1. 20 Global Living Magazine
EXPAT EXPOSÉ
A
t the end of 2008, I used the inheritance
from my recently deceased Granny to
buy a one-way ticket from Scotland to
Australia. I was 24, and the grief of watching
cancer take the woman I loved with all
my heart, idolized and spent most of my
time with sent me slightly off the rails. So
after making a barrage of idiotic choices, I
impulsively bought a flight, gave up my first
professional job as a sub-editor at a Sunday
newspaper, squeezed my life into a backpack
and flew to Sydney in March 2009, with no
plan apart from meeting my sister, who was
already there backpacking.
NowI’m32andI’monthecuspofreturning
back to the U.K. on a one-way ticket. I’ve
called this beautiful country “home” for about
eight years and it’s been a wild ride.
I reunited with my sister in Sydney, and
was immediately overawed by the thick
wall of heat that hit me as soon as I stepped
off the plane, as well as the Neighbors-style
houses, and everyone’s laid-back, friendly
vibe. We then flew across to Perth and stayed
in a hostel, making a gang of travel friends
(including my future ex-husband), before
heading to work in a pub in a rural mining
town, which was undoubtedly the most
authenticanduniqueAussieexperienceIhad,
with searing temperatures, ocher Aussies,
skimpy bars and kangaroos bouncing freely
around.
We saved enough cash to rent a car and
drive the red, dusty road from Perth to
Broome, and then flew to Darwin to meet
our traveling friends and work again, before
exploring the east coast. In the next few
months, the group gradually dispersed as
visas ran out and new travel plans formed.
By this stage I was in a relationship with an
Irish teacher called Michael* and we decided
fullcircleofexpatlifeMoving abroad, returning home and everything in between by Claire Henderson
to take a road trip to Melbourne to find work
in our professional fields.
And so came the transition from a fun-filled
nomadic lifestyle to “real life”. I didn’t miss
my home in Scotland when on the road, and
I loved living in a campervan so much I cried
when it came time to find a house. Stopping
in one place was when I started to realize how
much of the lives of close family and friends
I was missing. Since I left, I’ve
missed the weddings of two of
my best friends, and numerous
births, as well as big birthdays
and funerals, the last one being
my Granny’s. It kills me every
time. But there is no way to
just “pop home” when flights
cost at least $1000 and take at
least 24 hours.
However, I fell deeply
in love with Melbourne as
soon as we drove in. Such a
stunning, relaxed, clean city; it
is brimming with culture, has
an outrageously high-quality,
diverse food scene and the best
coffeeintheworld.Ittookonlyafewweeksfor
us both to get well-paid jobs in our career field
and Michael's work sponsored us so we could
have permanent visas. Soon the adventure
became a life. We found a nice house, built a
great bond with our neighbors, formed a circle
of friends and thoroughly enjoyed the lifestyle
and the long summers, that were mostly spent
camping and exploring.
But it wasn’t all fun and games. We lost
two friends quite traumatically. And while
we became engaged to be married, behind
closed doors, Michael was also battling with
an alcohol problem, which brought with it a
whole raft of soul-destroying issues. At the
imagecourtesyofClaireHenderson
time, I always felt like I should have been
more grateful for the life I had but something
massivelywasn’tright.However,withoutclose
friends and family around to see what was
going on and provide support, it became the
norm to cling to each other and live in a cycle
of hurt.
In 2013, we got married in Spain. The
wedding itself was a brilliant party but, again,
somethingjustwasn’tright.Someofourfamily
members picked up on it, but for many it was
only the first or second time they had met
each of us, thanks to us living so far away, and
it was impossible to discuss at a time that is
meant to be the happiest day of
your life. So still we plugged on.
We came back to Australia for a
fewmonthsandthenheadedoff
to South America for an eight-
month honeymoon, where
Michael's alcoholism blew out
of control and I walked out of
the relationship. He hit rock-
bottom but has been dry now
for more than a year, and I am
the happiest I’ve been in a long
time. But that road hasn’t been
easy.
Returning to Melbourne
seemed like a crazy idea to
many. It was so difficult for my
family and close friends in Scotland, who just
wanted to protect me. But being surrounded
by a fabulous bunch of friends and having a
job I knew well, I managed to slowly wobble
back onto my own two feet. And with my
ex in the same city, I had time to verify my
decision, rather than run away.
My first step to independence started with
a screwdriver and some flat-pack furniture –
and then six months of counseling (everyone
here is entitled to 10 free sessions a year).
As I started to pick myself up off the floor, I
gave myself three “independent woman” goals:
divorce, citizenship and a house deposit.
Eighteen months later, I have proudly
achieved all three, and it’s now time for a new
chapter. In the past six months, my mom and
dad have come out to visit, as have my sister
and my best friend, and it’s just made me want
to be closer to them. Seeing them once every
year or two isn’t enough.
So for now, my heart is telling me to go
back to Scotland, although it breaks to leave
what I will always consider to be the best city
in the world. I’m immensely grateful to have
citizenship, so returning is always a possibility.
This is definitely not “Goodbye, Australia”; it’s
“See ya later”.
*Some names have been changed to protect the
privacy of the individual.
I fell deeply in love
with Melbourne as
soon as we drove
in. Such a stunning,
relaxed, clean city;
it is brimming with
culture, has an
outrageously high-
quality, diverse food
scene and the best
coffee in the world.