The document reflects on the author's spiritual journey from a conservative Southern Baptist upbringing to a personal re-dedication to Christianity, emphasizing the protective nature of faith through various life challenges. Despite acknowledging past worldly behaviors, the author expresses a profound appreciation for the foundational role of faith and the significance of grace and personal relationship with God. Ultimately, the message encourages inclusivity and understanding of different paths within spirituality, promoting love and acceptance regardless of one's background or sexual orientation.

1. Backgroundof Belief
"Do youbelieve thatthe religionyougrew upwithwas/iscorrectinitsinterpretationof Godandthe
world?How do youreconcile the possibleinfluence you'vehadfrombeingbroughtuparoundthe
culture of the religioninfluencing yourdecision?"
From mybirthuntil age 11 whenmyfamilyre-locatedtoFrance (whichisprimarilyanatheist-
dominatedcountry) Iwasinitiallybroughtupina SouthernBaptistChurchinTX. In manyways;despite
itshighlyconservativevalues,thatchurchprovidedanimmenselysolidfoundationformyfaith.Iwas
protectedbythe evilsof the world;muchof whichI immediatelyencountereduponmovingtoFrance
and thenbecame yetagainprotectedinattendingaprivate Christianboardingschool inGermany.I
made my initial conversiontoChristianityatage 5 whichwas typical formanyotherkidsin that church,I
viewthatinitial choice intwodifferentways.Inbecomingsavedatsucha youngage; it wasa somewhat
cluelessdecisioninretrospectastowhat I now recognize inthe difficulties,persistence andin
overlookinginnate worldlydesiresall of whichatrue Christianfacesintheirchoice to walkdailyinfaith.
I begansuch a walka mere 3 yearsago, despite attendingvariouschurchesoverseasandinthe States.I
re-dedicatedmylife toChrist(anddonot claimanyparticulardenominationwhatsoever) uponendinga
verytumultuousrelationship/engagementwithamanwho showedme;ineverypossible way,the
worldlypleasuresinwhichwe dove into quiteoften.Myre-dedicationwascelebratedbythe most
triumphantbaptismimaginable;myclosestof friendswereable towitnessmymomentof total freedom
and I can honestlysaymylife have beenchangedeversince.EventhoughIneverreallypaidattentionto
Bible versesthatwere previouslymentionedinmyformerformof faith;theyoftencome uprandomly
inmy mindand helpme throughwhateversituationImaybe facing.I have learnedthe value and
importance of biblical andspiritual discernmentnot justinmy ownlife butinthat of others.It hasbeen
a journeyasdifferentasnightandday involvingmypreviousnegativeworldlyways,whichare still
somewhatevidentasIam an extremelyworldlyindividual.Oh;how manyand horrible were those ways
whichbringsme to my secondpointof view involvingmyinitial conversionatage 5. Despite all of the
traumaticexperiencesandpoorchoicesImade throughoutmylife inkeepingthe titleof aChristianbut
neverwalkingthe walk,Icanhonestlydeclare thatone choice protectedme fromliteral DEATH
numeroustimesinmyyoungadulthood.
EventhoughI had no walk;Ihad FAITH whichremainedimpervioustoissuessuchascommunist
debates,come-downs,sickness,abuse andthe darknessthathadme inits gripfor years.Inthe ultimate
momentof total severityinalmostall these situations;Iwouldthenchoose toseekGodand pray with
great frustrationinpleadingwithHimtotake it all away- take me away fromthissick world.Iwouldask,
scream,cry- WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU ALLOW THIS GOD?????What you mustrealize here isthat
eventhoughmostof my actionsand decisionswerenotthose of a typical Christian(andstill reallyaren't
perfect...whateverthe heckthatmeans.) myfaithinGod- insomethinggreaterthanthe darknessIwas
experiencingandinthe absolute belief of heavenandhell despitelife-alteringsituationsbasedonthat
initial,solidSouthernBaptistfoundationof myfaith-shieldedmyfate everysingletime.EvenwhenIdid
not deserve itinanyway.God savedme fromtotal destructionanddeath.Now;inresponse tothe
writingprompt,andconcerningthe factthat I try and visita differentdenominationasoftenaspossible
to furtherdeepenmyfaithbutmostlyattendLFA,Iwalkstrongand confidentlyinmyfaithandI

2. recognize thatthe Baptistideaof the fear stricken,ultimatedivine sanctionof God'sauthorityandthe
forbiddenactof publicworshipisnotreallyatall how myChristianwalkisnow intermsof my ownfaith.
I have learnedtonever,everfear,questionandmostimportantlyresentGod- butinsteadseekHimasa
source of endlessgrace andforgivenesswhosobadlydesiresaone-on-one,personal relationshipwith
each of us. Eventhe atheistsreadingthis.Please listenup.The onlytime we mustfearGod isinHis
temporaryabandonmentof ourlivesinresponsetoourbad choicesandmistakes- all of whichHe will
soonforgive butmustfirstallowusto learnfromeach one.We must know He holdseach of our fate
preciouslyinHishands- butknowthatis notsomethingtofearrather thanto rejoice inknowingthatno
matteryour religion;denominationorothertype of spiritualitythere isbutONEGod for usall who
LOVESus, KNOWSus,UNDERSTANDSour thoughtsand behaviorsandisinstanttoforgive if we choose
to seekhiminour failures.The absolute,mostblessedimpactmyfirstchurchimprintedonmylife isthe
gloriousunanimoussingingof traditional hymns.How cherishedare the timesIwouldhearthemin
darkness andfindimmediaterelief.
Consistencyisthe keytoreligion.Trustisthe wayof faith.Blindbelief inthe supernatural ismuchmore
simple thanreligiousrulesmake itouttobe.Take that leapjustas I didat 5; no matter yourown
background,and if you trulymeanit- youwill have God'sendlessprotectionthatwillshieldyoufrom
the severityof life.
PS- A frienddraggedme outfor the firsttime inawhile lastnightandtookme to a drag show.Iknowa
lotof Christiansreadingthislookdownonhomosexuality- butplease;re-thinkyourstance because
some of themare strongerintheirfaiththan yourealize,othersare lostandwill hopefullyreadthispost
afterthe many weirdchristianity.comcardsIpassedoutlastnight.God doesnotjudge yoursexual
preference, andjustbecause manyChristiansdonotcomprehendit;doesnotalwaysmeantheyjudge
youeither.Youare LOVED,CHERISHED, ACCEPTED byGod- no matteryourgender.Strive tobecome a
personof faith,value andpersonal worth- that;myfriends,iswhatismostimportant.
Love,
H