How do you expect to be treated? Are you treating others with the same amount of respect? A mashup between Quranic advice and concepts from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey and How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

1. Islam on Respecting Others
HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO BE TREATED?
ARE YOU TREATING OTHERS THE SAME?
AHMED MUZAMMIL @ASKMZEE

2. Listen More Than You Talk…
We have got two ears one one mouth

3. How do you expect to be treated?
Activity / Discussion:
 What do you expect when you enter into a training class?
 What do you expect when you enter a shop?
 How do you expect your spouse to treat you?
 What do you expect when you enter your home back from work?
 What do you expect when you enter your in-law’s house?
 How do you expect to be treated in a meeting?
 How did you expect when you were a senior at college?

4. Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:
"None of you truly believes
(in Allah and in His religion)
until he loves for his brother
what he loves for himself"
REPORTED BY ABU HAMZAH ANAS BIN MALIK, RADIYALLAHU 'ANHU, WHO WAS
THE SERVANT OF THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH, SALLALLAHU 'ALAYHI WASALLAM
[AL-BUKHARI & MUSLIM]

5. "O you who believe!
Keep your duty to Allah
and fear Him,
and speak always the
right word"
[SURAH AL-AHZAB (33) : AYAT 70]

6. "And tell My servants that they
should always say those words
that are the best.
Satan verily, sows a state of
conflict and disagreements
among them."
[SURAH AL-ISRA' (17) : AYAT 53]

7. “O’ you who have true faith! Do not let men make fun of other men
– perhaps they may be better than the other (group of men).
Also, do not let women make fun of other women, as it may be that
they are better than the other (group of) women.
Do not find faults in yourselves and do not defame one another by
using bad names.
How bad it is after having true faith that a person (does these acts)
but does not turn in repentance (to Allah) so then surely it is these
people who are the oppressors.”
[SURAH AL-HUJURATH' (49) : AYAT 11]

8. Self-Check - Are we an Ego-Maniac?
 Arrogance
 Sense of Superiority
 Selfishness / Self-Importance
 Showing pride
 Ego-Centric
 Self-Seeking

9. Occasion of Revelation of this Verse
 One day, Thabit ibn Qais who was weak of hearing entered into the Masjid and started to break
the lines of the people so that he could get closer to the Prophet (blessings of Allah be upon him
and his progeny).
 One of the Muslims prevented him from moving forward any further and made him sit behind
him.
 In order to get revenge on the person who stopped him from moving forward, when the Prophet
(blessings of Allah be upon him and his progeny) finished his talk, Thabit turned towards the man
and said, “Who are you?”
 The man replied to him, “I am the son of so and so.”
 In order to ridicule him, Thabit replied, “Behold! This is the son of so and so woman!” and he took
the name of this man’s mother, which during the time of ignorance (before the coming of Islam)
was a name that people mocked at.
 When this person heard the name of his mother, he became embarrassed and thus, lowered his
face.

10. Occasion of Revelation of this Verse
 Umme Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her), the chaste wife of the Prophet of Islam
(blessings of Allah be upon him and his progeny), had wrapped some white cloth around her
waist.
 A small piece of this cloth was hanging out at which time, `Ayesha binte Abu Bakr and
Hafsah binte `Umar said to one another, “Umme Salamah has a piece of fabric hanging out
which resembles the tongue of a dog when he is chasing himself!”
 Due to these incidents, this verse was revealed to the Prophet (blessings of Allah be upon
him and his progeny) as a reminder to the men and women that, “Men must not make fun
of one another nor must women make fun of other women.”

11. What do we want?
 Frankly speaking
 We want respect
 We seek for us to be understood
 We are self-centred
 We look for what’s in it for us in an engagement
 We look for financial gains out of a professional meeting
 We look for growth

12. Vocabulary Check
 What words do we use when we speak?
 How can we make it more respectful?
 How can we consciously make others feel good?

13. Vocabulary Check
 What words do we use when we speak?
 I, You, We
 How can we make it more respectful?
 Use We, By Default Respect Others
 How can we consciously make others feel good?
 Hear them out – Listen first

14. What Allah And His Messenger Wants Us
To Be
 Show respect to the character or repute of a Muslim.
 Prohibition of looking for faults in other people.
 The prohibition of using or attributing bad nicknames to others.

15. Maslow’s
Hierarchy of
Needs

16. “Everybody has an invisible
sign hanging from their neck
saying,
‘Make Me Feel Important’
Never forget this message!"
MARY KAY ASH

17. Be Proactive – Take Initiative
Think Win-Win
Seek First To Understand –
Then Be Understood
7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE

18. Appreciate others – be grateful and be
positive – ignore the negatives!
 You want recognition – so does everybody!
 We often take people for granted – we neglect them
 Showing positive emotions and happiness makes you feel
good – keeps your heart healthy!

19. Words of Appreciation
How does that affect you and others?
"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be
appreciated. “ - William James
 You make others feel positive about what they do.
 Tell your wife – thank you – She’ll love you for that.
 Tell your dad – thank you – He’ll feel accomplished
 Tell your mom – thank you – She’ll feel accomplished

20. The “thin line” between
appreciation and flattery
 Give honest and sincere appreciation
 Don’t exaggerate
 Don’t give a shallow thought
 Be specific about what they did good
 Watch your body language!

21. The power of appreciation
 True appreciation can make others feel good
 It improves their motivation
 It drives them towards success
 We have nothing to lose but everything to
gain when we appreciate

22. Action Steps - Activity
One by one pass your appreciation to
somebody now.
It can be someone here, or someone
somewhere.

23. Further Reading

24. Action Steps
Action Steps when you get back home:
 Tell your wife thank you for taking care of you and your kids
 Call you parents and say that you are grateful to them for bringing you up
 Call your friend and say thank you for some help he did sometime back
Action Steps for Monday:
 Next time you see the cleaner – thank him for keeping the place dirt free!
 Next time you see the office-maid – thank her for cleaning your desk!
 Tell your co-worker – thank you for being helpful / they did a good job
(for a genuine reason)

25. Jazakallah Khairan
 Thank you for patiently listening to my talk.