The document describes different types of farts, including: 1) The Standard fart, a dry everyday fart suitable for most situations. 2) The Nervous Fart, which occurs unintentionally during unpleasant situations like kindergarten concerts. 3) The Cough-Fart Combo, a premeditated technique used to mask farting around women. 4) The Wet One/Sticky One, which is funny for others but unpleasant for the farter and may require cleanup.

2. The Standard fart is quite simply an average every day fart suitable for most events and in the company of most everyone. It is dry in nature, but rarely exhibits a bouquet that will inspire jealousy among friends or co-workers. It belongs to the same family as The Ripper , and often times only lacks a bit of confidence and pressure to achieve this next level. An example of the standard fart may be heard by clicking the button below. Standard Fart Click to hear example

3. The Nervous Fart is only executable intentionally by farting masters, as it is normally a reaction to an unpleasant situation rather than something you can practice. You may have heard one of these at a kindergarden concert or during a company meeting where layoffs were mentioned. One of the characteristics of this fart is the high pitch at the end caused by the clamping of butt cheeks once it is heard by the nervous culprit. The Nervous Fart

4. The Cough-Fart Combo is a premeditated activity undertaken by one trying to mask his activities. This technique is often used in the presence of women; especially those who don’t understand that farts are funny. Warning: The Cough-Fart Combo can be a double edged sword, especially when your timing is a bit off, or the fart lasts longer than expected! The Cough-Fart Combo

5. The Wet One will score you huge points with the lads. Mostly because they’re hoping you just shit yourself. The wet one is often followed by an inspection of one’s underpants for damage. The Sticky One is funny for all but the perpetrator, and usually always results in the need for some clean-up . The Wet One (AKA-Stickey Fart)

6. This fart is very standard and dry in nature but is, as mentioned earlier, pushed out with a bit more confidence. It is usually quite well respected if it is heard by unsuspecting passers-by or blown in a church or quiet place. It is especially effective when used to punctuate the last word of a boring speaker’s lecture. The Power Fart

7. This fart is difficult to describe. It is quite high pitched in nature, and often times is associated with a tingling vibratory feeling in the crotch area. It can be used to significantly lengthen a ripper or standard fart if you are going for duration. The Soprano

8. My personal favourite: The Ripper . It is strong, intense and gives you a good deal of confidence that all have enjoyed or at least experienced it. It is not only loud, and with variable tones, but carries with it the reputation as being quite stinky. This one is ideally suited for a car journey, especially with child-lock electric windows. The Ripper

9. Yes! Good one... Baby, did you just rip a Fart?

10. Here you can play with all of them! Ripper Soprano Power Wet One (Sticky One) Cough-Fart Combo Nervous Standard