Marrying the woman of your dreams
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Christ should be included in all areas of life. This includes making Him the priority over romantic relationships and allowing His teachings to guide all interactions with women, treating them with utmost respect. By focusing on God first and following His principles of love and sacrifice, one can pursue a Godly relationship and marriage in a way that brings glory to Him.
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Marrying the woman of your dreams
- 2. MARRYING THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS Lessons Learned by Including Christ
- 3. I. Including Christ in My Life II. Including Christ in the Way I Think, Act III. Including Christ in Pursuing the Woman of My Dreams
- 4. I. Including Christ in My Life- He is Worthy Christ’s Claims About Himself • He was the only true Son of God (John 3:16) • He and the Father are One (John 10:30) • He gives a person eternal life (John 4:14) • He gives a person abundant life (John 10:10) • He is our eternal Judge (John 5:22-24) • He is the light of the world (John 8:12) • He is the only way to reach God (John 14:6)
- 5. • He gives peace in bad circumstances (John 1:33) • He is “the Truth” (John 14:6) • He has the power to forgive sins (Mark 2:1-12) • He is the resurrection and the life, all who believe in Him will rise again (John 11:25) • He is the Good Shepherd who lays His life down for His sheep (John 10:11)
- 6. Christ’s Terms Repent, for the Kingdom of God is near. - Jesus, Matthew 3:2
- 7. God demonstrates His own love to us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8
- 8. II. Including Christ in the Way I Think, Act -Even About, Toward the Opposite Sex Even more blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice. – Jesus, Luke 11:28
- 9. Treat the women as sisters, with absolute purity. - 1 Timothy 5:2 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality. –Ephesians 5:3 i.
- 10. Lesson: These are my sisters, God’s daughters, and should be respected. i.
- 11. Lesson: These are my sisters, God’s daughters, and should be respected. Lesson: God won't like it if I mess with His daughters i.
- 12. Renounce the ways of craftiness – 2 Corinthians 4:2 Lesson: This is not a game. ii.
- 13. Lesson: Choosing the woman I will marry is an important decision that will affect the rest of my life iii.
- 14. Proverbs 31 Lesson: Look for what God says to look for in a woman, not just that “she’s hot”, not just “how she makes you feel”. iv.
- 15. Lesson: To get a 10, you have to be a 10 v.
- 16. Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. - Proverbs 4:23 Lesson: I must guard my heart. vi.
- 17. Godliness with contentment is great gain. – 1 Timothy 6:6 Lesson: God is enough vii.
- 18. Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Don't get sidetracked. - Proverbs 4:25-27 We keep looking to the Lord our God, just as servants keep their eyes on their master, as a slave girl watches her mistress for the slightest signal. - Psalm 123:2 Lesson: Focus on God. viii.
- 19. He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? - Romans 8:32 Lesson: I can trust God to meet my needs. ix.
- 20. You are like a wild donkey sniffing the wind at mating time. Who can restrain her lust? Those who desire her don't need to search for she goes running to them! When will you stop panting after other gods? - Jeremiah 2:24-25 How you plot and scheme with your lovers. Even an experienced prostitute could learn from you. - Jeremiah 2:33 x.
- 21. They thanked me by committing adultery and lining up at brothels. They are well fed lusty stallions, each neighing for his neighbors wife. - Jeremiah 5:8 Lesson: I had cheated on God in my heart x.
- 22. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also . - Matthew 6:21 Lesson: I must let Christ be my treasure, and give Him my heart. xi.
- 23. Seek first his kingdom, and all His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. – Matthew 6:33 Lesson: My relationship with God is more important than my relationship with a girl. xii.
- 24. III. Including Christ in Pursuing the Woman of My Dreams • It Works
- 25. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus - Philippians 2:5 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. - Ephesians 5:25
- 26. She said yes.
- 27. She said yes. Game plan: • Honor God • Figure things out
- 28. Conclusion I. Include Christ in your life now, by turning from your sins, so that you can have eternal life. II. Include Christ in the way you treat the opposite sex by respecting them as brothers/sisters in Christ. III. Include Christ as you allow Him to lead you into whatever He has in store for a relationship with your dream – Always reserving first place for Jesus Christ.
Editor's Notes
- Welcome to the Rock! I'm glad you joined us. Here at The Rock, we believe the absolute best thing you could do for your life, is include Jesus Christ in every area of your life. Including your relationships with the opposite sex. I used to think: Jesus never had a girlfriend, so how could he help me get a hot one? I thought the only guys who would include God were the ones to weird to be able to get a girl anyway. I've learned differently since then. That Christ is Worthy of being included in every area of my life- including relationships. And that it works works. These are some of the things we are going to get into tonight. And with that, I'd like to include Him here. So if you'd bow your head, I will ask God to join us. Pray. Introduction. Title.
- Credentials- Not a pastor, or speaker, no bible college. Just a man whose life has been transformed by Jesus Christ. 5 yrs ago, when I first started coming to the Rock, and I first decided to include Jesus in my life, I told my roommate: if I was to take my decision seriously, of who I would marry, and choose the woman who would most help me change the world for Jesus, there's no question. It'd be Jess. After several years, and learning many lessons, which we’ll get into some tonight, I did marry her- the woman of my dreams. And I did include Jesus as I pursued her proving that it is possible to honor God, and marry the woman of your dreams. My story, and the lessons I learned that I'd like to share with you fit into 3 main categories. And they are the three main points I will be talking about tonight. I learned these lessons by:
- Jesus wants to be included in our lives, and He is worthy of being included.Take a quick look at some of Jesus Christ's claims about Himself. The only Son of God, He gives a person eternal life, He is the only way to reach God. Next slide.
- He is the resurrection and the life, all who believe in Him will rise again.Man! That’s who wants to be in a relationship with me! I should include Him! I mean, talk about power: He has power over death! Jesus literally rose from the dead and with Him, we can too! Once I realized I wanted to include Christ in my life, I then learned Christ’s terms. What I must do to include Him.
- If I was going to include Christ in my life, that meant I needed to repent.Repent means to turn from your sins, and turn to Christ. I didn't think I had done many sins. I thought I was a good person. Then I compared myself to God's standard. He says if I've looked at a woman with lust, then I've committed adultery with her in my heart. That meant all the times I had impure thoughts about a woman, or looked at pornography, I was committing adultery. I also realized that I had put women as the top priority of my life, instead of Christ. And that’s called idolatry. So, I quickly saw that the way I included women in my life made me an adulterer and an idolater in the eyes of God. And that's what I needed to repent of. That's what I needed to turn from. And that's why if I were die, I would have been found guilty, and had to pay the penalty for my sins: death.That's when I learned the good news: That
- What did I deserve because of my sin? Death. What did Jesus do? Die. He came to pay the debt I owed God because of my sin. It's like a legal transaction, where God could literally dismiss my case, because my fine had been paid. I learned that Jesus offered his payment for my sin, so that I didn't have to.As long as I came to Him on His terms. So, I decided to include Christ in my life, on September 4, 2007 over in the student center. I turned from my sin, and I put Him in charge. Making Him my boss. Giving me eternal life. Which means- when I stand before God on Judgment Day, I will not be found guilty of my idolatry or adultery. My debt has been paid. Has yours?After deciding to include Christ in my life in that way, I learned that I had to continually choose to include Him every day. This is done by reading the Bible for myself, talking to Jesus, and obeying what He says. This leads me to my next point.
- If I am to include Christ in the way I act towards women, according to what Jesus said in this verse, I must find out how the Bible says I should act. Then act that way.If I am to include Christ in the way I think about women, according to this verse, I must find out how the Bible says I should think about them. Then adopt that way of thinking.So I’d like to run through some things I found out that the Bible said, and how I included Christ by changing my thoughts and actions to match what God’s Word said- just like Jesus said I should in this verse. The verses I will be sharing are all specific ones that have impacted my life, personally. And there are plenty of them, meaning I don’t have the time to talk much about each one. So feel free to write some down and come back to them later. Let’s jump in.
- They are not meat, object, trophy like I had been treating them before. I must respect them. This is not just “don’t sleep with anyone you’re not married to”, but also includes not looking at women with lust. That’s tough. Because we all have a sex drive like a sumo wrestler. Why are sumo wrestlers so big, and powerful? They’re always being fed. It’s the same with our sex drive. Whether it’s the media, girls walking around, or whatever- our sex drive is constantly being fed. What we need to do, to have victory, to beat the sumo wrestler is to starve it. Don’t give your sumo wrestler sex drive anything it can “eat”, or gain strength from. I starved mine by training myself to bouncing my eyes. As soon as something would come into my line of vision that would be feeding my sumo wrestler, I bounce my eyes away. Instantly.This brings up one reason that Jess really stood out to me over the years. Not once did I have to worry about bouncing my eyes away because of what Jess was wearing. She was one of very few. The battle with all the women out in the world who didn’t care about including Jesus- that I expected. The sad part was when I had to bounce my eyes away because of what my spiritual sisters in the Rock were wearing. As one brother exclaimed “Come on! I'm tryin' not to sin here!”
- This is what I think of, when I think of God loving, and protecting His daughters.I wouldn't want God angry and coming after me. He's much stronger, and smarter than Liam Neeson.
- Don’t play with girls hearts. Stop just trying to seem funny, or godly to get noticed. This was so different from the way I was used to living, that I had to set up personal boundaries to help keep myself in check. Texting, FB. BCC Jake on emails, speakerphone, bring a brother to dormsYou might think that’s silly. That’s what I needed in my life to help me do what God wanted me to, like he was saying in this verse.
- Many men said-Mike
- It should be Character. Love God. Love people. Hard worker. Isn’t sitting around, waiting to get married. Is doing something for God now. These are things that made me notice Jess, and want her to be my wife.
- Why the heck would a woman of godly character want to be with a man of without godly character? Invest your time/energy into becoming one. Same for women.
- I must guard my heart , by protecting my thoughts, affections, and emotions. I need to make sure I am giving them to God, and not casually giving them to just some girl.
- Even if I never get married, God is enough for me. A relationship with Him is more fulfilling, and exciting than one with any girl could be. He created the universe!
- If an obedient dog's eyes are on his master, the master can be holding a big juicy steak, but the dog will not flinch, as he watches his master for the slightest signal. In the same way I should look straight ahead, and focus on my master, Jesus Christ.
- Inconsistency in my life- I've trusted God to save me from an eternity in hell, but I can't trust Him to give me a spouse.
- God called me out.
- God wanted a relationship with me, and I was running the other direction-away from him-towards women. I schemed, by trying to manipulate circumstances. I apologized to Him. Asked for His help. Strived to give Him my heart, and to put Him first.
- This became a continual prayer of mine: God- you are my treasure. I give you my heart.
- If I seek God, and His Kingdom- he will give me “all these things” as well. So, I determined from that point on, I would not seek a spouse. Ever. I would quit chasing girls. If God wanted it otherwise, he would have to make it so obvious, that it was as is if he had hit me over the head with a 2 by 4. I didn’t have time to waste on the dating game. I knew I could be fake, and fool a girl on a date. I knew a girl could too. Until God told me to marry a woman, I wouldn’t seek one out.So, for the next 4,5 years, I passionately invested my life into my relationship with God, including Him in my life. Into building His Kingdom, and not my own.You know, some would consider that too great of a risk. I mean, my whole focus in life used to be women. And it was certainly tough. Some laughed. Some scoffed. Some thought I was crazy, or gay.But I stand before you today, to tell you that I put God's promise to the test. I sought Him first, I gave Him my heart, and I focused all my time, energy, and passion on Him. And- yes it works. And yes it's worth it. Which leads me to my third point.
- I'd simply like to share with you my story, as proof that pursuing the woman of you’re dreams, God's way, works. I mentioned that I had noticed Jess’s character, 5 years ago. How does that happen if we never spent time alone together? We never texted, hung out, or facebooked. Well, we were both heavily involved in building God’s Kingdom with the Rock, and our church Candlewood. I got to see how she acted when the spotlight wasn’t on her (like it would be if we went on a date), because there were always 50 other rockers around. Like tonight.And while had told God that I would not pursue a woman until he essentially hit me over the head with a 2x4, He did that on Thanksgiving day, 2010. I was having some time alone with God, and I was overwhelmed, out of nowhere, as if it just hit me in the head: I want to marry Jess Whitney. I got scared.Began praying, every day. For 11 months. Asking God to help me. To take the feeling away. I was sure Jess would say no because she was out of my league. VersesTalked to people. Jess. Rick. Jess.
- I had been in relationships before I had included Christ in my life. But neither of us had any experience in a relationship as we were trying to do things God’s way.
- BoundariesGot married.But it has been such a blessing that my wife includes Christ in her life. I don’t have all the answers. She can look to God for help.Do life together, for God. Guys have left.Live out a picture of Christ.
- And I say all these things, because Jesus Christ is worth being included.And including Him works.