1. RIGHTEOUS ROMANCE – CONTINUED
“Song of Songs” – Part 2
“Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree With
Anyone Else But Me!”
MAY 25, 2014
FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH
JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI
USA

2. MEMORY VERSE FOR MAY
Micah 6:8
8 He hath shown you, O man, what is good; And
what does the Lord require of you, But to do
justly, To love mercy And to walk humbly with
your God.

3. MEMORIAL DAY

4. “Song of Songs”
Quick Review
• Author – King Solomon
• Date – 10th Century B.C.
• Literary Style – sensuous & suggestive imagery
from nature
1 Kings 4:29
29 And God gave Solomon wisdom and exceedingly
great understanding, and largeness of heart like the
sand on the seashore.

5. INTERPRETATION
1. Allegorical – Symbolic representation
2. Dramatic – A play or drama for performance
3. Love Song – Lyrical song about love (ballad)

6. Allegorical Interpretation
1. Love between the Lord & Israel (Passover
reading)
2. Love between Christ and the Church
- “I am the rose of Sharon, And the lily of the
valleys.” Song of Solomon 2:1
3. Love between Christ and the individual soul

7. MEANING & MESSAGE
1. Guide for love – physical and verbal
2. Marriage is exclusive and binding
3. Love between man and woman is valid and
beautiful
4. Sexuality is not a sacred ritual as practiced in
the pagan culture

8. The Characters in “Song of Songs”
1. The Beloved (Shulammite Girl)
- Allegory: God, Christ
2. The Lover (King Solomon)
- Allegory: Israel, Church, Soul
3. Friends – Chorus (Women) (Daughters of
Jerusalem)

9. Last Sunday
• Read Song of Songs 1:1 – 2:7
• Looked at imagery of comparing physical
beauty & handsomeness to things of beauty in
nature:
– Kisses, fragrance, perfume, skin tone, mare
harnessed to one of Pharaoh’s chariots, henna
blossoms, eyes like doves, our bed is verdant, lily
among thorns,
– “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

10. Question from last Sunday
If man and woman are so attracted to each
other as described in the “Song of Songs”, how
can there ever be any conflict between them?
Answer: God made them different and
differently.

11. REFERENCES
• Bruce Christopher Seminars: “The Differences
Between Men and Women”
• His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed
Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage.
Authors: Walt and Barbara Larimore
(Zondervan, 2009)

12. Differences in Communication
Men
• Words used per day = 7,000
• Focus on facts
• High ability to “Zone Out”
• Can actually not be thinking
about something
Women
• Words used per day =
20,000
• Focus on feelings
• Low ability to “Zone Out”
• Mind is always in gear

13. Differences in Communication
Men
• Want bottom line before
details
• Speak directly and use
words literally
Women
• Build story with details to
get to the bottom line
• Tend to speak indirectly
– Examples: “Fine”, “Go ahead”

14. Differences in Approaching Sex
Men
• Physically oriented
• Stimulated by images and
sight (visual)
Women
• Relationally oriented
• Stimulated by feelings,
smell, touch and words

15. Genesis 2:22-23
22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man
He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said:
"This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She
shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of
Man.“
Frank Pollard’s comment:
Adam said, “WOW” when he first saw Eve!!

16. Differences in Processing Information
Men
• Highly systemized
• High ability to
compartmentalize (box)
• Low ability to multitask
• High ability to control
emotions
Women
• Highly empathetic
• Low ability to
compartmentalize
• High ability to multitask
• Low ability to control
emotions

17. Differences in Processing Information
Men
• Tendency to act first and
think later when faced with
stress
• An aggressive response to
risk
• Tendency to compete with
other males
Women
• Tendency to think and feel
before acting in response to
stress
• A cautious response to risk
• Tendency to cooperate with
other females.

18. Differences in Problem Solving
Men
• Thinking about one issue at
a time, usually on their own
• Strong desire to make
decisions and take action
• Men want to just fix the
problem
Women
• Need to talk through
problems
• Want to talk about how
they feel about situations
• Women need men to listen
and not always fix problem

19. Hints in Problem Solving:
For Wives/Women
1. Give husbands the time and space to think
through issues on his own.
2. Be willing to work with him to find solutions you
can both act on.
3. Give him a task!
4. Speak to him in direct ways he can clearly
understand

20. Hints in Problem Solving:
For Husbands/Men
1. Listen to your wife when they are sharing their
thoughts and feelings about issues you face.
2. Ask questions to clarify the meaning of what she
is saying.
3. Your wife does not always want you to fix the
problem.
4. Sometimes just listening is needed.

21. Understand Conquest vs. Nurture
Men
• Motivated by conquest –
taking charge
• Defined by work and
accomplishments
• Strong desire to succeed in
their pursuits
Women
• Motivated to nurture –
providing care
• Defined by the people for
whom they care
• Strong desire to care take
others

22. Understand Provision vs. Security
Men
• Wired to provide financially
for his family
• Feelings of inadequacy
when financial challenges
Women
• Wired to provide emotional
security of a peaceful home
• Have significant power to
help man with feelings of
inadequacy

23. Understanding Respect vs. Love
Ephesians 5:33
33 However, each one of you also must love his
wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect her husband. (NIV)
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular
so love his own wife as himself, and let the
wife see that she respects her husband.
(NKJV)

24. DEFINITIONS
• LOVE – feelings of tender affection, romantic
desire, longing, and adoration
• RESPECT – esteem; a feeling or an attitude of
admiration and consideration toward another

25. Meaning of Ephesians 5:33?
• Wife – Primary need: Her husband’s love
– Wants husband to express love for her frequently
through words and actions
– God created woman with this need
• Husband – Primary need: Respect of wife
– Wants wife to respect and admire him
– God created man with this need

26. REFERENCE
Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires
and The Respect He Desperately Needs by
Emerson Eggerich, (Integrity Publishers) 2004
The Crazy Cycle: “Without love, a wife reacts
without respect; and without respect, a
husband reacts without love.”

27. How To Spell “LOVE” To Your Wife
C-O-U-P-L-E
Closeness – She wants you to be close.
Openness - She wants you to be open to her.
Understanding – Don’t try to fix her; just listen.
Peacemaking – She wants you to say, “I’m sorry.”
Loyalty – She needs to know you’re committed.
Esteem – She wants you to honor and cherish
her.

28. How To Spell “RESPECT” To Your Husband
C-H-A-I-R-S
Conquest – Appreciate his desire to work & achieve.
Hierarchy – Appreciate his desire to protect &
provide.
Authority – Appreciate his desire to serve & lead
Insight – Appreciate his desire to analyze.
Relationship – Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-
shoulder friendship.
Sexuality – Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy.

29. For Men Who “Zoned Out” Earlier!
What Women Want – How To Show Love!
1. Pay attention to them – LISTEN!
2. Pursue them like when dating.
3. Hold and hug them.
4. Help with household chores.
- Men look sexy in an apron or with a broom.
5. Tell them they are beautiful – regularly!

30. Song of Songs 8:5-7
“Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree With Anyone
Else But Me”
1. Love is as strong as death…
2. It burns like blazing fire…
3. Many waters cannot quench love…..
4. Money cannot buy love.

31. Song of Songs 8:5b-7
5b Under the apple tree I roused you; there your
mother conceived you, there she who was in labor
gave you birth.
6 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on
your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy
unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like
a mighty flame.
7 Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot
sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of
one's house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

32. CLOSING
Serve instead of seeking to be served.
Be willing to make the necessary sacrifices.
Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition – It’s 100%