This document contains advice on courtship and marriage from Ellen White. It discusses that Christ is waiting for His character to be perfectly reproduced in His people before He returns. It advises that courtship should not be rushed and one must ensure compatibility, maturity, the ability to provide financially, and permission from parents before courting. Courtship should not involve physical contact or rushing into marriage, and should determine if the person's character is suitable for marriage through proper length of courtship. It provides counsel on the qualities of a good wife and questions to consider when choosing a marriage partner.

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2. What is Christ waiting for?
Christ is waiting with longing desire for
the manifestation of Himself in His
church. When the character of Christ
shall be perfectly reproduced in His
people, then He will come to claim
them as His own.
Christ’s Object Lessons 69

3. Dangerous Decision
• Less than 1 in 100 marriages are
approved of heaven
• Do not rush decision for courtship
• Maturity
• Are you a priest
• Life work- can you provide for your wife

4. Permission
• Do you have permission from the girl’s
father or guardian?

5. Courtship not dating
• Courtship is not the same as dating
• Find out what the person is
like,compatability.
• No physical contact

6. Length
• No set time – as long as it takes to be
sure.

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8. Power of appetite
The controlling power of appetite will
prove the ruin of thousands, when, if they had
conquered on this point, they would have had
moral power to gain the victory over every other
temptation of Satan. But those who are slaves
to appetite will fail in perfecting Christian
character. The continual transgression of man
for six thousand years has brought sickness,
pain, and death as its fruits. And as we near the
close of time, Satan's temptation to indulge
appetite will be more powerful and more
difficult to overcome. CD 59

9. Diet for translation =
Meat should not be placed before our children.
Its influence is to excite and strengthen the lower
passions, and has a tendency to deaden the moral
powers. Grains and fruits prepared free from
grease, and in as natural a condition as
possible, should be the food for the tables of all
who claim to be preparing for translation to
heaven. The less feverish the diet, the more easily
can the passions be controlled. 2T 352

10. Are you a cook?
It is a sin to place poorly prepared food on the table,
because the matter of eating concerns the well-being of
the entire system. CD 251
Let not the work of cooking be looked upon as a sort
of slavery. What would become of those in our world if all
who are engaged in cooking should give up their work
with the flimsy excuse that it is not sufficiently dignified?
Cooking may be regarded as less desirable than some
other lines of work, but in reality it is a science in value
above all other sciences. Thus God regards the
preparation of healthful food.…. This talent should be
regarded as equal in value to ten talents; for its right
use has much to do with keeping the human organism in
health. Because so inseparably connected with life and
health, it is the most valuable of all gifts. CD 251

11. Baking bread and sewing…
There are very many girls who have married and
have families who have but little practical knowledge of
the duties devolving upon a wife and mother. They
can read, and play upon an instrument of music; but
they cannot cook. They cannot make good bread,
which is very essential to the health of the family.
They cannot cut and make garments, for they
never learned how. They considered these things
unessential, and in their married life they are as
dependent upon someone to do these things for them as
are their own little children. It is this inexcusable
ignorance in regard to the most needful duties of life
which makes very many unhappy families. 3T 156

12. Domestic duties
They (students) need to become familiar with the
duties of daily life. They should be taught to do their
domestic duties thoroughly and well, with as little
noise and confusion as possible. Everything should be
done decently and in order.
The kitchen and all other parts of the building should
be kept sweet and clean. Books should be laid aside till
their proper season, and no more study should be taken
than can be attended to without neglecting the
household duties. The study of books is not to engross
the mind to the neglect of home duties upon which the
comfort of the family depends. AH 88 - 9

13. Taking care of children
She should be fully competent to guide and
instruct her children and to direct her servants, or, if
need be, to minister with her own hands to the wants of
her household. It is her right to understand the
mechanism of the human body and the principles of
hygiene, the matters of diet and dress, labor and
recreation, and countless others that intimately concern
the well-being of her household.
It is her right to obtain such a knowledge of the
best methods of treating disease that she can care for
her children in sickness, instead of leaving her precious
treasures in the hands of stranger nurses and
physicians. AH 87 - 8

14. Things to consider
Here are things which should be considered:
• Will the one you marry bring happiness to your home?
• Is [she] an economist, or will she, if married, not only
use all her own earnings, but all of yours to gratify a
vanity, a love of appearance?
• Are her principles correct in this direction?
• Has she anything now to depend upon? . . .
• I know that to the mind of a man infatuated with love and
thoughts of marriage these questions will be brushed
away as though they were of no consequence. But these
things should be duly considered, for they have a
bearing upon your future life. . . .
AH 46

15. Wife care for man’s parents?
In your choice of a wife study her
character. Will she be one who will be patient
and painstaking? Or will she cease to care for
your mother and father at the very time when
they need a strong son to lean upon?
And will she withdraw him from their society
to carry out her plans and to suit her own
pleasure, and leave the father and mother who,
instead of gaining an affectionate daughter,
will have lost a son? AH 46

16. The blessing of a wife
Proverbs 19:14 “…a prudent wife is from
the LORD.”
Prov 31:26 “She openeth her mouth with
wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of
kindness.”
Prov 18:22 “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a
good thing, and obtaineth favour of the
LORD.”

17. Manifest unselfishness at all times
To love as Christ loved means to manifest
unselfishness at all times and in all places,
by kind words and pleasant looks. These cost
those who give them nothing, but they leave
behind a fragrance that surrounds the soul. Their
effect can never be estimated. Not only are they
a blessing to the receiver, but to the giver; for
they react upon him. Genuine love is a precious
attribute of heavenly origin, which increases in
fragrance in proportion as it is dispensed to
others. LYL 16 - 17

18. Wife Qualities
• A Christian – does all to the glory of God
• A vegetarian/Vegan
• She can keep a house clean and in order
• She can cook and sew
• She can train her children and has an
understanding of how the body works, and can
treat disease using natural remedies
• Spends money wisely, not to gratify self – how
does she provide for herself now?
• Kind, patient and painstaking
• Gets on well and cares for future in-laws

19. Protection of Hurdles –
Before courtship
• Does she love God
• Does she love the truth
• Does she love evangelism
• Is she modest and chaste
• Godly behaviour and reserve
• Vegetarian/Vegan – can she make bread
• Personality
• Appearance/looks