1. A tasteful salad of jokes
Printer Problems
A lady calls HP tech support because her colord printer does not print any yellow.
The tech support person helps her check the level of ink in her color cartridge. That does
not help.
They replace the color ink cartridge, no use either.
The tech support person guides the lady in uninstalling the drivers for the printer,
download new up-to-date drivers, install the drivers and reboot the PC. The printer still will
not print yellow.
The tech support person asks the lady to type some text in different colors and print them
separately. The printer prints all the text in the colors they were typed in except for the
yellow.
The tech support person is stumped and can not figure out why the printer is not printing
yellow when it prints green which is a mix of yellow and blue.
After powering the printer off and on again a couple of times, rebooting the computer a
couple of times and re-installing the drivers, both the lady and the tech support person are
getting frustrated.
Then the lady says to the tech support person: "Oh, should I be printing on white paper?"
The tech support person asks: "What color paper have you been printing on then?"
The lady says: "Yellow".
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Eyesight
Arthur is 95 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 30 years ago.
One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf.
My eyesight has gotten so bad...once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went."
His wife sympathizes, and as they sit down, she says, "Why don't you take my brother with
you, and give it one more try."
"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother is a hundred and three. He can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

2. So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up,
takes a mighty swing, and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. "Did
you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" says the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight."
"Where did it go?" asks Arthur.
"I can't remember."
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The Italian Lover
A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in
Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things
progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk,
they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.
After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, 'So, you finish?' She paused for a
second, frowned, and replied, 'No.' Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling
resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex
finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and asked, 'You finish?' Again, after a short pause,
she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, 'No.' Stunned, but damned if
he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman yet again.
Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming,
bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping.
Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again,
'You finish?'
Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear, 'No, I Norwegian.'
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Crabs (trad. libre:ladi....) (trad. ofic: cangrejos).

3. A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of crabs. A female crew member
took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did. The man firmly
advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen,
and proceeded to rant and rave about what would happen if she let the crabs thaw out.
Shortly before landing in New York , she announced over the intercom to the entire cabin,
"Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans , please raise his hand?"
Not one hand went up..so she took them home and ate them herself.
Men never learn.
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Why It's Important To Understand English
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency
exchange window at the local bank.
Short line. Just one lady in front of me ...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for
dollars and she was a little irritated ... .
She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get
hunat eighty?? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations" .
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too".
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Why sentence structure is so important .. .
The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or
Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler
the next morning.

4. Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went
to the cooler to take an aspirin.
The boss approached her and said: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay
you or Jack off.'
'Could you jack off?' she says. 'I feel like shit.'
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