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Punch your feelings in the face
- 1. Punching Your Feelings In The Face Saron Yitbarek, CodeNewbie @saronyitbarek
- 2. CodeNewbie @CodeNewbies the most supportive community of programmers and people learning to code @saronyitbarek
- 5. @CodeNewbies #MentorMonday Sept 18, 9PM EST AMA with 3 technical mentors www.codenewbie.org/mentor-monday
- 7. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies I am • woman • Ethiopian • immigrant • developer • event organizer • podcaster • wife • sister • daughter • English major • former journalist
- 10. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies • Know what you’re worth • Have an ask • Do the asking
- 11. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies What do you think of when you hear negotiate?
- 12. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies • Haggling at a flea market • Big powerful businessmen with briefcases of money Not very inspiring
- 14. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies What happens when you don’t negotiate?
- 15. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies People make more than you.
- 16. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies People make more than you.
- 18. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Uzo vs. Maria • First offer: $45K • Uzo negotiates for $5K more • Maria does not
- 20. Uzo vs. Maria • Maria never negotiates, gets 2% increase • Uzo gets 2% as well, negotiates every three years and gets a 4% raise
- 21. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Uzo vs. Maria Year 5 Uzo’s made $29,142 more $0 $5,000 $10,000 $15,000 $20,000 $25,000 $30,000 $35,000 1 2 3 4 5 Chart Title
- 23. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Uzo vs. Maria Year 10 Uzo’s made $71,659 more $0 $10,000 $20,000 $30,000 $40,000 $50,000 $60,000 $70,000 $80,000 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Chart Title
- 25. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Uzo and Maria Year 45 Uzo’s made $1,013,549 more $0 $200,000 $400,000 $600,000 $800,000 $1,000,000 $1,200,000 1 3 5 7 9 11 13 15 17 19 21 23 25 27 29 31 33 35 37 39 41 43 45 Chart Title = 253,387 lattes
- 27. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies How would negotiating change their lives? • Cost of living = $40K • Uzo: 4 years • Maria: 8 years
- 29. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies How to get yours Step 1. Research
- 34. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies How to get yours Step 2. Strategize
- 35. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies General Rules • Don’t tell them how much you make • Don’t say the number first • Back up your ask • Have other options
- 36. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies “I-We” Strategy • “… asking for what you want while signaling to your negotiating counterpart that you are also taking their perspective.” - Hannah Riley Bowles, Harvard Researcher • Example: “I hope that you’ll see my skill at negotiating as something important that I can bring to your team on the job.”
- 37. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies How to get yours Step 3. Do it
- 38. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies This is not about your feelings.
- 39. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Negotiating isn’t about money. It’s about power.
- 42. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies “Why did you let him do that?”
- 43. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies You didn’t have to stay on the phone. You can always walk away.” “
- 44. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies I didn’t know I had that power. And I’d given that up.
- 45. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies • non-confrontational • making you happy Two things about me
- 47. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Level 1: Practice At Home Goal: Not feel anxious when we disagree
- 48. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Level 2: Dealing with Servers Goal: Not feel bad when they mess up
- 49. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Level 3: Dealing with Friends Goal: Asserting boundaries without freaking out
- 50. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Level 4: Dealing with Bosses Goal: Honestly explaining my thoughts and feelings in a productive manner without triggering anger or anxiety from either party
- 51. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Finding your power is about finding your voice.
- 52. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies My first talk proposal
- 53. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies What happened after that first talk? • I got invited to speak • I got paid to speak • I started meeting other incredible speakers • I started building a platform • I got job offers • I can make an impression before walking through the door
- 54. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Speaking is just one option • blogging • podcasting • videos • community organizing • tweeting
- 56. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies This is not fun. This is uncomfortable.
- 57. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies Because what else are we going to do? Say no? Say no to an opportunity that may be slightly out of our comfort zone? Quiet our voice because we are worried it is not perfect? I believe great people do things before they are ready.” - Amy Poehler “
- 58. @saronyitbarek@CodeNewbies The next time … punch your feelings in the face.