1. A common anxiety-producing situation in a shy
networker is when a third or more persons join the
conversation and it falls upon them to introduce
everyone.
Who do you introduce first? Do you use first and last
names? Are you required to provide collateral
information about each of the people that you
introduce?
Life is getting a lot more casual these days, at least in North America but I am sure that my
etiquette expert friends would agree that there is basic protocol that should be followed when
making introductions.
Shaking hands upon meeting: Shaking hands upon meeting someone for the first time has
become commonplace and is to be expected. Even if the other person is well known to you it is
quite acceptable to shake hands in greeting if you haven’t seen them for a while. Gender and age
used to determine who reached out first but that has gone by the wayside. If you are sitting when
introduced to someone for the first time it is appropriate to stand first unless you are in a
restaurant or another setting that would make it difficult to do so.
Introducing peers to each other: As they are on the same social level it really doesn’t matter
who you introduce first. Use both their first and last names when introducing them unless you
don’t know the last name. “John Smith this is Jane Walker. Jane works in our marketing
division. And if I’m not mistaken John you used to work in marketing didn’t you?” Pronounce
the names clearly so that it is easily understood and if you can provide a little collateral
information about each of them do so. If you are aware of some common areas that the two
individuals share it can be a great way to seed a conversation i.e. get it going.
Introducing a Superior to a Subordinate: I have some personal difficulties with the term
superior if it means that they are better than me, my personal baggage. On the other hand, if it
refers to the fact that they are higher up on the organizational chart than I am or perhaps more
prominent in government, I can accept that. Rule of thumb is that you say the name of the
superior first. “Mr. Smith I would like you to meet James Jones. He works in our Refreshments
Division.” The same idea applies where you would supply some additional information to seed a
future conversation or to help create a point of reference to the one that is receiving the
introduction.
Introducing a customer to people in your business: The old adage of “the customer always
comes first” holds true in this situation. It is a good way to respect your customer. As in other
introductions it is helpful to provide some collateral information about the customer or even your
business member that you are introducing. It can also be a good time to do a quick testimonial
about some aspect of your business dealings with your customer.
Introducing Women: The old way of doing so was to introduce a man to a woman. “Mary I
would like you to meet John.” You won’t create an international incident if you were to do so but

2. nowadays the trend seems to be to use rank as your rule. If you don’t know who holds the so-
called superiority, I would revert back to the old rule of man to woman. If anybody questions
you, you could always say that you didn’t get the memo about the changes.
Introducing Older People: The old rule was to introduce the younger person to the older one,
saying the name of the older person first. Now it is not so important.
Rae Stonehouse is the author of Power Networking For Shy People: Tips & Techniques to
Move from Shy to Sly! Join our discussion on Facebook & LinkedIn. Just search for Power
Networking for Shy People. Download as an e-book.
Copyright 2014 Rae Stonehouse, Live For Excellence Productions. The above document may be
freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.
Top photo credit Jodi Womack via Flickr CC.