Getting to Know You: Exploring Cultural Identity

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“Nothing important comes with instructions.” –James Richardsonk
Materials prepared by Kelsey Grab, Ed.M. ‘18

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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Lesson Elements Key 3
Notes to Instructor 4
Lesson Understanding Goals 5
Facilitation Notes and Set Up 6
Lesson 1, Identity, Culture and Community, Notes 7-8
Lesson 1 Part 1: Icebreaker 9-12
Lesson 1 Part 2: Establishing Safe Spaces and
Expectations
13
Lesson 1, Part 3: What is Culture? 14-19
Lesson 1, Part 4: How do I perceive American
culture? How does American culture perceive me?
20-24
Lesson 1, Part 5: What do I bring with me from
home? What are my expectations of American
culture?
25-29
Lesson 2, Small Talk and Communication, Notes 30-31
Lesson 2, Part 1: Differences in Communication
Styles
32-41
Lesson 2, Part 2: What is small talk? Why do
Americans use small talk?
42-45
Lesson 2, Part 3: Models and suggestions for small
talk
46-55
Supplemental Materials 56-60
Suggestions for Further Reading 61

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LESSON ELEMENTS KEY
Text in this box is to guide the facilitator with tips or context for the
programming
Text in orange boxes is what should be said by the facilitator.
Pair and share
Students pair up and discuss together
Group Share
Facilitator asks for students to give feedback as a group
Journal
Students quietly write in their personal reflection journals
Classroom set up
Students change groups
1
YouTube clip
Handout
Facilitator should write responses from group share on a sheet to be
posted on the wall
Students should write responses together to share and post on the wall
1 The “television” and “notebook” clip art were created by Joshua Grab, JGrabDSN@gmail.com

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NOTES TO INSTRUCTOR
Leading these discussions requires tact, patience and humility. To be successful in facilitating these
conversations the leader must be respectful of the needs of the group, while also being willing to challenge
them and discuss potentially offensivetopics. To best navigate these conversations, the facilitator must have
a deep understanding and respect of cultural differences. This requires a decent amount of study. The
resources below are referenced within this prototype and should at least be partially read before beginning
this work.
RESOURCES FOR REVIEW BEFORE BEGINNING
What’s Up with Culture
U Washington, Cultural Competency Tool Kit
Culture Matters, Peace Corps Guide Book
In addition, many resources for this project were provided by or adapted from training sessions at the Derek
Bok Center for Teaching and Learning at Harvard University.

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LESSON UNDERSTANDING GOALS
LESSON 1
o Students will understand they are part of a community of international students
at HGSE.
o Students will understand there are challenges in acclimating to HGSE.
o Students will identify some of the ways culture impacts communication.
o Students will understand some basic definitions of culture and cultural identity.
o Students will understand some defining characteristics of their own cultural
identity.
o Students will understand they hold stereotypes of American culture.
o Students will understand they hold stereotypes of their own culture.
o Students will understand they hold stereotypes of other cultures.
o Students will understand they may face challenges with cultural difference while
at HGSE.
LESSON 2
o Students will understand there is no “correct” way to communicate in America.
o Students will understand a variety of different cultural communication styles.
o Students will identify some of the communication characteristics of their
culture.
o Students will identify some of the communication characteristics of American
culture.
o Students will identify some of the communication challenges they will face
within an American culture.
o Students will understand what small talk is.
o Students will understand some aspects of their cultural orientation.
o Students will understand some aspects of American cultural orientation.
o Students will identify some ways their cultural orientation may clash with
American cultural orientation.
o Students will understand a model of small talk.
o Students will understand some of the ways to use small talk while at HGSE.

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FACILITATION NOTES AND SET UP
1.These seminars are designedfor approximately 50 students to be done during their orientation at
the beginning of fall semester.
2.Since for many students English may be a second language, it is imperative information the
presenter shares and questions they ask are visible on a slide show presentation during the
programming. This will allow the facilitator to maximize understanding and engage the students more
fully, without drawing unwanted attention to potential communication confusions.
The presenter should however, be sure to clarify information for students if there is confusion.
3. Time expectations are offered as a guide for the instructor to keep conversations moving and
the programming on schedule, but should be viewed as a guide solely for the instructor unless
otherwise stated.
4. When students are in paired groups to share, or even more importantly, when they are sharing personal
responses for the entire group, they should not be warned of time limits. This may impede their
ability to share information fully and not make the space feel safe and centered on their needs.
5. In addition, because of the nature of this work and the importance of having students’ feedback written
and shared with the group, it may make sense to have this workshop run by two skilled facilitators.
This prototype is designed with one facilitator in mind, but can easily be accommodated for two
facilitators.
One facilitator can stay at the front of the room for notetaking and preparing slides, while the other can
be more engaged with leading the discussion. This model also makes it possible for two facilitators to
answer potential questions or help with any concerns students may have with the material, especiallyif it
becomes sensitive.
6. Instruction should be given verbally and visually as much as possible to assist in understanding.
FOR ALL PROGRAMMING
CLASSROOM NEEDS STUDENTS NEED
 White board
 Projector
 Sticky paper board and markers
 Screen
 Post it notes
 Copies of supplemental materials
 Pens and Markers
 Pen/Pencil
 Notebook/Journal
 Copy of completed “Reflecting on your
year pre-campus” sheet
 Name tag with their full name, program
and flag of their home country visible

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LESSON 1: IDENTITY, CULTURE AND COMMUNITY:
ESTABLISHING DEFINITIONS AND ASKING QUESTIONS
Generative
Questions
 What do I think is American cultural identity?
 What is my cultural identity?
 How will my cultural identity be perceived here at
HGSE?
 Who am I as an internationalHGSE student?
Understanding
Goals
o Students will understand they are part of a
community ofinternationalstudents at HGSE.
o Students will understand there are challenges in
acclimating to HGSE.
o Students will identify some of the ways culture
impacts communication.
o Students will understand some basic definitions of
culture and cultural identity.
o Students will understand some defining
characteristics of their own cultural identity.
o Students will understand they hold stereotypes of
American culture.
their own culture.
othercultures.
o Students will understand they may face challenges
with cultural difference while at HGSE.
This first lesson is expected to follow other pieces of orientation and assumes students have had some interaction with one
another. However, this may be one of the first times students will be asked to share personal reflections and questions with
one another and therefore will require a bit of ice breaking and establishment of expectations to create safe space.

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PREPARATION
Ideally, the classroom should be set up with round tables for students to speak with one another
at, preferably with six students to a table so students are seated facing a projector for viewing
clips throughout the session, but also in a semi circle so students will be able to look at one
another as they speak.
The facilitator should pull up the YouTube clips in order so easily accessible for viewing.
The order is:
Mean Girls, 1:20-2:24 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRZ172XMLCQ
HBSC “Wrong Flowers”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jrbu0lCWjk&list=PLAA214B8BE9016835&index=3
HSBC “Eels”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_WAmt3cMdk

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PART 1.ICE BREAKER
20 minutes
Students will enter the room and be asked to sit with someone they have not met yet. They
should be seated at tables with an even number of chairs, preferably 6. On their table will be post
it notes and markers.
This ice breaker can make students uncomfortable but is a good way to begin a conversation about
cultural difference. Students will be forced to spend time looking at one another, which in some cultures
can be considered rude or unacceptable. Be thoughtful about the discomfort students will face in this
action and remind them this is just an ice breaker. This is important as it will allow students to build
community and fully engage with the challenge of experiencing something new in this safe setting. In
addition, eye contact is an important part of communicating in American culture.
The instructor should tell students to begin the workshop we will do an ice breaker together. The
students will be asked to pair up and draw one another on a post it note. Ideally they will pair up
with someone they DO NOT KNOW.
Understanding
Goals
o Students will understand there are challenges in
acclimating to HGSE.

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Students may feel pressure to “get it right,” but in reality, there will probably be few artists in the room.
Remind them that they should be creative and their partner won’t be offended if they struggle with
depicting them “well.”
This ice breaker may challenge them but they should do their best to have fun with it.
Students will only have three minutes for this exercise and the first will be silent. This is not a test of
artistic ability, this is about being creative and getting to know one another.
To begin, the students will need to silently look at one another for one minute. The instructor will
keep a clock to let students know when the first minute is up. Students should look at their partner; observe
what makes them unique and what features they will need to draw.
Following these minute of silence, the students will have two minutes to draw and ask questions or request
their subject to move in any certain direction.
Students should give their portrait to their partner and formally introduce themselves. The facilitator
should ask students to ask one another where they are from, what brought them to HGSE, if they
have been to the US before and what program they are in.
The facilitator should walk around the room during this time. They should have no more than two minutes
for quick introductions, followed by questions for the group.
How was that? Were you uncomfortable during this exercise? What made you uncomfortable?

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The facilitator will ask students to ponder these questions in their small groups for a minute and
then ask for responses to be shared.
The facilitator should take a few (3-5) comments and have them written on a sticky
page presentation paper for students to see. This will allow information to be
documented and students will be able to go back to the responses they gave at the beginning
to see how they have changed their minds or have a different understanding of their
problems as time goes on.
It may be worth mentioning to the students that in conversations with Americans eye contact is essential.
Students may have quesitons about this. If so, the facilitator should pause and discuss the issue futher.
After discussion about the discomfort students felt in this, the facilitator should ask:
Why might you be asked to do such an activity on your first day in a new country?

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Following these responses the facilitator can lead students recognize the discomfort they may feel in
new relationships here. In addition, today we will be discussing challenging material, and it’s important
for us to be comfortable with one another to start!
Students should pair and share within their groups for two minutes about this.
The facilitator should walk around and talk with students about their ideas.
Students should then come back together and share 3-5 responses.
These responses should be written for all to see and refer back to later during the
workshop.

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PART 2. ESTABLISHING SAFE SPACES AND EXPECTATIONS
10-15 minutes
Students should all be sitting at their tables in the same seats as when they did their ice breaker.
It is imperative students establish protocols and expectations for themselves and the group while discussing
potentially challenging topics such as culture. As a facilitator it is your job to help guide students to create
expectations for each other to adhere to during potentially personal conversations. You should refer back
to these as a guide throughout the sessions.
To lead this conversation, the facilitator should remind the students of the sensitivityof the material shared
during this session and ask that the group establish some expectations for themselves. Students should be
prompted:
What kind of space do you need to be most comfortable discussing topics that challenge you?
This is not a pair and share exercise and instead an opportunity for students to share their
ideas with the entire group. If the group is quiet, the facilitator may choose to have students pair and
share their ideas and then come together to share
.
While the group responds, the facilitator should write a list of these expectations on a sheet of
sticky paper for all to see. This should be done for 5-10 minutes. These expectations should
be available for use at all future conversations. Students should be told their expectations
will be available for all to see throughout the day and they can refer back to them with the
facilitator and one another.
Some ideas for norms are: respect one another’s ideas, be fully present, pay attentionwhen someone is speaking
Before continuing on, the facilitator should be sure students are comfortable with the expectations
they have set out for themselves.
Understanding
Goals

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PART 3. WHAT IS CULTURE?
25mins
The goal of this mini lesson is to give students the opportunity to discuss things that confuse or challenge
them in American culture, as well as bring some stereotypes or misconceptions to the forefront.
The conversation should be free flowing, and may offer some insight into the future topics
of discussion for the “save for later” board, but should also end in a conclusion that
American culture is complex, varied and hard to define. This is important, as the students
should recognize the same of themselves and one another.
Students should move into new tables with people from a variety of different cultures. There
will be opportunities later to work with students from their home culture. They should try to
partner with someone they do not know well.
The facilitator should tell students to begin these conversations about cultural difference, students
will engage in a short game where they will ask yes or no questions of a partner to learn about
what they did yesterday. They can only ask yes or no questions. Students will have three minutes to
figure out what the other student did yesterday.
To respond to the questions the other student should reply with a yes by shaking their head left and
right (as if saying “no” in American culture) and reply no by nodding their head up and down (as
if they are saying “yes” in American culture).
Students will be asked to choose one student to begin asking questions of the other. The
facilitator should remind students the responder cannot speak and can only answer yes or
no questions by shaking their head “yes” or nodding “no”.
Understanding
Goals
o Students will identify some of the ways culture
impacts communication.
o Students will understand some basic definitions of
culture and cultural identity.
o Students will understand some defining
characteristics of their own cultural identity.

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These directions should be visibly displayed on a projector in case students are confused.
The students should do this for three minutes or so. The facilitator should walk around the room during this
time but leave students alone to struggle with their responses.
Students will probably feel challenged with having to nod and shake their heads in a possibly counter-
intuitive way. In addition, students who are asking questions should have trouble understanding what the
other student is saying because the responses students give may be counter to how they expect.
After three minutes or so, students should then be asked to switch partners.
Students should then be given three minutes to change roles in the conversation. After three
minutes are up the group should come back to discuss. The facilitator should prompt them:
What did your partner do yesterday?
Here the facilitator is looking to point out the challenges of communicating within the confines of the
directions. This is supposed to mirror how culture can impact communication.

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The facilitator should take a few responses to this question and then move into asking students
Here, the facilitator is looking for students to identify how different cultures may feel this kind of struggle
when they attempt to work with one another.
The students should be prompted with the following questions:
How did it feel to ask only yes or no questions?
Were you frustrated when your partner could not fully respond?
What might this be similar to?
The faciliator should take a few responses to these questions, cognizant that it is important to solicit
responses from all students, including those who may not immediately respond.

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After a couple minutes of responding, the facilitator should then ask about responding with the
following questions:
When responding, did you find it difficult to communicate with your partner?
Was it hard to think about nodding and shaking your head?
Did you find yourself wanting to speak up or help guide your partner?
Students should be given a couple minutes to respond to these questions.
The facilitator should explain this exercise is to help us dive deeper into thinking about how
cultural differences can make simple conversations or situations challenging and uncomfortable.
Cultural difference may make it hard to communicate and accidentally create tensions that are not
intentional.
Before moving on, this is a good time for students to pause and reflect in their personal
journals about their thoughts on communication and culture. The facilitator should give
students five minutes to write privately about their thoughts. Students can be asked if their
thoughts on communication and culture have changed after this exercise. They
should be prompted to consider ways they might experience this here at HGSE and
how they might deal with these challenges.
Following their personal reflections students can be prompted to share any thoughts they would
like to. The facilitator should be prepared for students to wish to keep their thoughts to
themselves and prepared to move into the next section.

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Students should be told to consider this experience as they think about culture. Before we begin discussing
cultural difference, together we should identify some definitions for what culture is.
Students should be prompted to think about what defines culture and where this is present in their
lives. This will help them to consider pieces of culture that may not be immediately visible, such as religious
practice, conceptions of time, hierarchy in conversations ect.
Students should write a definition of culture and some examples of its application in
their own homes in their personal notebooks. They will be given 5 minutes.
Thinking about applications helps students to consider the complexity of culture. Definitions are broad
ideas of what culture is, while an example of an application of culture is food, clothing, music ect. These
should be distinguished as culture can be defined to label any society’sway of being, but the differencesare felt in the way culture
is acted out.
After discussing this in their groups, they should share their definitions.
The facilitator should be writing the definitions and applications of culture on sheets for
students to see.

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Some possible definitions to share with students on a slide are:
Culture consists in patterned ways of thinking, feeling and reacting. The essential core of culture consists of traditional ideas
and especially their attached values. —Clyde Kluckhohn (Peace Corps Manual)
Culture is the systems of knowledge shared by a relatively large group of people.
The patterns of behaviors and interactions, cognitive constructs, and affective understanding that are learned through a process
of socialization. These shared patterns identify the members of a culture group while also distinguishing those of another
group. (Center for Advanced Research on Language Acquisition at University of Minnesota)
This will set up the next portion of the workshop where students will discuss their perceptions of American
culture.

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PART 4. HOW DO I PERCEIVE AMERICAN CULTURE? HOW
DOES AMERICAN CULTURE PERCEIVE ME?
75mins
This discussion will focus on acknowledging misconceptions and beginning to identify aspects of American
culture that are potentially confusing or challenging for students.
Students should change tables to meet other people. Before showing the clip, the facilitator
should ask students to change tables and sit with other students. If students are hesitant the
facilitator should remind them an important goal of these activities is to build community and
create space to meet new people.
This change of tables should take no more than three minutes.
To begin this piece, students should see this clip from Mean Girls, 1:20-2:24
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRZ172XMLCQ
“If you’re African why are you white?”
The facilitator should tell students this clip is from the 2004 American movie, Mean Girls, a movie
about American high school.
Following this clip is an opportunity to discuss some aspects of American culture and
American misconceptions of other cultures. The facilitator should ask the group to
partner up and discuss their immediate reactions and interpretations of this clip.
Understanding
Goals
American culture.
their own culture.
othercultures.
Materials Needed Students will need a piece of large sticky paperin their
groups

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The following questions should be available on a slide and verbally asked of the students by the facilitator:
“If this is your first time in the U.S. you may have only seen American through movies and
television. Does this clip align with some of your expectations of American culture? How does it
differ? If you have been in the U.S. before, can you describe how that adjustment has felt for you?
How has America been different since you’ve been here?”
Students will have 10 minutes to discuss these questions.
Following this discussion, students should be asked to share some of their observations.
These should again be written for all students to see on pages of sticky paper, with careful
attention paid to some of the issues students are identifying as struggles they are
experiencing. Students should be reminded that future discussions can be held to
better discuss these topics, as there will not be enough time to cover everything today.
In addition, resources are availableon campus which will be compiled for a separate resource
sheet to be distributed at the end of the workshop.
This should take no more than 10 minutes.

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Following this, students should then watch the following clips:
HBSC “Wrong Flowers”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jrbu0lCWjk&list=PLAA214B8BE9016835&index=3
HSBC “Eels”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_WAmt3cMdk
Following these clips, students will again be asked to regroup and discuss what they see in these clips. The
facilitator should prompt students by stating,
“These clips are made by an international bank for advertising in the U.S. How do you think they
enforce stereotypes? What kind of stereotypes do they enforce?”
Students will discuss these questions for five minutes in pairs
Following these conversations, students will share their responses. Here the facilitator should
be thoughtful about encouraging students to share their experiences with cultural difference.
These should again be written down for all to see.
The report back of this should take 5-10 minutes.

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Care should be taken BEFORE the workshop to identify possible student groups to best support students
who do not fit into clear categories/don’t have a large group from their home. Possiblegroups that form may be
Indian students, Chinese Students, Asianstudents, SE Asian students, Eastern/Western European, African ect.
The facilitator should then ask students to discuss among their groups, "How do you think
Americans perceive people from your home country? If you have lived in the U.S. before can you
share experiencesof how you felt their culture was perceived within U.S. culture?
After this, students should be asked to reflect privately about how they believe their culture is
perceived in the U.S. These should be written in a reflection notebook where they also have
their pre-campus surveys. The facilitator can prompt students to think in a metacognitive way
by prompting students to consider how their thinking about this question may have changed
since arriving in the U.S.
Students will be given 5 minutes to privately reflect.
Following this private reflection, the facilitator should ask if any students to move into groups
based on their home region.
This change of tables should take no more than three minutes.
If students are struggling with this question, the facilitator can also prompt groups withquestionssuch as, “What do you think
Americans know about your culture? How has your culture been perceived historically? In films, television or music?”
Students will be given ten minutes to discuss this as a group.

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Students should be given a piece of large sticky paper in their individual groups. On this paper
they will record their responses as a group to share later.
The facilitator should walk around and be sure any student who isn’t sure where to go has a group to join,
and if someone is alone, possibly engage with them in why they feel disconnected.
If students seem tired or if they are struggling to focus, this may be a good point to have them take a break before coming back
for presentations.
The students will then share their responses with the group. It is important each group be
given the time to present their concernsand misconceptions. This piece of the program
should take 15-20 minutes depending on the number of student groups.
After each group presents, students should be able to hang their misconception sheets on the walls
for all to see.

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PART 5. WHAT DO I BRING WITH ME FROM HOME?
WHAT ARE MY EXPECTATIONS OF AMERICAN CULTURE?
50mins
This piece of the workshop relies heavily on students’ personal reflection. This may be uncomfortable or
difficult for some students.
Students should stay in their cultural groups from the last activity.
To ease this potential discomfort, students should be told before the lesson begins that they will be asked to think with their eyes
closed for about 10 minutes. Following this they will be given time to reflect and share their ideas with their
peers, but for the sake of themselves and identifying their needs, it is important they take some time to
reflect on their personal experiences.
Students will be asked to transport themselves BACK to before they got to campus. While closing
their eyes they should reflect on the feelings they had when they were accepted to HGSE.
After a few moments, they should be asked to think about what it was like to tell others about their
acceptances. How did people react? What did they say? How did you feel?
Students should be seated with their eyes closed to consider these questions for a couple minutes.
They should be told they will be able to refer to the questions on a slide after this brief reflection
time.
Following these questions they should be guided to think about what it was like getting here, how was the
trip to the airport? How was saying goodbye? How was the plane ride here? What did it feel like to
touch down in the US? To arrive on campus?
Understanding
Goals
Materials Needed Students will need a piece of large sticky paperin their
groups

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The facilitator should be careful to pause for students to think about their responses. These
questions should take 5-10 minutes to ask.
Upon opening their eyes, students should refer to their reflection sheets they filled out before
they left and when they arrived on campus and then be given five minutes to write privately
about their thoughts.
After this, students should be asked again to close their eyes.
Think what it’s been like since they have been on campus. How many days has it been? Are you
still jetlagged? How has American culture surprised you? What have you encountered has been
difficult to understand?
After a pause for students to consider these questions, they should be asked, Have you encountered
anything that has offended you or is blatantly against your cultural beliefs? Are you concerned you
might? Why or why not?
The facilitator should be careful to pause for students to think about their responses. These
questions should take 5-10 minutes to ask.

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This conversation may be deeply personal, so the facilitator should make a point to remind
students about their safe space norms established by the group earlier in the day.
Following this, students should slowly be guided to open their eyes and asked to write a bit about
their reflections for personal use later. Students should be reminded reflection is important as it
will help them to identify lingering questions and offer opportunities to see change and growth
over the course of the year. The students should be given 5 minutes to do this.
The questions should be printed and placed on tables for students to look at while they write so
they may refer back.
Following this, students will be given 5 minutes to share their responses with a
partner.
During this time the facilitator should walk around the room and engage with groups who may be quiet or
struggling to discuss. The facilitator can prompt students to refer to the handout or ask one another
additional questions about their adjustments.

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After sharing with their partner they should be given time to share responses with the
group. The time for this response is dependent on how much the group would like to share but
should be at least 5 minutes. It is important the facilitator give everyone who wishes to share the
opportunity to do so, and if questions or concerns arise during this conversation, they are
written down to be addressed.
Following these questions, the facilitator should move into the next portion of this conversation by
telling students that now that they have reflected on themselves, their experience of getting to the
U.S. and their expectations, they should think about how their personal needs/expectations and
experiences may be impacted by American culture.
Using our previous definitions of culture (which should be then presented on a slide or pointed out in the
room) students will be asked:
If you had to define American culture, how would you do so? What do you consider some of the
paramount aspects of American culture?
Students should move into groups of 3-5 students to discuss together.
Students will be asked to write these responses on a large sheet of paper to be viewed by the group
later. They will be given 5-10 minutes to discuss as a group.
We will not be able to discuss every one of these responses, but by putting them up for others,

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Here the facilitator should be mindful of stereotypes and expectations and do their best to help group ideas
together to see patterns of expectations.
students can comment on one another’s concerns.
After the discussion, the facilitator should open up the conversation for students to contribute
their responses. Students will be prompted to give their responses for five minutes.
Following this sharing, students should be prompted to reflect privately. They should be asked to
consider the following:
How will these play out in the classroom at HGSE? When you think about your home culture, are
there things you are concerned about with regards to American culture? How might this impact
your experience at HGSE?
Here the facilitator is prompting students to think about how they can transfer these experiences into their
lives moving forward.

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LESSON 2: SMALL TALK AND COMMUNICATION:
ESTABLISHING DEFINITIONS AND ASKING
QUESTIONS
Generative
Questions
 How does culture impact communication?
What are some of the challenges I will face in
communicatingwith Americans?
 How can I be a more effective communicator?
 What are some challenges I may face in the
classroom as an internationalstudent at HGSE?
Understanding
Goals
o Students will understand there is no “correct” way
to communicate in America.
o Students will understand a variety of different
cultural communication styles.
o Students will identify some of the communication
characteristics of their culture.
characteristics of American culture.
challenges they will face within an American
culture.
o Students will understand whatsmall talk is.
o Students will understand some aspectsof their
cultural orientation.
o Students will understand some aspectsof
o Students will identify some ways their cultural
orientation may clash with American cultural
orientation.
o Students will understand a modelof small talk.
o Students will understand some of the ways to use
small talk while at HGSE.

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This second lesson is expected to follow the previous lesson which discussed culture, cultural difference and
expectations/concerns about studying in the U.S. It is expected that students will have a basic understanding
of these issues and will also be somewhat familiar with one another. However, if this section is offered after
the previous at another time, it will be important to remind students of the conversations they had
previously and the safe space expectations they have created for their group. Luckily, since part of the
previous lesson was consistently writing and sharing material on sticky sheets in the room, these are available
to display yet again.
It is very important students above all understand and respect the safe space expectations. This may require
a facilitator to have students reflect on what was said previously and create new expectations if the group
has changed from the previous.
If this programming is being offered in a single day, this may be an opportune time for students to
take a break. The facilitator may choose to give students 10 minutes to step outside, go for coffee
and regroup.
Before moving into the more “instructional” pieces of the workshops, the facilitator should again remind
students about the value of their responses and the way they will inform future conversations. Concerns,
questions and challenges that are brought up are recorded to be used for leading future conversations and
improving future orientation materials.
PREPARATION
Preparation
Ideally, the classroom should again be set up with round tables for students to speak with one
another at, preferably with six students to a table. Students should be able to view the projector
during the workshop.
The facilitator should pull up the YouTube clips in order so easily accessible for viewing.
Family Guy, “Guy in the elevator small talk”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJhrFrae8lI
Pulp Fiction, “Comfortably share silence”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1E2cYCcn64
Small talk at the hairdresser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg1xMP-Bg-k

32
PART 1. DIFFERENCES IN COMMUNICATION STYLES
50 minutes
Note to teacher: The activities in this piece are adapted from the Derek Bok Center for Teaching and
Learning’s Spring 2016 “Communications Style” workshop.
Students should be seated at tables with groups they choose.
To begin the facilitator should tell students they will do an ice breaker to get conversations started and
practice impromptu conversation; they will do a quick improv game.
The facilitator should tell the group stand up and point to items in the room around them and call
them something they are not. For instance, if a student were to look at a lamp, they could say dog.
The facilitator should explain this game is to get students to begin to be creative and think more freely about
how we communicate.
IF TIME IS AN ISSUE the first activity can be skipped and students can go immediately into “gift
giving.”
Understanding
Goals
o Students will understand there is no “correct” way
to communicate in America.
o Students will understand a variety of different
cultural communication styles.
characteristics of their culture.
characteristics of American culture.
challenges they will face within an American
culture.

33
Here, the facilitator should jokingly ask students if they already have their first item in mind. Students will
most likely have an idea of what they want to say. The facilitator should remind them this is a challenge
about thinking creatively and on the spot and it is not judged. Everyone will be speaking at once, so this is
truly a warm up exercise for everyone to get comfortable with thinking on their feet.
Do you already know what you’re going to say? Of course you do! That’s only natural. I challenge
you to let the idea come to you, we will be doing this together and no one will judge. We are just
warming up to get comfortable thinking on our feet, as we often do in conversations with others!

34
After introducing the activity, students will be told they will do it twice, one minute each, with a
pause in the middle to discuss briefly what the experience was like.
This will begin getting students to think in a more improvisational manner and set up our next activity.
Now will everyone please stand. I will time you for one minute as you name things in this room.
Following this the facilitator should ask students to discuss how that went.
Did anyone choose words all from the same category?
Why might one do that?
Students will respond to these questions and share their observations for two minutes.
Students will most likely have chosen words from the same category or had trouble identifying items as
something they are not. The facilitator should let students know this is a natural way the mind reacts
to misunderstanding; to attach to something it understands and tries to preemptively solve
problems.

35
Students will then be asked to try once more to do this activity without thinking ahead of time what they
want their items to be.
Let’s try that one more time for one minute.
This time, try to have fun and just be in the moment!
This activity is intended to get the students moving and laughing. It is a warm up for our next activity which
will give us a model for communication. Any students who are annoyed or frustrated should be approached
with kindness and care, reminding them this is just an activity to get us thinking and moving.
After the minute is up, the facilitator should ask students to take a seat.
Now is an opportunity for pausing and reflecting on communication with the group.
The facilitator should be careful not to belittle students in this discussion, but rather simply offer a reminder
about the intentions of this workshop: to help!
There is no “right” way to communicate here in the U.S. Today we are providing models and ideas
for helping you to become more comfortable, but are not the only “way” to communicate. You
should feel free to ask questions as we go to clarify.

36
To continue to get the creative juices flowing and move us into conversation skills, students
should be asked to pair up with someone they do not know. The student who is younger will be
“A” and the older student will be “B”.
This next activity will build off the previous and require again using improve and having fun.. This
activity will only be done twice.

37
Today we are practicing gift giving! But our gift will be imaginary and the receiver will decide when
it is gifted to them.
The facilitator should walk students through the following steps:
Like the last challenge, students should do their best NOT to consider what they want to say beforehand
and instead think improvisationally.
STEP 4
Person "B" continues the conversation.
STEP 3
Person "A" follows up by telling person "B" WHY they gave them the gift.
STEP 2
Person "B" THANKS person "A" for the gift of... (Person B decides what the gift is)
STEP 1
Person "A" motions to give an imaginary gift to person "B"

38
As much as possible you should NOT think about what you’re going to get until your partner’s
hands are in front of you! Channel what you did in our last activity and think on your feet, feel free
to be silly.
You should also be careful not to speak over your partner and wait for your turn to speak. No one
should offer more than a sentence response.
Here, the facilitator should offer students the opportunity to ask any questions. If they are unsure why we’re
doing this activity, remind them we are learning some models for understanding communication in the U.S.

39
Please take a couple minutes to look over this document and consider:
What are some of the large differences between these styles?
Which style is most like your home culture?
What style is most like American culture?
The dialogue will continue until the facilitator stops the conversation. This should go on for a couple
minutes, but should not be dragged out. After the conversation is completed, the facilitator should ask
students to switch.
Now let’s switch!
Students should now switch and person “A” is the gift giver.
After they complete this exercise, students should share how they felt with one another.
They will do this for three minutes.
Was it hard to keep conversation going?
Did it feel like one person was leading and another was following?
Was it hard to wait for someone to speak before you spoke?
Was it hard to come up with something to say next?
After this, students will share reflections with the group. The facilitator should take comments
for three minutes.
From here, the facilitator should give students a copy of the hand out “Playing the Game of
Communication.” (Bowling, Rugby, Basketball)
The students should be instructed they will now be given a couple minutes to look over these sheets and
consider the three different styles.

40
After a couple minutes have passed for students to reflect, the facilitator should ask for
feedback. Students should be given a few minutes to share responses to these questions.
Here the students should identify American culture as a basketball culture. Some key aspects of this include:
the cues that the conversation is being “passed” to you, knowing how long to hold it for and not
“dribbling”.
After the group has discussed the different cultural styles, the students should be asked to
group up and consider the following questions:
What are some of the challenges a bowler might face in a basketball culture?
What are some of the challenges a rugby player might face in a basketball culture?
Have you had trouble in these situations before?

41
Students will be given 10 minutes to discuss this.
During this time, the facilitator should walk around the room and listen to conversations students are having. To prompt
discussion if it slows, the facilitator may ask students to reflect on these experiences within their own culture or in their home.
Students could also be asked to consider when they have seen these differences on television or in a film.
The facilitator should also pass out the additional hand out “More Information, Cultures and
Sport Metaphor”
After this discussion group, students should be given the opportunity to share with the group
times they might have experienced these differences. The facilitator should give students 5-10
minutes to share responses.
Following this, students should be asked to reflect in their journals on their
communication styles, the challenges they expect to face adapting to a different
style and ways they might be able to overcome these challenges.
Students should be told they will have ten minutes to complete this.
This is a good opportunity for a short break for students; they should be given ten minutes to step away.

42
PART 2. WHAT IS SMALL TALK? WHY DO AMERICANS USE
SMALL TALK?
35 minutes
Students should be seated at tables with groups they choose.
To begin this lesson, students will view the following clips. To introduce them the facilitator should tell
students these clips will contrast what small talk is and its place in American culture.
The following are two different instances where characters discuss small talk. One is from “Family
Guy,” an American comedy show. The second is from the 1994 film “Pulp Fiction.”
Family Guy, “Guy in the elevator small talk” (0:26)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJhrFrae8lI
Pulp Fiction, “Comfortably share silence”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1E2cYCcn64
Following watching these clips, the facilitator should ask students to talk to their peers about what they
observe in these videos.
What is happening between the characters?
What are some of the challenges they identify?
Have you ever experienced a similar situation?
Understanding
Goals
o Students will understand whatsmall talk is.
o Students will understand some aspectsof their
cultural orientation.
o Students will understand some aspectsof
o Students will identify some ways their cultural
orientation may clash with American cultural
orientation.

43
Students will be given five minutes to discuss this in their groups.
After they discuss at their tables, students will be asked to share with the group some of their
responses. The facilitator should take 3-5 responses.
The facilitator should here be sure to point out that small talk is a large part of American culture,
as seen in these television and movie clips. Small talk is used in part because of some of the ways
Americans expect to interact with people they do not know because of cultural norms.
Following this, Students should receive the mapping your cultural orientation sheet.
The students will be instructed to place themselves on these scales to explore their cultural
context. This will help us to better understand some of the difference in cultural context that
impact communication styles.
Please look at this worksheet and see where you think you are on the continuums. As you fill this
out reflect on anything that surprises you about where you land and where you think your culture
may differ from American culture.
Students will need five minutes to complete this survey.

44
Following this, they should pair and share their responses.
To prompt discussion the facilitator can ask:
Where do you land in comparison to one another?
In comparison to American culture?
What do you think are some of the challenges you may face because of your differences?
Students will have five minutes to discuss this in their pairs.

45
Next we will ask students to connect their understanding of American culture to small talk. Americans use
small talk often because it is a low context, individualistic culture. Americans have many surface level
relationships. Establishing meaningful relationships takes time and requires a lot of trust to be established
over time, potentially requiring a lot of small talk.
After they have discussed in their pairs, students should be asked to share their responses to
the group. The facilitator should take five minutes for these responses.
After this, students should be asked to reflect on these questions in a personal journal. Students
will be given five minutes to write about these questions. Questions to prompt reflection:
Does knowing your cultural context help you to better understand some of the challenges you
perceive here in the U.S.?
Does knowing your cultural context make you think about engaging with other students at HGSE
differently?
Following this is a good time for a break so students may choose to share more with one another or take
some time to reflect further.

46
Part 3. Models and suggestionsfor small talk
60 minutes
Students should be asked to change tables once more before the lesson begins.
To begin this lesson, students will view the following clip. Students should be told this is a comedy clip
which outlines some of the challenges Americans face with small talk in the U.S. in a humorous way.
This four minute long video is a comedy clip about small talk. After we watch it we’ll discuss what
is happening in this clip.
Small talk at the hairdresser (4:43): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg1xMP-Bg-k
Following this clip, students should pair and share their thoughts from the video. They
should have three minutes to discuss the following questions:
What is happening here? Why is it funny? What are some of the techniques she is using to engage
in small talk? Why is she using small talk?
During these discussions it may be helpful to call upon students who have lived in the U.S. or are
from cultures similar to the U.S. to discuss their personal experiences. Students will probably be
interested to hear thoughts from their peers and students who may be bored by this material will be given
the opportunity to contribute meaningfully.
Understanding
Goals
oStudents will understand a modelof small talk.
o Students will understand some of the ways to use
small talk while at HGSE.

47
Students should be asked to share their responses with the group for about five minutes.
Next, students will be asked to reflect on their own ideas and experiences with small talk.
Do you enjoy small talk?
Does small talk make you uncomfortable?
Why or why not?
Students should discuss these questions in their table groups for five minutes.

48
Following this they should report back to the entire group, the facilitator asking for responses
for about five minutes.
After students have responded to these questions they should be prompted to consider what is and how
people participate in small talk.
How do you small talk?
The facilitator should ask students to think about this question with a partner for five
minutes.
After they discuss together they should share with the group for about five minutes.
Students may have questions about why Americans engage in communicating in this way. Ask others in the
room who have experienced this to give their thoughts on the question. Assure students this is not the
only form of communication Americans have... Instead learning about this is just to assist students in
engaging in small conversations with strangers to establish more meaningful conversations. Refer them back
to previous videos to think about the places small talk is used.
Family Guy- not in a serious relationship, Pulp Fiction: only when people don’t know one another well, the
hairdresser: attempts to create relationships with strangers

49
The facilitator should ask for two volunteers to model a small talk conversation. They should be
called to stand in front of the group.
Let’s practice; can I get two volunteers to role-play a situation?
After taking volunteers the facilitator should present the following situation.
You don’t know each other and you’re both standing at the T station waiting for a train. You’ve
seen each other in a class. One of you decides to say hi.
Students should act out this situation for about three minutes and be thanked for acting in front of the class.
After, the others should analyze the conversation they had for about five minutes.
What happened?
What did they discuss?
What did they notice about one another?
What did you notice about their conversation?
Do you think they will become friends?

50
Following this analysis together, the facilitator should offer students the following model for small talk. The
facilitator should also point out our knowledge of our “basketball culture” tells us that the conversation
should go back and forth.
There are three steps to basic small talk: Anchor, Respond/Reveal and Engage.

51
An anchor is to identify things you have in common. Some examples of anchors are on this slide.
A common anchor is the weather as it is not controversial and experienced by everyone. Other
possible anchors could be talking about classwork, a new restaurant that opened up or sports. For
instance, you might see someone in a Red Sox hat and ask them if they saw the last game.
Responding/Revealing is where you are able to add more to the conversation depending on what
you’re comfortable sharing. This is where you can begin to explore more commonalities and
interests.
Some examples are: in discussing rainy weather, someone might say at least it’s not snow!
In discussing school work, one might say they’re also feeling a little overwhelmed right now.
In response to a new restaurant you might share your favorite new spot.
If someone asks about a sports team you might reveal you’re a fan of another team.
If they ask about baseball and you don’t understand the sport, you might let the other person know
this.

52
The final step, engagement, is where you are able to make a connection forward.
Here when talking about the weather you might say you’re going hiking when the weather gets
better and ask for suggestions or offer to invite your new friend.
If you’re confused about baseball you might offer to teach someone about a sport you understand
that they might not, like cricket.
When talking about schoolwork, you might offer to invite this new friend to your study group.
When talking about food you might ask if someone wants to try a new place together.

53
After discussing the model, the facilitator should ask if students have any questions or need clarification.
As a reminder, this is a model for communicating.
Does anyone have any questions or thoughts about this model?
Following this, students will be asked to find a partner they have not met yet and engage in small
talk based on a scenario they are given.
We are now going to practice this model. Please find a partner to small talk with. I will walk around
with scenarios for you. Each of you will receive a scenario and you will take turns leading the
conversation. Whoever traveled furthest to campus will go first. You should discuss each topic for
about three minutes.
Students will each be given a slip of paper with a scenario on it to discuss. These scenarios will range
from leaving Longfellow after class with a classmate to running into a professor in Gutman. These scenarios
will allow students to play with real situations they may find themselves in and give opportunities to ask
questions about possible cultural difference.
The model slide should stay visible for students during their conversations.

54
Following this, they should discuss in their partnership how the experience felt- if they felt
comfortable or uncomfortable, if they felt connected to one another or not.
How was that?
Students should then be given the opportunity to discuss these experiences with their peers for
about five minutes. They may ask questions about the experience and raise concerns.
The facilitator should assure students that they will have support of one another and the Office of
Student Affairs.
To conclude this training session/orientation it might be helpful to point out some upcoming events and
contact information for the staff.
Additionally, students should be given the opportunity to give feedback/ideas for future
conversations to be added to the “save for later” board.

56
BEFORE YOU GO
REFLECTING ON YOUR YEAR AT HGSE
This reflection document is yours and does not need to be shared. Please fill this out while you are
still home and BEFORE you are on campus.
What are three things you are most excited about this next year?
1. ___________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________
What are three things you are most worried about?
1. ___________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________
What are three things you expect to miss from home?
1. ___________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________
What are three things you DO NOT expect to miss from home?
1. ___________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________
What do you expect America to be like?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
What do you expect graduate school in the US to be like?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
What do you expect Harvardto be like?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Adapted by “What’s Up with Culture” 1.1 http://www2.pacific.edu/sis/culture/

57
YOU MADE IT! NOW WHAT?
REFLECTING ON YOUR YEAR AT HGSE
This reflection document is yours and does not need to be shared. Please fill this during your first
day or so at HGSE. The more honest your responses, the better support you will be able to receive!
How was your travel here?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
What have your interactions with Americans outside of HGSE been
like?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Is Cambridge what you expected?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
What have your interactions with HGSE students been like?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
What have your interactions with HGSE staff been like?
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________

58
PLAYING THE GAME OF COMMUNICATION
The characteristics of these three games represent common speaking styles you are most likely to come
across (and practice) internationally.
"Basketball" is the style most frequently used in _______________________________________, in which
the speaker gives cues by "dribbling," or setting up key phrases that invite an immediate response from the
listener. Speaking turns are short with each party "taking the ball" to make their point, and then expecting
the listener to then take the ball back to make theirs. Hesitations and pauses indicate an opportunity for the
listener to take the speaking role - in which case, interruption is not seen as rude, but rather a way to keep
the "game" moving forward.
In______________________________________, however, most favor what linguist Deborah Tannen
refers to as a "high considerate" speaking style - in this case, described as the "bowling style." In the bowling
style, speaking turns are much longer and based on the hierarchical position of individuals involved; the
person with more authority speaks first, and the younger person (or one with less seniority) does not speak
until spoken to and waits for an appropriate pause to speak. In this style, interrupting or speaking out of
turn is seen as considerably rude and likely to negatively impact the communications.
This is in sharp contrast to the "rugby" style of speaking, often practiced in
_________________________________________. The rugby communication style is spirited and
spontaneous, with many voices being heard simultaneously. Rather than pause while listening to the speaker,
others in the conversation respond immediately, finishing that person's sentences for them and even taking
the topic into other areas. In this style, activeinvolvement is key, and interruptions are just par for the
course.
Japan, Northern China, Korea and Thailand
Britain, Canada, Australia and the United States
Russia, Greece, southern Europe, and African and Latino cultures
Borrowed from the Derek Bok Center for Teaching and Learning
Adapted from: Playing the Game of Communication
By Shelly Wallace, Associate Director,
XU Intercultural Communication Group
http://xucommunication.blogspot.com/2008_02_01_archive.html

59
MORE INFORMATION: CULTURES AND SPORT METAPHOR
Bowling cultures, are generally hierarchical, those in which participants defer to those in authority and
wait until others have completely finished.
This type of “game” is characterized by long pauses between speakers, a low key attitude – low volume and
a somewhat slow pace – and a consensus-building goal. Speaking out of turn is seen as “considerably rude
and likely to negatively impact the communications.”
According to research by linguist Deborah Tannen, this “high considerate” speaking style is most common
in the cultures of East Asia and Switzerland.
Rugby cultures are characterized by common patterns of verbal and non-verbal interruptions or
overlapping speech, a quick change of speakers and topics, and a louder volume in comparison to the other
sports-based discussion analogies.
“In this style, active involvement is key, and interruptions are just par for the course.”² The cultures
generalized to this pattern include the Middle East, Latin America, Russia, and Mediterranean cultures, such
as Greece, and some African countries.
Basketball cultures, characterized by the style most common in the US, Britain, Canada and Australia, are
characterized by short pauses between speakers and strategies such as “dribbling the ball” to hold the floor,
e.g., “There are two points I’d like to make here.”
“Hesitations and pauses indicate an opportunity for the listener to take the speaking role” – to take or steal
the ball – “in which case, interruption is not seen as rude, but rather a way to keep the ‘game’ moving
forward.”
It is expected in this style that no one person will “hold the ball” too long (dribbling) and therefore the
conversation must pass back and forth.
These resources were developed on material presented by the Derek Bok Center for teaching and Learning
at Harvard, with additional information from the following:
https://uminntilt.wordpress.com/2011/11/14/play-ball-discussion-as-bowling-rugby-basketball/
http://xucommunication.blogspot.com/2008/02/playing-game-of-communication.html

60
This resource is borrowed from the Derek Bok Center for Teaching and Learning.

61
SUGGESTIONS FOR FURTHER READING
Abe, J., Talbot, D. M., & Geelhoed, R. J. (1998). Effectsof a peer program on international student
adjustment. Journal of College Student Development,39(6), 539.
Hall, E. T. (1966). The hidden dimension. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.
Hyun, Jenny, PhD., M.P.H., Quinn, B., PhD., Madon, T., PhD., & Lustig, S., M.A. (2007). Mental health
need, awareness, and use of counseling services among international graduate students. Journal of
American College Health, 56(2), 109-18. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezp-
prod1.hul.harvard.edu/docview/213067860?accountid=11311
Leong, P. (2015). Coming to America: Assessing the patterns of acculturation, friendship formation, and the
academic experiences of international students at a U.S. college. Journal of International Students,
5(4), 459-474. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezp-
Mukminin, A., & McMahon, B. J. (2013).International graduate students’ cross-cultural academic
engagement: Stories of Indonesian doctoral students on an American campus. The Qualitative
Report, 18(69), 1-19. Retrieved from http://www.nova.edu/ssss/QR/QR18/mukminin69.pdf
Noyongoyo, B. (2011). International Students in US Colleges and Universities: Eating habits, Cultural
Identity, and Dietary Acculturation. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezp-
On the Importance of Diversity in Higher Education. (2012, June 1). Retrieved February 20, 2016, from
http://www.acenet.edu/news-room/Documents/BoardDiversityStatement-June2012.pdf
Powell, A. (2016, February 2). Support for a Diverse Student Body. Retrieved February 25, from
http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2016/02/support-for-a-diverse-student-body/

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