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Melissa Poston
Professor Bolton
ENG 101
11 March 2013
Is Facebook Really Friendly?
Hal Niedzviecki’s essay, “Facebook in a Crowd”points out the relationship between
online friends and real friends. This past summer, Niedzviecki signed on to Facebook and
realized that he was up to almost 700 online friends. Although he was proud and quite impressed
with his increasing number, Niedzviecki was uneasy about it as well. He realized that many of
the people on his increasing friend list were simply connections, acquaintances or even strangers.
He and many of his friends had fallen out of contact with each other for the usual reasons such
jobs, families that limit their social time, or distance.Niedzviecki was able to relate as he also had
a 2-year old child, was a workaholic, and he simply liked to be left alone. He came to realize that
though he had around 700 friends on Facebook, he actually had fewer friends than ever that he
could actually hang out with. So,he decided to have a Facebook party to see how many of these
“friends” would show up to an actual event. Niedzviecki created the “event” and invited all 700
of his friends. Fifteen of them said that they would be attending, 60 said maybe, the rest either
ignored the event or said no that they would not be attending. On the day of the party,
Niedzviecki waited to gather with his friends and to meet some of his new friends. He showered,
shaved, and dressed in a favorite outfit in preparation for the exciting event. As time passed, he
waited and waited. Finally, after a while, onewoman showed up named Paula. He was quite
embarrassed, though he tried to pretend that he was not dismayed. They talked for quite some
time as he kept looking for someone else to show up. Finally, after making small talk for a

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while, she had to leave. He decided to wait a while longer in hopes that someone else would
show up. Sadly, no one did. The next day, Niedzviecki realizes that “definitely attending”
means “maybe” and “maybe attending” means “likely not.” Being that all but one did not attend
his party, Niedzviecki concludes that “people want to hang out with you…They just don’t have
the time” (960). I agree with Niedzviecki that online friends are not always real friends, even
though many people just add mutual friends, acquaintances, connections or even strangers to
increase their numbers; also Facebook or other online social networksdoesn’t allow people to
have the personal interaction with another person.
Many people add colleagues, connections, mutual friends and even strangers just to
increase their numbers. Some people think of it as a competition and they do not really care who
it is that they add.Niedzviecki states, “I thought to myself, absurdly proud of how many
cyberpals, connections, acquaintances, and even strangers I didmanaged to sign up” (958).He
was very excited about having close to 700 friends, but he didn’t realize until later that he had
not kept up with anyone because they have been so busy. In the end, he realized that and he only
had a few close friends that he could socialize with.
While adding people to increase their numbers will create the illusion of a wide circle of
friends, it is often very difficult to maintain a personal relationship with others on Facebook. It
is too easy for a person to become disconnected if they simply rely on social media to keep up
with friends. Also, if you accept or request friendships from strangers or mutual friends, no one
really knowswho the personis. The only way they know the person is from their blogs and
photos. Lindsay Adler, writer of Facebook; a PSA Journal, says, “Your Facebook profile is your
personal presence on Facebook where you share photos of yourself, updates on your life, share
your thoughts, and connect with your friends” (web).So if someone only knows a person from

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their Facebook page, then they really don’t know that person. This is why Niedzviecki planned a
party to meet his online friends.
The reason Niedzviecki prepared a gathering was to get to know his new companions and
mutual friends, but only one person came out of 700 and that provides us with the reasoning that
online friends are not really a person’s friend. A true friend cares about what someone puts on
Facebook and tries to get together and hangout. A lot of people online abuse Facebook for drama
and stuff that is not necessary, and do not use it for the purpose it was created for, like keeping
up with old friends and chatting.
Hal Niedzviecki author of “Facebook in a Crowd,”tells us about his experience with his
online friends and how he decided not to depend on them. Just because it is a Facebook friend
does not mean they are a real friend. I agree with Niedzviecki’s article because online friends are
not really friends; people like to see who can get the highest number by adding who ever, and
also don’t have a personal connection to get to know someone new.

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Work Cited
Adler, Lindsay. “Facebook.” PSA Journal 77.6 (2011). 17. Academic OneFile.
Web. 6 Mar. 2013
Niedzviecki, Hal. “Facebook in a Crowd.” The Norton Field Guide To Writing.2nd
Ed. Bullock
Richard. W.W. Norton & Co, 2006. Print