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You are here: Home » Life & Style » Health & Fitness » Fitness
10 tricks to become a loving, positive person
Anwesha Mittra,TNN | Apr 21, 2014, 12.00 AM IST
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It's one thing to wax eloquent on positivity, but quite another to be a positive person at heart.
Despite believing to have a positive outlook, we invariably weigh the cons first, consider several
times before sparing a compliment, and broadcast only the odds when someone counts on us for
advice. What's more, we prefer needless sarcasm for humour, manage a wry smile when
something is genuinely funny, and believe deep down that the glass is actually half empty.
We live in denial of our inherent negativity for the most part, and often wonder why the world
around is so mean and reckless. At work, we never fail telling our juniors how meeting deadlines
can be a tough proposition, and not to think too 'out of the box' to impress the boss. In short, we
never tire telling all concerned how tough things can be! Unlike dogs we may not be born eternal
optimists, but positivity is something that can be imbibed even if a tad forcibly; such as by trying
to tweak our sense of humour, the way we react to a given situation, by being more pleasant and
believing others too have a mind, and by smiling each time somebody says 'thank you'.
While positivity is a state of mind, the answer lies in our perspective. Clinical psychologist and
lifestyle advisor Dr S.K Sharma shares his ideas on how to be a positive person everyday.

Have the desire: First thing first, to become a positive person one must have a strong desire to
be positive. And the desire will come only if you are convinced that becoming a positive person
will enhance the quality of life. Positivity is like an aura, and you know you are a positive person
when people start trusting you, random people become polite with you, colleagues at work start
patronising you, and you start building rapport easily.
Be realistic: Do not try to become a saint. Becoming a positive person does not mean you can
never have any negative emotion or encounter any negative situation. It is the overall attitude
that matters. Don't get bogged down by failure, and disappointed when your expectations are not
met. Mentally, you should always be calculating a way out of difficult situations come what may.
Experiment: Be a keen observer. Use everyday life incidents to see how you can manage them
in a more positive manner. These will serve as perfect instances to turn your outlook more
positive. For starters, contemplate how you could have better handled a situation by being less
hostile and more indulgent. Come up with five ways that could have saved the day, and learn to
take things at face value sometimes. Remember, your ability to trust the other person also
reflects your genuineness.
Speech and body language: Try and make positive words a part of your daily lingo, and work
on your body language in way that you come across as friendly and approachable. Look amused
when something is amusing, laugh when something is funny, congratulate when someone's
bought something new, and give others a chance to narrate their side of the story. Never think
you are the only interesting, knowing one around.
Company: One way to becoming positive is to seek positive company as both positivity and
negativity are infectious. If the people you spend most of your time with are grumpy or have a
pessimistic standpoint, you'll find yourself mirroring the same emotions before a different set of
people inadvertently. In order to inculcate positivity it is imperative that your friend circle is a
positive, energetic, and a happy bunch. You'll find yourself carrying the same positivity
everywhere you go.
Activities: Do not remain idle and brood. Take up positive activities with others or in isolation.
Share a joke, narrate a pleasant incident, take part in sporting activities, go for a run in the
evening after work, have healthy sex, and you'll find yourself bubbling with positive energy.
Take it easy: Everyday life is bound to give you shocks. Be prepared to minimise impact and
shrug it off. For instance, you may get too hassled everyday while driving to work or trying to
park your car. When you accept the fact that certain things cannot be changed, you'll be more at
ease with yourself and those around too.
Learn yoga: Says yoga teacher and nutritionist, Abhilasha Kale, "Do pranayam everyday as it
lets you focus and meditate. Not only does it secrete happy hormones but also creates a sense of
awareness within you." With the help of yogic asanas you control your breathing, and by way of
it, control your mind from wandering. Every time you do yoga, you feel a surge of positive
energy through your body that calms your nerves, soothes your mind, elevates your mood, and
not to mention enhances your level of tolerance.

Maintain a diary: Instead of recounting all events of the day, filter out only the positive ones
and make a note of them. It could be anything trivial from your bus arriving on time, your mom
cooking a delicious breakfast, to remembering to pay the bills on time. When we look for
positivity in the little things that make our lives worthwhile, we leave no room for negativity.
"Try consciously practising this for 10 days, and at the end of day ten when you read your diary
back you'll only have memories of all the good things that happened to you," she asserts.
Say 'thank you': Thank god, thank your parents, friends, and thank yourself for all the hard
work you did, for everything you achieved. Says Abhilasha, "Saying thank you frequently makes
you humble, and a humble person is seldom cynical."
Try these methods, and you'll be surprised when others notice the change in you.
anwesha.mittra@indiatimes.co.in
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Writers' Comments (1)
Anwesha Mittra (New Delhi)
616 days ago
I am humbled to learn that my article could touch some lives. Inspires me to write more
and better. Thank you very much. :)
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Sort by:Newest|Oldest|Recommended (137)|Most Discussed|Agree|Disagree
ganshyamlondon ()
2 Followers
7 days ago
Silver: 2.1K
2
4
It is easy to REMAIN positive and loving for a guy. Just do not get married. A woman turns you into a complete
NEGATIVE moron in six months.Guys, if you are not married yet, thank your stars,and please please remain a
batchelor! That is paradise on earth! You can NEVER EVER get anything right with a woman - unless she is your
mother. Do something, and it is TOO this, and TOO that. But NEVER RIGHT. And after all those TOO judgements,
she packs her bags and takes you to court for 80% of your property. Men, by nature, need sex. Sex is not a disease.It
is just part of being a male. That is the reason why men marry - hoping to meet the biological needs.But once
women deliver the children they want (one or two), women do not allow the men to have sex! So men have to look
elsewhere. Then the women start screaming that the man is cheating. The man's cheating (or really meeting the
biological need) is entirely dependent on the wife! Women hardly ever accuse their husband of cheating in the first
five years of marriage. Because, during this time, women willingly participate in sex. And then no sex! Women do

not marry for the sake of a man. They marry for the sake of a baby (or two). So any sex after the baby is born does
not make any sense to women. Women stop all sex after getting the children they want. In the olden days,women
wanted 8-10 children, so a man had the hope for sex for about 20 years (albeit with long interruptions). But now,
once women have delivered two children, ALL sex is over in 4-5 years of marriage. The man may do anything, but
sirrah, no sex. Worse, once the children are born, women quite naturally start pushing the man out of their life. He
must pay the money of course.But on every other count,he is not wanted. That is the reality of today's marriages.
So, if any foolish young men still want to get married, ensure to get absolutely clear prenup agreement which covers
all the expectations of both partners,including sex. If this is not covered, heaven help the man
Agree (0)Disagree (0)Recommend (0)Offensive
Rohit Nair (Hell-Ville)
7 days ago
Silver: 387
2
3
if only changing your personality was so easy.. the world would have been a much better place. things like optimism
and positivity, sound very nice and urging but in the long run these are things which create a gap between what we
have and what we want. and it is this very gap that makes us depressed and makes us question ourexistence. i am 23
and in these years of mine i have learnt one thing that has helped me out all the time; be brave and take things as
they come, you'll not be alice in wonderland happy,but still you'll have that courage to laugh in your miseries..
laugh at yourself, learn from yourmistakes, observe and most importantly think. and stay away from self help books
they are nothing but BS..
ganshyamlondon ()
2 Followers
8 days ago
Silver: 2.1K

2
4
Relations are not built or broken for these flimsy reasons.True, they play their part. But relationships are established
when the woman decides she needs to get hold of a bakra and marry and have children. The bakra is in the picture
merely to help get the children. But he must have good money too. That is all there to it, folks! Men, by nature, need
sex. Sex is not a disease.It is just part of being a male. That is the reason why men marry - hoping to meet the
biological needs.But once women deliver the children they want (one or two), women do not allow the men to have
sex! So men have to look elsewhere. Then the women start screaming that the man is cheating.The man's cheating
(or really meeting the biological need) is entirely dependent on the wife! Women hardly ever accuse their husband
of cheating in the first five years of marriage. Because, during this time, women willingly participate in sex. And
then no sex! Women do not marry for the sake of a man. They marry for the sake of a baby (or two). So any sex
after the baby is born does not make any sense to women. Women stop all sex after getting the children they want.
In the olden days,women wanted 8-10 children, so a man had the hope for sex for about 20 years (albeit with long
interruptions). But now, once women have delivered two children, ALL sex is over in 4-5 years of marriage. The
man may do anything, but sirrah, no sex. Worse, once the children are born, women quite naturally start pushing the
man out of their life. He must pay the money of course.But on every othercount, he is not wanted. That is the
reality of today's marriages. So, if any foolish young men still want to get married, ensure to get absolutely clear
prenup agreement which covers all the expectations of both partners, including sex. If this is not covered, heaven
help the man
Parthiv Patel (Unknown)
46 Followers
8 days ago
Gold: 7.2K
4

4
4
It's Worth Reading..
Parthiv Patel (Unknown)
46 Followers
8 days ago
Gold: 7.2K
4
4
4
It's Worth Reading....

Dishaa ()
11 Followers
8 days ago
Silver: 856
2
2
Cool tricks to become a positive person !!
Gopan Mondal (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
1 Followers
8 days ago
Bronze: 35
Great article..!!! Gave me comfort when I found maximum of those I try to do.
Ashish Raj Srivastava (Unknown)
103 Followers
8 days ago

Gold: 9.7K
3
4
yes i do.. :)
rajesh maheshuni (India)
4 Followers
8 days ago
Silver: 386
2
2

Wonderful article which incredibly boosts an individual if he/she is melancholic and depressed with the happenings
in their daily life.. Thank You for providing with the tips to develop positivity which will certainly help onself to
excel in life.
Smruti Shetty (mumbai)
8 days ago
:
good article. Remain positive remain healthy .
kkp (kkp)
51 Followers
8 days ago
:
my aspiration meter filled after reading this :)
kkp (kkp)
51 Followers
8 days ago
:
their education is different... that is the reason we have the concepts heaven and hell.. most of the people do not like
to feel gratitude for the favors they receive from others ... the reason being the egoism inside and it is negative
energy flowing through them. if everybody is humble and discard egoism, there will be only heaven in our
dictionery
kkp (kkp)
51 Followers
8 days ago
:
truly an inspiring one for the one to really want to have a positive approach in their life and daily routine...thank for
sharing this...!!!!!!
Shilpi Gupta (Gurgaon)
31 Followers
9 days ago
Silver: 1.2K

2
really a nice post...i liked it...!!! truly an inspiring one for the one to really want to have a positive approach in their
life and daily routine...thank for sharing this...!!!!!!
Hemant (India) replies to Shilpi Gupta
18 Followers
8 days ago
Silver: 3.3K
2
4
Good one..
Saranathan Lakshminarasimhan (Chennai) replies to Hemant
145 Followers
8 days ago
Platinum: 19.3K

7
6
3
very useful inputs
gangadharsarma kottapalli (Vizag)
2 Followers
9 days ago
Silver: 566
helpul info..
Doujangul Misao (New Delhi)

285 Followers
9 days ago
Silver: 4.0K
3
4
3
Informative.BUT I KNOW THE BEST WAY IS TO BUY FOR HIM/HER A BEER.
Gopalakrishnan Navaneetham (Kolkata)
9 days ago
Silver: 562
2
2

2
I believe and very much like the Thank you.
Praveen Kumar (Noida)
73 Followers
9 days ago
Gold: 7.6K
3
3
4
Try and make positive words a part of yourdaily lingo, and work on yourbody language in way that you come
across as friendly and approachable. Look amused when something is amusing, laugh when something is funny,
congratulate when someone's bought something new, and give others a chance to narrate their side of the story .
Never think you are the only interesting, knowing one around.
Manish ()
155 Followers
9 days ago
Gold: 19.2K

3
2
5
very nice & helpful information indeed........
Cyboy (Pune)
15 Followers
9 days ago
Silver: 4.4K
2
4

I believe the first step is self realisation. You may think you are doing everything positive, but others may not share
that view.
Pranav Pant (India)
9 Followers
9 days ago
Silver: 2.9K
2
2
good tips
thomas cheenath (India)
95 Followers
9 days ago
Platinum: 26.1K
7

2
7
Anwesha Mittra , congratulations to you for sharing your positive energy with us.. give us more of your positive
thoughts so that you will be blessed with more ideas
bhavesh Jaglan (india)
37 Followers
9 days ago
Gold: 11.6K
2
4
great!!!

Varun Kumar (Chennai)
39 Followers
9 days ago
Silver: 4.4K
2
2
3
Awesome tips
Aaravinth K (Bangalore)
4 Followers
9 days ago
Silver: 362
2
3

one thing i am doing for past 6 years s i started saying thank you for everything and for everyone.
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