OUR BACKWARDS JOURNEY HAS STARTED A WHILE AGO. I WOULD SUSPECT THAT IT HAS STARTED SOMEWHERE IN THE 80s WHEN MTV WAS INTRODUCED. IT TOOK A COUPLE OF DECADES FOR ONE OF THE TOP REPRESENTATIVE OF THE WHITE HOUSE TO SAY DURING LIVE BROADCAST THE WORDS WHICH NOBODY WOULD THINK THEY COULD HEAR ON BUSINESS CHANNEL - "ALTERNATIVE FACTS". THIS IS REMARKABLE WARNING SIGN THAT THE HUMAN RACE HAS REACHED A CERTAIN LEVEL OF THE REGRESS. IT MIGHT BE THE LAST POINT WHEN WE STILL CAN MAKE A U-TURN. IF WE MISS IT, THERE WE WILL CROSS THE POINT OF NO RETURN. IT WOULD BE FOLLOWED BY THE END OF OUR CIVILISATION.

2. K.J. / 2
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-trip-alternative-world-kakajan-haytlyyev
After a couple of decades of experience, I managed to
polish my analytical skills and there is still plenty of
room for me to improve. However, based on what I
learnt, made me come up with few fundamental rules
that guide me through the assessment process and
enable me to formulate a conclusion which would
explain certain events as objective as humanly
possible and identify few options of potential
developments that might take place in the future.
One of that rules which I must follow is to keep in mind
that whatever I would like to see has nothing to do with
what happens in reality. It took many years of practice
for me finally avoid bias element in my analysis. I
assume that my legal background helped me as it
allowed me to rely on laws of logic throughout the
process of assessment.
So far, the system I have developed worked without
major malfunctions. Little did I know that it would
completely fail to explain one modern phenomenon.
The system which worked well within a period of so
many years was redundant to provide me with any
logical explanation and understanding what exactly
makes some people admire Donald Trump? Some
theories suggested that Trump’s supporters do not

3. K.J. / 3
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-trip-alternative-world-kakajan-haytlyyev
want to accept facts because they are tired of
professional politicians.
Somehow such explanation does not convince me.
Because I think that when these people have problems
with pipes in the house, they call a plumber, not a
gynaecologist. Although knowing what we know about
Trump and his supporters today, I should not be so
sure.
I started to think that it might be one of these
mysterious events that science cannot explain. I was
almost ready to accept my defeat when help arrived
from an unexpected source.
I was watching “Meet the Press” with Kellyanne
Conway, Counsellor to the President Donald Trump.
Suddenly she said something which I did not
understand immediately. The reason I was confused is
because I would never imagine that someone could
say “alternative facts” during a show which has
nothing to do with comedy. I would never think that an
adult who consults the President of the United State
would say “alternative facts” without a slight
suggestion that it was a joke.
This interview left me with the impression that
nowadays it is acceptable to say such nonsense on

4. K.J. / 4
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-trip-alternative-world-kakajan-haytlyyev
TV. And although I am a quick learner but I must admit
that it took me a while to stop trying to apply the
system which is based on laws of logic to explain
something illogical. I realised that to understand the
event I must be on the same frequency with these
"nonsense-speaking people". (Perhaps it would be
appropriate to call them "alternative people".)
It was clear that the assessment is going to be
challenging because I must forget laws of logic and fall
into “alternative reality” for a search of the answer.
So, I designed “alternative teleport” to begin my
journey and explore the "alternative world". And to my
surprise, it kind of worked.
When I was already on my way, I realised that I forgot
to call my doctor to check whether I need to be
vaccinated. But I quickly dismissed this thought
because I understood that instead of vaccination I
might be admitted to a mental house.
Now, when I am back to the safety of the real world, I
would love to share with you what I have discovered in
this strange and weird world of “alternative reality”.
Apparently, "alternative world" does not have such
thing as “facts”. Therefore, the supporters or
"alternative people" do not pay any attention to any of

5. K.J. / 5
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-trip-alternative-world-kakajan-haytlyyev
those facts because they simply do not see it.
Perhaps, one of the reasons is that lobotomy in
"alternative reality" is just as common as circumcision
on our world.
I also discovered that there is only one main factor
which, has a huge influence on the way “alternative
people” see things. It is their language. The language
they speak sounds pretty much like normal language.
Real people would not be able to detect the difference
either grammatically, or phonetically. The name for
this language is Primitinglish.
There is no university in the real world that would
provide with Primitinglish classes. But in “alternative
reality” all “alternative people” converse with each
other in Primitinglish fluently and understand one
another clearly even before they finish the sentence. I
also suspect that sometimes they converse in a mute
mode because somehow, they see each other from the
distance without saying a word.
During my short trip, I managed to discover that
“alternative people” live in one country. Although a
territory of this country is small in comparison with the
land that is outside of the borders, “alternative
people” do not consider external territory habitable. I
cannot say with hundred percent assurance, but I am

6. K.J. / 6
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-trip-alternative-world-kakajan-haytlyyev
under impression that even if the species of their own
kind populates the outside territory, “alternative
people” are convinced that those are just half-people.
I also found out that “alternative reality” has its own
set of values which is a mirror reflection of the values
we have here, in the real world. For example, if we
consider shameful to be called a liar, “alternative
people” interpret it as a compliment, because in
Primitinglish it means an honest person. What we
understand by saying that a person bankrupted four
businesses, shall be translated as successful
businessmen, and so on.
Apparently, they also have a history. However, unlike
history in our world, “alternative people” have
relatively short active periods during which they
manage to cause enormous destruction. These active
periods are followed by periods of hibernation which
are much longer than active periods.
It was also interesting to know that transformation of
their language is quite drastic. It changes its name
from one active period to another. I learnt that the
previous active period happened about eighty years
ago. During that period, “alternative people” spoke
Primiteutsche. It sounds very different from
Primitinglish. But it seems that “alternative people”

7. K.J. / 7
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-trip-alternative-world-kakajan-haytlyyev
understand it perfectly. I think it might have something
to do with genetic memory.
Because of the nature of “alternative world”
intellectual people are openly shamed and good
manners considered as mean attitude. They use the
word “liberals” as something negative. If you speak
well and act politely, you might be in danger.
Unfortunately, I had to leave “alternative world”
quickly because “alternative people” started to
recover from lengthy hibernation to enter the active
period. Therefore, for me to avoid deportation or
imprisonment, I had to get back to my “alternative
teleport” and come back to our wonderful and
beautiful reality.
I must say that although what I witnessed is nothing
short of shocking, I have learnt one important lesson.
I should not have wasted my valuable time by trying to
understand “alternative people's” motivation by using
our logic. It is not possible because they see
everything as a mirror reflection. Every time we try to
teach them something they attack us because they
consider intellect as evil.
We also need to think how to wall up that hole in time
which is used by “alternative people” as a gateway to

8. K.J. / 8
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-trip-alternative-world-kakajan-haytlyyev
our world. We shall find a solution how to fix it and fast
because it appears that they can multiply quickly.
They have already managed to penetrate the top
echelon of our political world.
It is vital for us to urgently find a solution to close this
cross-over because “alternative people” started to
enter their active period. And because they begin to
feel comfortable in our world, they can destroy our
planet, just as they time to time destroy their own
world.