4. iv
foreword
Addressing issues of gender justice and empowering
womenliesatthecoreofallprogrammesandprojects
at Oxfam India. In this endeavour, Oxfam India’s
project “Promoting Violence Free Lives for Women
in India” has the overall goal of reducing the social
acceptance of violence against women by bringing
a positive change in the policy and programme
environment that perpetuates its acceptance at
an institutional and community level. The project
has been supported by Department for International
Development (DfID), UK Aid under their International
NGOs Partnership Agreement Programme (IPAP).
Over the past five years of the project, we are pleased
to see the evolution of the state-level network, Sajha
Manch, in Uttarakhand which has spearheaded
advocacyfortheproperimplementationofPrevention
of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA) 2005.
In addition, this network has also provided support
to women facing domestic violence to end violence
in their lives. We would like to take this opportunity
to extend our sincere gratitude to our partner
ARPAN, who not only facilitated the network but also
extended the helping hand to many women facing
domestic violence through case work and adequate
support for the last four years. We are also thankful
to the officials of the Department of Women and
Child Development and the Department of Police,
Uttarakhand, who have extended all possible support
for the proper implementation of PWDVA 2005.
This booklet offers a compilation of 10 case studies
from across all the network intervention areas which
would help one to understand the issue of domestic
violence, the functioning of the network, its
outreach to women from marginalized communities
like the Dalits, Muslims and tribal communities, the
support they render to women including counselling,
linking women with legal, medical, shelter services
and economic opportunities and at the same
time, negotiating with the state government for
support and infrastructural reform for the proper
implementation of PWDVA. Sajha Manch and the
partner organization have functioned on the premise
of violence against women being the core issue
that is affecting their lives and providing them with
support up to the point they feel empowered and
take charge of their own lives.
With many more women taking a step towards
empowerment, Oxfam India in the coming days,
along with partner NGOs, will continue to strive for a
violence-free society.
Nisha Agrawal
CEO
Oxfam India
6. 22
INTRODUCTION
Violence against women and girls is one of the
most persistent, prevalent and systematic human
rights abuse across the world. Not only it is deeply
embedded in social structures across the world,
but also enjoys social sanction. This is one of the
most significant mechanisms by which individuals,
societies and states retain control over women, their
labour, reproductive power, and their choices.
The driving thought behind such violence is that
women are inferior to men, both within the family and
in larger social structures and settings. Historically
women have been socialized to accept this violence,
and they strive hard to keep it a secret, especially if
it occurs within the supposedly secure folds of the
family.
Hence the act of speaking out against violence is
one that takes immense courage especially in the
kind of patriarchal and feudalistic society that exists
in North India where women have long accepted
violence as their lot. Deep amounts of shame need
to be confronted as women are taught that they lie
at the root of violence that comes their way. This a
collection of the stories of such women who chose
not just to accept that what was being done to them
was wrong, but confronted it, and thus emerged
winners.
The enormity of their courage is understood better
when set against statistics on crimes against
women. According to the 2010 report of the National
Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), not only have crimes
against women been on the rise, the total share of
such crimes, in all recorded crimes, is also going
up. Thus, while in 2006, such crimes made up 8.2
per cent of all recorded crimes, by 2010, the share
had gone up to 9.6 per cent. It is also noteworthy
that the largest chunk of such crimes (44 per cent)
originates within the home and is unleashed by
husbands and relatives. The National Family Health
Survey(2005-06)recordsthat35percentofallIndian
women face physical or sexual violence, but only
one in four seek help from any institutional source
such as the police or social service organizations.
The level of acceptance of violence against women
is so high that 54 per cent of women believe that
wife beating is justified. The crimes against women
data reported under NCRB shows a total of 213,585
recorded throughout the country. Many more cases
of violence against women go unreported either
due to societal pressure or inadequate mechanism
for access to justice.
It was against this backdrop that Oxfam India, with
support from the Department for International
Development (DfID), UK under an International
Partnership Agreement Programme implemented a
projectforadvocacyfortheeffectiveimplementation
of the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence
Act, 2005 (PWDVA) between 2009 and 2013.
7. 33
Oxfam India in collaboration with partner NGOs
implemented the programme in 6 districts of Kumaon
region in Uttarakhand with a focus on nurturing
a state level network against domestic violence
to provide holistic redressal to women as well as
advocate for effective implementation of the act.
The members of the network provide counselling
support linking with legal aid medical system, shelter
services, vocational training, job opportunities
are the crucial linkages to the aggrieved women.
The network has seventy individual and CSO based
membership who not only provides the woman with
various alternatives but also helps in rebuilding
her life.
Over the last 4 years, the Sajha Manch Network that
was initiated in the state of Uttarakhand reached
The three main strategies of the programme are
as follows
• State and National level advocacy for the
proper implementation of the PWDV Act
• Providing direct support to women survivors
of domestic violence through women support
centre.
• Bringing change in behavior and attitudes of
men and women that perpetuates violence
against women.
out to many women who have faced domestic
violence. Members of Sajha Manch have advocated
for the effectively implementation of the PWDVA with
various government functionaries and the result of
such advocacy can been seen in the allocation of
budget for the implementation of the act. Oxfam
India and its partners worked very closely with the
Department of Police and Department of Women and
Child Development in bringing the change in the lives
of women.
After an initial identification of probable case
studies in consultation with implementing partners,
field visits were undertaken to record them. Each
story was recorded from the survivor’s recounting of
it. Though partner records were used to corroborate
the timeline of events and legal details, in each
case, it was the survivor’s version of events that
was recorded as accurately as possible. Where
available, family members, neighbours and friends
were also part of the conversation. Most of these
cases were recorded at the homes of survivors
to enable them to speak in a secure and familiar
environment where they would find it easiest to
verbalize their thoughts. The recording of these
stories was done both manually and electronically,
with each survivor being explained its purpose.
Photographs were taken with due permission
and shared with the survivors. Some names were
changed on request.
8. 44
This compilation would not have been possible
without the immense grace of the women whose
stories it tells. To welcome a complete stranger in
their midst, to lay bare their most intimate thoughts
and to answer questions that must have been put
repeatedly to them during their ordeal would not
have been easy. In addition, they were kind enough
to respond promptly to requests on clarifications,
long after the formal recording had been done.
This collection does not only tell the stories of 10
women who confronted varying forms of violence,
it is a testimonial and validation of the almost 3,000
women whose lives were touched during the duration
of the project. It recognizes the courage of each one
ofthem.WhileitgivesaglimpseofOxfam’ssuccessful
interventions in the state of Uttarakhand, its greatest
value would lie in inspiring other women, in similar
situations elsewhere to speak out against violence.
The partners in collaboration are as follows
District of Intervention Name of the Partner Address
Pithoragarh, Nainitaal, Almora,
Udham Singh Nagar, Champawat,
Bageswar,
Association for Rural Planning
and Action ARPAN
Vill. Helpiya : PO Askot :
Dist Pithoragrh
Uttarakhand
10. 66
BHAVNA
For six years of her married life, Bhavna tried to bow
her head to social customs that demanded that she
bear every insult her husband and in-laws heaped
on her. However once she realized that she had the
right to a violence free and happy life, there was no
stopping her from challenging her oppressors.
The 27-year-old from the village of Adhauda was
married to Hemchandra Joshi in 2008. For Bhavna,
the wedding was a chance to escape the oppressive
atmosphere at her home where her alcoholic father
would often beat her mother. Though a good student,
she had been forced to give up school after class
5 to look after her two younger brothers. The first
shock however came almost as soon as the wedding
ceremony was over and Hemchandra told her that
she would not be accompanying him to Agra—his
place of work.
Bhavna had barely reconciled herself to this fact
when her mother-in-law Hansi began taunting her for
bringing too little dowry. The kitchen utensils, bed,
jewellery and Rs 7000 in cash that she had brought
with her was deemed unworthy of Hemchandra.
When her father-in-law Amba Dutt intervened, Hansi
insinuated that he was doing so because he coveted
his son’s wife. On his visits home, Hemchandra would
join his mother in beating up Bhavna.
“When I asked him ‘why’, he said it was
simply because he no longer liked me,”
remembers Bhavna.
After two years of suffering, Bhavna made the first
attempt to challenge the violence and reported the
matter to the local chowki. Her husband and in-laws
were summoned and Hemchandra gave a written
undertaking that he would either take his wife with
him, or come and live with her in the village. Yet, after
a month of living with her, he returned to work.
Not one to give up, Bhavna then asked the village
panchayat to intervene. In the presence of the
pradhans her mother and her in-laws village, once
again reached an agreement between the couple.
Once again it was dishonoured. Bhavna returned to
her parents and contacted the women’s help line,
through which she then approached Vimarsh—a
member organization of the Sajha Manch collective.
After a Domestic Incident Report was filed,
counsellors went to her husband’s home. He refused
to accept Bhavna.
In June 2013, when her father-in-law passed away,
Bhavna made one last effort to reconcile with
her husband. “I went to offer my condolences
believing that in that moment of sadness they
would let bygones be bygones. I had not even
been there for a month when the abuse started.
My husband went as far as threatening to kill
me,” she says.
In July 2013, Bhavna filed a case under Section 12
of the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence
11. 77
Act, 2005 demanding Rs 1 lakh as
total compensation and Rs 5000 as
monthly maintenance. Despite lack of
support from her father (he had once
suggested to her that suicide was a
better option than legal recourse),
she was determined not to return. The
organization is also helping Bhavna
file for divorce.
Bhavna wants to resume her studies
but is hesitant to ask her mother for
money. Sometimes, hiding from the
family, she reads her brothers’ school
books. The principal of the village
school asked her to return, but she
shied away at the thought of sitting
with much younger girls.
Still recovering from the horrors of
her marriage, Bhavna has not clearly
thought about what she wants to do.
The only thing she is clear about is
pursuing her legal case.
“I need a clean slate to restart
my life. I am determined to have
it,” she says.
Bhavna, who is happiest when with books
12. 88
CHANDRA
Chandra Arya’s struggle was decidedly
unconventional as in an intensely patriarchal
society she dared to ask for her share in her
father’s property, despite threats from relatives. Her
motivation was two fold—that as a daughter she be
recognized as her father’s heir and that the income
from the land go towards securing the future of her
children.
The youngest of three daughters, Chandra lost her
parents when she was just 10 and was brought up
by her father’s elder brother. Her elder sisters were
already married by the time Chandra came to live
with her uncle. At the age of 22, she was married
off to Jagdish, a daily wage labourer. A few years
later Chandra, educated till class 8, got a job as an
accredited social health worker (ASHA). The couple’s
earnings were however not enough to cater to the
needs of a growing family and Chandra decided to
ask for her share in her father’s property.
“I had always assumed that it would be divided
among us sisters and was shocked when told
by my uncle’s sons that the land had gone into
taking care of me,” she says.
Determined not to give up so easily, Chandra who
by then was a part of the Sajha Manch (a network
in Uttarakhand) and had attended many awareness
programmes conducted by the collective, decided
to examine the land records at the tehsil office.
Much to her shock she discovered that her cousins
had fraudulently declared that since her father had
no sons, they had the right to claim the land as
their own.
“If my father would have had sons, would his
name not have continued in the land records?
Just because he had daughters, his name was
being struck off the land he had tilled his
whole life. I could not reconcile myself to this
unfairness,” she says.
While mocking relatives told her that she had been
wrongly influenced by her association with the Sajha
Manch, Chandra’s husband stood by her.
Though determined to get her land, Chandra was
hesitant to take legal recourse. “They were my
family after all and I had to live with them,”
she reasons.
Chandra however used the threat of legal action to
force her cousins to a compromise. Unwillingly they
gave her possession over one-third of her father’s
land. She tried to ask her sisters to stake their claim
as well but they were unwilling.
On the half acre of land that Chandra got, she
planted beans, chillies, peas and green vegetables
which supplemented the family’s food basket and
also yielded an income of Rs 8000 last season.
13. 99
Chandra says that women around
her are scared to ask for their share
of family property as they are fed
many myths with like their children
will face divine fury if they do so.
Though her job as an ASHA worker
gets her a receptive audience when
she speaks of women’s property
rights, it does not change mindsets.
“My question to the women is that
since you do all the work on the
land, why shouldn’t it be in your
name?” she says.
Chandra has however drilled the
equality of the sexes in the minds of
her two boys aged 17 and 13 years.
“I am so happy when my sons tell
me that their sister should get
an equal share in whatever we
have,” she says.
Thus while larger change might be
far off, in her own world, Chandra
has already set the ball rolling.
Chandra with her
daughter
14. 1010
DAIJU
Daiju, 27, sought help from the Mahila Kalyan
Sansthan (a member organization of the Sajha
Manch collective) to tackle the relentless physical
and mental violence unleashed by her husband
Dharam Veer Singh—a practitioner of black magic.
Though she did not want to divorce him, Daiju was
determined to get him to mend his ways.
The couple, both residents of the village Madhra
Bhoop Singh (Gadarpur) had fallen in love and have
been married 16 years ago. For some years, all
was well between them. Then Dharam developed
an interest in black magic. He would spend nights
praying at the cremation ground, splay ash all over
the couple’s home and chant in a loud voice through
the night. Soon physically assaulting Daiju was
added to the behaviour. After every attack he would
tearfully beg for forgiveness, claiming evil powers
had gotten hold of him. When Daiju was five months
pregnant with her first child, Dharam hit her so hard
on the bridge of her nose that a bleeding Daiju fled
to her mother’s home. The next day she reported
the matter to the police. Dharam was arrested for a
fortnight. For the next three months Daiju remained
with her mother, till her husband gave a written
undertaking at the thana that he would not assault
her. Yet, almost as soon as Daiju returned, the
physical attacks re-started.
Over the years, Daiju reported Dharam three more
times to the thana. He was arrested and imprisoned
but let off on the promise of good behaviour. One
more son and a daughter were born to the couple.
Daiju would have accepted this cycle as her destiny
had it not been for Dharam’s advances towards the
couple’s eldest daughter who turned 13 last year. “In
rage he would often threaten to sell her off.
But when he tried to molest her, I knew I had to
act,” she says.
In April 2013, she reported the matter to the Jan Awaz
Kendra (community level redressal centre set up
under the Sajha Manch collective) where a Domestic
Incident Report was filed. Fearing for her daughter’s
safety, Daiju sent her to live with her mother and
brother.
Infuriated at his daughter’s removal Dharam got
home a woman and announced his intent to marry
her. Daiju and the two younger children were forced
out.
Yet Daiju returned after a few days when news
reached her that the woman had left. “How can I
just give up everything? How will my children
be provided for?” she argues.
Daiju’s fear is that if she abandons her marital
home, she will either have to give up her children or
the children will be denied their rightful claim over
Dharam’s property. Though she has the support of
15. 1111
her mother Munko Devi and brother
Rajesh, she believes Daiju must ensure
her children’s rights even at the cost of
her own safety.
Taking the matter to the Jan Awaz
Kendra has ensured temporary lulls in
Dharam’s volatile behaviour. Every time
a case worker checks on Daiju, Dharam
mends his ways for a while.
While the entire village fears Dharam’s
black magic and does not confront
him, Daiju’s brother Rajesh says, “If
my sister were to file for divorce,
I would support her in every way
possible. I am also willing to
give her a share in our father’s
property.”
It is from this promise of security that
Daiju derives the strength to continue
the fight for her rights.
Daiju wih her children,
Ranjit and Vidya
16. 1212
DAMINI
Damini’s journey from victim to winner was scripted
over many years. She sought legal help to secure her
future and that of her daughter Gargi. Today not only
has she picked up the pieces of her life, she is also
set on the path of economic independence.
Damini (28) educated till class 12, was married to
Sanjay Chauhan in 2005. Though her mother Haruli
Devi, a widow, had made some inquiries about the
boy, the fact that he was already married and had
a son, came to light only after a year of Damini’s
marriage. After the first few months of married life,
Sanjay, a social activist, started mistreating Damini
verbally and physically—often humiliating her in
public and telling her that she was no match for
him. When she was pregnant she was repeatedly
threatened with dire consequences if a daughter
was born. With the birth of Gargi in October 2006,
those threats were made real. “I was sick and
weak but got no help from either my mother-
in-law or husband,” she remembers. In addition
to caring for her infant, Damini was expected to do
all household chores, and any small mistake would
leave her open to fresh abuse.
A few more months went by, before Damini and her
daughter were packed off to her mother’s home in
Hudaiti village. “For two years, I stayed there
braving the taunts and questions of neighbours
and relatives. Every time tried contacting my
husband, he would abuse me and refuse to come
and get me,” she remembers.
Damini then sought help from Arpan and filed a case
under Section 5 of the Protection of Women from
Domestic Violence Act, 2005 demanding monetary
relief and a residence order. Sanjay gave an
undertakingincourttoprovideherahomeandrefrain
from any kind of violence. However instead of taking
her to his double storied home in the city, he set her
up in a small house on the outskirts of Pithoragarh,
in a colony that housed anti-social elements and
which had neither water nor electricity. He would
visit her once a week and exploit her sexually. When
she again became pregnant, he forced her to abort
the child at home.
Through the constant abuse, Damini’s biggest worry
was that her daughter, then 5, had not been admitted
to school. “She would often ask me why her
father hit me and I realized that my situation
was harming her immensely,” says Damini.
Convinced that the situation would not change, in
June 2011 Damini filed a case under Sections 18, 19
and 20 of the Protection of Women from Domestic
Violence Act, 2005, demanding security, housing and
Rs 10,000 for herself and Rs 3000 for her daughter’s
maintenance. While that case is yet to be decided in
court, Arpan has helped Damini gain some measure
of financial security by putting her through training
in sewing and supporting her to purchase a sewing
machine. Gargi, admitted to a private school is doing
well though she sometimes questions Damini on
17. 1313
why, unlike the other children in
school, she does not have a father
who stays with her. The two stay
in one room in the Pandeygaon
locality which Damini has made
colourful with paper decorations
and embroidered wall hangings. As
her confidence returns, Damini is
contemplating the idea of enrolling
in the BA final course. She stitches
clothes and woollens for a living
earning around Rs 800 a month. Her
mother continues to support her by
sending her part of her deceased
father’s pension. Every time Damini
faces her husband in court, her
self-belief grows.
“The thought of my daughter
sustains me. The past is over.
The future is in my hands,”
she beams. This conviction is
Damini’s victory.
Damini embroiders on a table cover
18. 1414
LAKSHMI
Though the enormity of Lakshmi’s ordeal was far
bigger than her age of 15 and a half years, in tackling
it she has discovered reservoirs of courage and hope
she never knew she possessed. She is convinced
that traditions do not have all the answers and that
legal help is a viable option.
It was the day after the festival of Holi, and Lakshmi
was enjoying the last of the sweets that her mother
Jaiwanti had prepared for the celebration, when
Devki,herneighbourandoldestfriendcamebyasking
if Lakshmi would be interested in accompanying her
to a wedding. Lakshmi, a shy girl, who dropped out of
school after class 5 because she was embarrassed
at being the tallest in her class, readily agreed. As
the girls stepped out, they were joined by some
other youngsters from the village. The group walked
through the neighbouring forest of Bhattbhoj when
suddenly Lakshmi found herself alone with two boys
she had never met before. “The younger of the two
forced himself on me. His partner filmed me on
his mobile phone,” says Lakshmi. It was through
their conversations that Lakshmi figured out their
names— Mohan and Mangal.
The boys then dropped Lakshmi off at the edge
of her village Jaganpuri with the threat of fearful
consequences if she dared tell anyone about the
incident. Back home, she remembers scrubbing her
face repeatedly to remove any tell tale tears, and
then washing the dishes.
“That night, and for many nights after that, I
could not sleep. Many times, I tried to talk to
my parents, but never found the courage. Once
I almost told my cousin….” her voice trails off.
Unknown to Lakshmi, the clip was uploaded on the
Internet and found its way to mobile phones. One of
those who received it was Shankar Singh, a 19=year-
old to whom Lakshmi had been engaged about six
months ago. It was Shankar who showed the clip to
Lakshmi’s parents. The wedding was called off.
“My parents were furious. They kept shouting
at me,” Lakshmi remembers. When the family
confronted Devki, she denied having played any part
in the incident.
Lakshmi’s father Gopal, a daily wage earner, says,
“The only respectable solution was to have
Mohan marry my daughter. Who else would
want her?” He thus asked Mohan’s family to come to
Jangpuri and resolve the matter before a committee
of village elders. The wait stretched for 20 days.
Lakshmi’s family then approached the Jan Awaz
Kendra, a block level compliant redressal centre, set
up by the Mahila Kalyan Sanstan (MKS) in Jangpuri,
under the Sajha Manch collective, to record
and address cases of violence against women
and to also offer temporary shelter to survivors.
Volunteers at the centre and case workers from MKS
approached the Dineshpur police station on August
26, 2013 to lodge a FIR. Guddo Devi, the coordinator
of the Jan Awaz Kendra says, “The accused are
from influential families and tried to build
political pressure on the police. But we were
unrelenting. Not only did we get the FIR lodged,
we also demanded and got the case transferred
19. 1515
to Gadarpur where the chances of influencing the
investigation were slimmer.”
Lakshmi’s evidence was recorded before the police and
a magistrate. The clip was sealed, and a chargesheet
including charges of rape and criminal intimidation, in
addition to relevant sections of the IT Act that prohibit
transmission of obscene material were listed against the
accused, and submitted in court. The accused are jailed
in Haldwani.
Peace however eludes Lakshmi, who still has nightmares
about the incident. She says that everyone in her village
thinks she is to blame. “They taunt me that I look so
happy in the clip,” she shrugs.
Like her parents, she is convinced that only marriage will
put an end to her trauma. She once loved weaving baskets,
but gave it up after the incident. She also gave up sharing
of jokes and village gossip with friends troubled as she is
by Devki’s betrayal.
In an attempt to rebuild Lakshmi’s confidence, MKS took
her to New Delhi on the occasion of Gandhi Jayanti (October
2), to be part of a programme for women survivors.
Hira Jangpangi, the director of MKS says, “Legal redress
is only part of the solution. It is the fight against
perceptions—one’s own and of society’s that is
tougher. We are counselling Lakshmi to learn some
skills which will make her financially independent.
In Delhi, Lakshmi spoke to the media bravely and
narrated her ordeal,”
An important first step indeed, in the journey that Lakshmi
has taken to get back to the life she once knew.
Lakshmi holds a basket woven by her
20. 1616
MAMTA
Mamta makes for an unlikely heroine in her fight for
the girl child. Yet, it was her husband Lal Singh’s ire
for giving birth to a daughter that triggered a series
of events with far reaching consequences.
When she was married in 2008, Mamta was a bright
student of class 10. Though she initially opposed
the idea of marriage as she wanted to study further,
she gave in when her parents told her that a match
as good as this (Lal Singh’s late father had been in
the army, his elder brother was in the police and the
family owned large tracts of land and a provision
store) would be difficult to come by. The initial months
of her married life went by smoothly and Mamta was
alsopermittedtoappearforherclass10boardexams.
Then, her mother-in-law, Parvati and her husband
began taunting her for not getting enough dowry. The
physical assaults started soon after. When Mamta
became pregnant, she was warned against giving
birth to a daughter. Nine months after her daughter
Tanuja was born, Lal Singh forcibly gave her away
to his elder brother who was posted as a constable
in Bageshwar. “It felt as though someone had
pulled my heart out of my body,” she says.
When she conceived again, Mamta was tricked into
undergoing a sex determination test. “They told
me it was a test to investigate if the baby was
all right” she remembers. Upon discovering that
the foetus was female, she was forced to undergo
an abortion.
The year it was turned to 2012, and a completely
broken Mamta, denied any semblance of kindness
at home had became pregnant again. Her refusal to
be taken for any further medical tests infuriated Lal
Singh. So, on a cold January morning, as Mamta sat
hunched over a stove in her kitchen, he came in from
behind, splayed her back with kerosene oil, threw in
a lighted match and ran away. A stunned Mamta ran
to the bathroom to douse the flames.
A neighbour took her to the nearby government
hospital. The skin on her back had peeled off,
she had lost her hair and her forehead, neck and
ears had been singed as well while her right hand
was fused to her body. Yet, knowing that her poor
parents would be unable to keep her, she lied at the
hospital claiming that she had accidently poured
the oil over herself. During the next four months
while Mamta was in the hospital her husband visited
intermittently but when discharged she went to her
parents home where she gave birth to her second
daughter Sonam.
Tired of waiting for Lal Singh to come back to her
and determined to take matters in her hand, Mamta
then complained to the Naib tehsildar. That forced
Lal Singh to a compromise and he promised to take
back his wife and daughter and also to pay for their
medical treatment (the daughter had suffered mild
deformity in Mamta’s womb when she was set on
21. 1717
fire). However once Mamta returned to his village,
he told her that he had found work in Vadodara and
left, while her mother-in-law locked the house on
the pretext that she wanted to go and live with her
daughter. Mamta was told to stay with the cattle.
Dejected she returned to her parents.
A few months later, Mamta came in touch with
Arpan through a lawyer who was part of the Sajha
Manch collective. A Domestic Incident Report was
immediately filed and sent to the Protection Officer.
The organization also wrote to the DM, the DDO and
the CMO about Mamta’s plight and followed this up
by filing a FIR under Section 307 of the IPC against Lal
Singh, his mother and the doctor who had conducted
the sex determination test. The issue was also raised
in front of the state’s Pre-conception and Pre Natal
Diagnostic Techniques Committee and a crackdown
on illegal sex determination clinics ordered. Lal
Singh was jailed for a month. The CMO ordered that
Mamta be provided treatment free of cost. She was
examined by specialists and underwent surgery in
May 2013. In the same month, the civil court, acting
on a petition Mamta had filed under Sections 18, 19,
20 and 22 of The Protection of Women from Domestic
Violence Act, 2005 ordered Lal Singh to provide
a home for Mamta and her daughter in his village
Badabe Dhari, Rs 6000 for her maintenance, Rs 2000
for each daughter and Rs 5 lakh as compensation
for the physical and mental abuse he had subjected
Mamta to. In August 2013, Mamta finally returned to
her married home with Sonam.
While Mamta’s physical wounds began to heal
slowly, counsellors from Arpan repeatedly visited
her home, prevailing upon neighbours to provide her
with psychological support.
Some scars however refuse to fade—such as her fear
of the kitchen where she was set on fire. She now
cooks in the open and often gets up in a sweat in the
night from dreams of fire. She is acutely conscious of
her looks and avoids singing and dancing at festivals
and marriages. Yet her spirit remains unbroken. Lal
Singh is away at Vadodara where he works as a driver,
but sends her money. He even bought her a cow.
“I could have taken the easy way out and ended
my life. But then who would have mothered
my daughter? To her, I am the most beautiful
woman, and that is all that matters,” she
says as Sonam squeals in delight and rushes to her
mother’s arms. That she also challenged the system
in her fight is just a footnote for Mamta.
22. 1818
Mamta with her younger daughter
Sonam. The open door in the
background leads to the kitchen where
she was set on fire.
24. 2020
NEETU
Neetu took many years to break through the
traditional shackles which expected her to accept
violence as her destiny. However once she could
look beyond moribund traditions, Neetu not only
approached the court for relief but also began
working towards bringing a semblance of order in
her life.
Neetu, a resident of Badalu village (Pithoragarh) was
married at the age of 16 soon after she had finished
class 10 to army man Vasudev Lekhak. Her parents
gave their eldest daughter jewellery, a refrigerator,
a television and a sofa set. For her in-laws however
that was not enough, and the barbs for coming with
too little dowry started soon after. Her husband
would also point fingers at her character, accusing
her of being friendly with strange men. Four years
after the wedding, Vasudev dropped Neetu at her
parents’ home, promising to come back. When he did
not, Neetu, her mother Anita and her uncle went to
his village in Thal Mujani to reason with her in-laws.
They were greeted with abuses and blows.
Anita, who is an anganwadi worker, then approached
Arpan to mediate between the couple. Vasudev was
summoned and counselled to take back his wife, but
he refused, saying that he did not have a share in
his parental home and the nature of his job was such
that he could not take Neetu with him on postings.
Despite being given the choice of legal help and
filing a case under the Protection of Women from
Domestic Violence Act, 2005, Neetu wanted to make
her marriage work and was overjoyed when Vasudev
came to take her with him when his unit was posted
in Pithoragarh in 2010.
“It was a strange set up, there was just a bed
and a gas stove. When I asked him for money to
make it hospitable he hit me,” she remembers.
Vasudev’s colleagues who had heard Neetu’s cries,
complained to the Unit head after which he promised
to behave himself. The next morning, before leaving
for his workout, he gave Neetu a cup of tea. She
remembers passing out on drinking the cup, and was
jolted into consciousness by a furious banging on
the door. “He had left all four burners of the
gas stove open. The smell of leaking gas had
alerted the neighbours. My husband had tried
to kill me,” she says.
A remorseless Vasudev took Neetu back to her
parents’ home the same evening, promising to come
back after furnishing his living quarters. That was
the last time Neetu saw him. Three months later,
she received a notice from the court. Her husband
wanted a divorce.
Realising that legal help was the only option, Neetu
then filed a case under Section 498A of the Indian
Penal Code. For two years she attended hearings but
settled for an out of court compromise when Vasudev
lured her with fresh promises of reconciliation.
25. 2121
When that did not happen, she filed a case under
the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence
Act, 2005 asking for residence and maintenance.
Vasudev gave inconsistent statements to the court—
expressing his desire to take her back and then citing
his inability to take her to his place of posting.
Constant counselling by Arpan slowly helped Neetu
see the futility of her wish for a reconciliation. In
September 2013 she accepted the divorce. The case
under the Domestic Violence Act concluded with
Vausdev paying her a compensation of Rs 9 lakhs
and returning part of her stri dhan. Encouraged to
resume her studies, Neetu is now preparing to take
her class 12 exams. She wants to do her graduation
and find a job so that she can be of some help to her
aging parents.
“Nothing has been easy. At one time I wanted
to end my life. More than what happened, it is
society’s attitude towards women that pains
me,” she says.
Her mother, who has stood by Neetu throughout
her ordeal says, “Courts can provide only legal
relief. But my daughter’s soul has to heal. That
will be more difficult,”
It is a journey Neetu is committed to making.
Neetu tends to the family’s cattle
26. 2222
REKHA
Rekha (27) had a formless but formidable adversary—
her husband Sher Ram’s suspicion. When she
decided to take that adversary on, she burnished
her courage with the conviction that she deserved
to live a life free from fear.
In Sher Ram’s dreams, Rekha would appear with
other men. Those dreams would so infuriate him that
he would beat Rekha when he woke up. Despite the
family’s poverty, he forbade Rekha from working.
When this unreasonable behaviour began impacting
the well being of Rekha’s two sons, she knew she
had to seek help.
Educated till class 5 and married at the age of 14 to
Sher Ram who worked in a hotel in Mumbai, Rekha
believed that despite the family’s poverty, she could
change the situation through her hard work. For two
years though she was prevented by Sher Ram from
seeking work on other people’s farms in the village
Gramdoba (Khairnar). As he would send money only
intermittently, it was difficult for Rekha to fulfil the
needs of the family which included her mother and
father-in-law. Hence she requested her in-laws to
permit her to work outside. When Sher Ram returned
from Mumbai, he was furious. And then the dreams
started. After every dream, the beating would
become more vicious. A belt, stick, shoes—anything
close at hand would be used to thrash Rekha as her
helplessin-lawslookedon.Hewouldcastaspersions
on Rekha’s character and say that the children were
not his. “Yet he wouldn’t let me leave with the
children,” Rekha remembers. Once she was beaten
so viciously that she found it difficult to open
her eyes for two days. The doctor who treated her
injuries advised her to seek help from the Jan Awaz
Kendra (block level complaint redressal centre set
up under the Sajha Manch collective) at Garampani.
Afteranappealtoherownparentsforhelpwasturned
down (there were three other unmarried daughters
to look after), Rekha approached the Jan Awaz
Kendra and pleaded for an intervention. After hearing
Rekha’s side of the story, her husband and in-laws
were summoned and asked for their version. Another
meeting was fixed to draw up a written agreement
between the couple, according to the terms of which
Sher Ram was to regularly send money home while
Rekha would look after the household chores and
their children, and not seek work elsewhere. In case
Sher Ram did not send the money, Rekha would be
free to work outside.
For some months the agreement held but Sher
Ram soon realized that just his salary would not be
enough to sustain the family. He permitted Rekha to
work, promising not to harass her. The case workers
from the Jan Awaz Kendra kept following the case to
ensure that he stuck to his word.
Despite Sher Ram’s occasional outbursts of anger,
Rekha finds the new arrangement satisfactory.
27. 2323
“I don’t want to abandon my in-
laws. They are growing old. If I
do, what example will I set for
my sons?” she asks.
Sher Ram once told her that
his suspicious nature was the
result of some black magic that
had been done to him. But ever
since she found out that it was a
psychological disorder that could
be cured, she has been trying to
take him to a doctor.
“I can now fulfil my children’s
demands. I can buy new clothes
for myself and my in-laws.
I could even afford some
jewellery for myself. Life is
much better,” she concludes with
a smile.
A happy and
confident Rekha
28. 2424
SUNITA
Sometimes getting out of a situation of violence is
not possible. Like Sunita, a woman might be driven
to compromise to make the best of the situation,
especially for the well being of her children. Staying
back then becomes a statement of courage and not
of cowardice.
Sunita’s troubles started with the birth of her first
daughter and increased as two more came along. Her
husband Bhupendra would hit her and often turn her
out of their home in the village Sonakot. Though she
reported the matter to the police, and Bhupendra
was jailed for some time, Sunita is hesitant to seek
legal help as she knows her poor parents will not be
able to support her struggle.
It was her parents’ extreme poverty which forced
Sunita into marriage at the age of 14. Her husband
was 15 years her elder, and an alcoholic who would
occasionally work as a daily wage labourer. The
rest of the time was spent abusing his wife and
threatening to sell off their daughters. The inlaws
though sympathetic found it difficult to stem their
son’s fury. After three daughters, when a son was
born to the couple in 2007, Bhupendra forced Sunita
out of the house.
With just Rs 10, Sunita took a bus, asking the
conductor to give her a ticket to the farthest
destination possible. That destination turned out to
be Arpan’s office in Askot where she was heard out by
a case worker and taken to the patwari (local revenue
officers with police powers in rural Uttarakhand)
to lodge a complaint against Bhupendra. He was
summoned and asked to give a written undertaking
of good behaviour.
For some time, Bhupendra kept that promise but
then lapsed into his old ways. Sunita got in touch
with Arpan again and the police help was sought.
Bhupendra was jailed for a fortnight.
That cycle was repeated four times, after which
Bhupendra started running away after attacking
Sunita to escape the police.
Meanwhile, weighed down by fear for her eldest
daughter, Sunita got her married off in a hurry, after
being told that Bhupendra was planning to sell her.
During the wedding too he tried to create trouble and
the police had to be called to arrest him.
Despite being forced to sleep out in the cold many
nights in a row, Sunita does not contemplate a
return to her parental home. She has four brothers
but says that they are too poor to support her. She
is also convinced that no matter where she goes,
Bhupendra will track her down and take away
their daughters.
Sunita’s predicament has drawn varying responses
from her neighbours. While the men appreciate her
29. 2525
for standing up to an abusive husband,
the women mock her for sending him
to jail.
“It is not out of fear that I have
not initiated legal action. It takes
strength to stay here. I have to
think practically for my children’s
welfare. At least I have my in-laws
and neighbours to support me here,
if I leave who will stand by me,”
she reasons.
Sunita’s days are given to working on
other people’s farms and cutting grass.
ShesavedRs2000andboughtabullwhich
she now hires out to mate with cows. She
also took a loan from a cooperative bank
to buy a sewing machine.
“My body might be weak, but my soul
is not,” she says. Her only aim is to
educate her children. When Sunita chose
a groom for her first born Rajni, her only
criterion was that she be allowed to
continue her studies.
As Sunita faces life with courage, Arpan
continues to support her with help as
and when needed.
Sunita
30. 2626
For women, confronting violence, means
confronting centuries of prejudice and traditions,
of displaying rare courage shaped by the conviction
that a life free of fear is a human right. Each of the
womeninthiscollectionfacedenormousobstacles.
Each one of them displayed rare courage which
helped them shape a life, which at least in part, was
what they wanted. What they lacked in education
and riches, they made up in determination and
resolve. Their stories are reminders that if women
take that first step to question the life that has
been chosen for them, the next steps will follow
and justice will be delivered. These are human
stories, not legal stories. They are real stories, not
stories of miracles—and hence stories that are bear
testimony to the best of the human spirit.
Oxfam India is a human rights organization that
fights poverty and injustice by linking grassroots
programmes to local, national and global advocacy
and policymaking. Under its gender justice theme
Oxfam India addresses the issue of Violence against
Women and Women’s Leadership in Governance
System. The present booklet highlights Oxfam
India’s work in Uttar Pradesh under INGO partnership
agreement programme supported by Department
of International Development (DFID) Government
of United Kingdom. The programme focused on
promoting violence free lives for women in India.
Oxfam India
1 Dalibagh, Butler Road,
Lucknow - 226 001, Uttar Pradesh.
Phone: +91-522-4172000
