The document recommends buying a dog if you want a companion that will bring you the newspaper without tearing it, make a fool of itself to make you happy, eat whatever you feed it without complaint, go anywhere with you at any time, sit with you while watching movies without interfering, warm your feet in bed without criticism, and love you unconditionally. However, it recommends buying a cat if you want a pet that will ignore you when you call, not greet you when you come home, leave fur everywhere, walk all over you, be active at night only coming home to eat and sleep, and act like you exist only for its happiness.