessary. Concentrate on one subject per message whenever possible.
3. Use sentence case. USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE SHOUTING. Using all
lowercase letters creates the impression of laziness. For emphasis, use asterisks or bold formatting to
emphasize important words. Do not, however, use a lot of colors or graphics embedded in your message,
because not everyone uses an e-mail program that can display them.
4. Use the blind copy and courtesy copy appropriately. Don't use bcc to keep others from seeing who
you copied; it shows confidence when you directly cc anyone receiving a copy. Do use bcc, however,
when sending to a large distribution list, so recipients won't have to see a huge list of names. Be cautious
with your use of cc; overuse simply clutters inboxes. Copy only people who are directly involved.
5. Don't use e-mail as an excuse to avoid personal contact. Don't forget the value of face-to-face or even
voice-to-voice communication. E-mail communication isn't appropriate when sending confusing or
emotional messages. Think of the times you've heard someone in the office indignantly say, "Well, I sent
you e-mail." If you have a problem with someone, speak with that person directly. Don't use e-mail to
avoid an uncomfortable situation or to cover up a mistake.
6. Remember that e-mail isn't private. I've seen people fired for using e-mail inappropriately. E-mail is
considered company property and can be retrieved, examined, and used in a court of law. Unless you are
using an encryption device (hardware or software), you should assume that e-mail over the Internet is not
secure. Never put in an e-mail message anything that you wouldn't put on a postcard. Remember that e-
mail can be forwarded, so unintended audiences may see what you've written. You might also
inadvertently send something to the wrong party, so always keep the content professional to avoid
embarrassment.
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7. Be sparing with group e-mail. Send group e-mail only when it's useful to every recipient. Use the "reply
all" button only when compiling results requiring collective input and only if you have something to add.
Recipients get quite annoyed to open an e-mail that says only "Me too!"
8. Use the subject field to indicate content and purpose. Don't just say, "Hi!" or "From Laura." Agree on
acronyms to use that quickly identify actions. For example, your team could use <AR> to mean "Action
Required" or <MSR> for the Monthly Status Report. It's also a good practice to include the word "Long"
in the subject field, if necessary, so that the recipient knows that the message will take time to read.
9. Remember that your tone can't be heard in e-mail. Have you ever attempted sarcasm in an e-mail, and
the recipient took it the wrong way? E-mail communication can't convey the nuances of verbal
communication. In an attempt to infer tone of voice, some people use emoticons, but use them sparingly
so that you don't appear unprofessional. Also, don't assume that using a smiley will diffuse a difficult
message.
10. Use a signature that includes contact information. To ensure that people know who you are, include a
signature that has your contact information, including your mailing address, Web site, and phone
numbers.
11. Summarize long discussions. Scrolling through pages of replies to understand a discussion is annoying.
Instead of continuing to forward a message string, take a minute to summarize it for your reader. You
could even highlight or quote the relevant passage, then include your response. Some words of caution:
If you are forwarding or reposting a message you've received, do not change the wording.
If you want to repost to a group a message that you received individually, ask the author for
permission first.
Give proper attribution.
Use these suggestions as a starting point to create e-mail etiquette rules that will help your team stay
efficient and professional
33. 33
Section 5: Self Awareness and Relating To Others
One of the most common career “de-railers” is a lack of self-knowledge. Personality impacts a
whole host of workplace factors such as job performance, relationships with clients and co-
workers, communication and job satisfaction. One of the most accurate personality assessment
instruments in use today is the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). The MBTI measures an
individual’s natural preferences on four dimensions. These differences form the basis of 16
different personality types. A person’s natural preferences do not change over time but as we age
we tend to develop abilities in our non-preferred dimensions. Our preferences do not dictate the
suitability of various careers. However, our preferences will influence our job satisfaction and
effectiveness on the job.
Extraversion or Introversion
Where we draw our energy
Extraverts get energized from the world of people, things, and events outside of themselves.
They tend to be outgoing, active and responsive to their environment. Introverts are energized by
their thoughts and ideas. Too much external stimulation tires them out.
Sensing or Intuition
Ways we perceive and gather information
Sensors rely on their five senses to gather information and tend to focus on the here and now.
Intuitives use their imagination to see new possibilities and gain new insights.
Thinking or Feeling
Ways that we make decisions
Thinkers base their decision on impersonal analysis and logic. Feelers base their decisions on
values that are important to them.
Judging or Perceiving
Ways of living in the world around us
Judgers like having things settled and prefer to live in a planned and orderly manner. They are
stressed by uncertainty. Perceivers prefer to live in a flexible, spontaneous manner. They get
stressed when they have to make a decision.
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Extravert Introvert
Share things openly Keep to themselves
Seek large group interactions Seek small group interaction
Are activity oriented Are calm and reserved
Want fellowship Want autonomy
Ask for help Look inside for help
Sensor Intuitive
Like hearing details first Like hearing general ideas first
Enjoy practical conversations Enjoy clever conversations
Move in linear fashion Skip around as they make connections
Use detailed descriptions Use metaphorical descriptions
Use real, tangible experience Use imagination, ingenuity
Prefer the tried and true Prefer the new and untried
Thinking Feeling
Offer objective advice Offer supportive advice
Exhibit skepticism Exhibit caring
Examine conflict to find truth Avoid conflict to maintain harmony
Start with a critique Start with praise
Fair Compassionate
Judger Perceiver
Use decisive words Use hedging words--maybe, perhaps
Dislike being sidetracked Enjoy being sidetracked
Are results focused Discuss options
Indecision is stressful
Aim to be right
Premature closure is stressful
Process is important
Aim to miss nothing
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Dominant Process
The process that gets utilized the most is called your dominant function. Perceivers (P’s)
typically favor their perceiving functions (S or N). Judgers (J’s) favor their judging functions
(T or F). For perceivers, their second favorite function is the judging function and for judgers
it is their perceiving function. To arrive at a conclusion, people who prefer their judging
function shut down their perception (at least for the time being). All the evidence is in and
anything more is irrelevant and immaterial. Conversely, in the perceptive attitude, people shut
off judgment. Not all the evidence is in, so it is too soon to make decisions or draw any
conclusions.
For example, ENT’s who find intuition more interesting than thinking will naturally give
intuition the right away and subordinate thinking to it. Because intuition is a perceptive
process, this individual is an ENTP. On the other hand, ENT’s who find thinking more
attractive than intuition will let their thinking take charge of their lives and subordinate their
intuitive processes to it. These individuals are ENTJ’s.
36. 36
The opposite is true for introverts because their dominant function is focused internally rather
than externally. Consequently, for the INFJ, the dominant function is N rather than F although
their F is what is extraverted to the outer world. Because what is exhibited to the outer world
is not their dominant function, their abilities may be undersold.
The opposite of the dominant function is the inferior function or the one that is least
accessible and developed. It generally rears its head in time of extreme stress.
38. 38
Career Counseling Appointments with the MBTI
The assignment for the career counseling appointments addresses 4 questions.
1. What kind of careers would be a good fit for someone with your profile?
2. What kinds of organizations would be a good fit for someone with your profile?
3. What are some strengths that you should work to develop while you are in college?
4. Ask for the MBTI profile for the career interest you have identified or find interesting.
Personality typing is based on the belief that people are born with a specific personality type, and
their types do not change throughout life. Certainly people grow, develop and change as a result
of their life experiences. And people develop a range of behaviors that are appropriate to given
situations. This prompts them to act differently at parties and funerals. However, it is really
people’s behaviors that change and not their personality types.
The Approach
Begin by asking students if they have any questions about their assessments results. Some
students aren’t sure what their preferences are and until this is clarified, there is no point in going
beyond that. There is a confirmation exercise in the red book in the MBTI section that asks a
series of questions. Have the student check the sentences that resonate with them and which ever
has the higher total is their type. You can also refer them to me if they are really confused.
Then, refer to the “Doing What You Are” book that discusses each type—specifically the
sections that address what career satisfactions means for each type, the types of career (italicized
are the most common fields for their particular type) and ask the student what are they thinking?
If their interest fits their type, I move on to the strengths and weaknesses section. If it doesn’t, I
ask them to think through the challenges they might face. These challenges include:
a. Having to put more effort into the work than others who are better suited for it. This can
lead to frustration (because you are never quite as good), burn-out and/or a lack of
balance in one’s life.
b. Having difficulty communicating with “colleagues” because you don’t fit in. For
example, as an NF I find communicating with ST’s very difficult because we don’t value
the same things or see the world the same way.
39. 39
It is also important to talk about organizational type. Each organization has a “culture” and your
type impacts your fit into a company’s culture.
Which Heart Function Matches Each Box?
Want security and predictability
Prefer an “impersonal” workplace
Focused on efficiency with clear cut
roles and responsibilities
Government and large corporate
structures is where they will be
happiest because they are slow to
change and very bureaucratic
Life’s entrepreneurs, want to work
with highly competent people like
themselves
Freedom to explore ideas and
authority to develop systems
Achievement oriented workplaces
that strive for excellence
Small start-up organizations where
there is considerable freedom to lead
and innovate
Want to work in friendly cooperative
environment that care about people
and help one another achieve
common goals
Competition isn’t their thing
Crave security
Mid-size organizations with an
established track record where people
value working as a team
Need to work in a values “match”
environment
Environments that reward and
recognize their creative, visionary
abilities
Serving social needs and helping
people grow and develop
The nonprofit sector, especially those
that help people in a personally,
meaningful way
I give each student a copy of the MBTI booklet to keep as a reference and go over the business
careers table. Then we look at the page devoted to their type. We talk about their dominant
preference (source of strength) and their inferior (source of weakness). And I share what
happens when their type goes into the grip. Basically, when we are stressed out we become a
child-like version of our opposite type. An INFJ like me becomes a poor expression of an ESTP.
E—nervous energy, interrupt, unfiltered words
S—micromanage unimportant things, obsess about details
T—abrasively critical
P—can not focus or get anything done—spin my wheels
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When we have to spend too much of our day in the opposite domains our inferior traits come
out. For example, when I have to extravert too much, it drains me. And the beast emerges.
Generally doing things that are in our preferred domains helps. I need to find a quiet place and
be left alone!
41. 41
Section 6: Change
In Chinese, the symbol for crisis is the same as the symbol for opportunity. With every life
transition, the difficulties we encounter open doors to new opportunities. Change forces us to grow
and develop. But change can be difficult, even when it improves our lives. Change represents the
end of something and can trigger all kinds of feelings of loss and insecurity.
We all make changes in our lives—in our diet/exercise routine, the way we manage and spend our money,
relationships we begin or end. Find a partner and discuss a recent change you have made in your life.
Then have the other person do the same. Finally, discuss the questions below:
1. What happened that made you decide to change?
2. What steps (if any) did you take to prepare for the change?
3. What did you change?
4. Were you successful?
5. Have you continued the new behavior? Why or why not?
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Stages of Change Model
Every beginning ends something.
Change has been researched for decades. The decision to change may be a discrete event, but the
transition process that follows is both messy and occurs in stages—often over a lengthy period of time.
As a result, it’s not uncommon for people to move backwards and forwards between the various stages of
transition before they embrace the change. An example of change is deciding to attend college. The
transition is everything that follows from this decision. Change is situational. Transition is psychological.
To successfully move through the transition process, individuals need to move past their
defensive/resistant, emotionally charged posture to one of openness and acceptance. To get beyond their
defensiveness, individuals must be allowed to fully experience the discomfort associated with the status
quo. Individuals who manage the transition process must allow individuals to feel the full effect of
maintaining their present behavior or their motivation will be lost. Managers of change must also address
the emotions involved in the early stages of transition—the feeling of loss, the sense of incompetence—or
they will be ineffective in guiding the individual through this process.
Change is difficult because it involves moving from the known to the unknown. It can be a very
confusing time because of the uncertainty it creates. Plans or checklists provide individuals with a sense
of security and control during times of great uncertainty.
The table on the next page identifies behaviors and appropriate responses to those at various stages of
change. As a manager of change, your goal is to help individuals clarify why they need to change and
what changes they will make in their lives. Forcing someone to change before they are ready, before they
see the need, is a waste of time and energy. Compliance is not the same as change.
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Stage Behaviors Role
Pre Contemplation Indifference, Denial.
Change is more
difficult than the status
quo; costs outweigh
benefits.
Your role is to raise their
awareness-- to make them
conscious of how their behavior
is affecting them and those they
care about.
Contemplation Frustration, Anger,
Depression
Behavior is creating
distress
Your role is to offer support by
listening, not offering advice.
Help them clarify the problem.
What are you unhappy about?
What do you want to happen? Is
this something you want or are
you being pressured by
someone else?
Preparation Openness, Searching Your role at this stage is to offer
resources. Brainstorm. Help
them create a vision of the
future and create an action plan
to make it so. Give them
feedback. Are their
goals/checklists reasonable and
realistic?
Action Trial and Error,
Experimentation
Your role at this stage is to
serve as coach. Review their
plan. Follow up periodically.
Ask if they need help.
Maintenance Consistently Exhibit
New Behavior
Your role at this stage is to
support/encourage the
individual (how is it going?)
and celebrate their success.
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Steps in a Referral:
1. Ask--why do you want this to happen? Determine if they are motivated or being
pressured by someone else.
2. Reality check. Is their desire realistic based on their talents, resources, time, motivation?
3. Make a plan—Brainstorm, what are they willing to do?
4. Commit to action—Where/when will they need help?
5. Reinforce and forecast—This is possible, encourage!
6. Plan the first step and first reward—How will you know if you are successful?
Intervention
As a peer educator you have a higher level of responsibility because you are a role model for
other students. You will need to intervene in the following situations
a. To correct misinformation
b. To stop inappropriate behavior
Students may repeat things they have heard that are untrue, like a certain faculty member is an
unfair grader. They may also say inappropriate things about other students like “She is such a
!&@#*!”
1. Assess the situation. Is this something you can address or do you need to ask for help?
“That doesn’t sound right. I don’t think the Pre-Business Advising Office would tell a student
to do that.”
2. Point out the behavior to help someone hear what they are really saying. “What I hear you
saying is all business teachers are unfair.” Alternatively, describe the situation. “I am sensing
a lot of tension here. I wonder if we could step back for a few minutes.”
3. Appeal to principles. “I know you would never intentionally say something to hurt someone.”
Or—“Help me to understand why you think that or why you said that.”
4. Bring in allies—if you can, involve others who are noticing the same behavior or someone
who can support what you are saying to the other person.
5. Set limits. Decide where you draw the line. “I won’t listen to racial slurs”.
45. 45
Resistance is a normal reaction when we try to hold someone accountable. Use “I” statements to
avoid putting students on the defensive. It is best to respond with one of the following:
1. Reflective responses—acknowledge the resistance. “I know it is not easy to hear what I
have to say.”
2. Reframing the resistance—acknowledge their concerns. “You are right, a lot of people
do make off-color jokes and I need your help to get others to realize how much they hurt
people.”
3. Emphasizing the right to disagree—“It is your right to disagree with me—but I am
asking that you consider what I am saying.”
4. Emphasizing personal choice and control—“I am offering information. You have the
right to decide what to do.”
It’s also important to be familiar with the support services offered by our campus. Please see the
appendix of this booklet for a list of campus offices and the services they provide. When you can
help, act. When it is beyond your scope or would endanger your safety, report the matter to the
Professor Soroko or other campus professional.
Strategies for Managing Change:
Individuals change when they experience dissatisfaction. The pain associated with not changing
is greater than the fear of changing. It is a personal decision motivated by self-interest.
Organization’s change is driven by external factors such as consumer preferences or
environmental issues. Organizational change involves transitioning groups of individuals through
the change process.
1. Environmental Strategies—involves creating the type of environment that promotes change.
I call this the “don’t buy the Cheetos” method because if they aren’t in the house, you can’t
succumb to temptation. This approach is often implemented at high levels of organizations via
policy decisions that promote desired behaviors. Can you think of an example?
2. Social Norms Strategies—people are social creatures and act in ways they see as being the norm
even when their perceptions are incorrect. Countering the notion that “everyone is doing it” will
support a change effort. This approach is often used at high levels of organizations through media
campaigns and target marketing. Can you think of an example?
3. Motivational Interviewing—meet privately with individuals in a non-judgmental, non-
confrontational way to help them look at the issues and make decisions that will hopefully move
them along the stages of change. This approach is used when the individual doesn’t see the need
to change so they need to be supported to do so.
4. Individual Approaches—serve as a role model, be the change you want to see.
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Changing Organizations
Vision + Skills + Incentives + Resources + Action Plans = Change
Each of these elements is needed to change organizations. In the absence of any one of these
elements, the following results will occur.
______+ Skills + Incentives + Resources + Action Plans = Confusion
Vision + _____+ Incentives + Resources + Action Plans = Anxiety
Vision + Skills + ________+ Resources + Action Plans = Gradual Change
Vision + Skills + Incentives + _______+ Action Plans = Frustration
Vision + Skills + Incentives + Resources + __________ = False Starts
Source: Stamats Communications, Inc. White Paper No. 5, “Shifts and Nudges: Important
Lessons from Old and New Approaches to Marketing Colleges and Universities, February 1998.
47. 47
How Peer Educators Influence Change
A freshmen student in your peer group is engaging in self-defeating behaviors (not
showing up for class, handing things in late) so they aren’t doing well in school
PE
Roles
Friend Educator Activist Role
Model
Team
Member
Action I am worried
about you.
Survey group
during the
semester to
determine how
things are
going
Use personal
knowledge to
influence
course
policies
Share your
story,
personal
struggles
Identifying
when you
need to ask
for help and
support
Change Personal
awareness
Improvement
in grades
New course
requirements
or
expectations
Behavioral
Change
Personal
understanding
Strategy Motivational
interview;
listening,
support and
encouragement
Offer
resources,
correct
misperceptions
Influence
policy--
environmental
Be the
change
you want
to see
Stages of
change
48. 48
Section 7: Diversity and Inclusiveness
The challenge is to connect with each other through our similarities and still appreciate and
celebrate our differences.
It is important for peer educators to understand their biases because it affects their ability to
listen and communicate. Biases act as filters that interfere with the message and ability to
achieve clear understanding. Most of what makes us who we are is invisible to others.
As a peer educator it is important to create an environment of inclusiveness; to be approachable
so students feel they can ask you for help.
Exercise
On the index cards provided to you, write down the following:
1. Three of the most important people in your life.
2. Three of the most important events that have occurred in your life.
3. Three of the most important places in your life.
4. Three things you enjoy doing during your free time.
Now find a partner, preferably someone you do not know well. Each partner has 3 minutes to tell
their partner all about themselves but they cannot discuss anything they wrote on their cards.
Group Discussion
What was it like to do this exercise? Easy? Difficult? Why?
How much energy did it take to talk about yourself without mentioning the items on your
card?
Why do you think we did this exercise as part of the diversity section?
As peer educators, what can you do to make it safe for someone to reveal more of
themselves to you?
Stereotypes
Sometimes the words that we use can make others feels excluded and can perpetuate stereotypes.
A stereotype is an exaggerated belief, image or distorted truth about a person or group; a
generalization that allows for little or no individual differences or social variation. Using
acronyms that have meaning to insiders is one way to make others feel like they do not belong or
are not welcome. Language that perpetuates stereotypes (exaggerated belief, image or distorted
truth about a person or group; a generalization that allows for little or no individual differences
or social variation) is another way of disrespecting others and making them feel as though they
aren’t important and do not belong.
What stereotypes have people assigned to you? How did it make you feel?
49. 49
Emotional Intelligence and the FIRO B
Emotional intelligence refers to how smart we are intrapersonally and interpersonally. Emotionally
intelligent individuals understand that emotion is information. EQ is more than twice as predictive of
performance/success as IQ because leadership is more about EQ than IQ.
Emotional intelligence as a concept can be defined in the following manner.
The dimension that causes the most difficult is self-control. To get a better handle on this,
consider that your brain has 3 dimensions.
1. Reptile Brain—this is the part of the brain that is concerned with your continued
survival. It triggers the flight or fight response behind fear and anger. It releases
hormones when there is any sign of danger.
2. Limbic or Emotional Brain—survival is also a concern of this part of the brain but
it is also the source of complex emotion like happiness or sadness.
3. Neocortex—the thinking brain responsible for logical and rational thought.
When the reptile brain is triggered, the others shut down completely. When it has overtaken you
it is important to recognize it and find a way to calm yourself down. Take a break, breath,
journalize. Wait, do not act!
What triggers the reptile brain into action are “hot button issues” which are generally the scars of
old wounds.
Self-Control Consideration
Emotional reactions are largely determined by how we think about life events. The sequence
goes something like this:
Something happens----------We have a thought about it ------------ We experience emotion
Personal
Competence
Self-Awareness
How well you know yourself
and how accurate you are at
assessing self
Self-Control &
Regulation
How well you manage yourself
Relational
Competence
Awareness of Others
How well you understand
others and are able to
empathize
Building Relationships
How well you build/manage
relationships with others
(communication, managing
conflict, building influence,
catalyzing change)
50. 50
For example, let’s say that the person you have been dating for 3 years has recently become
unfaithful. What are some possible reactions to this scenario?
Unfaithful Act ----------- That &**$%! lied to me ---------------------- Anger, despair
Unfaithful Act ----------- I knew that something wasn’t right --------- Relief it is over
Unfaithful Act ----------- I will have to start all over again------------ Depression/sadness
As a result, it is possible to control how we feel about things—good or bad—by how we choose
to interpret them.
EQ Assessment
The EISA (Emotional Intelligence Skills Assessment) evaluates 5 aspects of EQ.
Perceiving—ability to accurately recognize, attend to and understand emotion
Managing—ability to effectively manage, control and express emotions
Decision-Making—the appropriate application of emotion to manage change and solve
problems
Achieving—the ability to generate the necessary emotions to self-motivate in the pursuit
of realistic and meaningful goals
Influencing—the ability to recognize, manage and evoke emotion within oneself and
others to promote change
If you would like to take the EISA, please ask Professor Soroko.
51. 51
FIRO B (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation-Behavior)
*Developed by William Schutz in 1958 to assess how teams performed in high pressure situations
*FIRO B was heavily used by industry until the MBTI became the instruments of choice in business.
*FIRO B is an assessment tool that helps individuals and teams understand their preferences in satisfying
three basic social needs, those that explain most human interaction. It assumes that individuals are
motivated by 3 interpersonal needs.
A. Inclusion (Involvement)—the degree to which one wants to belong to a group, team or
community
B. Control (Influence)—the extent to which one prefers structure, hierarchy and influence
C. Affection (Connection, Openness)—ones preference for warmth, disclosure and intimacy
For each of these factors, FIRO-B assesses how much individuals express the need (they take the
initiative) and how much they want to others to take the initiative.
Expressed Inclusion—I make an effort to include others in my activities, to belong
Wanted Inclusion—I want others to include me, to invite me and to notice me
Expressed Control—I make an effort to exert control and influence and to organize and direct
others
Wanted Control—I want others to provide well defined work situations and clear expectations
and instructions
Expressed Affection—I make an effort to get close to people, to express personal feelings and be
supportive of others
Wanted Affection—I want others to act warmly towards me, to share their feelings and encourage
my efforts
52. 52
The overall scores reveal the degree to which people achieve satisfaction from their interactions with
others versus time spent alone. There are twelve primary scales on which one can receive a score from 0
to 9. The differences between what I do and what I want to do and what I get and what I want to provide
creates six additional scales.
0-1 Very low scores. Behaviors are seldom observed.
2-3 Low scores. Not noticeable characteristics of the person.
4-5 Borderline scores. Sometimes observable, sometimes not.
6-7 High scores. Noticeable characteristic.
8-9 Very high score. Behavior is strongly characteristic of the person.
Caveats:
1. There are no right or wrong, good or bad profiles
2. It is possible that MB type and FIRO B preferences will not match. MB type is how an individual
is “hardwired” while FIRO B reflects learned or adaptive behaviors.
3. FIRO B scores can and do change. They are meant to be starting points for exploration and are
not meant to be definitive.
4. FIRO B assumes you have the capacity to change anything you do not like about our behavior if
you allow yourself to learn how.
5. Your results may have been affected by a number of factors including stress or mood at the time
you took the instrument; irritation at how some of the questions appeared redundant, etc.
6. Extroverts tend to get higher scores on all dimensions except “wanted control”.
7. All types tend to have “wanted affection” as their second highest score.
FIRO B helps a person understand how they typically behave with other people and how they want
other people to act towards them. It is a tool that helps individuals expand self-awareness; to increase
their personal productivity and effectiveness as well as that of the teams. (see Johari Window below).
53. 53
Issues
People generally get along with those whose profiles complement their own. They do not get along as
well when behaviors/expectations are mismatched. For example, a person who expresses affection will
get along quite well with a person who wants affection. A person who openly expresses affection will
make those with low affection needs very uncomfortable.
Individuals who have inconsistencies between their expressed and wanted preferences may send mixed
messages and cause confusion for the people they work with/for and/or may find themselves frustrated.
An individual who has high wanted inclusion but low expressed inclusion may find that they are
excluded from the activities of others because of their failure to invite others to participate in their
undertakings.
An individual who has high wanted affection but low expressed affection may not receive the
encouragement or recognition they need.
An individual who has high expressed control and low expressed inclusion may be perceived as
overbearing and inappreciative of others ideas.
Discussion Questions
1. Do you think the FIRO B accurately captures your behavior?
2. Consider your results and ask yourself how the different permutations affect
a. Your relationships with colleagues
b. Your relationships with managers/supervisors
c. How you make decisions/set priorities
d. How you supervise direct reports
e. How you handle conflict/negotiation
f. Your notion of the “ideal” work environment
What changes could you make to improve your relationships with these different constituencies or
outcomes in these situations? Have you experienced any personal consequences due to mismatches
between your wanted and expressed behaviors and those of others?
Sources:
Rogers, Waterman. Introduction to FIRO Business. CPP, Inc. Mountain View, CA.
Hammer, Schnell. FIRO Business Leadership Report: User’s Guide. CPP, Inc. Mountain View, CA.
Wikipedia. Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FIRO-B
Johari Window. Businessballs.com. http://www.businessballs.com/johariwindowmodel.htm
54. 54
Section 8: The Ethical Lens Inventory (ELI)
Ethics is best defined as actions that reflect our core values. Catharyn Baird
The Ethical Lens Inventory (ELI) is an assessment that helps you identify your core values and beliefs.
Catharyn Baird’s analysis of philosophical theory revealed four basic values form the foundation for
ethical behavior. Ethical theorists have suggested that living a “good life” is driven by our ethical
principles. How we prioritize competing core values determines our primary ethical lens — the
perspective that we use to determine what actions are “right” in a given situation. No score is inherently
better than another. Your placement on the grid gives you an indication of not only your strengths and
gifts but also the points of temptation and hubris, places where you are ethically vulnerable.
There are 4 basic ethical theories.
Duty-Based Ethics—duties that flow from universally applicable rules are absolute obligations
that you must do regardless of your personal feelings or inclinations. Ethical acts result from
doing our duty not from the outcome of our actions.
Consequentialism—morality is about creating as much happiness in the world as possible. The
moral task is therefore to create as much pleasure as we can, for ourselves and others.
Social Contract Ethics—Humans are competitive by nature who seek security by amassing
power and wealth. Rules are necessary to ensure everyone has an equal chance of pursuing their
interests and goals—so that opportunity is not defined by birthright. Everyone contributes to the
good of society and should be valued as equal.
Virtue Ethics—Doing good things/helping others so they become an inherent part of who you
are. Goodness is not necessarily governed by moral rules or laws. The motivation that prompts a
behavior is what makes it ethical.
55. 55
Which creates tensions along two dimensions:
Rationality (R): Using the skills of critical thinking and analysis — our heads — to determine
universal principles or systems of justice to be applied in specific situations.
Ethical theories known as deontology, the study of duties, emphasize
rationality.
Sensibility (S): Using the skills of empathy and compassion — our hearts and intuition — to
determine what specific actions we should take in specific situations to reach
ethical goals or demonstrate core virtues. Ethical theories known as teleology,
the study of goals and virtue, emphasize sensibility.
Autonomy (A): Individuals determining for themselves what values should take priority in
determining what is ethical behavior. Ethical theories that emphasize personal
responsibility tend to favor autonomy.
Equality (E): The community determining what values should take priority in determining
what is ethical. Ethical theories that emphasize being responsive to the needs
of the community tend to favor equality.
56. 56
Strong Preference: The more strongly you have a preference along either of the continua, the more
aware you need to be of the blind spots that come with that particular part of
the lens.
Moderate Preference: If you find yourself in a position of moderate preference, you often know your
own ethical commitments and are able to act upon them, but also can nuance
your actions in response to the other ethical preferences.
Balanced Preference: The balanced preference is not necessarily better. The closer to the center of
the grid you find yourself, the more likely that you may be conflicted among
the values and thus be unable to choose a path of action or unaware of your
own ethical preferences.
You can tell what someone’s preferred lens is by listening to how they describe themselves and
how they justify the choices they make in difficult situations.
Rights (R+A)
Duties: what privileges
every individual in
community can claim and
what corresponding
duties go with those
freedoms.
Results(S+A)
Happiness: creating
conditions where each
person can freely choose
how to live their lives and
be accountable for those
choices
Relationship (R+E)
Justice: assuring that
policies and processes are
in place to assist those
without voice, resources
or power as they seek to
be productive citizens in
community
Reputation (S+E)
Virtue: identifying the
competencies and
qualities of being
(virtues) needed to live
into the responsibilities of
various roles in the
community
57. 57
You can tell what someone’s preferred lens is by listening to how they describe themselves and
how they justify the choices they make in difficult situations.
The values associated with each lens is listed below.
Temperance is the quality of being moderate and self–restrained in action and speech. Those
whose preferred lens is the Rights Lens will value the practice of self-control.
Prudence is the quality of making careful choices in every-day affairs, using caution and
foresight. Those whose preferred lens is the Results Lens will value the quality of learning to
judge carefully between competing actions to get their preferred results.
Justice is the quality of being impartial and fair. This virtue includes the ability to balance
between individual and group rights. Those whose preferred lens is the Relationship Lens will
value the practice of being fair in their dealings.
Fortitude is the quality of being able to bear hardship and uncertainty with calm courage. Those
whose preferred lens is the Reputation Lens will value the quality of fulfilling their role with
endurance and patience.
Ethical maturity results by asking ourselves the right questions, that reflect each of the four
lenses identified.
Rights/Responsibilities
Temperance and Self-Control
By using reason I identify the right
principles to guide my decisions
Blind Spot: Motive justifies method
Relationship
Being Impartial and Fair
I support processes to ensure
everyone has equal opportunity
Blind Spot: Overconfidence in
process: Good processes can have a
bad result
Results
Careful decision-making to get
preferred outcome
People acting in their self interests
promote the common good
Blind Spot: Cut corners, conflicts of
interest
Reputation
Fulfill my role with integrity
I make virtuous choices, defined
by my role in my community
Blind Spot: Unrealistic
expectations
Ethical
Lens
Inventory
58. 58
ASSIGNMENT Details
In six to eight sentences, describe your own personal code of ethics. This assignment should be completed
after reflection on which values of the Four Ethical Lenses™ are the most important to you. Remember to
translate your core values into specific behaviors.
Rights/Responsibilities Lens: What are your duties and responsibilities? What principles will you
follow in carrying them out?
Results Lens: What high level goals (e.g. justice, autonomy, independence, etc.) are important to
you and how will they guide your life’s decisions/choices?
Relationship Lens: What actions, habits, behavior, and character traits will you embrace to build
healthy relationships in all aspects of your life?
Reputation Lens: What virtues have been role modeled by important mentors and how will you
develop/apply these character traits over the course of your life
AFTER YOU WRITE YOUR PERSONAL ETHICS STATEMENT:
Share your ethics code with someone close to you and see if they agree with what you wrote.
Look back at the information about your primary lens: does your statement reflect that lens?
Remember: Your personal ethics continue to grow and develop over time and are influenced by many life
circumstances and events. Your Personal Ethics Statement will continue to change and evolve over time.
59. 59
Section 9: Team Development
Teamwork is almost always lacking within organizations that fail, and generally present in those
that succeed. So why don’t more businesses build effective teams? Because creating an effective
team is very difficult to do. It can’t be bought or attained by hiring the most intelligent. It
requires levels of courage and discipline that most people don’t possess. Teams fail because
people focus on their self-interests and self-preservation instead of the collective good.
When people come together and set aside their individual needs for the good of the whole, they
accomplish what may appear to be impossible. They do this by eliminating the politics and
confusion that inhibit most organizations, get more done in less time and at less cost. The team
development process involves at least a partial redefinition of self; seeing oneself in a way that
addresses the needs of the team rather than personal goals.
Stages of Team Development and Productivity
Research on group dynamics has found that team development is not a linear process but that
most groups proceed through four stages:
Forming: During this phase, individual behavior is often driven by a desire to be accepted.
People gather information and develop impressions of each other; the scope of the group and
how to approach others in the group. Members avoid conflict and controversy.
0
50
100
150
200
250
Forming Storming Norming Performing
60. 60
Tools: Icebreakers to help members get to know each other. Discuss and define ground rules for
behavior and decision-making. Help members define and communicate their role in the group.
Storming: During this phase, members actively work to build cohesiveness out of many ideas
and structures. The diversity of ideas, work styles and personalities can lead to conflict within
the group. Members may look to group leaders or ground rules to resolve conflicts.
Tools: Clarify expectations of group members’ behaviors both during meeting as well as outside
the group. Provide training on consensus building, decision-making and conflict resolution.
Include team building exercises so members can practice working together.
Ways groups can make decision are by majority vote, consensus, compromise or arbitration.
Regardless of what method a group uses to make a decision, groups should consider the
following:
1. Clearly define the problem or issue
2. Discuss how the problem or issue impacts the group and the group’s mission
3. Brainstorm as many options or solutions as possible. Brainstorm guidelines include:
Write down all ideas on a board or chart paper
No judging allowed! All ideas are viable, possible and accepted
Set a time limit of no more than 10 minutes
When the time limit is reached, ask each group member to identify their top 3 favorites and vote.
Keep the ideas that receive the most votes and eliminate the rest. Once you have reduced the list
to 3 or 5 ideas, have a group discussion on which idea would work best. Encourage input from
all group members. Then decide how to implement and move forward with the idea.
Norming: Group members develop close ties with each other and a group identity. The group
gels and functions as a team because they agree on rules, values, behavior and how to work
together. Everyone feels encouraged to share their ideas and the group translates their creative
problem solving into action. Members may resist some forms of change, such as expanding the
group’s membership.
Tools: Celebrate the group’s success. Conduct a retreat to identify emerging issues and discuss
how the group will address them.
Performing: Team members complete tasks, produce outcomes and have an impact on the
intended audience. Members are positive and eager to contribute to the group and morale is high.
Progression through these different phases is contingent on effective communication. Teams
need to take the time to get to know each other on a more personal level before they begin to
address work issues. If they fail to do this, their commitment to the group will be lacking--and
members may say or do things that make effective teamwork difficult. They won’t make the
allowances or compromises required. Protecting their egos and furthering their own interests will
be more important than maintaining the relationships or bonds formed with the team.
61. 61
Sinking Boat Situation
On a dark summer night, seven persons cling to a swamped and slowly sinking boat on a black
tropical sea. They are not alone. A large shark glides below them and soon, perhaps there will be
more. With fear thick in their salt-swollen throats, the seven are faced with a difficult choice. If
they kick in unison, they may be able to fight the fierce current and tides driving them away from
the short and all make it to safety. If they stick together they have an equal chance to survive or
drown. If they split up, each going it alone, one or two of the stronger swimmers might make it
to safety but the majority will certainly drown or be devoured by sharks.
1. Which alternative would you choose if you were there?
2. Which alternative would you want your companions to choose?
3. What behaviors would suggest
a. A lack of trust
b. False harmony
c. Lack of commitment
d. Avoidance of accountability
e. Inattention to results?
62. 62
Section 10: Presentation Skills
Know yourself, your materials, your purpose and your audience
To do an effective presentation, you need to be a good story teller. Good stories have a
compelling introduction (create a need to listen), plausible supporting information and a coherent
conclusion. You need to identify what you want your audience to know, do or consider after
hearing what you have to say. In other words, you need to know the points you wish to make
because if you are not clear, your audience will almost certainly get lost.
Steps:
1. Design your Presentation
The most important part of the design phase is knowing who your audience is, who the story is
about (the main character that the audience cares about) and how they transitioned from an
unhappy beginning to a happy ending. In HBS 111 the story needs to be about how you selected
your major and career path—because this story will resonate with each student in the class.
While the story is about you it is really about them. How will they make this transition?
2. Arrange
The information that you share has to appeal to both the head and the heart and include action
steps. What information can you share that will resonate with your audiences head (salary
potential of career choice, reasonableness in terms of time in school, etc.) Heart? (Fulfilling a
dream or passion, following in the footsteps of a most beloved role model, etc.)? Action steps?
(Things that you have done to confirm your choices, to expand your network, to obtain
experience, etc.)
3. Deliver
Most presenters don’t consider many of the pointers shared in the video—such as varying the
speed with which you speak, your volume, the three step rule, etc. Make eye contact with one
person at a time rather than scanning the entire room. Modulation will increase audience
engagement.
Most experts agree that it is also important to establish ground rules before a presentation to
shape expectations and make it safe for participants to share their thoughts and ask questions. An
example of a ground rule is to explain the purpose of the presentation. Is it to debate, brainstorm
or discuss? If the purpose is to debate, then participants know they are trying to persuade. If it is
to brainstorm, then all ideas (no matter how crazy) are valid. If it is to discuss, then personal
opinions are welcome.
63. 63
Remember that your visual aids should be just that—aids that help your audience understand
your message, not help you with your presentation. Don’t over-do it with text-laden power point
slides. Use picture instead! And remember the one slide per minute rule.
People will remember:
10% of what they read
20% of what they hear
30% of what they see
50% of what they hear and see
70% of what they say
90% of what they say and do
64. 64
Section 11: Managing Stress
Not all stress is bad—some stress is good because it encourages us to act!
As a leader, you will need to master the art of managing yourself. This means understanding who
you are, what you are capable of, what your limitations are and how to manage those limitations.
Few will listen to or trust those who are overwhelmed or appear to be at the end of their rope.
While excessive stress can affect all aspects of our health, a little bit of stress helps keep us
motivated.
Stress is essentially a reaction to perceived dangers in our environment. In truly hazardous
situations, stress helps keep us safe as we are jolted with a surge of adrenaline. In other non-life
threatening situations, however, perceived threats can have negative consequences-both on our
relationships and our bodies.
Where does your body react to stress?
Negative effects of stress include headaches, migraines, ulcers, heart attacks, depression or
decreased immunity to disease. The good news is that the negative health effects can be
moderated by healthy stress management techniques.
Get to the heart of the problem. Many times we feel anxious about a situation and
avoid dealing with it. We stress about what someone will say or what repercussions may
come. Usually the best way to work through this stress is simply to identify the issue and
create a plan to resolve it. Not only will dealing with it help you alleviate stress, you will
gain confidence in your ability to address difficult situations.
Talk through it with someone. So often, the simple act of discussing our problems with
someone else helps us feel better about our own situation. It can also provide new
perspective on an issue. If you are starting to feel overwhelmed, find someone to talk to.
Try to relax. Listen to a relaxation tape or take several consecutive deep breaths.
Breathing helps clear your mind and relax your body. When in doubt, take a breath.
Relaxation Exercise: Close your eyes. Count very slowly to yourself from ten down to
zero, one number for each breath. With the first deep breath say 10, with the next breath 9
etc. If you start to feel dizzy slow down the counting. When you get to zero, see how you
are feeling. If you aren’t feeling better do it again.
![1
Peer Educator Resource Guide
Dr. Mary Soroko, CPA, CEP
[Type the document subtitle]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/c541580a-392a-4a24-be45-016713f0161b-160801170957/85/Peer-Mentoring-Booklet-2016-1-320.jpg)
