The writer encountered an unusual animal while on holiday in Africa. The animal had features of a lion, monkey, rhinoceros, tortoise, and bird. It was eating a frog by a lily pond. The writer observed its hairy mane, warty face, large green eyes, furry ears and tail that smelled like sweaty socks. The animal howled like a monkey and salivated on the writer when approached. It purred when petted. The writer plans to bring the animal, named Kelly, home by disguising it in a dress to avoid detection at airport security.