The document is a commentary criticizing college commencement ceremonies for being pointless and overly complicated. It details the costs and steps involved in graduating, from tuition to applying to graduate. It argues commencement is not worth the time and money spent on caps and gowns when one can simply celebrate graduating with friends and family instead of sitting through a long ceremony. The author believes walking across the stage is an outdated tradition and graduating should simply involve receiving a diploma in the mail.