The speaker imagines turning off their phone to pretend they are sleeping alone so their partner thinks they are faithful while the speaker secretly spends time with someone else before returning home.

1. If I were a ____
I would turn off my _____
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d ____ myself first
And make the _____ as I go
Cause I _____ that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come ______ (to come home)