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Social Media - A Parenting Paradox Guide


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A take away guide to compliment talk on Social Media and the paradox it is creating for parents. Contains tips and advice on how to 'manage' a child's Social Media activity to mitigate the risk while allowing the child to achieve their fullest potential on Social Media.

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Social Media - A Parenting Paradox Guide

  1. 1. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 1 Social Media A Parenting Paradox Guide By Stephen Jio January 2016
  2. 2. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 2 What is Social Media? A virtual society unbound by geographical limitations; collectively connecting, sharing and engaging in a vast open community.
  3. 3. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 3 Facts on kids:  75% have smartphones  56% go on Social Media several times a day  24% are constantly online  71% use more than one Social Media channel  Kids are accessing the Internet on: o Game consoles, cable TV, handheld gaming systems, music players and more Sexting  50% of teens have let someone know they were interested in them romantically by friending them on Facebook or another social media site.  47% have expressed their attraction by liking, commenting or otherwise interacting with that person on social media.  31% sent them flirtatious messages.  10% have sent flirty or sexy pictures or videos of themselves.  7% have made a video for them.
  4. 4. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 4 Popular Social Media channels for kids that you may not be familiar with. Viber Type: Instant Messaging Enables: video and audio messages. Group enabled Tip: review contact list for any risk WhatsApp Type: Instant Messaging Enables: video and audio messages. Group enabled Tip: backup chat history to cloud (can be automated) Snapchat Type: Instant Messaging Enables: message or image to delete after set time (screenshots can still capture message) Tip: set ‘send me snaps’ to friends only Instagram Type: Image/Video sharing Tip: Geotagging of images is default off – check setting to ensure it is off YouTube Most are familiar with the video sharing site Tip: Set restricted mode on each device and browser to block inappropriate content Kik Type: Instant Messaging Enables: video and audio messages. Group enabled Tip: set video play to manual to prevent any inappropriate video to automatically play
  5. 5. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 5 Social Media channels not for kids. Whisper anonymous posting with meme image; can be sexually and dark Burn Note self-destructing messaging app; screenshots can retain messages Tinder location-based photo dating app; potential matches are local Yik Yak location-based posting; used a lot for bullying and sexual content Skout flirting app grouped by age; no age verification Omegle chat app that puts two strangers together; very sexually explicit
  6. 6. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 6 Acronyms  BMS - Broke my scale -- A way to say they like the way someone looks  FML – F*** my life -- more of an expression rather than a state of mind  AF - As f*** -- A teen might tweet "mad af" or "you seem chill af.“  ILYSM - I like you so much or I love you so much  CWD - Comment when done -- Similar to TBH (to be honest) , urging others to comment on their photo of whatever they're posting  TBR - To be rude -- While TBH often leads to positive responses, TBR is usually followed by a negative response  OOMF - One of my followers -- A secretive way to talk about one of their followers without saying their name, such as "OOMF was so hot today.“  Smash - I would have sex with you -- A girl might post a provocative picture and a boy might write "smash.“ Acronyms to be on the lookout for  HMU - Hit me up -- Usually asking for someone's Snapchat username, a phone number to text or for a direct message  RDH - Rate date hate -- As in "rate me, would you date me, do you hate me?" A typical response might be "rate 10 date yes hate no" or "10/y/n.“  Cook session/ Zerg - When one or several kids gang up on another kid on social media  ASL - age, sex, location -- someone would ask  GNOC - get naked on camera -- request  WYRN - what's your real name?  LMIRL - let's meet in real life -- also IRL (in real life) would be used in a similar manner  RU/18 - are you over 18? Acronyms when you’re busted  CD9 - Code 9 (meaning parents are around)  KPC - keep parents clueless  P911/P999 - parent alert  PAW - parents are watching  POS/MOS - parents over shoulder/mum over shoulder  PAL – parents are listening
  7. 7. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 7 Cyberbullying An escalation of baiting with technology which spawns receiver reaction and gains momentum through bystander engagement.
  8. 8. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 8 Bullying – facts  School bullying has been recorded as far back as the 18th century  First reported death from bullying was in 1862  4% Irish children reported being bullied online vs. 23% overall*  Irish kids ages 9-10 claim to be bullied the most*  68% of parents did not know that their child had been a victim of cyberbullying*
  9. 9. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 9 Cyberbullying - what you may not know  Content lives forever online, regardless of which app is used o As a result, it can be potentially used as evidence in criminal and civil cases  Photos posted of underage children (that’s 17 or younger!) violates privacy and in some cases considered Child Pornography o As a result, a Cyberbully and anyone who shares could be charged accordingly  Sharing or commenting on bullying post/images can also result in litigation o Being a bystander is not totally innocent  Potential employers and higher education institutions are now using Social Media as a reference to character and validation o Your kid’s action today could have a long lasting impact later in life
  10. 10. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 10 Bullied – Parent tips  Tell them that they must ignore the messages o Social Media news spreads lightning fast and it fizzles out just as quickly  Take on the responsibility to track and save detail (screenshots) o Your child faces enough stress without having to relive it  Talk to your child calmly and discuss with them the chain of events that led to it o Many times bullying is a reaction or response  Do not put blame on either your child, the bully or bystanders o Instead of casting blame, look towards creating a solution  If the bullying is being done with students from the same school then a review of the School’s bullying policy should be done by the parents and appropriate actions taken  In the event it doesn’t involve a schoolmate o Discuss the situation with the parents of the bully in a non-confrontational manner o It isn’t to place blame but to resolve in a manner that doesn’t compromise the kids involved o It is also to create awareness for the parents
  11. 11. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 11 Bully – Parent tips  Many are lacking in opportunities to release energy and be involved in team building o Get them involved in after-school activities – sports, music, hobbies  Research points out that Bullies do not get enough communication at home o Spend more quality time talking with them, find common ground  They need to understand the long-term impact Bullying can have on them o Explain the risks of posting and how that could impact them later in life Bystanders – Parents tips  Bystanders in Bullying are the ‘fuel in the fire’  Explain that bystanders are as responsible for Bullying as the Bully  Never comment or respond to any posts of Cyberbullying  Escalation ONLY happens when there is a willing audience  No audience, No bullying!
  12. 12. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 12 Tips on what parents can do to create a safe Social Media environment  Create no phone/tablet zones – dinner table, toilet and bedroom (in evening)  Charging station – centralised location where all laptops, tablets and phones go to charge in the evening  Evening chat time – dedicate a period of time each day where you have open chat, no phones – e.g. dinner time  Social Media areas – identify areas of the house (ideally open space) where kids can go online. This provides a safe environment and also allows you to monitor what they are doing along with their behaviour  Filtering and access options  WiFi router level control - You can control WiFi access by device, by time and Blacklist sites  Windows level Family Safety - What and when they can access along with Monitor activity and provide a regular report via email  Device-level parental control – IOS and Android  DNS level - OpenDNS provides access by device
  13. 13. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 13 Parental monitoring on Social Media Warning signs  Silence o Kids fear that if they discuss issues with Social Media they could lose their access  Anxiety & Depression o Behavioural pattern changes  Limited physical social life o Finds greater comfort online
  14. 14. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 14 Monitoring & Mentoring tips  Review their Social channels together o Provide guidance on how to set up and manage (i.e. profile picture, age, etc.)  Do not judge your kid’s friends or content on their Social Media channels o Unless of course the friend is someone who poses a risk (i.e. stranger, adult)  Review best practices for passwords and have your child provide to you o The rationale in the event of an emergency  Ask your child is they have any questions about Social Media o Be a trusted resource – studies have shown that kids defer to their parents and schools as the trusted authorities on Social Media risk.  Explain the risk of GPS and geotagging o Constant use of GPS allows smart users the ability to triangulate location  Address the risks of providing the receiver with address, phone number, age, school, etc. o Make it a ‘Hard-rule’ of the house and clearly define the consequences for violating  Engage in daily conversations about current events o Kids gain a better understanding about their world and the risks associated with them from you
  15. 15. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 15 Extreme Monitoring 2 tools that provide 24 hour monitoring uknowkids and mSpy  Remotely track and control activity on smartphones & computers  Track and record GPS activity  Read instant messages (e.g. WhatsApp, SnapChat, SMS, etc.)  Monitor web activity  Access email, calendar  View multimedia files
  16. 16. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 16 Parent No-No’s Top ten most-embarrassing things a parent can do online  Posting inappropriate photos of son/daughter  Posting inappropriate photos of themselves  Using online slang incorrectly  Posting inappropriate comments on their wall  Comment on son/daughter’s status  Chatting with son/daughter’s friends  Commenting on son/daughter friends’ photos  Commenting on son/daughter’s photos  Tagging son/daughter in posts  Liking posts on son/daughter’s wall
  17. 17. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 17 Social Media – A Parent’s Paradox Recap  Perception is not Reality o Get involved in what your child is doing on Social Media  Social Media channels o Be familiar with all of the Apps and be prepared to block Social channels that are not appropriate  Monitoring and Mentoring o Become the trusted resource for your kids on all things Social Media  Parents are Role Models to their kids o It’s not ‘Do as I say…’ Your Social activity is a blueprint for theirs  Social Media has the potential to provide a positive impact to your child’s life
  18. 18. [Date] Stephen Jio ©2016 18 Thank you! Stephen Jio - @stephenjatdell