The freelance writer submits articles and rejection letters to editors in order to cover her living room couch in wallpaper. She believes writers get their ideas from a place called the Idea Center in Schenectady, but discovers from library staff that no such place exists. Frustrated with getting only rejection letters while other writers seem to easily get published, the writer tries to sell wallpaper to make ends meet as a freelancer with no steady income or respect.
This document profiles several employees of Anthropic through short interviews. It discusses their backgrounds and career paths, as well as what inspires them about Anthropic's culture of creativity. The employees come from diverse backgrounds and appreciate Anthropic's support of their passions. They find the environment rewarding and feel they can contribute meaningfully to the brand.
Elizabeth Romhild is a renowned Bangkok-based artist known for her sensual artwork focusing on the female form, love, playfulness, and inner beauty. She discovered her talent for art as a child but lacked confidence until moving to Indonesia in 1985, where she was inspired by the surroundings and joined an art group. Through dedicated practice over many years, she developed a signature style that is easily recognizable. Motherhood impacted her artwork by shifting the focus from nude figures to representations of love, comfort, and caring through depictions of breasts. She now releases lines of porcelain tableware featuring her signature sensual designs through a partnership with a Thai porcelain company.
This document discusses drawing and the exploration of different drawing processes and styles. It provides quotes about drawing from various artists and illustrates that drawing is a fundamental part of an illustrator's practice. Students are asked to experiment with different words to draw with to unlock their expressive abilities and develop new ways of working with drawing. The goal is to think creatively about drawing and use it as a tool for research and communication.
This document introduces penneylaneonline as someone who occasionally writes, makes patterns, photographs, and paints. They have interesting friends and create interesting vistas while seeking interesting spaces and finding interesting talking pieces. Their website is given as www.penneylaneonline.com where their mindStyle matters.
This document provides instructions and information for students to learn how to draw portraits by focusing on symmetry, proportion and the techniques used by Leonardo Da Vinci. It discusses key concepts like face mapping and includes examples of Da Vinci's notebook sketches. Students are guided through drawing the different facial features like eyes, nose, eyebrows and given tips to focus on proportion. The document emphasizes observation and references to understand human anatomy for accurate drawing.
Depression as a high-powered lens for art w/Kyohei Sakaguchia-small-lab
The document discusses depression and creativity from a conversation with Japanese polymath Kyohei Sakaguchi. It includes an excerpt from his book "How to Use the Lens of Despair" where he describes how periods of depression give him a unique perspective and help restart his thinking process. He argues that depression can be a strength when it allows one to observe society without bias and see art through a "high-powered lens." The document provides context and resources for further reading the topics of depression and art.
The document provides principles and techniques for acting, including:
- Acting involves learning techniques like feel, think, do and then extensive practice.
- An actor must be trained to inhabit a world of illusion and immerse themselves in emotions rather than thinking about them.
- Acting is 80% feeling and 20% technique, and the goal is to move the audience emotionally rather than drawing attention to oneself.
- Comedic acting involves heightening emotions and situations for comedy, choosing credibility over just getting laughs, and having characters truly suffer for humor in farces.
This parable tells the story of a blind man sitting with a hat and sign asking for help. A creative publicist notices the hat only has a few coins, adds some, and rewrites the man's sign without permission. The new sign reads "Today is spring and I cannot see it", appealing to people's emotions. When the publicist returns, the hat is full. The lesson is that changing one's strategy, even without consent, can lead to better outcomes when the original approach wasn't working. Have faith that changes are for the best.
This document profiles several employees of Anthropic through short interviews. It discusses their backgrounds and career paths, as well as what inspires them about Anthropic's culture of creativity. The employees come from diverse backgrounds and appreciate Anthropic's support of their passions. They find the environment rewarding and feel they can contribute meaningfully to the brand.
Elizabeth Romhild is a renowned Bangkok-based artist known for her sensual artwork focusing on the female form, love, playfulness, and inner beauty. She discovered her talent for art as a child but lacked confidence until moving to Indonesia in 1985, where she was inspired by the surroundings and joined an art group. Through dedicated practice over many years, she developed a signature style that is easily recognizable. Motherhood impacted her artwork by shifting the focus from nude figures to representations of love, comfort, and caring through depictions of breasts. She now releases lines of porcelain tableware featuring her signature sensual designs through a partnership with a Thai porcelain company.
This document discusses drawing and the exploration of different drawing processes and styles. It provides quotes about drawing from various artists and illustrates that drawing is a fundamental part of an illustrator's practice. Students are asked to experiment with different words to draw with to unlock their expressive abilities and develop new ways of working with drawing. The goal is to think creatively about drawing and use it as a tool for research and communication.
This document introduces penneylaneonline as someone who occasionally writes, makes patterns, photographs, and paints. They have interesting friends and create interesting vistas while seeking interesting spaces and finding interesting talking pieces. Their website is given as www.penneylaneonline.com where their mindStyle matters.
This document provides instructions and information for students to learn how to draw portraits by focusing on symmetry, proportion and the techniques used by Leonardo Da Vinci. It discusses key concepts like face mapping and includes examples of Da Vinci's notebook sketches. Students are guided through drawing the different facial features like eyes, nose, eyebrows and given tips to focus on proportion. The document emphasizes observation and references to understand human anatomy for accurate drawing.
Depression as a high-powered lens for art w/Kyohei Sakaguchia-small-lab
The document discusses depression and creativity from a conversation with Japanese polymath Kyohei Sakaguchi. It includes an excerpt from his book "How to Use the Lens of Despair" where he describes how periods of depression give him a unique perspective and help restart his thinking process. He argues that depression can be a strength when it allows one to observe society without bias and see art through a "high-powered lens." The document provides context and resources for further reading the topics of depression and art.
The document provides principles and techniques for acting, including:
- Acting involves learning techniques like feel, think, do and then extensive practice.
- An actor must be trained to inhabit a world of illusion and immerse themselves in emotions rather than thinking about them.
- Acting is 80% feeling and 20% technique, and the goal is to move the audience emotionally rather than drawing attention to oneself.
- Comedic acting involves heightening emotions and situations for comedy, choosing credibility over just getting laughs, and having characters truly suffer for humor in farces.
This parable tells the story of a blind man sitting with a hat and sign asking for help. A creative publicist notices the hat only has a few coins, adds some, and rewrites the man's sign without permission. The new sign reads "Today is spring and I cannot see it", appealing to people's emotions. When the publicist returns, the hat is full. The lesson is that changing one's strategy, even without consent, can lead to better outcomes when the original approach wasn't working. Have faith that changes are for the best.
This document provides a summary of the 38 most common fiction writing mistakes and how to avoid them, as outlined in a book by Jack M. Bickham. The introduction discusses the importance of moving forward in writing and not looking back at past mistakes. It emphasizes having a positive attitude and viewing one's writing as a living, dynamic work rather than a static product. The document then lists and briefly describes each of the 38 most common mistakes, such as making excuses to avoid writing, considering oneself too smart for readers, showing off specialized knowledge, failing to create compelling characters, avoiding true conflicts, and more. For each mistake, it provides advice on how to avoid the mistake and strengthen one's writing.
An indirect self-portrait is a portrait that represents the artist through objects that have special meaning to them rather than directly depicting their image. The document discusses how artists like Frida Kahlo, Van Gogh, and Picasso created indirect self-portraits using personal objects, body parts, or reflections. It provides examples of modern indirect self-portraits made by students using objects that represent their interests like writing, music, travel, and childhood toys. The document encourages readers to make their own list of objects that represent who they are and could be included in their own indirect self-portrait.
Are You An Author or a Writer & What's the Difference?Kytka Hilmar-Jezek
Ever wonder what the difference is between an author and a writer? This quick presentation explains it...
Get your FREE resource list for writers, author and publishers:
http://www.distinctpress.com/master-resources
Thinking about writing your book? Visit
http://www.distinctpress.com/get-published/
Exploring the Portrait/Self-Portrait: Course Overviewglennhirsch
A course taught by Glenn Hirsch at UC Berkeley Extension's San Francisco Downtown Design Center each spring. For more information, email glennhirsch@earthlink.net or visit http://www.glennhirsch.com/id9.html
How to create a sci fi novel slideshareSabine Moura
The document provides tips for creating a sci-fi novel from S. Sorrel, who wrote the YA sci-fi book Incomplete. It details Sorrel's 6-year creative process for writing the book, breaking it down year-by-year. The main lessons include: seeing sci-fi as a way to discuss real-world issues through metaphor; marrying your characters by getting to know them well; knowing when a story is complete; and thoroughly reviewing and sharing your work with others. The document emphasizes writing consistently over time while balancing other responsibilities.
The document contains several quotes from famous writers about writing and the writing process. It emphasizes that writing takes practice, one should write even when uninspired, and the goal should be focusing on creativity and self-expression rather than rules or publication. Imagination and memory are important tools. Good writing evokes feelings rather than just facts.
Artists create self-portraits for several reasons: [1] Traditionally, artists create self-portraits over the course of their careers to represent their physical attributes. [2] Self-portraiture can also announce an artist's place in society or style. [3] Frida Kahlo produced many self-portraits because she was often alone and herself was the subject she knew best.
The document contains 14 poems written by two students about the novel Flowers for Algernon. The poems explore themes from the novel like Algernon the mouse's intelligence increasing and decreasing, Charlie Gordon undergoing the intelligence experiment, feelings of curiosity, sadness and reflection. The students chose to write poems as a creative way to discuss the topics rather than a boring essay.
The document presents a method for making decisions called "Is this really me?". It involves evaluating each alternative by determining if it is a fair expression of who you truly are and reflects your real self. Seeing decisions as acts of self-expression can make certain choices easier. The author provides examples of applying this method to various life decisions from jobs and relationships to smaller choices like clothing.
Olivier Rousteing discusses his career and vision as the creative director of Balmain. He started working at Balmain at age 25 and has built it into one of the most desired fashion brands. Rousteing emphasizes expressing his vision through the shows and embracing different styles. He also discusses the importance of social media and connecting directly with fans, saying he cares more about selling clothes and Instagram followers' comments than fashion critics' reviews.
Lisa Lee Hairston wants to make the most of her final semester at Bennett College. She has four goals: researching topics of interest, writing campaigns to benefit future students, studying for the GRE, and expressing herself artistically. With respect to art, she wants to present herself and her style of dress as works of art. She quit her job and stopped attending churches where her fashionable style was discouraged. At Bennett, she feels empowered to embrace her femininity, African-American heritage, and present the image she wants through her appearance.
- It typically takes writing 400,000-500,000 words (about 4-5 novels) before an author finds their unique writing voice. This is equivalent to writing 1,000 blog posts or 80 short stories.
- Agents and editors can often tell if a writer hasn't found their voice within the first few pages or even the first paragraph of a manuscript.
- The second step to developing your voice is to listen to feedback from readers. Their input on what works and doesn't work helps shape your evolving writing style over time.
1. The document discusses the concept of perspective and how our individual perspectives shape how we see and interpret the world.
2. It introduces a "Let It Go" game to help people shift perspectives by looking at images or situations from different points of view.
3. The goal is to learn that there are multiple ways to interpret any person, thing, or event, and shifting perspectives can help us be less attached to fixed judgments or beliefs.
This small book is consisted of posts published on my Blog Spot. Nothing special. Just thoughts of a little lady who loves to observe and write about candid things in Life.
The document provides details about the pre-production work for a magazine created by Hannah McNeill. It discusses researching color schemes and meanings to incorporate in the magazine's design. Hannah also considered including photoshoots to make the magazine more visually engaging for readers. She developed ideas for three potential photoshoots, including one featuring models wearing t-shirts with phrases about feminism. Hannah outlined plans for the magazine's layout, taking inspiration from fanzines with their DIY aesthetic. She also selected fonts and developed plans for the magazine's title and front cover design.
This document provides a summary of Melissa Mudd's portfolio from 2010, including examples of her creative writing experiments and art projects from an institute course. It contains 3 short pieces of creative writing focused on imagery from her surroundings. The document also describes 2 seedling projects - booklace necklaces combining images and text, and a painting with embedded headlines exploring hope. Graphic narrative storyboards and a self-portrait triptych investigating roles and identities are presented as additional examples of works started in the course.
Bill Watterson reflects on his time at Kenyon College and experiences after graduation. He describes struggling to find work and feeling unfulfilled in a job he disliked. This inspired him to pursue cartooning full-time, though it took years of rejection before succeeding. When his comic strip became popular, corporate interests wanted to commercialize it in ways that compromised his values. He chose to maintain his creative integrity instead of prioritizing profit. He encourages graduates to find purpose and meaning in their own lives rather than being defined by societal expectations of success.
The author uses art to express their passions and beliefs. They have always represented life challenges through art. After experiencing a negative review, the author felt a need to reflect on their choices. They realized they were acting like someone they were not to get attention or hide who they really are. In an art piece, the author painted makeup on their face in front of their class to represent hiding behind a mask. Removing the makeup made them feel terrified but also like they saw themselves clearly for the first time. The author wants to wipe away who they used to be and start anew through their art.
Quantasia Williams is a 19-year-old freshman at North Carolina A&T State University majoring in Fashion Merchandising and Design. She was born and raised in Asheville, North Carolina. Her first choice for a career is to be a successful fashion designer and have her own name brand, but if that does not work out, her second choice is to work as a visual artist through painting and drawing. She feels that either career would allow her to express her creativity and passions for art.
The document outlines Imogen Minto's initial plans for a fashion magazine project with a minimalist theme. Some key points include:
- Imogen wants to create a fashion magazine with a minimalist, clean aesthetic using pastel colors unlike her previous bold magazine.
- She lists three potential ideas - fashion, celebrities, and photography - and chooses fashion as she has experience with it.
- Imogen details plans for including sketches, multiple models of different body types, and a gallery of clothing photos rather than text.
- A mood board and font choices are presented to inspire a fresh, simple look through colors like yellow, blue, pink, green and patterns.
This document provides a summary of the 38 most common fiction writing mistakes and how to avoid them, as outlined in a book by Jack M. Bickham. The introduction discusses the importance of moving forward in writing and not looking back at past mistakes. It emphasizes having a positive attitude and viewing one's writing as a living, dynamic work rather than a static product. The document then lists and briefly describes each of the 38 most common mistakes, such as making excuses to avoid writing, considering oneself too smart for readers, showing off specialized knowledge, failing to create compelling characters, avoiding true conflicts, and more. For each mistake, it provides advice on how to avoid the mistake and strengthen one's writing.
An indirect self-portrait is a portrait that represents the artist through objects that have special meaning to them rather than directly depicting their image. The document discusses how artists like Frida Kahlo, Van Gogh, and Picasso created indirect self-portraits using personal objects, body parts, or reflections. It provides examples of modern indirect self-portraits made by students using objects that represent their interests like writing, music, travel, and childhood toys. The document encourages readers to make their own list of objects that represent who they are and could be included in their own indirect self-portrait.
Are You An Author or a Writer & What's the Difference?Kytka Hilmar-Jezek
Ever wonder what the difference is between an author and a writer? This quick presentation explains it...
Get your FREE resource list for writers, author and publishers:
http://www.distinctpress.com/master-resources
Thinking about writing your book? Visit
http://www.distinctpress.com/get-published/
Exploring the Portrait/Self-Portrait: Course Overviewglennhirsch
A course taught by Glenn Hirsch at UC Berkeley Extension's San Francisco Downtown Design Center each spring. For more information, email glennhirsch@earthlink.net or visit http://www.glennhirsch.com/id9.html
How to create a sci fi novel slideshareSabine Moura
The document provides tips for creating a sci-fi novel from S. Sorrel, who wrote the YA sci-fi book Incomplete. It details Sorrel's 6-year creative process for writing the book, breaking it down year-by-year. The main lessons include: seeing sci-fi as a way to discuss real-world issues through metaphor; marrying your characters by getting to know them well; knowing when a story is complete; and thoroughly reviewing and sharing your work with others. The document emphasizes writing consistently over time while balancing other responsibilities.
The document contains several quotes from famous writers about writing and the writing process. It emphasizes that writing takes practice, one should write even when uninspired, and the goal should be focusing on creativity and self-expression rather than rules or publication. Imagination and memory are important tools. Good writing evokes feelings rather than just facts.
Artists create self-portraits for several reasons: [1] Traditionally, artists create self-portraits over the course of their careers to represent their physical attributes. [2] Self-portraiture can also announce an artist's place in society or style. [3] Frida Kahlo produced many self-portraits because she was often alone and herself was the subject she knew best.
The document contains 14 poems written by two students about the novel Flowers for Algernon. The poems explore themes from the novel like Algernon the mouse's intelligence increasing and decreasing, Charlie Gordon undergoing the intelligence experiment, feelings of curiosity, sadness and reflection. The students chose to write poems as a creative way to discuss the topics rather than a boring essay.
The document presents a method for making decisions called "Is this really me?". It involves evaluating each alternative by determining if it is a fair expression of who you truly are and reflects your real self. Seeing decisions as acts of self-expression can make certain choices easier. The author provides examples of applying this method to various life decisions from jobs and relationships to smaller choices like clothing.
Olivier Rousteing discusses his career and vision as the creative director of Balmain. He started working at Balmain at age 25 and has built it into one of the most desired fashion brands. Rousteing emphasizes expressing his vision through the shows and embracing different styles. He also discusses the importance of social media and connecting directly with fans, saying he cares more about selling clothes and Instagram followers' comments than fashion critics' reviews.
Lisa Lee Hairston wants to make the most of her final semester at Bennett College. She has four goals: researching topics of interest, writing campaigns to benefit future students, studying for the GRE, and expressing herself artistically. With respect to art, she wants to present herself and her style of dress as works of art. She quit her job and stopped attending churches where her fashionable style was discouraged. At Bennett, she feels empowered to embrace her femininity, African-American heritage, and present the image she wants through her appearance.
- It typically takes writing 400,000-500,000 words (about 4-5 novels) before an author finds their unique writing voice. This is equivalent to writing 1,000 blog posts or 80 short stories.
- Agents and editors can often tell if a writer hasn't found their voice within the first few pages or even the first paragraph of a manuscript.
- The second step to developing your voice is to listen to feedback from readers. Their input on what works and doesn't work helps shape your evolving writing style over time.
1. The document discusses the concept of perspective and how our individual perspectives shape how we see and interpret the world.
2. It introduces a "Let It Go" game to help people shift perspectives by looking at images or situations from different points of view.
3. The goal is to learn that there are multiple ways to interpret any person, thing, or event, and shifting perspectives can help us be less attached to fixed judgments or beliefs.
This small book is consisted of posts published on my Blog Spot. Nothing special. Just thoughts of a little lady who loves to observe and write about candid things in Life.
The document provides details about the pre-production work for a magazine created by Hannah McNeill. It discusses researching color schemes and meanings to incorporate in the magazine's design. Hannah also considered including photoshoots to make the magazine more visually engaging for readers. She developed ideas for three potential photoshoots, including one featuring models wearing t-shirts with phrases about feminism. Hannah outlined plans for the magazine's layout, taking inspiration from fanzines with their DIY aesthetic. She also selected fonts and developed plans for the magazine's title and front cover design.
This document provides a summary of Melissa Mudd's portfolio from 2010, including examples of her creative writing experiments and art projects from an institute course. It contains 3 short pieces of creative writing focused on imagery from her surroundings. The document also describes 2 seedling projects - booklace necklaces combining images and text, and a painting with embedded headlines exploring hope. Graphic narrative storyboards and a self-portrait triptych investigating roles and identities are presented as additional examples of works started in the course.
Bill Watterson reflects on his time at Kenyon College and experiences after graduation. He describes struggling to find work and feeling unfulfilled in a job he disliked. This inspired him to pursue cartooning full-time, though it took years of rejection before succeeding. When his comic strip became popular, corporate interests wanted to commercialize it in ways that compromised his values. He chose to maintain his creative integrity instead of prioritizing profit. He encourages graduates to find purpose and meaning in their own lives rather than being defined by societal expectations of success.
The author uses art to express their passions and beliefs. They have always represented life challenges through art. After experiencing a negative review, the author felt a need to reflect on their choices. They realized they were acting like someone they were not to get attention or hide who they really are. In an art piece, the author painted makeup on their face in front of their class to represent hiding behind a mask. Removing the makeup made them feel terrified but also like they saw themselves clearly for the first time. The author wants to wipe away who they used to be and start anew through their art.
Quantasia Williams is a 19-year-old freshman at North Carolina A&T State University majoring in Fashion Merchandising and Design. She was born and raised in Asheville, North Carolina. Her first choice for a career is to be a successful fashion designer and have her own name brand, but if that does not work out, her second choice is to work as a visual artist through painting and drawing. She feels that either career would allow her to express her creativity and passions for art.
The document outlines Imogen Minto's initial plans for a fashion magazine project with a minimalist theme. Some key points include:
- Imogen wants to create a fashion magazine with a minimalist, clean aesthetic using pastel colors unlike her previous bold magazine.
- She lists three potential ideas - fashion, celebrities, and photography - and chooses fashion as she has experience with it.
- Imogen details plans for including sketches, multiple models of different body types, and a gallery of clothing photos rather than text.
- A mood board and font choices are presented to inspire a fresh, simple look through colors like yellow, blue, pink, green and patterns.
The vignette describes a day in the life of a student from waking up to after school. They dread their morning routine of getting ready for school. During school, they sit through classes wishing for the time to pass faster. Their mood improves during lunch when they can socialize with friends and break from routine. They look forward to after school when they can enjoy time with friends without obligations.
MY FRIDAY STORY - Retainers Rubber Bands and Being a GeniusValue-Ad
Frans Nel draws an analogy between teeth needing retainers after braces to stay aligned and people needing encouragement to stay remarkable. The document discusses how teeth want to revert to their original positions without retainers, and similarly people want to fall back to old habits without being reminded of their talents. It encourages taking risks to create remarkable work and be artists, and finding ways to regularly remind yourself of your genius, like wearing a retainer, to stay aligned in your new exceptional self.
This document discusses the complexities that arise in art critiques when a teacher evaluates a student's artwork while also interacting with the student artist directly. It notes:
1) A teacher inherently forms assumptions about the artist based solely on viewing their artwork, though these assumptions are often incorrect.
2) When the student is present, the teacher must reconcile their assumptions about the artist based on the artwork with their impressions of the student's personality.
3) Having a discussion with the student adds another layer of complexity, as the teacher now has three different impressions to consider - what the artwork implies, what the student looks like, and what they say about their work.
4) Alignment or disconnect between these three
1. 11
January 18, 2013| The Magazine |
|Features|
S
omeone asked me if I would con-
sider getting myself a real job. Now
why would I do that when there are
so many benefits to freelance writing? So
what if money isn’t one of them?
One of the biggest advantages to being
a writer is it’s the easiest and most econom-
ical way to get into the wallpaper business.
Whenever I get a rejection letter, I stick it
on the wall. I’ve been marvelously success-
ful. Every week, more and more editors work
for my wallpaper factory without pay. What
could be easier and more economical than
that? Last week, I submitted my brilliant
wallpaper business idea to the editors of an
entrepreneur magazine. Now they work for
my wallpaper company.
The other day I was at the library read-
ing a book about writing. The book said
writers are sick and tired of people ask-
ing them where they get their ideas. I was
quite surprised to read this, as coming up
with ideas has always been one of the hard-
est things for me. Imagine my astonish-
ment when I read that some writers who
are sick of this question, like to tell people
they get their ideas from the Idea Center in
Schenectady! So THAT’S where writers get
their ideas! Why didn’t anybody tell me??
I slammed the book shut, dashed out
the library, and raced all the way home to
call that center.
Just my luck, the lady at Information
said she couldn’t find that listing. Talking
to the manager was no help either. When I
tried to explain to him that this is a famous
place where writers get their ideas, he re-
fused to give me the phone number! All he
would do is keep telling me I don’t need any
idea center because I would do great as a
humor columnist.
So now I know how all those writers get
their articles published, when all I get is
wallpaper contributions. It’s because THEY
sit with their feet up, getting their articles
from that place in Schenectady! Is it fair that
I should have to work so hard just because of
those incompetent bozos at Information?
My office isn’t very fancy. It’s about six
and a half by two and a half feet. Okay, so
it’s our living room couch. The office (read
“couch”) has three sections. I mean pil-
lows. One section (read “pillow”) is where
I sit, with a torn hard cover from a book as
my writing surface, on my lap, scribbling my
drafts. The other two sections (read “pil-
lows”) are piled with blank papers, an as-
sortment of pens, and a piled high to the
ceiling stack of article drafts in various
stages. Yesterday, a lady dropped by and
I could see how she was looking at that
couch (read “office”) scornfully. I guess
some people don’t know a genius at work
when they see one. Poor thing. She didn’t
even ask for my autograph. This freelance
writing is really something. No money and
no respect!
The reading public probably thinks
this is a humor article. I know my fellow
freelance writers are wondering what’s so
funny. I’ll see you guys at the next writer’s
support-group meeting.
Hey, anybody care to buy some wallpa-
per?
Henia is a freelance writer. This is
her first humor article. She can be
contacted at Heniar@ymail.com
Oh, The Joy Of Freelance Writing!
By Henia
I Want A Makeover
By Susan Schwartz
I
want a Makeover. You know – the kind
where someone takes you by the hand,
and gives you a complete head to toe
redo. In forty years I have yet to find a shei-
tel that I really like, be it a cheap synthetic
or more expensive European hair. I want
someone to wave a magic wand, sit me in a
chair, look me over and say, THIS is the one
for you. Then she will put in on my head,
snip here and there and voila, the perfect
style to frame my face (glasses and all).
Then I will be whisked to the makeup
counter – a little eye shadow, some mascara
and the perfect lip color to make me look
great but completely not made up!
And who can forget clothes on this fan-
tasy trip. My personal shopper will of course
find the perfect clothes for my (slightly)
frumpy body. Not extreme, not even ex-
pensive, just ones that when I put them on
make me feel totally put together, profes-
sional and perhaps even sophisticated.
No one would ever accuse me of being
fashion forward. Since I was a teenager I
was relegated to wearing “sensible shoes”
because of a variety of foot problems. I
could no more wear a heel higher than
1.5 inches than climb a mountain. So of
course I need the perfect shoe that elon-
gates my leg without crippling me at the
same time.
And sheitels? Over the years I have flit-
ted from sheitel macher to sheitel macher;
sales and bargains. I have tried long and
short, curly and straight. I think the shei-
tel machers have a magic mirror. Whatever
looks perfect in their chair somehow looks
all wrong when I am home if front of my
mirror. And looking at pictures in albums
over the years will bear me out; what was I
thinking wearing some of those?!
So what’s stopping me? I can easily go
to any department store makeup counter
and have them give me a complimentary
makeover. And over the years I have even
done it once or twice. But by the next day
(even if I have bought the products out of
guilt for having taken their time) all the
brushes and blushes find their way into a
container on my dresser, never again to see
the light of day.
The problem is I am conflicted. If some-
body makes me over, what if I like the new
me better than the old me? How do I know
which one is the REAL me?
The old me is comfortable. No matter
how many black skirts I have in the closet,
there is always that one (or maybe two) I
reach for every day. It might be the one
with the elastic waist (so forgiving), or the
one that feels “just right” when I put it on.
Of course it is so well-worn it is beginning
to look like a shmatte, but I convince myself
it is black (hence slimming and forgiving of
all mistakes) and besides isn’t there some
adage about how feeling good makes you
look good?
The old me puts on a sheitel, runs a
brush through it and hopes for the best.
A slight dash of lip gloss (how come after
I find a color that I think looks decent, no
store carries that brand or color anymore?)
and I am on my way.
I used to think the minimalist look was
more than enough.
There is nothing wrong with the “old”
me except that I look like an “old” me.
Apparently women in their 20s and 30s can
get away with the minimalist look that I
espouse. But as one approaches the second
half of middle age (that means over 50!) it
seems one needs a little help to “put your
best face forward.”
But I am afraid of change. When I put
on makeup or a fancier sheitel I don’t recog-
nize myself in the mirror. I am looking for
the old, Bubbie me, not the pretend some-
one else me. If I decided to dress that way
every day I would just be playing some sort
of role. But if I never try to change, then
I guess I can’t complain about the old me
shuffling along each day.
So the next Chinese raffle that offers
a new custom sheitel will have me putting
in a ticket. If I win, I am hoping the sheitel
macher is going to tell me just what I need
to create the perfect new Me.
Until then, I am sticking with my comfy
black skirt, out of date lip gloss and sen-
sible shoes!