1. Excerpt from Dave
Eggers’ essay

2. Early sentence in Dave Eggers Soccer Essay
It is a rule that they play, a rule set forth in the same
hoary document, displayed in every state capital,
that insists that 6-year-olds also pledge allegiance to
the flag—a practice which is terrifying to watch, by
the way, good lord—and that once a year, they
dress as tiny pilgrims with beards fashioned from
cotton.

3. It is a rule that they play, a rule set forth in the same
hoary document, displayed in every state capital,
that insists that 6-year-olds also pledge allegiance to
the flag—a practice which is terrifying to watch, by
the way, good lord—and that once a year, they
dress as tiny pilgrims with beards fashioned from
cotton.

4. It is a rule that they play, a rule set forth in the same
hoary document, displayed in every state capital,
that insists that 6-year-olds also pledge allegiance to
the flag—a practice which is terrifying to watch, by
the way, good lord—and that once a year, they
dress as tiny pilgrims with beards fashioned from
cotton.

5. Digression
It is a rule that they play, a rule set forth in the same
hoary document, displayed in every state capital,
that insists that 6-year-olds also pledge allegiance to
the flag—a practice which is terrifying to watch, by
the way, good lord—and that once a year, they
dress as tiny pilgrims with beards fashioned from
cotton.

6. Surprising Juxtaposition with Soccer
It is a rule that they play, a rule set forth in the same
hoary document, displayed in every state capital,
that insists that 6-year-olds also pledge allegiance to
the flag—a practice which is terrifying to watch, by
the way, good lord—and that once a year, they
dress as tiny pilgrims with beards fashioned from
cotton.

7. Ironically formal language
It is a rule that they play, a rule set forth in the same
hoary document, displayed in every state capital,
that insists that 6-year-olds also pledge allegiance to
the flag—a practice which is terrifying to watch, by
the way, good lord—and that once a year, they
dress as tiny pilgrims with beards fashioned from
cotton.