Dr Melanie McCarry University of Central Lancashire

1. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Coercive Control, Mobile Technologies and
Young People’s Intimate Relationships:
experiences from the mainstream
and the margins.
Dr. Melanie McCarry
mmccarry@uclan.ac.uk

2. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Aims of Pilot Project
This pilot project aims to explore the ways that mobile
technology is used in young people’s intimate relationships,
particularly in relation to controlling behaviours.
McCarry’s previous research on young people’s intimate
relationships indicated that ‘new technology’ played a key
role in regards to controlling behaviours in relationships
(particularly used by boys against girlfriends); our findings
strongly indicated that more research focusing on this is
needed.

3. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Sample
3
Youth Group
Alan (22) not in relationship
Omar (18) not in relationship
Michael (16) not in relationship
Steven (20) not in relationship
Ryan (16) not in relationship
Claire (20) in serious 5 year
relationship
cohabiting
Kara (16) in serious 3 month
relationship
Joanne (23) in serious 3 year
relationship
Service Users Group
Alix (18) interviewed 3 times.
Was in serious
relationship but split
with partner between
interviews 2 and 3.
Julie (22) interviewed twice.
‘sort of’ in
relationship with
long-term partner.
Laura (22) in serious 2 year
relationship with
Zoe.
Zoe (22) in serious 2 year
relationship with
Laura

4. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Tech
 The 12 participants have smart phones and got their first
mobile phone around age 11 years.
 They all also have access to tablets, laptops or desktop
computers.
 For the Youth Group many of their parents/carers contributed
to both buying their phones and paying the contracts whilst
for the Service Users the issues of affordability was more
prescient with all of them discussing the most economical
ways of getting full use of internet access in addition to phone
usage such as calls and texts.
 The most popular usage of phone was for texting and apps for
social media including facebook, twitter, snapchat, and
instagram, some mentioned games and one mentioned for
music.

5. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Youth Group Experiences
 5 young men – none of whom were in a relationship.
 Only Steven reported a previous relationship experience.
He also reported a high level of monitoring and
surveillance from his ex partner.
 3 young women – all of whom in a serious relationship
from 3 months to 5 years. Joanne had a previous
relationship which was very abusive and controlling.
 This small general population sample reflects previous
data (Barter et al, 2009) that one in three young women
and one in five young men experience abuse in their
relationships.

6. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Photos / Sexting
I’ve never ever in my life sent
a naked photo, not ever in
my life. I don’t agree with
that and there’s so many
stories that happen with
social media, with people
exposing themselves and
stuff like that. Kara
I don’t see the benefit of
having those sort of
pictures of people who,
even if I was attracted to
them, I probably
wouldn’t want to have
that on my phone. Alan
MM: Is it quite common to send naked or sexual
pictures?
Steven: Not for me but a lot of people do it, yes.

7. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Opinions of ‘Sexters’
I just think, probably a bit
judgemental in the fact that I
would say don’t sent it in the
first place, you know. There’s
obviously, they’ve made a
mistake sending that. It’s
terrible what’s happened but
I just, there’s always a bit,
you’ve always got to be
responsible for what you do
in life. … I sound quite
judgemental but I don’t
know, there’s no class to
those people. Alan
MM: What did you think of the
people that were sending
them?
Steven: I don’t know, I just
thought they need to get a
life.
MM: And what do you think
about people that share
them about?
Steven: It’s nothing to do with me.
If somebody wants to send
a picture and it gets
shared, then it’s nothing to
do with me. It’s their own
fault for doing it.

8. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Gender Differences - Social Media
I think girls, I’ve been in
situations, you know, if
you’re at a house party, often
girls are talking about what
other girls are doing on
Facebook, you know, what
other groups are doing. And
you might not be part of that
group and they’re speaking
about how they’re dressed. I
don’t think guys do that that
much, to be honest. I don’t
really have a conversation
with guys and say, did you
see that person on Facebook.
Alan
See when like if you’re at a party or
something, you always see like a lassie just
sitting on their phone for hours. And guys,
you don’t really see them on their phones
much. Well you do see them on their
phones but not as much as lassies. Steven
If you go on a night out and stuff, guys
tend to be the ones standing with a drink
in the corner, they don’t tend to be the
ones on their phones. Whereas you’ll see
girls, they’ll be on their phones constantly
even though they’re still with their group
of friends. Claire

9. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Phone Usage
All of the Youth Group sample are heavily reliant on their
phones although those that work and / or in education
have less time to use it.
MM: So do you text your friends all the time?
Claire: Yes, even if it’s not texting, if I’m like on
Twitter laughing at something or writing
something.
MM: Do you communicate through technology
more than you actually see your friends face
to face do you think?
Claire: Yes, I think it’s just due to work commitments
and other commitments and stuff.

10. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Phone Usage with Partner
 General agreement that phone
usage increased and response time
decreased with a partner. i.e. more
contact, more frequently.
 Except Joanne, none of them felt
particularly pressured to respond
immediately as all of them referred
to how busy they were – they were
all working / school / college and all
doing volunteer youth work.
 Understanding that their partner
knew they were busy and because of
how busy they were they felt that
other people may also be busy and
not able to respond immediately.
Kara: It depends what I’m
doing. If I’m volunteering
then I don’t have my phone
at all. But if I’m just in the
house doing nothing, then I
generally reply quite quick.
MM: And if you sent one to
your friend or your b/f,
would you expect a reply
straight away?
Kara: No because I
understand that people can
be busy. I don’t know what
people do in their everyday
life.

11. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Case Study: Joanne
4 year
old child
Current 3 year
relationship
Previous 4 year
relationship with
abusive partner/
father of child
Works full time
& volunteer
youth work
Lives in council
estate in outskirts
of Glasgow
Lived with nana, then
previous partner and
now just with her child

12. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Monitoring & Surveillance
 Started with boyfriend when in school. She ended it and
kicked out boyfriend when their child was 4 months old.
 Monitoring
 Monitored her through using the phone – constant calling and
constant texting (before smart phones – basic mobile phone).
 Surveillance
 Started scrutinising her Bebo page and deleted it. She reactivated it
but blocked him so he wouldn’t know. A friend told him it was active
and he deleted it again and this time she ‘just left it’.

13. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Isolation
 Social isolation
“I could go out without him but there was no point because my
phone would just keep going and keep going and keep going”.
 Because she stopped going out she stopped getting invited
“But like when people would text me and ask me to do something.
Then I’d text them back saying no, then that was it”.
 Total isolation – importance of friendship groups as
evident through impact of not having them
“MM: So basically, he isolated you from all your friends?
Joanne:Yes, isolated from the world.”

14. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Blame and Shame
MM: So did you not tell [friends] it
was him [bf that deleted bebo]?
Joanne:No.
MM: Why not?
Joanne:Because that’s just a pure
riddy like somebody’s deleted that for
you, not for you but …
Q: So you felt embarrassed about it?
Joanne:Yes, oh yes, I felt
embarrassed constantly. Like my
phone kept going constantly and all
that, it was a pure riddy, you couldn’t
just sit and, like the way me and you
are just sitting having a conversation.
I could never sit and have a
conversation because my phone
would just go buzz, buzz, buzz.
MM: when you were in
that situation, did you feel
like you had anybody you
could talk to about it?
Joanne:Not really because
all my pals were the same
age as me. And they were
like, they’re all quite daft.
So like, I don’t know, they
would have just
automatically have been,
“oh ha ha”. Not like ha ha
but like “you’re a pure
riddy imaging getting
controlled”, just kind of
turn it into, I don’t know,
bullying kind of thing. Not
bullying but …

15. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Service Users Group
Alix
Gender fluid
Gay/queer/dyke
In relationship with older woman {altho split up
during interviews)
5 previous abusive relationships
Julie
Female
Lesbian
‘kind of’ in long term relationship
previous abusive relationship
Laura
Female
“more lesbian than straight”
in long term relationship with Zoe
previous controlling relationships
Zoe
Female
“just me”
in long term relationship with Laura
previous abusive relationships
in serious relationships
relationship control and abuse
unstable work/college situation
living independently
survivors of abuse

16. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Contrast with Youth Group
 Service users much more reliant on their phones
 More anxious about how they use it – time to respond /
how to respond etc (except Laura)
 All had experiences of control / surveillance / monitoring
from partners
 Zoe had experiences of online / mobile grooming and
harassment and abuse from known and unknown men
 All had negative experiences with phone but all felt safer
with it.

17. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Case Study: Alix
Stalker Bitch
18 – Alix 17
Constant monitoring
& surveillanceSchool Ex
friend from school
Transitioning F-M
control, surveillance
& physical violence
Current relationship
“complicated but
happy”
13 years older
Psycho Bitch 1
19 – Alix 17
Constant
surveillance &
control
Psycho Bitch 2
21 – Alix 18
‘Stalkerish’
Posh Bitch
19 – Alix 16
Controlling / tried to change
her clothes / how she looked
– make her more ‘feminine’

18. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Control
School Ex
Texting constantly, “where are you,
what are you doing, who are you with”,
… It got to the point where I actually
did have to turn my phone off because if
I didn’t answer the text even for half an
hour, it would be a phone call and a
phone call and a phone call.
Psycho Bitch 1
That was the whole
wanting to be with me
24/7, I wasn’t allowed to go
out and see my mates. She
was texting me 24/7. I
was like, “oh my fucking
god, can I not do
anything?” … she had to be
with me 24/7 because the
rest of the time, like if I was
at college or something, as
soon as I finished college I
had to be with her. As soon
as I finished college, her
and her mate would come
and pick me up.
Psycho Bitch 2
If I didn’t answer my text it would be
WhatsApp. If I didn’t answer that it
would be Facebook Messenger. Like
Snap Chat, anything that she could get
in contact with me she would try. … I
wasn’t allowed to see my best mate who
I used to call my big sister at one point.

19. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Surveillance
School Ex
Facebook stalked
me when I was
working, like when
I was away at
training, stalked
me. Like
everything was
liked … And then
I’d get a question
about something
that I’ve posted or
somebody else has
posted and I’ve
been tagged in.
Stalker Bitch
Alix: Stalker Bitch literally, it comes with the
name, she completely and utterly stalked me.
MM: In what way?
Alix: Like she was on my FaceBook every five
seconds. She was checking my apps. Every
time my phone was down and I wasn’t near it
she was looking through it.
Psycho Bitch 2
Like she was constantly texting and trying to
call me every night. And I went, “but you’re in
work, why are you calling me when you’re in
work?”

20. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Control / Surveillance
Yes, well it was kind of like, she wouldn’t put it in that
way, like “who are you with, what are you doing?” It was
like, like “where abouts are you, what time are you going
to be home? Do you need picking up, do you want me to
take you there? Are you sure, I’ll take your pals home”
and all that. But now she wouldn’t do that but then she
did. But I think it was more that she wanted to know
who I was with and, you know, to see if she could trust
me. Julie
they would text or they would phone, or if I never
phoned them back they would be phoning constantly.
Laura

21. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Safety
“Another thing that’s scary as well is the location
thing, the GPS thing on your phones. Like Facebook
can find out exactly where you are and that. And if
people don’t know how to turn that off, you’re
putting a post up saying, “oh I had dinner here” it
can come up exactly where you are.” Laura
“because you might not speak to them, you know, but if
you put a wee status up or, you know, a wee check-in,
not all the time, you don’t want everybody knowing
where you are all the time, 24/7. But like especially
places I don’t know, like if I go away with my, me and
my ex went to a friend’s house or something, and we
went somewhere, I’d check in to say, I’m here. So if
anything, like nothing’s ever happened, touch wood,
but it’s better to be safe than sorry.” Julie

22. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Gender Differences
22
guys use their phone but I think
women, you find a lot more women on
their phone. Men too but like a lot of
women like gossip and stuff. They like
to know what’s happening. They’re on
their Facebook twenty four. You go
onto a guy’s Facebook and a girl’s
Facebook, and you see a difference.
You see, and they post something
every minute, the guys are every three
weeks or something I think. Julie
Yes, they’re using it for
different, say, I know
it’s quite stereotypical of
me saying this,
obviously men will be
more cars and porn and
stuff like that. But
women maybe, I don’t
know, like shopping and
friends and Facebook
and stuff like that,
football for the guys.
Laura

23. Connect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and HarmConnect Centre for International Research on Interpersonal Violence and Harm
Conclusion…?
 Protective factors – youth group involvement
 Gender differences in social media
 Boys less ‘vulnerable’ to control via tech
 Vulnerable young women and girls are more likely to be
controlled via tech
 Tech just an extension of control
 Need to develop strategies / ‘user awareness’ of how to
respond to coercive control when new tech involved