This is the Third of our Four (or so) presentations on what it means to be an adult in sprituality and faith. We step through John J Shea's description of adulthood as being defined by these attributes: The adult self: - Is a Body-Self - Is Founded in feeling - Has a Sense of depth - Has clear boundaries - Exists in intimacy - Is its own responsible process We try to unpack Shea's complex language, and then ground with seeing how these attributes distil the life and ministry of Jesus. This was presented to Cafechurch Melbourne in October 2013 www.cafechurch.org

1. Caféchurch 1/10/13
passage
Faith
Development
3 of 4 (or so)

2. Introduction
This is the third in a series
of sessions about faith
development – becoming
adults. This week, we think
about Transformation into
adults.

3. Preamble-ette
It could bear repeating that all this personal growth
stuff, while important, is secondary to God’s self-
revelation. It is as response that it becomes
“churchworthy”.

4. The Aim of The Christian Life
• “Speaking the truth in
love, we must grow up in
every way into him who is
the head, into Christ.”
Ephesians 4:15
• “beholding the glory of the
Lord, are being changed
into his likeness.” 2
Corinthians 3:18

5. The Movement From The God of the
Superego
to the Living God
Superego God -> Living God
• Supreme Being -> God as
Thou
• God of Law -> God of
Love
• God of Belief -> God of
Mystery
• God of Dependency and
Control -> God of Freedom
• God of the Group -> God
of Community

6. To Become an Adult is a
Journey
• We are going to be talking a lot about
what adulthood is and isn’t. It is important
to note that this is developmental,
gradual, spiralling, not once-and-for-all.
• I don’t know if I fully identify with all of
the following characteristics, but I can see
that they are important, and are a good
description of the sort of person I am in
the process of becoming.

7. What is an Adult Self?
The adult self is
• A Body-Self
• Founded in feeling
• Has a Sense of depth
• has clear boundaries
• exists in intimacy
• is its own responsible
process

8. An Interactive Idea
Jesus is our paradigm of adult
spirituality. So we are going to
see if we can think of Jesus
stories (either about him or by
him) which resonate with
these characteristics.

9. Body-Self
“The body is owned by the self, and
the self is comfortable in the body.
Self and body are united. When the
self has become an adult, the body
is no longer something it has, the
body is what it is… this integrity of
the body self that allows for comfort
and trust in the self even as it makes
mature affective relationships and
commitments possible”

10. Question
• In what ways was
Jesus a “body-self”?

11. Founded in Feeling
• “Feeling is the felt,
meaningful aliveness of
the body-self and the
sense of this self in
relatedness.”
• “Feeling… is a unity of
emotion and cognition”

12. Question
• In what ways was
Jesus “founded in
feeling”?

13. A Sense of Depth
“Deep, preconscious
feelings of rootedness
and well-being, self-
esteem, and
purposefulness…. An
inner feeling of worth,
trustworthiness,
autonomy and
capability”

14. Question
• In what ways was
Jesus did Jesus have or
speak about “a sense of
depth”?

15. Clear Boundaries
The adult self… has its own
dimension and place in its
mutuality with what is other.
It is an integral self and
know who it is and who it is
not… is able to accept itself
and the other as… “a Thou
in his or her own right.”

16. Question
• In what ways did
Jesus have “clear
boundaries”?

17. Exists in Intimacy
“Intimacy is the feeling
and depth of the body-
self welcoming the
feeling and depth of the
other.”
Our need for community
& intimacy is a primary,
and irreducible fact
about ourselves.

18. Question
• In what ways did
Jesus “exist in
intimacy”?

19. Responsible Process
• “To have a sense of
responsibility is to have a sense
of inner reality and identity.”
• “I am because I cannot pass off
my responsibilities to any other”
•“In adulthood, integrity and the
ability to respond go together.”
•“To be responsible is to be a self
in the presence of other selves, to
whom one is bound and to whom
one is able to answer freely”

20. Question
• In what ways was
Jesus a “responsible
process”?

21. Ways of Being of the Adult Self
• Actualizing self-in-mutuality
• Reflecting self-in-mutuality

22. Actualizing self-in-mutuality
“The body self in its feeling
and in its depth, determines
for itself how it will move
foreard. The meanings and
values of others no longer
dictate its actualization. The
adult self is at one with
itself. Its purposeful,
directed, responsible action
comes from within.”

23. Reflecting self-in-mutuality
“Flowing back and foth with
its actualizing and in tandem
with it is the ability of an
adult self to capture the
meaning and significance of
his or her activity. This
ability to reflect is the way
an adult self finds and
continues to hold… who it is
with others and the world.”