12 Mind Tricks That Win People Over and Help You Get Ahead
Jul 15, 2015
Dr. Travis Bradberry
Coauthor Emotional Intelligence 2.0 & President at TalentSmart
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12 mind tricks that win people over and help you get ahead
1. 12 Mind Tricks That Win People Over and Help You
Get Ahead
Jul 15, 2015
Dr. Travis Bradberry
Coauthor Emotional Intelligence 2.0 & President at TalentSmart
When you’re working hard and doing all you can to achieve your goals,
anything that can give you an edge is powerful and will streamline yourpath
to success.
Mind tricks won’t make you a Jedi, but using the brain’s natural quirks to your
advantage can have a positive impact on everyone you encounter.
None of these tricks are deceitful or disingenuous, except for number six, and
I trust that you’ll only use that one with good reason.
As soon as you become aware of these 12 tricks, they start popping up
wherever you look. With minimal effort on yourpart, their unconscious
influence on behavior can make a huge difference in your day-to-day life.
1. When a group of people laughs, each member of the group can’t
help but make eye contact with the person they feel closest to
This trick can make you an astute observer of relationships of all types. It can
tell you which members of yourteam are bonding and learning to trust one
another, just as easily as it can tell you if you might have a shot at landing a
date with a certain someone. Of course, you’ll learn a lot about how you feel
2. about other people just by paying attention to whom you make eye contact
with.
2. When someone does a favor for you, it actually
makes them like youmore
When you convince someone to do you a favor, they unconsciously justify why
they are willing to do so. Typical justifications include things such as “he’s my
friend,” “I like him,” and “he seems like the kind of person who would return
the favor.” These justifications serve you perfectly. Not only did you just get
help with something, but the other party also likes you more than they did
before.
3. Silence gets answers
When you ask someone a question and they’re slow to respond, don’t feel
pressure to move the conversation forward. Remaining silent plays to your
advantage. Moments of silence make people feel as though they shouldspeak,
especially when the ball is in their court. This is a great tool to use in
negotiations and other difficult conversations. Just make certain you resist the
urge to move the conversation forward until you get your answer.
4. Open hands and palms create trust
There’s an employee policy at LEGOLAND that says whenever someone asks
where something is, the employee “presents” (open-palm gesture) their
directions instead of “pointing” them. This is because the open-palmed
gesture conveys trust, making people more likely to agree with what you’re
saying and to find you friendly and likeable. Pointing, on the flip side, is
generally seen as aggressive and rude.
3. 5. Nodding your head during a conversation or when asking a
question makes the other person more likely to agree with what
you’re saying
The next time you need to win someone overto yourway of thinking, try
nodding your head as you speak. People unconsciously mirror the body
language of those around them in order to better understand what other
people are feeling. When you nod your head as you speak, you convey that
what you’re saying is true and desirable, and people are more inclined to agree
with you.
6. If you have to tell a lie, add embarrassing details to make it more
believable
The more detailed a lie is, the more likely people are to believe it. When you
add detail, people begin to put a picture to your story. When you
includeembarrassing details, the picture becomes all the more vivid and
believable. After all, if you were going to make up a story, you would be much
more inclined to make yourself look good.
7. People remember unfinished things better
The natural tendency to remember unfinishedthings is called the Zeigarnik
effect. Ever notice how some television commercials get cut off early? The
company paying for the commercial cuts it off so that it sticks in your head
longer than other commercials. The best way to forget unfinishedthings
(commercials or songs) is to finish them in your head. If a song gets stuck in
your head, try singing the last lines to yourself. You’ll be amazed how quickly
it goes away.
8. Chew gum to relax and focus
4. Chewing gum actually lowers your cortisol levels, the hormone responsible for
stress. But chewing gum doesn’t just reduce stress, it also makes you more
alert and improves yourperformance in memory-orientedtasks. It does so by
increasing the blood flow to your brain and alerting your senses. When you
experience a stressful situation while chewing gum, yourbody is less likely to
go into the primal fight-or-flight mode (which results in poor decisions and
inability to focus).
9. People’s feet reveal their interest
When talking to someone, pay attention to their feet. If their feet are aimed at
you, they’re interested and listening to what you’re saying, but if their feet
point away from you, they’re most likely disinterested and mentally checked
out.
10. When you meet someone new, work their name into the
conversation in order to remember it
The goal here is to repeat their name three times in the first five minutes. It
works extremely well, but the trick is to do it naturally. When you rattle off
their name unnecessarily, it sounds foolish and awkward. Try to use phrases
like “Hello ____,”“Nice to meet you _____,”and “Where are you from
_____.”
11. Showing excitement makes other people like you
This one goes back to the idea that we mirror the behavior of those around us.
If you show excitement when you see someone, they naturally mirror that
excitement back at you. It’s an easy way to make a strong first impression and
to get people to like you.
5. 12. Maintain eye contact for 60% of a conversation
The key to eye contact is balance. While it’s important to maintain eye contact,
doing so 100% of the time is perceived as aggressive and creepy. At the same
time, if you only maintain eye contact for a small portion of the conversation,
you’ll come across as disinterested, shy, or embarrassed. Maintaining eye
contact for roughly 60% of a conversation comes across as interested, friendly,
and trustworthy.
Bringing It All Together
Give these tricks a try, and you’re bound to notice a difference in how people
respond to you.
Have you ever tried any of these? Please share your thoughts in the
comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-authorof the #1 bestselling
book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounderof TalentSmart, the
world's leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving
more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been
translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr.
Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, TIME,
BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall
Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.
6. If you'd like to learn
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the book's 66 emotional intelligence strategies will increase your EQ the most.