We live in a world filled with "offended" people. This poisons relationships and paralyzes us emotionally and spiritually. What is the key to breaking this spirit of offense?

1. Introduction:
• Ever met a person who seemed to be mad at the
world? No matter how hard others tried, no one
could make them happy.
• Such people are easily offended and hard to be
friends with. It is even harder when the person is
related to us because we all want to love our
family and such people are hard to love.
• Do we know such a person? Have we been such a
person?
• The Bible tells a story of just such a man.

2. 1 Samuel 25:2 - A man in Maon had a
business in Carmel; he was a very rich
man with 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats
and was shearing his sheep in Carmel.
• Mount Carmel is located near the Mediterranean
coast of Israel, overlooking the city of Haifa, and
is quite beautiful to see.
• The word “Carmel” can be translated as
vineyard, orchard or park. The region lives up to
that name and is filled with fertile fields and has
one of the best views in Isreal.

3. A picture from Mount Carmel that Kay
took on our trip to Israel

4. Verse 2 - A man in Maon had a
business in Carmel; he was a very rich
man with 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats
and was shearing his sheep in Carmel.
• There was a wealthy businessman in the area.
• Notice that his wealth was counted in the
number of sheep and goats that he had.
• Though we all count wealth in different ways,
totaling up one’s assets is a common way,
though perhaps not the best way.

5. Verse 2 - A man in Maon had a
business in Carmel; he was a very rich
man with 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats
and was shearing his sheep in Carmel.
• Each year this man would shear the sheep and
sell the wool.
• It was a time for great celebration and it was
common in that time period to throw an
elaborate party to celebrate one’s good
fortune for the year.

6. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• The wealthy businessman’s name was Nabal.
• The word Nabal means foolish or wicked.
• This particular man surely lived up to his
name because he is described as being harsh
and evil.
• Imagine what would turn a happy child into a
harsh man.

7. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• Though we cannot know for sure why Nabal
was harsh and evil, we can assume that
something happened in his life to make him
that way.
• Though we may not know exactly why he was
so mean, we do know of many things that
should have made him happy.

8. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• He was not just rich, he was VERY rich. That
should have made him happy. But it did not.
• He was married to a woman who was both
intelligent and beautiful. That should have
made him happy. But it did not.

9. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• He lived in a lovely part of Israel with amazing
views and fertile soil. That should have made
him happy. But it did not.
• He had enjoyed the protection of David and
his followers, even though he had not had to
pay for that protection. That should have
made him happy. But it did not.

10. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• He was one of God’s chosen people, especially
blessed by the Father in many ways. This should
have made him happy. But it did not.
• He was even from a prestigious family, the line of
Caleb. Caleb was one of the 12 scouts that Moses
had sent into the land of Canaan when the
Israelites escaped from generations of slavery in
Egypt.

11. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• Caleb was well known among the Israelites as
a faithful follower of the Lord.
• Caleb was given Mount Hebron as a reward
for His commitment to the Lord and the
nation.

12. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• Though historical records are sparse, it
appears that as time went by the Calebites
were pushed from their mountain and lost
some of their previous prestige and honor.
• Caleb’s family did not deserve such treatment.
• Perhaps that is what made Nabal so mean.

13. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• We will never know what, but something had
happened that had deeply offended Nabal.
• Whatever it was, instead of facing the pain,
learning the art of forgiveness and moving on
with life, Nabal internalized the offense and
developed the spirit of offense.

14. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• Once Nabal had a spirit of offense, then
EVERYTHING in his life offended him.
• Though he had a great family heritage, a lot of
money, an amazing wife, free protection from
robbers and a great spiritual foundation, Nabal
remained focused on whatever had offended
him.

15. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• That focus on the offense of the past poisoned
Nabal’s entire life and all his relationships.
• It robbed him of the joy and happiness that he
should have felt in what was obviously a
blessed life.

16. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• Some may argue that it was his life and he had
the right to be miserable if he wanted to be.
• But Nabal’s behavior was impacting a lot of
people around him in very negative ways.
• They did not deserve to be treated this way.

17. Verse 3 - The man’s name was Nabal, and
his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was
intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a
Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.
• Though we may like to think of ourselves as an
island unto ourselves, that is just not true.
• We have family, friends, neighbors and co-
workers that our actions impact and they do
not deserve to bear the brunt of our
bitterness.

18. Verses 4-6 - David . . . heard that Nabal
was shearing sheepso David sent 10
young men instructing them, Go up to
Carmel, and when you come to Nabal,
greet him in my name. 6Then say this:
Long life to you, and peace to you, to
your family, and to all that is yours.

19. • David was living in the wilderness at the
time, hiding from King Saul who was trying
to kill him unjustly.
• David needed supplies and thought maybe
Nabal would give him some since he had
protected Nabal’s sheep.
• David sent young men, who would not have
been as intimidating as seasoned warriors,
and instructed them to offer a peaceful
greeting that was common for the time
period.

20. Verse 10 - Nabal asked them, “Who is
David? Who is Jesse’s son? Many
slaves these days are running away
from their masters.
• Instead of repaying David’s kindness with
generosity, Nabal insulted David, his family,
and his men.
• Nabal said they were of no importance to him
and that they were no better than slaves.

21. Verses 12-13 - David’s men retraced their
steps. When they returned to him, they
reported all these words. David said to his
men, “All of you, put on your swords!” So
David and all his men put on their swords.
• Though David was a good man, when he
heard how harsh Nabal was to his men, David
lost his temper.
• He told his men to get their swords and David
planned to find Nabal and kill him.

22. Verses 12-13 - David’s men retraced their
steps. When they returned to him, they
reported all these words. David said to his
men, “All of you, put on your swords!” So
David and all his men put on their swords.
• Though it was wrong for David to react this
way, we can understand his frustration.
• David had spent months being nice to a man
he barely knew and the only thing he got in
return was insults.

23. Verses 12-13 - David’s men retraced their
steps. When they returned to him, they
reported all these words. David said to his
men, “All of you, put on your swords!” So
David and all his men put on their swords.
• People with a spirit of offense can get even nice
people stirred up.
• As a result, sometimes even nice people hurt
them, which only compounds their offended
spirit.

24. Verses 14, 18 - One of Nabal’s young men
informed Abigail, Nabal’s wife . . . Abigail
hurried, taking [a lot of food and supplies],
and loaded them on donkeys.
• One of Nabal’s workers realized that David was
angry enough to kill Nabal, so he told Abigail.
Notice he did not bother to tell Nabal.
• Abigail quickly gathered up some food and
headed out to stop David.
• Since she did it quickly, it probably was not the
first time she had to do something like this.

25. Verses 14, 18 - One of Nabal’s young men
informed Abigail, Nabal’s wife . . . Abigail
hurried, taking [a lot of food and supplies],
and loaded them on donkeys.
• Friends and family members of people who
have a spirit of offense often have to run
interference for them and get them out of
trouble.
• People with the spirit of offense seldom
realize or appreciate what family and friends
do behind the scenes to keep the peace.

26. Verses 32, 34 - Then David said to Abigail,
“Praise to the LORD God of Israel, who sent
you to meet me today! Otherwise, . . . if
you had not come quickly to meet me,
Nabal wouldn’t have had any men left alive
by morning light.”
• David realized that two wrongs do not make a
right and he decides not to go fight Nabal.
• David was thankful that Abigail came and
stopped him from doing something he would
have regretted later.

27. Verses 32, 34 - Then David said to Abigail,
“Praise to the LORD God of Israel, who sent
you to meet me today! Otherwise, . . . if
you had not come quickly to meet me,
Nabal wouldn’t have had any men left alive
by morning light.”
• What is interesting in David’s reaction is that
he could have developed a spirit of offense as
well.
• Remember, David’s life had not exactly been
perfect either.

28. Verses 32, 34 - Then David said to Abigail,
“Praise to the LORD God of Israel, who sent
you to meet me today! Otherwise, . . . if
you had not come quickly to meet me,
Nabal wouldn’t have had any men left alive
by morning light.”
• David’s older brothers often made fun of him
when he was a kid.
• King Saul was jealous of David and sought to
kill him unjustly.

29. Verses 32, 34 - Then David said to Abigail,
“Praise to the LORD God of Israel, who sent
you to meet me today! Otherwise, . . . if
you had not come quickly to meet me,
Nabal wouldn’t have had any men left alive
by morning light.”
• David was living in the wilderness protecting
other people’s sheep and not getting paid for
it.
• If anyone had a right to be offended, it was
David.

30. Verses 32, 34 - Then David said to Abigail,
“Praise to the LORD God of Israel, who sent
you to meet me today! Otherwise, . . . if
you had not come quickly to meet me,
Nabal wouldn’t have had any men left alive
by morning light.”
• David refused to allow a spirit of offense to take
root in his heart. He had learned how to forgive.
• Like David, we have all been hurt at some point
in our lives. We ALL have stuff we could be angry
about. What differs is HOW we handle our hurt.

31. Verse 37 - In the morning when Nabal
sobered up, his wife told him about
these events. Then he had a seizure
and became paralyzed.
• The next day when Abigail told Nabal about the
disaster that his mean spirit had almost caused, it
bothered Nabal so much that he had a seizure.
• It is unlikely that he was sorry for his actions. It is
more likely that he was sorry about what could
have been the consequences of those actions.
• The seizure paralyzed him and ten days later he
died. An offended spirit often leads to early death.

32. Verse 37 - In the morning when Nabal
sobered up, his wife told him about
these events. Then he had a seizure
and became paralyzed.
• When we allow a spirit of offense to take root in
us, it will grow like a cancer until it chokes the life
out of us.
• It will choke us emotionally, spiritually, relationally,
and even physically, such as in Nabal’s story.
• An offense is not worth holding on to!!!!
• But learning to forgive when the person does not
deserve it is REALLY hard.

33. I read a blog by a lady who was angry at
her ex-husband for abusing her and her
children. She said she knew she should
forgive but just could not. She said this:
• It's been a bad few weeks and my emotional
state has landed me on probation at work and
they cut my hours. I am going see if I can get
on disability for the depression that has
reared its ugly head again. My life is still a
shambles even 5 years after my divorce.

34. Dr. Raymond Lloyd Richmond is a
psychologist from San Francisco who
maintains a website on the psychology
of forgiveness. He says:
• ANYONE who has ever been victimized—and
that includes survivors of crime, accidents,
childhood abuse, political imprisonment,
warfare, and so on—must decide whether or
not to forgive the perpetrator. There can be no
middle ground to this decision: either you
decide to forgive the person who hurt you, or
you hold on to bitterness and anger.

35. Conclusion:
1.Many of us have been deeply offended by
something in our past. That offense was real
and should not be taken lightly.
2.But at some point we must learn to forgive
and move beyond the offense.
3.Otherwise, a spirit of offense will take root in
our lives and it will eventually poison every
aspect of our lives.
4.We must get learn to forgive and release the
spirit of offense in order to have a blessed life.